Big girl does recruitment~
 

This welcome thread really got me down. I'm just going to lurk from now on.

The amount of credits you have accumulated (which it seems put you in at least junior status) may hold you back far more than your size 16 jeans.

This stinks for some reason...

**walking away.**

You may not want to give away so much personal information about yourself.

I think it is wonderful that you want to go through recruitment. Keep an open mind and do like you said, be prepared to be as polished and ready as possible! Good luck!

Hi Ayla - welcome to GC.

I don't know if you plan on posting anything else about yourself (or your recruitment) on this site, but I'm going to highly encourage you to edit your post and remove the very personal and detailed information you gave out. This is a public site and anyone can see the information - which means anything you post could have an effect on your recruitment as you've made it very easy for people to identify you.

That said - good luck to you during Recruitment.

I was thinking the same thing, but she may not be at a very competitive campus. I didn't want to ask since she's already said WAY too much.

Nevermind....just reread her post and see where she goes. Dang!

Is Washington one of the bed rush schools?

Good for you! Best of luck, I hope it all goes wonderfully! I don't know if your school requires recs or not, but they can't hurt, right?

Note taken about the personal information- I retracted most of it. I kind of typed it in a fluster. I will be a junior but I still have around 120-150 credits to complete due to the complexity of the bioengineering program and the way my credits transferred over. From what I've read the sororities at my school are required to let in so many upper-classmen per recruitment. I'm hoping that helps my chances. =/

Since the OP was pretty quick on the uptake and edited her post, let's all do the same with ours as well...

Actually the way upperclass quotas work is that the sororities are PERMITTED to use them for juniors et al. I don't think they can be "forced" to take upperclassmen as that would be impinging on the individual sororities' membership selection policies.

I mean if a sorority wants to take all freshmen, or all seniors for that matter...that is their personal decision and Panhellenic cannot make them do otherwise.

Ahaha- thanks! That would be much appreciated. I wasn't really thinking when I typed it up. I guess it was more a pep talk speech for me than anything else! "Come on Ayla- you've done all this! You can handle a few girls judging you for a week..."

I've heard that (98%?) of girls who optimize their options (which I will be doing) receive a bid at my school. I'm not so sure of those statistics- but I'm going to at least enjoy the rush. =)

I still want to know what her jeans size has to do with her grades and getting into a sorority.

If you are determined not to let your size hold you back, what is the point of this thread?

I think one would need to be blind to see how a big waist line can hold someone back from getting into a sorority. While lurking I found a thread that talked about how overweight girls get cut heavily during recruitment. I figured mentioning it would spark some conversation. =)

Men, you never understand ;)

For some sororities, it's pretty damn important. She has a point.

So true! Sure it's a little off from a typical introduction thread- but it makes the ensuing conversation that much better!

EDIT
I found this archive while searching about upperclassmen quotas: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/ar...p/t-96742.html

It sounds like, because I'm from a school with an upperclassman quota, I won't be cut purely for being a junior? Perhaps I am interpreting this wrong?

A lot of it will depend on the university that you are going to as well. The more competative the Greek system the more likely you will be cut for ANY reason, and no one here or there will tell you why. The selection process is different for each group, and can be different for each chapter within a group. Remember to be geniune and friendly, and don't judge the groups until you get to know them. Back a million years ago when I was an active, I would advise girls to go through just to meet people. If you got a bid, great, if not, great. You could end up meeting a lot of friends and making contacts just through the experience.

You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, but remember that getting into a sorority is not everything. It doesn't define you and shouldn't be a defining factor on your self worth either. If you get a bid or if you don't, get involved in other groups, too. Join a service organization or other clubs and meet people, Greek and Non-Greek. There is so much to the college experience, just remember that being Greek is only one part of the fraction!

And good luck! I hope you continue to post on this board.

But...you went though that big exposition about all of this school credit you have and then end it with ...

"I've never let my size 16 jeans hold me back from doing anything else before, and I'm not going to let them start controlling my life now."

SERIOUSLY?


sigh.

If they aint feeding financing or fucking you why worry?
How is getting into a sorority and your size going to dictate your life?

I just don't get it.

Daemon- I would have said the same thing if I had a disability. It's a part of who I am. It's not attractive to most people. You might think women don't care how other women look, but the sad truth is that they do. This is the biggest (haha- pun intended) thing holding me back from joining a sorority.

Summer- I love your advice. That is exactly how I'm looking at this, a chance to meet people. I've been living in the dorms this summer while completing a summer course and I've met barely anyone. Even if I don't get accepted into a sorority, I'm going to have a fun week getting to know a bunch of girls, who I can hopefully stay friends with after recruitment ends. =)

But do YOU care how you look are you happy with you in the morning when you look in the mirror?

I have horrible self esteem, so no. I wish I could say yes, I wish I could think I'm beautiful. But deep down I don't see myself that way. I know I have other redeeming qualities though, those are what keep me going. =)

Quite frankly...if you have horrible self esteem, then you need to see someone professional and not expect GC to help you work through it.

This is the last place you want to come to and drop your info like this and do not be surprised if others come behind me and tell you the same.

You can still be cut for being a junior. All things being equal, chapters tend to prefer freshman because they will have more years available to devote to the chapter. Some chapters may elect to take only freshman pledge classes.

But having a separate quota for upperclassman does give you a better chance of getting a bid.

