I am going to be a______
 

Has any PNM/Rushee ever tell you that they were going to be part of your organization or another organization and what did you do about it?

I've had a lot of girls say to me, "I really love it here at ZTA. This is the only sorority I can see myself in." I just tell them to enjoy the rest of rush and keep their options open. Luckily, I have never had someone say to me, "I'm just here I Zeta cause I have to be. I actually want to be an XYZ." (knock on wood) I know other sisters have heard that. I don't know how I'd react. I'd definitely be really offended. I'd probably just smile and bite my tongue at the same time. Then, I'd quickly introduce her to another sister.

people really do have a lot of audacity
 

We had a girl that came through rush this year and went on and on to our sisters about how she was going to be an XYZ or an ABC. We kept her though for reasons I'm not going to get into. Well come skit day she has been dropped by both of her "prize" houses and she cried to one of our sisters the whole time how she didn't know what she was going to do now that she wouldn't be able to wear the other houses letters. I had to wonder why she even bothered coming to our party...or any other--she could have refused and she obviously didn't want to be there. I have no idea where she ended up.

We have gotten quite a few girls who come through and tell everyone at our party that they are going to be an AEPhi or SDT. Those are the two Jewish houses on our campus, and many girls do not feel the other options are worth a look.

AS IF...
 

There was a girl who walked around campus saying things like "WHEN I pledge ASA" and actually had the balls to break in on conversations between sisters at fraternity parties and such. Needless to say, she was not invited to join.

Oh, and we had the girl who came to our party in jeans and her boyfriend's letter sweatshirt, as if to say "I can be a b**** but you should all kiss my butt since I'm lavaliered to a PSK." She ended up being in the sorority her boyfriend was sweetheart of.

I was introduced to a freshman during my sophmore year, who , in her very inebriated state told me that she loved Chi Omega, and really wanted to be one. I didn't really know her, and didn't even remember who she was during Rush. I just thought it was funny that she already had her mind made up, and Rush wasn't starting until the next semester (at my school, freshman were only allowed to rush during their 2nd semester).

such bad manners
 

those horror stories are indeed nasty...
it begs the question, didn't your mother raise you correctly?
bad manners do not make it in the real world.
mmcat
:D :rolleyes: :eek:

There was a girl who went through last spring, and she said things like, "When I'm a tri Sigma..." which really was not cool with us. She got cut, for other reasons as well, but it just goes to show that you shouldn't get too cocky when you're going through recruitment.

We had girls come through like that. Sometimes if we just knew they were leaning one way or another we would dig in even harder to win her if she was someone we liked a lot. There was nothing we liked more than snagging someone that one of the other 2 of the big 3 wanted!!! But if someone came in with the attitude "I'm GOING to be a Chi O" she would probably get dropped unless she was best friends with like half the chapter or was someone's younger sister or something. Likewise, if someone came in with the attitude "I'm GOING to be a DG" we were like, "Yeah, good because you're not going to be a Chi O" and she was gone! I must admit it was always satisfying to find out those girls suicided and didn't get a bid, or got dropped early on and ended up somewhere else.

That's funny, DeltaBeta.....we had AEII but no jewish sororities on our campus, so Chi O kind of became the unofficial jewish house. It seemed like all of the jewish girls ended up going Chi O. I wonder if it would have been that way had we had AEPhi or one of the others.....:confused:

I'm seeing a lot of talk in this thread, about the "Jewish houses" and how people only see themselves in particular sororities because of their religious affiliation.

Let me point out that AEPhi was founded on the basis of non-discrimination. The 7 founding sisters were all Jewish, but they did not feel comfortable at the existing sororities at Barnard because all of those sororities were based on Christianity - so they formed their own sorority. My own chapter had Jewish, Catholic, Lutheran, Episcopalian, Eastern Orthodox, Hindu, and Atheist sisters, and that was only while I was an active. We do not discriminate on the basis of religion.

To address the topic at hand - if any rushee came through our rush room assuming she'd be an AEPhi just because of her religion (and this has happened) she'd be cut so fast.....

AEPhi, I hear you on that sentiment, but unfortunately some of our really big houses are predominately Jewish, so we get called a Jewish sorority. But what people don't realize is D Phi E was the first non-sectarian sorority, even if all the women were Jewish. I just think it's funny because someone says, "Oh, you're in a Jewish sorority", and there were maybe 3 Jewish girls in it the whole time I was active

Re: such bad manners
 

Willy Wonka was on earlier & I realized that your posts remind me of the Oompa Loompas. :)
________________________________________
On to the thread- My cousin did these same things during her rush.
"HeidiHo: What other orgs are on your campus?
Heidi'sCousin: I don't care, I only want to be a Chi."

