Maximizing your options
 

maximizing your options probably means different things to different people. at some schools the scenario that you mentioned is the way it is. you must attend every party you are invited to or your are dismissed from recruitment by panhellenic-even if some of your invitations are to chapters you "tried to drop". it also means keep going and stay in recruitment, even if you are not invited back to your favorite chapter or if you don't have a full days worth of parties. It means listing all the sororities that you attended pref. with on your card. it means going to bid day even if you received a bid from your #2 or #3 choice. It also means giving your new member period a chance.

you daughter is correct. it is not the same as when we mamas rushed. chapters are not required to bid legacies, and there are so many legacies going thru at some schools, even if the chapter loved them all, they could not pledge them all.

FSUZeta said it perfectly!

Basically, it means ranking every chapter you're invited back to each round. Say, for example, you attend 15 parties the first night, and can attend up to 10 for round two. To maximize your options, you'd have to rank all 15 chapters you attended. If you're invited back to 7 chapters for round two, you would attend all 7 parties and rank all of them at the end of round two. Good luck to your daughter! :)

Thanks to everyone who responded. When I was a collegian we had "bed" quota, so I think today more girls actually have a chance at getting a bid, if they maximize their options. I am aware that being a legacy does not carry the weight it did when I was in college. I am the "glass is half-empty" kind of a person, so I will be thrilled if my daughter is fortunate enough to get a bid from any chapter let alone her legacy chapter. She is really looking forward to recruitment, I hope she finds a wonderful sisterhood.

There are still a very few schools that have bed quota, and a very very few that put a "cap" on chapter sizes (i.e. not allowing sororities to go over total/ceiling for campus, overriding NPC's quota rules) but they are definitely the exception rather than the norm.

That isn't a glass half-empty attitude, it is a smart and realistic one. :)

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe schools with guaranteed placement guarantee everyone who does everything you listed- and makes it to pref night- a bid.
In other words- even at those schools- you could be dropped from everywhere before pref and then you wouldn't receive a bid.

I also think that a lot of people say "maximize your options" when they mean sticking with recruitment through the pref parties, since some women claim to have been cut from rush when they actually have dropped out prior to pref with one or more viable options still possible. Yes, it hurts to be cut by your favorite chapters before pref, but as we all know, opinions change, and sometimes they change a lot after pref night. A sorority that seemed just "ok" the day or two before can suddenly become "the one". Some chapters just don't shine in the hectic early rounds.

Right, that's why I said attend all parties to which you are invited. There is always the possibility that you won't be invited to ANY parties at some point.

Yep.

You don't know how many times a PNM has come here bemoaning "being cut from recruitment" but upon further questioning says "Well I had 2 houses left for Pref but I felt like I didn't fit in them so I dropped out." Not the same thing.

I get that it's your recruitment and it's up to you to do what you want. However, at many of the competitive schools that GC PNMs come from, withdrawing right before Pref pretty much means you aren't going to be Greek at all EVER (since your chances as a re-rushing sophomore are slim). I wish that a lot more PNMs at these schools would realize that.


Something else I wish PNMs thought about:

I also think that if you're at a school with chapters of at least 60-70+ or so women (random reasonably large number), chances are that you probably do "fit in" better with those 2 chapters you don't like than you think. There are too many different people for you to really say that you don't fit with either of them. You're bound to find some girls who are like you.

I could MAYBE buy the "don't fit" argument if your school has like 2 sororities and each of them has like 20 people (whom you know personally because your school has deferred recruitment). But if you're at somewhere like IU, UGA, etc. there are too many women in one chapter to really make an accurate statement about your "fit."

This seems like a ramble but I swear it made sense in my head. lol.

oh, alright sorry. :)
I was just clarifying that "guaranteed bid" does not mean "guaranteed invites to at least one party".

This is exactly why I don't buy the statement "you'll end up where you're a good fit" for PNMs at large schools. Besides the fact that it's a numbers game, the groups are too big to claim any kind of homegeneity.

