Rush...superficial?
 

I have spoke to a number of people about sorority rush and it seems that a lot of people think that it is superficial and looks based, so I am just wondering if that is true from the point of view of those who are actually in the Greek system. I am asking because I am not sure why I hear this since every sorority or fraternity member that I have had the chance to talk to, all seemed very nice and sweet to me.

If it was truly superficial, PNMs would line up and we would pick out based on looks instead of talking to the girls.

It is definately not based on looks, but showing that you care about your appearance means a lot. GPA, community and campus involvement, and your personality mean just as much though.

I look at rush the same way I look at people applying to schools or for a job. Sure, many schools look at the numbers but, they also look at the whole person. If you have school activities, community service, possibly a job while in high school, etc. then you may have a chance of getting into the right school for you! It isn't just about your SAT score and your high school GPA. The same goes for job searches. Sure, they may want you to interview based on the great named school on your resume or the various activities you were involved with but, if you are a complete tool when they interview you, chances are they won't hire you. The same applies to rush. Your looks may be a great way to get in the door (so to speak) but, if you have a horrible GPA or attitude, many chapters won't want to bother with you. Would you befriend someone because she was attractive if she was a complete bitch to people? Probably not!

Good luck!

It's superficial in the sense that we're only getting to know you for a week before bids are extended. And we're getting to know X number of other people all at once.

But it's not superficial in that we're looking for your personality, extracurricular activities, GPA etc.

Speaking of GPAs.. what is considered a good one? Right now my college GPA is 3.25.

Depends on the chapter. Most if not all GLOs have a minimum GPA that you need to meet to join, individual chapters may have a higher GPA that is their goal or minimum requirement, and some campuses may have set a GPA goal or requirement as well.

3.25 is probably fine

Chapters are individual groups, keep that in mind. But recruitment is similar to a job interview in that you present yourself in the best possible light and hope that is what the employer (or in this case, chapter) is looking for. I would hazard a guess that in some cases looks matter more than in others. But being well groomed, well spoken, and pleasant are probably more important than just being pretty. These chapters only have a few days to pick new sisters...and the PNM's only have a few days to pick their future chapter. So by nature it's a little shallow on both sides. It's like dating...you date to find out who you fit best with, and a relationship follows. When you first start dating someone it isn't because they know the inner you, it's because something about you caught their eye and sparked their interest. Both sisters and PNM's have to make judgments quickly without REALLY knowing each other.

Put it this way, when you apply for a "grown-up" job, is it possible that someone slightly less qualified will get hired because they look a certain way and you don't. Yeah, it's possible. But it's more likely that if you have a good resume, fit in at the company, dress appropriately and remain pleasant you'll be the one that gets the job.

So if its not about looks, then let me pose this hypothetical...

Two girls rush at the same time, have stellar GPAs, involvement, etc etc.The only difference s that one has fashion model good looks and the other is not attractive and overweight, albeit well groomed. Can you honestly say that they have an equal shot at getting in their "dream" sorority?

Just keeping it real here

It depends on the school, I'm sure. On my campus the make it or break it would be which one was more fun to be around, mostly because the Greek system is small and not as competitive as systems at other schools. Our chapters are small and even if a girl is super hot, if she's a whiny bitch and the girl who is a little overweight is the life of the party, super-hot-girl will probably lose out on the bid. But that's not the case on every campus. During Recruitments where chapters are rushing hundreds of girls a day, it would stand to reason that personality is a little less important...how do you gauge a personality when you have to meet that many girls?

Exactly my point. With hundreds, or even more than a thousand girls coming through in a day and only meeting girls for a few minutes, how can you really judge personality and fit? It's only natural, all other things being equal, to judge by looks. I'm not saying it's wrong to take looks into account, I just think we need to be honest here.

But looks aren't the only wild card here.

In your example, what if the hot chick with the stellar resume also has a reputation for being a slore?

Or the hot chick is a Lesbian.

Or she's a known atheist.

Looks are certainly part of anything for which you're being selected, but there are other intangibles which you may never know had an impact on someone's selection.

I'm more amused that some NPCers seriously answered the question. :) Aren't there similar threads that PNMs could read? I thought there were.

Yes, RussianChick should give this thread a read:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ght=appearance

I am sure that there are similar threads on almost every topic but even though that is so let the new ones be. There will always be repeats; if you find them annoying then simply do not reply and move on to something that interests you more. There is no need to always point out the fact that similar post exist. Of course they do, this is not a new site.

There is no need to be rude.

Many things are not original, there are a lot of repeats in everything. But oh well.. we are getting away from the topic so lets just move on.

You're right, there's not.

On the other hand the thread KSUViolet found is very informative...hopefully you found this thread and the one that's been linked helpful.

How much will I be judged on appearances?