She kept calling in Chi, too. It drove me batty. She ended up not being invited back & is now in another (very well respected) NPC.
Heidi

oompa loompas, eh?
 

should i burst into song at this point?
don't have any golden bars with me.
mmcat
:eek:

I'm sorry, I in no way meant to offend you if it came out that way. However, on my campus, the predominantly Jewish houses make it no secret that they want to remain that way. Of course, there are girls that get released from one or the other, but for the most part, the two houses are in stiff competition for certain women.

Many of the Jewish girls participating in recruitment are legacies to one or the other, and know many of the girls from high school. These chapters draw from the north suburbs, and everyone knows everyone else. So obviously there are no guarantees, but we have had some god-awful rushees that have been picked up by one of the Jewish houses.

North Suburbs?
 

DeltaBetaBaby, you said something about the North suburbs...of what? Chicago? I have friends from places like Highland Park and Deerfield, and yeah they're jewish (they're AEPi). But are those the types of places you're talking about? Anyway though on my campus AEPhi is the jewish house, almost all of the women are jewish, they call each other JAP's and stuff. And AEPi is the jewish frat on campus and I know for a fact that all of them are jewish. Just my two cents....

Hey there
I really have to agree with delta baby. While I am sure all campus chapters are different, I go to school in NY, we have SDT and Aephi. They refuse to let anyone into their sorority if they are not Jewish. You could be the prettiest, nicest girl ever, but if you are not a "jap" you don't have a chance. I have a lot of friends in these houses and that does not even matter.
It's funny when I read all these posts about the South going on looks, grades, personality etc. Well you girls would be very surprised at the girls up North who are cut, over ones who are picked, it is almost ridiculous.
Im not saying all Aephi or Sdt chapters are like this, but it sure is here

At my school, SDT, AEPhi, Phi Sigma Sigma and DPhiE were the "Jewish Houses." But then again, where I went to school we have a large Jewish population.

Then, in my sorority, our nationals wanted to keep those who keep kosher out of our sorority and we were beyond appalled. We had a large jewish population too buti t was never an issue. I am not jewish and nationals really offended me when they said that perhaps those girls that are "too jewish" don't belong in our sorority.

I don't know what the population is in my sorority now and I am sure it doesn't matter because a great girl is a great girl. Period.

Kimmy I could not agree with you more.
A great girl is a great girl, Jewish, catholic, aethiest, whatever. I think that is ridiculous of your sorority to do as well. I don't understand why in this date large organizations still place selection or denial based on religion. A person's religion is not a determinant of their true personality. In my sorority, we have Jewish, catholic, baptist, and muslim. We base our selections on personality, and never bring up religion. It just upsets me that certain houses at my school only take Jewish, or in your schols case non Jewish. Yes we have a huge Jewish population too, but I think it is ridicukous that girls going through rush are told by certain Jewish houses that they would fit in better with a non jewish group. I think sororities should be fined for this, bc that is discrimination.

At my school, we had SDT and AEPhi. All the sisters of SDT were Jewish but I'm not sure if that is because they wouldn't bid someone who wasn't Jewish or if that is just how it turned out. AEPhi was pretty mixed, religion-wise

I am so disappointed (well I really don't know WHAT word to use here) when I hear of our Nationals behaving like this!

They are there to set an example for collegiate members, and this is the best they can do?

Honestly, I just DON'T understand a representative from HQ saying "we only want the gorgeous/nonJewish/Jewish/whatever women to join our group"... :mad:

What kind of role models are these people, anyway??

I think I can shed some insight on this. Back in the seventies, some Jewish members of a few of the national Christian-based sororities, including mine, felt that all references to Christ and Christianity should be taken out of the rituals, including initiation. There was a terrible stink at our convention and the resolution was voted down but healing took awhile. Ditto for the other groups.

I would assume that the nationals in question are trying to prevent another such occurrence...I'd hope that they're not discriminating to be ugly. Like someone just said here, a great girl is a great girl!

Re: North Suburbs?
 

Yes, the north suburbs of Chicago. Highland Park and Deerfield, among others. Ultimately, AEPhi and SDT are the most homogenous chapters on campus, because both draw women from the same couple of high schools.

I never realized this about northern organizations. I mean, how do people go about finding out what religion you are when you rush??? i mean, is it asked, assumed???? The worst question i got during rush was "what do your parents do?"