It's impossible to predict how your recruitment will go. Some juniors have dream recruitments. OTOH, don't be surprised if you hit a few more bumps in the recruitment road than your freshman compatriots. Just keep an open mind to all the chapters and enjoy your parties. Don't take the cuts personally. Just keep your chin up and keep at it. Everything will sort itself out in the end.

Your best asset in Recruitment is that you believe in who you are as a person and have faith and confidence in yourself. Self esteem is also important and comes along with these things. Just take the time until you take your first step into Recruitment making sure you are confident in yourself!

Hope that helps, I know it sounds silly, but it makes you a stronger woman.

Assuming the poster is for real, and the OP seemed more than a bit 'canned' to me, she doesn't need you to refer her to counseling.

If she's aware of her own self-esteem issues, you can presume she's working through them on her own. She didn't actually ask us to work her through it.

Anyway, I just want to say that I think the OP's concerns are more related to the self-esteem unless her campus has a very specific sorority image. That happens, but it's not universal. But I think many of the PNMs here have a variety of concerns that relate more to their self-esteem than to reality. And, it's ok, you get through it.

Go through recruitment, enjoy yourself, see what happens.

This thread still stinks.

Lol Daemon. I really don't have the energy or drive to fight an online battle. I have given you plenty of responses to your questions. I would prefer if you did not make negative comments about me or this thread anymore.

It also depends on whether "upperclassmen" means sophomores and up or juniors and up. At any rate, you shouldn't be of the mind that "class status won't matter because of the upperclass quota."

I haven't made any negative comments about you...yet.

I am just trying to keep it real because I can't help it if your OP just feels.....off.

Again, if you are indeed real, don't let what others think of you keep you from living your life.

If you are this way about joining a sorority then this mode of thinking won't help you once you join us in the real world.

You think about what's best for you and focus on that...good night.

I know the biggest thing working against me is my weight, next is my status. I don't think I won't be cut because of the upperclassmen quota- I just hope it works in my favor. I'm trying not to focus on the aspects that can get me cut- rather the aspects that keep me in the game.

I understand that being a junior isn't the ideal standing for me, but I can't change that. If I get cut from all houses after the first round, then so be it. But I'm not leaving without putting my all into it.

For some reason these posts have me really down. Which is very silly.

I know at my school, a few sororities pride on not really discriminating on looks. They focus on if you're a good fit for a sisterhood or not. In all honestly, the couple of sororities that do that, do VERY well all round.


At my college a few sororities focus less on the 'looks.' In all honesty, they do VERY well with GPA, volunteering and have an amazing bond. I think you just need to find the house that best fits you. I don't think you'd want to be in a sisterhood that would be sort of fake. Rush and find a good fit.

No, you're assuming that it's your weight. Again this might be related to your own self esteem issues. Your status probably has more of a negative weight to it, even with upperclassmen quotas. I can tell you I've never heard any of my sorority sisters express that they wouldn't want to be someone's sister due to her weight. But I don't want to edge close to anything that gets too close to membership selection.

I support you going through and giving it your all. Go for it. But don't hang on to "my weight is a disadvantage." If you're confident and composed you'll be giving yourself your own best shot. If you're uncomfortable and uncertain, you'll show it and that will hurt you more than size 16 jeans.

Which really aren't that big.

Thebigghost- You're exactly right. I don't want to be around girls who are fake. If I get accepted to a sorority it will be one that sees me for me. That being said- I'm headed back to the dorms and catching some good sleep before class tomorrow. Thank you everyone for your input and I hope you have a nice night!

While I do think you sound like a real PNM, I do have to argue that weight is not your biggest issue. I went through recruitment at a competitive campus surrounded by little, petite bombshells and I'm proud to say that even in my 12-14 ish size, I was extended a bid to my first choice. However, I was also a freshman when I went through recruitment. You're upperclass standing will definitely have the biggest impact on whether or not you are cut from chapters, but it sounds like you do have a lot to offer, including a few more years in school. Make sure you let girls know that you do have more than two years left in school, if that is the case, rather dwelling on your waist size.

Carynie- I appreciate your input. I do know very little about greek life- so there's a very good chance I am focusing on the wrong negative aspect. I will make sure to express that I have at least 3-4 years left before graduation when I go through recruitment. I was completely unaware that being a junior would hurt my chances so severely.

If you were at a small school with a more lowkey Greek life, it might not. However, at your competitive campus, it probably will. Not saying it's insurmountable, but it definitely is a large factor.

I will share what I know from my experiences at both a small private university where a large part of the student population goes greek and also at a very competitive SEC school.

At the small private U - your weight issue may hinder you from certain orgs, but not all orgs. Some definitely place a large factor on appearance and weight is a big part. Since less females go through each house weight is something that will be noticed. Your class standing will play a part, but it will not keep you from finding a home. I want to add at this small, private U majority freshmen do go through recruitment though. Most students would have pledged their first year.

At the competitve SEC school - weight will truly hurt you in countless houses, but you will never know if you were denied an invite back due to weight or class standing as the standing plays a large part as well. It is a crap shoot.

Honestly, you just have to try and when all is said and done you will never know why you were cut anywhere. It is the same for another pnm who is thin or a sophomore going through recruitment. They will never know the reason(s) why they were cut. Keep in mind it takes just one house and one invite! It is not impossible. I wish you much luck!

There will likely be chapters on your campus that highly consider appearance. You will not know if that is the reason you would be cut from those chapters, or if you would be cut at all. You, and every other PNM should keep an open mind to all chapters, because happiness can likely be found in all or most of them.