Recommendation letter - I have no one to give me one.
 

I have been informed that the school I am going to be rushing is really big on Rec letters. I'm not going to tell you the school for privacy reasons.

I was just wondering what should I do? I mean, I don't know anyone who has ever been in a sorority, whether that is I know them personally or friends of friends.

Thoughts? Suggestions?

Have you read any of the posts in this forum? If not, do some reading. There are tons and tons of threads addressing how to get recs.

I had done a search using my schools name and "recs" as well as "rec letters" but I will keep on reading. :] Thank you very much.

Are they just scattered through Sorority recruitment or is there a sub forum for them?

Use "recommendation" not "rec."

Do you have adult friends/employers? Do your parents have adult friends/co-workers? Did you have teachers or counselors at school? What about Sunday School teachers, friends from church, other organizations? These are all places to check for recs. Ask if they are Greek. Do they have any friends who were in ABC, XYZ or whatever groups you need? You'll be surprised what a little networking will turn up.

I'll give you a few suggestions on getting started with pre-recruitment that really helped my daughter get recommendations. Caveat: this only gets you the admiration of the recommender, sorority members decide on members and I have no way of knowing any of that.

Go to the sorority national websites for the chapters represented at your school and download the recommendation forms if they are available. *MY* perception of what a sorority would want based upon the recommendation forms my daughter and I have seen is academics, activities, scholarship, leadership, and community service. Hopefully, as a high school senior, you have a stable filled with these qualities!

Prepare a resume of one or two pages which quickly leads the reader to these qualities of yours.

Prepare a letter of one or two pages which expounds and details specifics of the above.

Get a transcript from your school. Get a head shot and full body photo to go along with the above.

Be ready to send all of the above, with a nice handwritten thank you note, to the people you find to write your recommendation. Keep asking people around you. Ask your relatives to keep asking their close friends.

Start now. It takes time. Some alumnae know how to do recruitment forms. Some don't. Be prepared to give the alumna everything she needs to allow the chapters to know you as much as possible before they see and talk with you. Remember, if you have the admiration of the recommendation writer, even if she can't say she has known you for 18 years, she can make you look your best!

Good luck!

Good job, CopterDad. Anyone writing letters for your daughter would have an easy time! I hope you aren't really a "copter" dad, though. :(

LOL. No, I was a Little League manager way too long in a really competitive baseball league to let myself get to that point with my kids.

Thank you for all the info! Now I just need to find some alumnae to write me some letters. So far I've asked everyone I know to ask around at their work to see if they know anyone, but so far no luck. I've emailed my local alumnae group in hopes to get in contact with someone locally who could help me, but so far I'm unsure if I am doing the right thing but contacting them.

Any advice on actually finding someone?

Are you just asking your peers? You need to be asking adults. Have you talked with your high school counselor? Most of them know Greeks because they get asked about students for rec information. Anyone you know who is a college graduate is someone you should ask.

Ask:

older friends
friends' siblings
siblings' friends
parents' friends
friends' parents
parents' coworkers
family friends
babysitters
HS teachers/staff/activity sponsors
bosses/coworkers
women from your place of worship if applicable

When you find one sorority woman, she may know of others, even if her sorority doesn't have a chapter at your school. Many NPCs allow actives from other chapters to write recs. Ask men and fraternity men, they may point you in the direction of sorority women.

Or you could just keep posting to Greekchat about your rec finding frustrations and hope that the sorority women here will write recs for you. Because no one has ever tried that subtle and creative approach before. :rolleyes:

Did you mention something about getting in touch with local alumnae groups? If you have local alum groups, then you have alums! :) Do you have a Panhellenic Alum Assoc in your area? That is a very good place to get in touch with alums in your area. Go to the national panhellenic website and do a search for a group in your area. Also, if you know older girls from your town who were in sororities in college, they may be able to tell you who wrote recs for them.
Don't give up!

I'm not in high school anymore. And, I am asking EVERYONE I know. This includes old teachers, employers, boyfriends family/friends, people in other states that I know are even asking their employers. Still, no one.

I've done all this already. The problem is my social network is COMPLETELY void of ANYONE greek. I know two girls who are currently in a sorority at my school, but they haven't gotten back to me on if they know anyone that could give me a rec letter.

