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-   -   Want to be married by the age of 30? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=113910)

CBB 05-25-2010 06:13 PM

Want to be married by the age of 30?
 
Is there anyone out there that wants to be married by the age of 30... i mean people who are 25 - 29 years old. Who wants to tie the knot by the time you are the big 3-0?

For example, you are still the only single person out of all your friends.

knight_shadow 05-25-2010 06:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBB (Post 1934658)
Is there anyone out there that wants to be married by the age of 30... i mean people who are 25 - 29 years old. Who wants to tie the knot by the time you are the big 3-0?

For example, you are still the only single person out of all your friends.

Nope. No one.

And LOL @ the "for example" :rolleyes:

Drolefille 05-25-2010 06:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBB (Post 1934658)
Is there anyone out there that wants to be married by the age of 30... i mean people who are 25 - 29 years old. Who wants to tie the knot by the time you are the big 3-0?

For example, you are still the only single person out of all your friends.

Setting a goal that I cannot achieve by myself and tying it to an arbitrary number as well as basing my life on that of my friends is a depressing way to go through life.

dreamseeker 05-25-2010 06:20 PM

i'm getting yougc vibes.

Drolefille 05-25-2010 06:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dreamseeker (Post 1934672)
i'm getting yougc vibes.

Good call.

KSUViolet06 05-25-2010 06:24 PM

I'm 26 and far from being the only single person of all my friends. Yes, there are alot of peeps in my friend group getting married (in the 25-30 range,) but there are still more of us who are single than married.

You need to do things in your own time frame. Yes, you might be the only single person of all you friends, but you can't very well force it and run out and marry the next guy you date, just to meet your goal.

Setting arbirary goals and basing them on the lives of others is really dumb and you're going to be unhappy as long as you do that.

ree-Xi 05-25-2010 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBB (Post 1934658)
Is there anyone out there that wants to be married by the age of 30... i mean people who are 25 - 29 years old. Who wants to tie the knot by the time you are the big 3-0?

For example, you are still the only single person out of all your friends.

If so, we're looking for people desperate to tie the knot by the Big 3-0! Just send your name, email address, telephone number and town, and why you absolutely must be married by your 30th birthday! Join our new reality show!

Drolefille 05-25-2010 06:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 1934687)
If so, we're looking for people desperate to tie the knot by the Big 3-0! Just send your name, email address, telephone number and town, and why you absolutely must be married by your 30th birthday! Join our new reality show!

That's where my brain went when I saw how the question was phrased.

33girl 05-25-2010 06:27 PM

I bet the OP is going to show us a site where we can go to find lovely ladies to marry us.

NinjaPoodle 05-25-2010 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1934690)
I bet the OP is going to show us a site where we can go to find lovely ladies to marry us.

Ooooooo, I wanna see.:rolleyes:

Xidelt 05-25-2010 08:42 PM

www.mydaughterwantsagreencard.com or www.imakebabiesforcitizenship.com

desea318 05-25-2010 08:50 PM

This is a funny but interesting forum to read... I am not in the 26-29 range but I do want to be married by the time I am 30. I have many brothers and sisters who are in the range who are not married or dating anyone but there are a few who are married. I personally want to be married by 30 because I want to settle and have a serious life. I think it is impossible to have a serious relationship as an undergrad and if it happens I will be so happy! but until then my goal is to hopefully meet someone between now and finishing my master's degree and get married before i turn 30. =]

aephi alum 05-25-2010 10:01 PM

Raise your hand if you'd marry some random person off the street the day before your 30th birthday just to be able to say you got married before you were 30.

*crickets*

It's not like you FAIL AT LIFE if you haven't gotten married by a certain age or haven't had a baby by a certain age or haven't bought a house by a certain age. :rolleyes: If you're closing in on 30 and you haven't met the right person, there is no need to marry some loser just to put a check mark next to the "got married by 30" line item in the life script. Plenty of people get married after 30, and plenty of people never marry at all.

It's your life. Do what's right for YOU.

christiangirl 05-25-2010 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 1934687)
If so, we're looking for people desperate to tie the knot by the Big 3-0! Just send your name, email address, telephone number and town, and why you absolutely must be married by your 30th birthday! Join our new reality show!