But with large chapters it just increases the probability you'll 'fit' with any or most of them. The phrase is still utterly true, just not as specific as at other schools.

Most PNMs would fit into most of them, that's my point. But when someone spouts that line to a PNM who's just been cut from 12 out of 18 sororities at a competitive school after second parties, it doesn't ring true. Especially if she's in-state and in the know, she's aware that in a sorority of around 200 women, there are plenty whom she'd fit in with--and she probably already knows a bunch of them. She doesn't want or need to hear that crap about 'fits'.

I can see how at a medium or small-sized school, sororities would have "personalities" and people would clearly be able to see where they fit. That used to be true even at the big SEC schools. But...no more. Not with the massive pledge classes they have.

too true.

It's like any sort of "sympathy" statement. Sometimes it's true and sometimes it's just the speakers best attempt to make the girl feel better. Particularly since if she's in the know she knows that 6 is still good and her recruitment is far from over.

I guess I'm not sure what else you're going to say. You can state fact: You have 6 left and that's really good. Sympathy: I'm sorry that sucks, I'm sure you'll still find your home. or overreaction: They're all bitches, you don't need to be with them anyway. For some girls one or the other of the first two will work, and the 'adult' shouldn't be encouraging the latter.

Thank you, Carnation. If PNM's with six groups left (using your numbers) drop out because they have lost their early favorites, then they will probably lose their chance to be in a GLO and some GLO's will lose some great girls. A girl may be wonderful in all ways and do everything to prepare for a successful recruitment, but if most of the girls in these 150+ "top" sororities have a sister, boyfriend's sister, cousin, neighbor, friend from cheer, band, etc. coming through, it doesn't leave much room for anybody else. Yes, Drolefille, Moms need to be ready to say some or all three: 1) "You still have six great groups looking at you. Give them a chance - they are giving you one." 2) "It does suck. Put on your big girls pants and carry on if this is what you want. If you are SURE this isn't what you want, that's o.k., too. Momma loves you!" 3) "You can't do anything about those other groups (thinking to yourself: "Those rotten little heifers! How dare they cut my perfect child! I will get on my broomstick right now and go see about that!"), so look forward and focus on the groups who are interested in you." "She was/wasn't a good fit," "You will end up where you belong," ... eh, these kind of remind me of Pinto and Flounder being put back on the couch during fraternity rush.

LOL, too true!

Exactly. One sorority during my rush wasn't impressing me that greatly until Sisterhood Day and on Pref Day they blew me away... All my "favorite" chapters cut me before Pref Day. Honestly, if PNMs would give up an hour of their time to see what it's like to be an XYZ and have a little more in depth conversations with the actives, their minds would probably change. It's sad to see so many PNMs so preoccupied with their favorites and not giving another group a chance.

There will always be PNMs who care more about the groups that cut them than the ones who don't, but I think once most girls know which GLOs are interested in them, the GLOs look a lot more attractive. (Easy for me to say; I went to the most non-competitive school on the planet and was only cut by groups I didn't care about anyway.)

I didn't get dropped (also a verrrry non-competitive school...and I was coached:rolleyes:) but I went into it knowing that if I did, it wasn't necessarily because they didn't like me. My mom had already explained very well that it can be anything from your grades to who you're competing with to an in house fight (you're Suzy's rush crush and Suzy is in a fight with Sandy and Sandy makes sure you get dropped to get even with Suzy). It's hard as a recruitment counselor to convince PNM's that this stuff DOES happen, but I wish we all could because maybe it would make recruitment a little easier on everyone. Not taking it personally would make it easier to concentrate on the groups that DO want Polly PNM.

I just went through something similar to all of this with my DD. She didn't make the advanced dance team. She was bummed that she was invited to stay on the intermediate team. We had tears and she needed to "grieve" about it. When she was ready to talk I just calmly told her that dancing really wasn't her passion and reminded her of the things that bugged her about dancing. In the end she is ok with it. She was more embarrassed about not being invited.