Wow. Really? Just because others try this, doesn't mean I am. I HAVE NOT asked and am NOT subtly hinting at this. I have been 'lurking' on this website for long enough to know that is a serious no-no.

I am in the process of sending letters off to all the sororities at my school's alumnae groups in hopes of getting in contact with the local groups as most of them do not have anything listed on their website or just aren't around.

They don't always have to be letters from someone who was in that organization if you can't find anyone, a letter from a pastor is also impressive.

Source-young lady whose school instead of having the girls use the reference letters as this is Jane alumane from 1986 and Sally is a good girl they had them leave out the info like that and just use bosses, pastors, principals etc to base it on character and not connections.

No. Please refrain from giving advice on sorority recruitment.

OP- Recs MUST be from an alumna of each chapter on your campus. Keep working to get the word out.

What is she suppose to do if she doesn't know any alums SOL?

You're really starting to sound like the missing link.

Shut up. For the rest of your life. Thanks.

Ask these two women if they will introduce you to one of their sorority's advisers in order to get a rec from them. Then, when you meet them, ask if they know anyone in the other groups on your new campus who could help you get recs. That's how you do it...

Try this: look in the Info and Rcommendation Session thread in this forum for an area Panhellenic area near where you went to High School and contact the person who chairs the event. It's late for most sessions, but if you can show a special circumstance the alumnae might help.

http://www.npcwomen.org/alumnae-panh...directory.aspx

And the letter from a pastor thing is ridiculous. Sororities aren't going to care if she has a rec letter from J.C. himself if it's not from an alumna.

Thanks for the link. I've looked. There isn't a group in my city, but two others in my state. Should I contact them and ask if they know anyone in my city?

Are you really asking us if you should contact the seemingly "only" access to sorority alumnae that you can find?

Yes. Yes she is. :p

Before my sister went through formal, she contacted the Alumnae Panhellenic closest to our city and received no reply, even after waiting about 6 weeks. She then contacted the others in the state. One (about 3 hours away) replied. Via connections and friends, they managed to set her up with women close to us to write her recs for every chapter on campus she had not yet secured a rec for.

It's worth a try, especially if you really can find no one else.

Just be very, very polite and DO NOT demand help.

Good luck.

No, I was asking whether I should contact them, or contact the actual houses on campus asking if they could direct me to the more local alumnae groups since I assume they must have some way of communicating.

Oh, awesome. I'll get right on contacting the other groups in my state.

Thank you very much for the useful insight and advice.

I would only do that as a last resort.

You don't have a rec from someone in your particular school. Since you're in school now, I would try people's grandmothers. Going Greek wasn't huge in the 1960's-70's in many schools, so you need to go back to people who were in school earlier than that. Very few people outside of communes know nobody who's greek, it's just a matter of flushing them out.

Look in the local small papers for alumnae group meetings. Use the contact number to ask a real live sorority alumna if she could help you with a rec. If there's a mention of the XYZ Alumnae Association holding a fundraiser and a name is mentioned, try calling her.

If you attend a house of worship (or if your parents do), ask them to put in a mention that you're going to Whatever University, where you would like to go through Recruitment - would anyone be interested in helping you find some recommendations.

If you're shopping with someone, and there are other women about, talk to them a little louder than usual, that you're having trouble finding recs.

Honestly, alumnae WANT to help you. They know you need recs. You just have to get into situations where you find alumnae.

Do not contact the houses.

Definitely contact NPC.org. (Haven't we said this more than once?) Just because they are not in your town, they ARE in your state. Call them or email them, tell them what town you are in and have them help you get in touch with alumnae in your area.

Oftentimes, panhellenic alum orgs are located in big cities and not small towns. They will help you find someone in your area.

Plus, your recs don't have to come from your town. Anyone that you know, anywhere, can write your rec and send it in. My daughter had recs from several different towns because we live in a small town and the pickings were slim.

Thank you for the helpful advice. I think I'll look at our paper's website and go back a few weeks to see if anything pops up from anyone local.

Yeah, I always thought they had to be local. Good to know that they don't though.
Thanks.