Don't forget the application fee which can be made in 3 easy payments of $39.99. :cool:

1stSoon2BePhD 05-25-2010 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CBB (Post 1934658)
i mean people who are 25 - 29 years old.

Lol @ the 29-year-old who is scrambling to get married in less than a year!

jennyj87 05-26-2010 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aephi alum (Post 1934798)
It's your life. Do what's right for YOU.

I have to tell myself that everyday since I'm never graduating college. But this brings up an interesting discussion.
Out of all my friends in high school versus college, it seems my greek life friends are getting married a lot sooner than my nongreek life friends.

True/false?

But other factors are there too. I'm now in the "south" so apparently you guys get married younger down here? Which I have noticed a lot more people in my classes getting married than ones up north who I went to HS with.

baci 05-26-2010 09:16 AM

If the OP is going to link a dating website that is one thing, but if not I see nothing wrong with the question.

I have been through this time period and I can share what I feel.

Yes, it is your life and you do have to do what is right for you! You should not feel pressure to marry because everyone you know is marrying. I also think it is perfectly fine to want to marry at this point and I see nothing wrong with it.

I was one of those people single and 30. Then, 30 passed me by. I did want to get married, but it was not time for me and I had not met the right person. Would I have wanted to marry by then? Absolutely! It was just not something I could control myself.

There are many benefits to marrying younger and beginning a family if you are committed to the one you are with. It also wouldn't hurt if you have your life in order for this to run a tiny bit smoother as well. It will never be perfect, but there are things to hopefully accomplish and have in order before you walk down the aisle.

It would be silly to think how it would be for me to have married younger and have had all of my children younger, but I am wise enough to know some of it would definitely be easier than it is now. There are some pluses just as there are tougher spots. Isn't that with everything in life?

Try not to stress as it happens when it will happen. You will be fine.

DaemonSeid 05-26-2010 09:54 AM

Logan's Run anyone?

AnotherKD 05-26-2010 10:59 AM

You know, one of my best friends is going through this. She'll turn 30 in just over a year and would like to be married when she's "30-ish". That being said, she has her expectations set a bit high. I love her and she was the maid of honor at my wedding, but she says she hasn't had a boyfriend in 6 years (we're including anyone she's been out with more than once- in 6 YEARS!) because she can't find what she's looking for.

She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....

DrPhil 05-26-2010 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD (Post 1934970)
She's overweight and average-looking

Hahah...sorry....

AnotherKD 05-26-2010 11:31 AM

Just trying to be honest. I've known her for years and I love her for who she is, looking past the psoriasis on her face and what she has acknowledged to be her extra 75 pounds. I'd love to help her, but she won't go out with anyone I set her up with and just complains about not being able to find anyone. I think she just doesn't try. She's hilarious and a lot of fun to be around.

ree-Xi 05-26-2010 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baci (Post 1934939)
If the OP is going to link a dating website that is one thing, but if not I see nothing wrong with the question.

Quote:

Originally Posted by desea318 (Post 1934777)
This is a funny but interesting forum to read... I am not in the 26-29 range but I do want to be married by the time I am 30. I have many brothers and sisters who are in the range who are not married or dating anyone but there are a few who are married. I personally want to be married by 30 because I want to settle and have a serious life. I think it is impossible to have a serious relationship as an undergrad and if it happens I will be so happy! but until then my goal is to hopefully meet someone between now and finishing my master's degree and get married before i turn 30. =]


Signs that the OP may have ulterior motives:

1. New poster.
2. First post. Asks off-topic question.
3. No expressed connection to Greek Life.
4. Another new user posts (same registration day) their first post ever, answering the question. Only reference to the purpose/topic of the site is a general "this a funny but interesting forum".
5. The question sounds like so many marketing/surverys/research requests we have had before.

If they are for real, then I was wrong. No big deal.

Drolefille 05-26-2010 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ree-Xi (Post 1935016)
Signs that the OP may have ulterior motives:

1. New poster.
2. First post. Asks off-topic question.
3. No expressed connection to Greek Life.
4. Another new user posts (same registration day) their first post ever, answering the question. Only reference to the purpose/topic of the site is a general "this a funny but interesting forum".
5. The question sounds like so many marketing/surverys/research requests we have had before.