Basically it works out a few ways
Since the Jewish population is so big at our school, a lot of freshmen join the Hillel, and even the rabi hangs out with all of the greeks of PNM's. Jewish people are encouraged to join the only jewish groups. In the rush rooms girls first and last names are on their name tags so it usually pretty obvious. When I went through I most certainly had like every girl ask are you Jewish???? A lot of people actually brag about being "japs" and I am telling you the truth if you are not Jewish at my school you will have a limit to which houses you can chose from, even if your personality fits in better with a certain group say AEPhi, they basically automatically cut you. I also know first handedly of people who are in GLO's dating non Jewish people, and having the rabi being very upset about this. I think it is all fine and dandy to be religious, I just think to discriminate is unfair and I know my school's greek advisor has had several complaints in reference to this in the past couple years, bc for a while it was like if you are not Jewish you dont fit in or belong to a sorority.
By the way my father is Jewish.
But I just see the difference when the southern girls are worried about looks, personality etc, where up North from what I know here, it is all about religion, ok and maybe money:)

Hm. I have to say, it bothers me to hear about any GLO, and AEPhi in particular, cutting people based strictly on religion. Yes, GLOs are selective organizations by nature, and it's possible, even likely, that a religious member of religion X may be uncomfortable in a sorority whose ideals are based on religion Y - and, yes, a sorority ritual with a lot of references to Jesus would bother me as a Jew. But it still seems wrong to me to cut someone just because of religion. We never did, and my chapter is stronger for it. "A great girl is a great girl".

There is a historically Jewish fraternity on my campus (I will not name the house) that made a practice of being absolutely sure only Jewish men joined. To avoid any appearance of religious discrimination, every year they would bid a couple of non-Jewish men - but once these bids were extended, the fraternity would stop inviting them to dinners, trips, etc. and basically stop showing interest in them. These men would naturally decide to join another house that actually showed interest in them. And if anyone in the administration questioned them as to why the house was all Jewish, the brothers could innocently say, "Well, we offered bids to Joe and Bob, they're Christian, but they didn't accept them..." That always disgusted me. :mad:

You have to understand how bizarre it is for someone from a rural school like me to hear about "Jewish" houses. I mean, if we would have had a Jewish house on campus there would only have been about 5 people in it, because that's all the Jewish people that were there. One of my sisters was Jewish and while we do have somewhat Christian references, she never had a problem with it, or if she did, she never told us.

While reading this thread, I recalled rush at a New York school and being asked where I lived, went to highschool, and what my family did for a living. The sisters seemed surprised that I was a city girl instead of from the suburbs, and they seemed impressed that I went to private school. When they heard that I was the daughter of a Wall Street attorney, they looked at me like I was a career opportunity waiting to happen. As a first semester freshman, I didn't know what to expect from rush, but I knew that I didn't like it and dropped those sororities. I wound up pledging a sorority that sincerely liked me and became the highlight of my college experience. BTW, that was over a dozen years ago so maybe things have changed...I hope.

Kimmy and Deltajas, if you don't mind, where do/did you attend school?

Jewish sororities? I guess i never really heard of that before. But I guess there are not a great deal of jewish people at A&M.

BTW if a girl came in and was saying to us "I am going to pledge XYZ" we would drop them-that is very very RUDE. There were houses that I went to that i did not quitejg, fit me but I would never had said that, I politely smiled and made conversation, there is no reason to say those things to someone that is rushing you. If some of these girls only new how much we put into rush to impress them maybe they wouldn't be so complacent

It's a similar situation at the University of Florida...we have a very large Jewish student population, in comparison with a lot of other schools. I'm not sure how many out of the 45,000+ students here are Jewish, but they're very active on campus, Hillel and several other student groups, etc. We get a LOT of Jewish students from South Florida (Miami, Boca Raton, West Palm Beach, Ft. Lauderdale) as well as a significant number that come all the way from NYC.

Several of my Jewish friends have said that their parents wanted them to come to UF specifically because of higher likelihood of meeting someone Jewish to marry. Which makes a lot of sense I guess - I know there is a lot of pressure from many parents to marry someone who is also Jewish and I can see how it's much easier at UF than some small southern college.

A E Phi and D Phi E are the "Jewish" sororities here, and TEP, A E Pi, ZBT and Pi Lam are predominately Jewish fraternities. Other houses have a significant population as well. I don't have any exact statistics, but it certainly seems that a higher % of Jewish students go greek than the rest of the UF population. Especially if they're from middle or upper class families - there's a lot of pressure.

