Regretting pledging a fraternity a little bit.
 

I think the fraternity I pledged on campus (theta chi) is easily the best fraternity. Great guys, great service work, great parties, high gpa, etc. The problem is that I've found majority of theta chi chapters at other universities are a normally a bunch of "losers". They either have no social life in the greek community and are basically a community service club or just a bunch of nerds.

This really turns me off of being initiated at theta chi. The other fraternities that matter on campus and have a presence nationally (are top fraternities at other schools) are sigma phi epsilon and sigma chi.

It really bothers me and makes me want to de-pledge. But i'm 4 weeks into pledging and really got to know the brothers/pledge brothers. I really like them too, they're all great.

Has anyone else felt the same?

How do you know that a "majority of theta chi chapters at other universities are a normally a bunch of 'losers?'"

Have you been to conferences and conventions already?

How often are you going to hang out with/party with/see the guys at other chapters? If it really matters that much to you, then you should de-pledge.

But you are pledging YOUR chapter. If you like the brothers/pledge brothers at your school why do you even care what they are like somewhere else? Would you pledge a differently named group if they had these same guys as members? Or is status your ownly concern?

shouldn't national status be a concern? this is going to follow me for the rest of my life, no?

word of mouth, scanning other chapters, visiting nearby ones, etc.
all hasn't been very positive except a select few like the UCF chapter.

This is like being concerned about being the most popular guy in high school. At the time, it seems important. As you grow older, you'll realize it's not that serious.

You should be most concerned about the guys at your chapter and your national goals/values.

I'm going to try to get past the loser comment here. Consider that every chapter at every campus is different, often because of campus dynamics. Every single GLO is likely to have a "top house" on one campus and be "bottom tier" on another. Does it matter? No, it evens out. And maybe that's what that campus likes- more mellow, don't want to throw crazy parties, or are very dedicated to community service. Let's be honest here, after you graduate college MOST people grow up and do not party like they did in college. Some don't and it works for them, but most move on. Sounds like you have a good chapter to spend four years with.

So since you've established you like the chapter on your campus, what are you looking for in regards to national presence? Networking opportunities, the number of people who recognize your fraternity, etc? Other than other chapters being "losers", are there any concrete reasons you can't get what you're seeking?

I was thinking maybe you were concerned because they are a smaller org nationally, but the first line on Theta Chi's "About" page rules that out:
Theta Chi Fraternity is one of the oldest and largest men's fraternities in North America today.

ETA: Thanks TSteven, fixed... That's what I get for trying to post on my way into a meeting! :o

Only if you decide it's a problem and let it bother you.

You're taking your experience, which based on your description is pretty limited and not even all first-hand, and generalizing those limited interactions and impressions with other chapters (which just might be very inaccurate) to all of Theta Chi's 130+ chapters and alumni.

Hey, it happens a lot actually. Top houses on some campuses, have not so great reputations at other colleges (losers, nerds, etc). There are a few chapters that your chapter probably does get a long with, and it won't be a problem. Fact is, if what you say is true, and your house is top house on your campus, why would you wanna be anywhere else? Your next 4 years will be spent at your college., and you don't want to be part of the 'loser' house for your next 4 years, do you? Stick it out, it'll be worth it, you'll have fun for the next four years, and then on the bright side, when you graduate, those who matter (employers) may especially think you are a good quality man, because of your national reputation. ;)

Might I also point out that those "losers" or "nerds" you are condeming at other Theta Chi chapters may turn out to be high power doctors, attorneys, businessmen, etc. The popular guys in high school and college frequently peak there and don't end up being much later. Judging what your alumnus experience will be like because of these markers is rather ridiculous. Personally, I think you should probably try to meet some Theta Chi alumni and see what caliber men stay active in the organization if you truly want to know what kind of impact it will make in your life after college.

You shouldn't be worried about the stereotypes at other schools. You're not pledging Theta Chi at any other schools.