If they are for real, then I was wrong. No big deal.

6. OP doesn't come back.

DaemonSeid 05-26-2010 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD (Post 1934970)

She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....


Hand her a mirror...


And then you reminded me of this...

BluPhire 05-26-2010 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid (Post 1935019)
Hand her a mirror...


And then you reminded me of this...

You beat me to it.

She has high expectations for somebody who isn't so high on the expectation ladder herself.

33girl 05-26-2010 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD (Post 1934996)
Just trying to be honest. I've known her for years and I love her for who she is, looking past the psoriasis on her face and what she has acknowledged to be her extra 75 pounds. I'd love to help her, but she won't go out with anyone I set her up with and just complains about not being able to find anyone. I think she just doesn't try. She's hilarious and a lot of fun to be around.

Or else she's been so hurt in the past that it's easier to shoot them down before they do it to her. Her "hilariousness" is just covering that up.

Try helping her with the things that CAN be fixed - like finding a good dermatologist and going to the gym or on a diet with her - instead of just throwing weiners at the problem. She has to love herself before she can love anyone else. Any boyfriend she'd get at this point in her life would probably be a mental abuser who preyed on her self-doubt.

Drolefille 05-26-2010 12:41 PM

I will now giggle about throwing weiners at the problem.

honeychile 05-26-2010 01:04 PM

I know so many women who turned 29 and absolutely freaked out because they weren't married. Almost every one of them who married the next warm body who came along is now divorced.

I blame the whole biological clock bit. I was only 21 the first time I heard, "Better get going - there's only so many years you have for children!" I don't think I even knew anyone at 21 with whom I would want to spend the rest of my life!

honeychile 05-26-2010 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1935046)
Any boyfriend she'd get at this point in her life would probably be a mental abuser who preyed on her self-doubt.

Which is why so many of my 29 year old friends divorced!

AGDee 05-26-2010 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD (Post 1934970)
You know, one of my best friends is going through this. She'll turn 30 in just over a year and would like to be married when she's "30-ish". That being said, she has her expectations set a bit high. I love her and she was the maid of honor at my wedding, but she says she hasn't had a boyfriend in 6 years (we're including anyone she's been out with more than once- in 6 YEARS!) because she can't find what she's looking for.

She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....

My friend who was like that finally came out of the closet after over a decade of finding some picayune thing wrong with every man who was interested in her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1935046)
Or else she's been so hurt in the past that it's easier to shoot them down before they do it to her. Her "hilariousness" is just covering that up.

Try helping her with the things that CAN be fixed - like finding a good dermatologist and going to the gym or on a diet with her - instead of just throwing weiners at the problem. She has to love herself before she can love anyone else. Any boyfriend she'd get at this point in her life would probably be a mental abuser who preyed on her self-doubt.

Agree with this too.

Munchkin03 05-26-2010 03:16 PM

Or else she really isn't ready to settle down with someone and is subconsciously coming up with "dealbreakers."

PeppyGPhiB 05-26-2010 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnotherKD (Post 1934970)
She's overweight and average-looking, but I think she is a fantastic person to be around. She refuses to go online for a date and she just complains that she can't meet anyone that fulfills her qualifications of being "tall, built, a gorgeous face, and smart with a good job". I mean, she will summarily dismiss someone she sees, saying things like "No, I don't want to go and say hi, his nose looks a little crooked" or "He's drinking dark beer, ew!" I'm trying to figure out a way to tactfully say that she should lower her expectations a bit.....

I could find a gazillion guys that do this, yet women are expected to meet their crazy expectations rather than the men lower theirs. I'm so tired of hearing guys point out a woman with a lovely body as "fat!" or a woman with a pretty face as "So not cute!" or "Just OK." Really guys? You, the average-at-best looking sales guy think you "deserve" a Victoria's Secret model? Example: the other day we were over at some friends' house and The Hand that Rocks the Cradle was on TV. One of the guys commented that he thought Rebecca De Mornay was ugly. If you think Rebecca De Mornay is in any way ugly, you have issues.
http://www.palzoo.net/file/pic/user/RebeccaDeMornay.jpg

DrPhil 05-26-2010 03:40 PM

There's no universal beauty, but I think SHE is beautiful.