A E Phi and D Phi E are almost totally Jewish and any "schicksa" who ends up in either house is usually half Jewish and just isn't religious or ends up inactive after about a year. Someone asked how the houses know if you're Jewish or not - most of the Jewish rushees will wear some type of jewerly that gives it away - i.e. a necklace with a star of david, or their name in hebrew. Of course if the girl's last name is Goldberg and she's petite with dark curly hair, then take a guess, right?

It's actually quite amusing sometimes to watch the two sororities here try to "profile" the rushees. They don't have time to "investigate" everyone (1000+ rushees go thru at UF every year), so after ruling out everyone who listed "such-and-such church youth choir" on their resume or wore a cross necklace (some girls do that on purpose to get dropped from those houses and help them at A D Pi, XO, etc.), some girls get past the radar. Rushees that are Italian, etc. and "look Jewish" sometimes get asked back.

When I rushed (a million years ago - Fall 1996), I really liked A E Phi - they were really fun, down to earth, and didn't seem stuck up or prissy like some other houses - they were smart a**es like I am. Plus, when I was there Round 1, it was after about 4 houses in a row that were almost all petite blondes. I'm a tall brunette so I definitely looked more like the A E Phi girls (even though I was taller than a lot of them). D Phi E had dumped me right after Round 1. Well, I got asked back to AEPhi all the way thru Round 3, just loved them, and was about in tears after listening to one of their seniors speak about the house. I hadn't really given the whole religion thing much thought until the night before when I had told a fellow rushee on my dorm floor what houses I liked best and she told me that I wouldn't fit in there because I wasn't Jewish.

So anyway, Round 3 is almost over, I was having a great time talking with the sister that was rushing me, and I told her that I just felt so comfortable there and all her sisters were so fun, etc. She just grinned and asked if I had any questions about anything. So I said something along the lines of, "I know that a lot of your sisters are Jewish, and that's cool, but I'm not - am I going to fit in here?" Can I tell you, the look on this girl's face, how quickly it changed??? She practically hisses at me "You're NOT Jewish?!?!?!?!" She was a little loud and several other rushees turned and looked at us in horror. I just froze and stuttered out "ummm, no?" like I wasn't sure myself. We just stared at each other for a couple seconds, she turned bright red (I think she was well aware that she'd been pretty rude) and then she passed me off to another one of her sisters. Guess which house didn't invite me back for Prefs???

It was kind of awkward at the time, but I'm glad it happened when it did - it would have been just awful to have a scene like that as a pledge. Apparently I had unwittingly fooled them. I'm a brunette, my personality was pretty similar to theirs, and I have a German last name. I never really thought it was a big deal. Most rushees that know what goes on will save the Jewish houses the trouble and talk about what they did for Christmas or something they did with their church so that they will be dropped. No one told me the proper procedure, so there I was, causing a minor ruckus in the middle of their Rush party.

alphaxi that is the EXACT way at my school, you basically described our rush. It's so true about girls who "look" jewish too sometimes get past, like Italian or darker Polish girls. That is soooo true, just really unfair that they get rid of great girls just based on religion, I think taht should be mandated against. I just don't agree.
All of te Aephi's and SDT's are also pretty short with dark hair:)

I think the UF Jewish houses may have gotten better in the past few years. A lot of girls that went to my high school who are Catholic went DPhiE and AEPhi (and it was obvious to these sororities that they were Catholic because these girls had Italian last names). A good friend of mine preffed at DPhiE who has a very Italian last name. She ultimately decided to go Chi-O though. And, the girls who went DPhiE and AEPhi and who are Jewish, were some of my good friends in high school. You would think those would be the type that those organizations would drop because they were blonde, blue eyed....they definitely do not like look like a stereotypical Jew. And, they have last names such as Robinson, Ashton, Small, and Cooperstock. They all got into these sororities without a problem (they also mention to me that they said nothing about their religion during rush). A friend of mine who goes to UF was telling me that DPhiE is only half Jewish. I don't think there's a true way to tell if someone is Jewish just by looking at them. Most of my Jewish friends have blonde hair and blue eyes. I have only one Jewish friend who has dark curly hair. You'd probably never guess that I am Jewish. I am tall with dark blonde hair and green eyes and my nose is....um....not the size of a stereotypical Jew. ;) In my opinion, I think that most Jews do not look like the stereotypical Jew. Look at Sarah Michelle Gellar or Alicia Silverstone.
So, I was talking to one of my friends the other day who is an AEPhi there. She told me that they do place a greater emphasis on people who are Jewish. But, she told me that sometimes there is no way to tell. And, directly from her, "We are not going to cut an awesome girl because she is Christian. A few years ago, we did. Now, we are not going to cut a bunch of girls who are awesome and who would fit in so well with us just because they are not Jewish."
It has been two years since my friends rushed at UF (wow...I am so old :( ). Out of the 8 Jewish friends who joined Jewish sororities, only 4 are still active. Out of my 5 Catholic/Protestant friends who joined the Jewish sororities, all 5 are still very active.