Focusing on looks?

So as you can see this has been discussed quite a bit.

The link was actually interesting to read but I am not wondering how much I will be judged on my looks, I am wondering where people get the idea that rush and Greek members in general are superficial. I am wondering because every person who I have met who was part of something was never mean or rude to me or made me think that I was being judged on how I look.

Honestly these kind of rumors you would generally speaking only hear from the non-Greek. Who knows how they are started or perpetuated.

Because everyone stereotypes everyone else. It's human nature. Why are cheerleaders in high school called stuck-up b*tches? Why are football players called dumb jocks? Why are all smart people called nerds? It's always been that way, and the people who aren't morons know that you can't lump everyone in a little box with a label on it. Yes, there are some Greeks who are pretty superficial, but there are thousands of Greeks throughout the US and Canada, so to call them all superficial is beyond ridiculous. If that doesn't answer your questions, you are just spoiling for a fight.

Let's not forget the schools and chapters where being from XYZ High School or being Suzy Wellknownlastname trumps ALL those things, most especially looks. Fortunately that's not the norm everywhere, but there are certainly times where the girl who looks like 200 miles of bad road is going to cruise to any house she wants.

Honestly, why would a PNM be concerned with why people think what they think?

Plenty of people are, particularly 18 year old women going to a new environment. It's not a shocking concept even if you hold it in poor regard.

You didn't answer my question.

"it's a normal common part of the human condition"

I didn't think you really wanted one.

Thanks for your opinion.

I wasn't making a "statement of poor regard."

She's not 18 anyways. But, since the OP is coming from Russia, she may think that you have to be a certain way in order to be in a fraternity or sorority. OP, hopefully, since you've read these threads that have been posted in years past, you will see that everyone has a different personality. In one sorority on one college campus alone, you may have a few people who are focused on looks, a few focused on grades, a few focused on partying, and a few focused on Harry Potter or the color blue or playing with LEGOs. My point is, the simple answer to your question is no. Sororities are not completely superficial.

That being said, do not show up to rush wearing dirty jeans and an old t-shirt. Look nice, be positive, and start your day with a smile. Your personality will be more important than the way you look, anyways. Don't worry about not looking like a model. If you're confident and friendly, that will go much further than if you have this season's Gucci purse.

Actaully, "looks" do matter - but not the kind you are talking about. If you are the most beautiful girl going thru but don't stand up straight, can't look someone in the eye while talking with them, can't form a complete sentence and are sloppily dressed, you aren't going to make it. However, if you are more on the plain side but stand erect, look confident, talk sincerely with the women you meet and have a pleasant demeaner, you'll go very far!

Exactly as I was saying. Could you imagine us saying that looks don't really matter, as long as you're confident and look nice and you're friendly, and then the PNM shows up in ripped jeans, Crocs, and a dingy "Frankie Says Relax" t-shirt? I'd certainly be amused. :)

Nicely put.

The average chapter GPA at Arizona is close to a 3.1. GPA is a very big deal here. Coming in as a community college transfer, a 3.25 isn't very impressive especially since you'll be competing with lots of freshmen who have nearly perfect hs grades. I don't mean that in a nasty way, but it is what it is.

Yes, recruitment is superficial in many respects. IMHO it is impossible to get to know a complete stranger in only a couple of short parties but we do our best based on what we learn about people in the information they provide beforehand plus when we meet them. Many girls already know a lot of members, so that helps a lot. The only thing you can do is make sure you get recs, have an impressive application and resume, be yourself and make a good impression during the parties.

Oh, and don't do anything dumb beforehand. You don't want to be known as "that Russian chick who got so drunk at the fraternity party that she ____"

People are getting the idea that Greek members are superficial through an exploitation of stereotypes...just like the stereotype that all Russians drink vodka 24/7. I do not, for one minute believe that is true, but there it is.

Where did it start? Why? Who knows. Just like all stereotypes and prejudice, you must not let that influence your opinion. If your experience has been positive, then focus on being a person who spreads the truth and not the prejudice.

Also, IMO, anytime there is a competitiion for something (job interviews, club membership, invitation to join a society) those who did not get chosen tend to insult and belittle those who did. That is where I think a large part of this stereotype came from.

QFP, just because...

I am very familiar with the University of Arizona recruitment process (as are two other posters on GC). Grades are Very Important and there is a healthy competition for incoming PNMs with stellar GPAs. All the houses want to be first in scholarship. Yes, appearance is important. And there is a strong preference for freshmen, although it is not unheard of for sophomores and the occasional junior to receive bids. Typically those bids go to women who are already known by the chapters. The age discrepancy b/w this PNM and the typical PNMs is significant and may negatively impact her invitations, especially in the early rounds when heavy cuts are made, due to RFM.