Again, I don't think that Rho Chi's are very well trained. My niece is going to be one this fall at a competitive PAC 10 school and even she has admitted they really haven't been trained. Here is the other thing that I have learned through the years. Most women who LOVE recruitment and GET it don't become Rho Chi's. A lot of the women become Rho Chi's not because they LOVE recruitment and can help these women through the process, but because they want to get out of their work weeks and their chapter recruitment.

One last thing for what it is worth. I think women who drop out of recruitment before they attend preference parties are foolish. Why not just go? There has been more then one girl who has had their mind changed in a preference party. When I think about maximizing your options this is what I think of. Not quitting and staying until the end. If at the end of a recruitment that you have fully participated in you still are left cold then don't sign a bid card. At least you'll know you gave it every chance, right?

I was a Recruitment Counselor twice because I was a better rusher for Greek life than I was for my sorority, and because I'm one of those people that agrees that Recruitment Counselors are often not well trained...so I wanted to help change that (or at least guarantee someone on the team knew the rules backwards and forwards). Recruitment Counselors should be extremely well versed in both rules and possible situations that arise with PNM's...that would cut out so much confusion during recruitment on pretty much every campus.

I always had girls drop out of recruitment because their favorite two sororities dropped them and they were too snobby to visit the other three. It makes me so mad...not only is it unbelievably rude it's very short sighted.

I absolutely agree that in these ginormous sororities of 200+ and sometimes 250+ women, and pledge classes of 90+ almost any PNM will find a mix of sympatico sisters, frenemies, mentors, casual acquaintances, people they don't like, people they love, people they disapprove of, people they look up to, and people, frankly, they never get to know. To think there is only ONE place they "fit" is ludicrous.

(In a small campus where chapters are 20-30 members, totally different animal.)

Anyone else dying for that first, "live" recruitment story? Is Oklahoma State the first again? Go Pokes!

Nope .. per IrishPipes lovely recruitment thread, Auburn, Al is first out the gate with an 8/8 start. Oklahoma State is listed as an 8/9 start.

I have to agree. I didn't meet my BFFs during recruitment. In fact, I didn't even meet them until right before initiation. And I didn't really get to know them until spring semester. But I ddn't consider them my best friends until sophomore year. Bottom line, your collegiate sorority experience extends so much beyond recruitment week. PNMs should have faith that if they stick it out, they can have a great experience.

August 8th?! ACK! I'll be on the road!

Just got a phone call about a pnm going through at LSU. I mentioned maximizing your options, but Pretty Pretty Princess Snowflake didn't register with our Alumnae Panhellenic because she knows which groups she is interested in, and who she is sure will just love her because,ya know, she's so special - oh, I'm sure this will end well . . .

good grief! do let us know, please!

Well, ya know.......it might. :rolleyes:
That's what's so frustrating!

It's awfully late for a PNM to be hunting for recs for LSU, so why the phone-calling ? (I know you probably can't say..).

< sarcasm coating the following like oil on a pelican > I suppose the chapters that her royal highness is willing to grace with her presence are aware she's on her way, right? < /sarcasm>

Yep. The people who need to get spanked the most are sometimes the ones who get spanked the least.

I especially love those pnms who think that because my sorority is not on their campus I can do NOTHING to help them . . . 'cause it's not like I'm president of an alumnae panhellenic and LITERALLY know alumnae from 20 of the 26 NPC groups . . . and served as an advisor to two chapters . . . I'm resisting the urge to do anything nasty to Pretty Pretty Princess Snowflake. I'll report the results, for good or ill.

I believe Alabama recruitment starts August 8th as well!

She'll probably get exactly what she wants. As infuriating as it is, it often seems to work that way. Drives me crazy.

I think we know how her recruitment is going to go. <pops some popcorn>

Oh, I'm pulling out the popcorn and the barcalounger for this one.......
Sure to end well.

you are right. YAY!! 2 exciting rushes to look forward to.

She should read justamom's thread about her daughter's LSU rush and the one about the next year too. Lots off surprised PNMs...