hey Zeta
I do agree with you it has seemed to be getting a little better in the past year or so, I think maybe bc of complaints of the fact that no social sorority is supposed to discriminate. I do agree there is no 100% way to tell if one is Jewish, but I g to school in NY and almost everyone is Jewish with dark complection. But yes, I agree Jewish is a religion with many nationalities, but some Jewish people here I know would be offended by not "looking" Jewish.

It's really interesting to hear about AEF at other schools being mostly one religion or cutting based on it, as I was just offered a bid from the chapter here, and not only do they not care one bit about a PNM's religion, I don't even think anyone in the chapter is Jewish. I mean, not that I've asked or can "tell" or anything, but I know a couple are Catholic and one's Lutheran and others are various denominations, or not religious. We have a couple of tall redheads (me being one of them :) ), a short blonde, a tall blonde, various heights of brunettes, lol..just basically every type of "look" possible.
Oh well. Just judging by the chapter here, I never would have thought so. *shrug*

What an amazing story!!!! I can't believe that girl was so blatantly rude to you.

I too am a dark-skinned brunette and I had a "suspect" maiden name. Actually my mother was of Jewish descent on her father's side, but no one in the family has been practicing Jews for a number of generations. I was raised Christian and since my whole family was too, I never even found out about it until I was 16 and my mother gave me a Jewish Princess medallion to let me in on the "secret" about my heritage. Anyway I have always been drawn to Jewish girls as friends, several of my sorority sisters were Jewish and some of them thought I was too......people always think that because of the way I look. I probably would have slipped through til' 3rd party too!!!!!

I am going to be a______
 

maggie, I've not come across this myself as a sorority member, but I did come across this when I was rushing myself and some rushees would run off at the mouth a bit.

I think sometimes when Rushees say things like this, they are merely ignorant of the bid matching process and voting process and they do not realize that Panhellenic recruitment is about MUTUAL selection. They may be under the misguided notion that you just sign up and "join" a sorority.
They likely do not realize that you must be INVITED TO JOIN!

I remember once when I was a collegian going through rush, a somewhat snooty girl snorted at me and made some comment of:

"Why would someone want to join <insert sorority name perceived to be "unprestigious" here> Sorority? If *I* rushed, I'd join <insert sorority name perceived to be more 'prestigious' here> Sorority"

Well, I responded to her, "You don't JOIN a sorority...you're INVITED to join a sorority".

Suffice it to say, she didn't have a response to that! ;)

I think when rushees make a claim like this of "I'm going to be a ____" as opposed to "I *WANT* to be a ______", it is more a case of they just don't know any better, and to assume that they're a shoo-in; in some ways, I think it is best to take them aside and explain this to them, that rush is about MUTUAL SELECTION, they must choose the sorority and the sorority must CHOOSE THEM!, rather then them ruining their chances everywhere by shooting their mouths off. In all likelihood, they may not realize that they are alienating themselves from all the sorority groups! I don't think that these rushees would necessarily make undesirable members, but I think education about the process of MUTUAL SELECTION is key!

We had a girl this rush to be like, when I get my letters this and that. She also had a bad habit of always talking about when she rushed various other organizations and how they did this and that. She was so annoying. I mean I love all Greek orgs. but some people will just push you over the edge talking about what they should of/could of done. Obviously she didn't make the cut.

although I do account a lot of this for just bad mannerisms...I'm sure a lot of these girls do mean well...they get their hopes up and let their wishes slip a little bit...Ya know? They just are new to being greek and it's all...well...

Greek to them.

lmao
sorry

Jess

Speaking of "its all Greek to me"...one of my absolute favorite memories of my first semester of college--before I really knew anything about sororities--people would ask me, "Are you greek?" And I would be just astounded:"Oh my God, yes! HOW did you know?":eek:

After a week of thinking that these people were frighteningly perceptive, I figured out what they were actually talking about. It was a killer story to tell when I finally did rush.

But I still get a kick out of saying that I'm Greek twice over. Its a special source of pride to me. :)

greeklawgirl, that is too funny!!:D