I have met SigEps from across the entire nation and we're all different. I've met probably every college stereotype you can think of within other chapters, but that has not once pushed me away.

In any case, every one that I've met has been a great guy deep down and a great Brother. That's all I'm concerned about. If the California Beta Beta chapter is known at the World of Warcraft chapter on campus, power to them. I'm sure when I'm 40 and I meet someone from that school, they're going to be mature enough to not assume I fit into a silly college stereotype.

And just as a note on your fraternity, I have yet to meet a Theta Chi that hasn't been an awesome person. I'm sure your perspective is distorted somehow.

On my campus Theta Chi was a strong house. Sig Ep was 15 guys who didn't have a house and Sigma Chi ended up losing their charter. The point is that every fraternity and sorority has strong chapters and weaker ones. Furthermore, chapters constantly change with each new pledge class.

If you want to belong to a group without a single nerd then Greek Life just isn't for you.

fixed that for you :D

Thanks! So true!

This would be so different if it was an NPHC fraternity. :)

I won't reiterate what has already been said but I do think you are painting a picture that is overly broad. I am not a Theta Chi but I am an older alumni of a large national Fraternity. If I were in college today I would strongly consider Theta Chi. Your undergraduate experience is what YOU make it not what the collective makes it. I guarantee you that there are great chapters of Theta Chi all across the nation and that there are numerous Theta Chi members who are proud to wear their letters. You should make the decision to either be proud of your Fraternity and work to make it better both locally and nationally or get out and not waste their time.

I thought the same thing.

Just de-pledge.

If you're going to waste a perfectly good opportunity to be part of Theta Chi over some "perceptions" about brothers across town/the state/the country, then Theta Chi probably doesn't need you. Fraternities and sororities want leaders, not people who will be so easily swayed by superficial things like "reputations." Sad...

Well said.

Are you sure you don't mean Theta Chi? ;)

Wow. I'm at a lose for words. Because they chapters you know off aren't top tier, you don't want to be a Theta Chi? Oh and the chapter at my school is really geekey, with huge amounts of philanthropy. Yet they are the largest fraternity on campus.

This is so stupid I almost can't handle it. Being worried about prestige of a chapter on your campus is immature, but understandable. I think we forget that most PNMs are 18 year old who are still trying to find their place in the world...while even a college senior may be totally over "prestige", maybe the 18 year old still has a couple years before he/she gets to that state of comfort with themselves (because let's be honest, questions of prestige all go back to a sense of insecurity with yourself, not the org).

But worrying about a national fraternities prestige?? NOBODY CARES. Really. Alpha Phi has chapters that consistently have the highest return rates, and chapters that are struggling with just about every facet of their reputation. Every PHC and IFC chapter does as well (it might be different in other conferences).

People will make assumptions about your chapter/fraternity post college based on what YOU are like. I met a guy who had only been out of college for about 3-4 years...incredibly good looking, great conversation skills, very "good ol' boy" attitude and had a fantastic finance job. He had mentioned that he was an ABC, and I made the assumption that the chapter had to have been a "good ol' boy" chapter. Later I learned that this chapter was starving for members. Let me tell you, it is definitely not hurting this guy AT ALL. He is making six figures already and he has a line of attractive women waiting to date him.

Seriously, I have never met a guy this concerned with a fraternities national prestige, especially if their chapter was strong. Sounds like you might have some bigger internal issues to address.

:D

The OP seems to be a loser. In fact, I believe that most "cool kids" were once losers and/or are considered losers by at least one other person. The eye of the beholder.

Of course - no one who has never been a loser fixates on it because they don't know the difference.

Don't worry about not getting laid on Spring Break because you're a Theta Chi. You go on a package tour through your school and end up hanging out with the same old hos you see all the time anyway. :) So all that matters is your rep at your school.

Seriously, unless these other chapters are at the school across town and they keep crashing your parties, NOBODY gives a shit.