VandalSquirrel 05-26-2010 03:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jennyj87 (Post 1934861)
I have to tell myself that everyday since I'm never graduating college. But this brings up an interesting discussion.
Out of all my friends in high school versus college, it seems my greek life friends are getting married a lot sooner than my nongreek life friends.

True/false?

But other factors are there too. I'm now in the "south" so apparently you guys get married younger down here? Which I have noticed a lot more people in my classes getting married than ones up north who I went to HS with.

I had no idea people of average college age (18-22) got married in college, then I moved to Idaho and it is normal here. A majority of these kids are Mormons or super conservative Christians, so you have a short engagement and get married to have babies ASAP, and the wedding usually happens after the man gets back from his mission. They finish college and if he goes to graduate school she supports him and if they don't already have kids she stops any outside of the home work when the baby comes. It still freaks me out, who would want to be married in college? A lot of the amazing stuff I did couldn't have happened with a spouse or kids.

Sure there are older non-trads who are in school and married, but marriage before you can buy alcohol, rent a car, or buy a handgun seems so lame and foreign to me.

PeppyGPhiB 05-26-2010 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrPhil (Post 1935224)
There's no universal beauty, but I think SHE is beautiful.

Right, we all have different tastes, but C'MON!

VandalSquirrel 05-26-2010 03:54 PM

Hell no! it would ruin my current look of spinster with two cats who also knits and is considering a professional graduate degree in librarianship.

That reminds me, time to get an eye exam for some new cat eye glasses and I need a haircut because my bun is just getting unruly.

KSUViolet06 05-26-2010 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel (Post 1935238)
Hell no! it would ruin my current look of spinster with two cats who also knits and is considering a professional graduate degree in librarianship.

That reminds me, time to get an eye exam for some new cat eye glasses and I need a haircut because my bun is just getting unruly.

YES. I make cat, spinster, future Ph. D. student jokes all the time. Although I don't know if an Ed. S. to Ph. D. program in a mental health field is "spinster" enough. Think I need to keep looking.

I would tend to agree with you, there are A WHOLE LOT of really great things that woldn't have happened if I were married in undergrad.

It sounds so silly, but I think about married girls who are trying to go through recruitment and they come here for rush advice. They're headed to some of the most traditional Greek Life schools in the country and thinking they'll be able to join. Even at my kind of crazy school, chapters were not very interested in married girls. Sure they were open to some non-traditionals (maybe 23, 24, a transfer) but we were still a very traditional school with Greek housing, and chapters knew that married girls were not going to live-in.

Sure, sorority is not LIFE. But that's a part of college I for sure wouldn't have been able to experience as a married student. Married folk have to worry about what hubby is going to eat, and from 18-21 it was all T-Bell and microwaved stuff. lol.

DaemonSeid 05-26-2010 04:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB (Post 1935221)
I could find a gazillion guys that do this, yet women are expected to meet their crazy expectations rather than the men lower theirs. I'm so tired of hearing guys point out a woman with a lovely body as "fat!" or a woman with a pretty face as "So not cute!" or "Just OK." Really guys? You, the average-at-best looking sales guy think you "deserve" a Victoria's Secret model? Example: the other day we were over at some friends' house and The Hand that Rocks the Cradle was on TV. One of the guys commented that he thought Rebecca De Mornay was ugly. If you think Rebecca De Mornay is in any way ugly, you have issues.
http://www.palzoo.net/file/pic/user/RebeccaDeMornay.jpg

1000 guys may think she is fine but there will be one who can't stand her...or however that line goes, you know what I'm saying....LOL

knight_shadow 05-26-2010 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid (Post 1935254)
1000 guys may think she is fine but there will be one who can't stand her...or however that line goes, you know what I'm saying....LOL

True.

And she did look a little...off...at times during that movie. I wouldn't go as far as "ugly," but she certainly wasn't "GAATDAAAMN" fine in that movie.

Drolefille 05-26-2010 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid (Post 1935254)
1000 guys may think she is fine but there will be one who can't stand her...or however that line goes, you know what I'm saying....LOL

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/88/21...a82afcda90.jpg


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