Help! Sig Ep Lavaliere!!!!
 

Hi there All!
My boyfriend is a Sig Ep Alum, but I'm still in school. We've been contemplating the whole lavaliere idea, but he's been out of school and where he went, they really didn't hold much importance to lavaliering your girl friend. On my campus, it's a very special thing for every sorority girl.

Our question, does Sig Ep do anything special when a lavaliere is given? Ceremony? Song? Poem?

Thanks!

If you are asking about what HIS chapter would do, I would say it would depend on the chapter.

I don't know about Sig Ep but I assume all groups do something special for their brothers. My bf was an ATO alum and he lavaliered me. It meant a lot to me - candlelights are always special! But ATO did not do anything because he was an alum. So I hope your bf takes the next step!!

Check your PM. :)

There are two things involved here ~ what your boyfriend's fraternity does, and what your sorority does.

I don't know what Sig Ep does ~ as I've never dated a Sig Ep ~ nor have I ever been lavaliered by an active member of any fraternity. What the local Sig Ep chapter does (if applicable) is really up to them. Your boyfriend should inquire with the local collegiate chapter, or if none, with the local alum chapter. If they don't want to do anything, I would suggest your bf just buy the lavalier and present it to you.

As for your sorority ~ I can only share my story. My husband is an independent. He learned about the lavaliering ritual, but since he is not a member of a fraternity, he couldn't "lavalier" me in the traditional sense. Instead, he chose a pendant, a little gold heart, and gave that to me as a "lavalier". My sorority then held a formal candle-lighting ceremony for me, just as if I had been lavaliered by a fraternity member. (BTW, I was my chapter's ritualist at the time ~ so saying "guess what, we're lavaliering someone tonight" held a lot of weight ;) )

Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mother has my father's Sig Ep pin (probably a big "no no"). Let us know what happens! :D

In my chapter, Alaska Alpha, we don't do lavaliering. If the couple is really serious we do pinning. We have a public ritual in the ritual book for it and your boyfriend presents you with his badge. This is taken very seriously. I am actually pinning my girlfriend next week and am really excited about it....

AWW! :)

From this post, it sounds as if lavaliering and pinning are two separate things. I'm assuming lavaliering involves lavaliers and pinning involves the pin allowed for sweethearts, etc? Is there any other significant difference between the two?

in my day, lavaliering was akin to "going steady", pinning was pre-engagement, and of course, an engagement ring meant a trip up the aisle.

in our candlelight circle, once around was for lavaliering, twice around was for pinning and if we made it to three times around, it was really exciting!!

:eek:

Lavaliering comes before pinning. Pinning is where you give the girl your actual fraternity pin, not a sweetheart pin (whatever that is).

Pinning is way more hardcore than lavaliering.

That depends on if the chapter even does pinning; mine did not (as most of the chapter didn't even own a badge). For us, lavaliering = pinning = pre-engagement.

lavalier was all we had....if I had lavaliered a girl, and wanted to take to the next "level" I would have given her my pledge button (what we call pin)

I think that's the "traditional" way it works(ed) -- at least back when I was in school.

This is how we did it in my day too! A box of candy, a note and a candle were anonymously delivered to the house - -usually to the chapter president or the house mother. After dinner, there was a joint meeting with the pledges and collegiates (yes we were still pledges in those days). At some point in time, the President was given the note, candle and candy by the housemother if she did not get it herself. We would make a huge circle, the note would be read, the candle would go around and then would be blown out at some point depending on whether it was a laveliering, pining or engagement.

At one of our formal dances there was the candy, candle and note so we did the circle at that time. Our dates were part of the circle. When it went around the 3rd time, one girl's bf blew out the candle and proposed right there! Was really romantic and thankfully for him, she did say yes.

DaffyKD

sweetheart pins
 

From what I know, a sweetheart pin is a jewelry piece designed to be given to a designated sweetheart, much in the same way she might be given flowers or a spa gift certificate - as either a "thank you" or a "congratulations", depending on the sweetheart tradition and role of the sweetheart in the given chapter. I don't think all organizations have them, but many do... the Delta Tau Delta one, for instance, is a modified version of the brothers' membership badge, with some symbols and turned on a diagonal to differentiate it. I know KA order also has one, and many organizations also offer them in some sort of necklace form... you can check them out at http://www.hjgreek.com ... just look for your organization, and then it's usually under "sweetheart / gifts". Very different from lavaliering or pinning.

Regarding the original post:

I don't know a whole lot about laveliering b/c it wasn't a big deal at all on my campus (at least while I was there.. things might have changed in the last 2 yrs).

And of course this is my own opinion...... so, with that said, I realize how exciting it is to have a candle passing and how laveliering might be a "big deal" but the OP is talking about it like she's about to get married to the guy or something. Is that something couples seriously talk about before laveliering?

I always thought it was more on the guy - i.e. I really like this girl, and I can see myself with her for a really long time, so I'm gonna give her a lavelier or whatever.

My campus wasn't very "traditional" in that sort of way, so it is obviously different at diff. schools.

I can totally understand having a serious talk w/ the SO before an engagement happened... but ummm... it's a necklace not a ring. Just curious how it is on other campuses.


Regarding the Sweetheart pins/laveliers: At my 1st campus, the only women who were allowed to wear the special laveliers with the fraternity's letters were the elected Sweethearts... not just any ole girlfriend of ABC or XYZ. The elected sweethearts were generally women who helped out the chapter in different ways. Many of them were girlfriends, but not all of them were.

Anyway.. just my thoughts.

I got lavaliered, but here the guys almost never do it. My boyfriend just did it. If he can't find anything out from his brothers, he should just do it anyway. But as I understand it different chapters have different traditions.

My fraternity (Alpha Delt) does not allow the badge to be worn by any non-member(and not visibly at all) but we have a smaller copy that is the same otherwise, and that is often used as a "pinning" badge. BTW for us, a pin is what a pledge wears(yes, we still call them pledges, athough we do refer to "new member education" to administrators) and badge is what a brother wears. And of course, most of the original social fraternities like ours had watch key badges.