:D

You read my mind!

This song seems appropriate here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCf8iejBdp8

"No matter where I go..."

ctfu!

sorry I was shallow but i do feel this was a legit concern. For the future, if i run into someone of a different fraternity and they find theta chi on their college as a pushover chapter, i'm pretty sure they'll put me in that category as well.

but you guys are correct, the way you present YOURSELF matters more then what fraternity you're part of. any sterotype that person put you in will disappear once you present yourself better.

I will stick with my chapter because they are the best bunch of guys i've ever met. It bothers me a bit that potential big and known party schools i'll visit has some not-very-social chapters but I'll manage.

you guys were a bit rough on me (probably because i sounded like a thick-headed dickwad) but totally right

Also though this wasn't mentioned, reputations have a habit of changing rather rapidly. so a so called nerdy chapter can turn into all jocks in a semester.

This sounds like you're afraid they'll beat you up or trash your apartment or something. That happens in movies, not real life.

For the record, I've met people from other schools, and my sorority at their school was VERY different than my chapter, but the reaction was pretty much "huh. Imagine that." and we both went on. Really, it's not that serious.

Although if one of the things that's concerning you is that the OXs at party schools you want to visit aren't partiers, you still have a lot of growing up and priority straightening to do. If all you're joining a fraternity for is to have a place to crash when you road trip and make a drunken idiot of yourself, you need to get real.

Rough? That was nothing! :p So glad that you've seen the light.

We rarely change people's minds around here so the punishment might continue for a while. Stick around though. You'll eventually get a chance to bash the next newb along with us.

i think that once you are in the true adult world, people judge you, not so much what organizations you belong(ed) to in college. being a member of a fraternity shows that you can work with a group-that is always a sought after attribute. if you hold a leadership position that will be a plus too, on a resume'.

as multiple people said multiple times, every greek org. has their strong chapters and their weak. it doesn't matter what name you throw out there, they all do. you could always visit just those chapters of theta chi which meet your standards on your roadtrips :rolleyes:

There are so many different national/international fraternities that it seems a little silly to hang too much on any real or perceived "national" reputation or image. If you like your chapter and wnat to make the commitment of becoming a lifetime member, go for it. From initiation day on the quality of your membership experience will be almost entirely up to you!

Later in life, you'll most likely find that your membership experience is something you'll share in common with anyone you come across who joined a fraternity or sorority (of any council.) You may find you'll have the most common experiences with other Greek alumni from your own campus, or similar campuses (for example large state universities or small private lib arts colleges) and very little in common with an individual who joined your particular GLO at a very different college or university.

Exactly!

I remember a couple of years ago in my grad program (in a particularly difficult course), I was casually talking to two classmates outside the door. It turned out that all three of us are greek (one IFC, one NPHC, one NALFO) and it was, bam, instant study group! Once you leave undergrad, I think most people are very excited to encounter other greeks in the workplace, grad school, etc., and I don't know anyone who stops and thinks, "Hmmm...what was XYZ like when I was in school?"

I know guys in several fraternities on my campus that are "low-tier" and "top-tier" and I have never consciously said to myself, stop talking to him because he is a XYZ. The majority of people don't care what org you are in, personally I get excited if I meet a greek that's not even in the same org as me! Chapters are different nationwide and if you are proud to be a Theta Chi and like your brothers, I wouldn't give a crap about what other people think about me.

Wonderful!

Another way to look at it is that, in one of those "loser" chapters are pointing to your chapter as how they want to be.

Almost everyone that replied came from a "seasoned Greek" point of view.

This guy is only 4 weeks into his pledgeship, and I can see where his concern comes from. He thought Theta Chi was the best and was disappointed to find that all chapters are different.

But yeah, you don't pledge national fraternities, you pledge a chapter. And top tier on one campus could be bottom of the barrel in another school. It's like that with every organization.

Just stick to it. And like some people said, reputations change over time.