Pregnancy and Pledging...
 

I should start this off by explaining I'm alumni to a college-wide sorority, not a nationwide one. We are full of super unique girls... We're a lot like the sorority on 'House Bunny' except that most of us aren't social outcasts, we just walk a different line (ranging from super christian to atheist, peircings and tattoos to 'pure', and every size woman you can think of).

This year, one of our potential pledges is pregnant. Being a college sponsored group, our entire schedule of activities is approved by college staff and therefore we don't have any crazy hazing like paddles or anything sexual. However, we do a LOT of marching.

Arrangements have already been made for a wheelchair (which, oddly enough, we've had to use for 6-7 years straight now because of outside injuries like hip and knee problems). Coming off of a pregnancy myself, I'm worried about the added stress Greek Week adds. Plus our Greek Week always coincides with midterms, which just means more stress.

Are there any suggestions of ways to handle this? Particularly things we might be able to do so she is still working with her sisters but perhaps isn't as stressed out about it? Or, anything in particular people would recommend avoiding?

Thanks for the help, if anyone can :)

QFP.

So what, she isnt a pledge yet? How far along is she? Marching? So you walk around alot? I would need a little more detail but at this point I would tell her to spend her dues money on her child and not a sorority.

Uh - marching? Please tell me you're a band sorority or something.

The type of pledge process that your sorority engages in and that your college approves of is not the type of process that most members of GreekChat are accustomed to or are able to provide guidance on.

I suggest speaking to the person at your college who approves the pledge activities to get their opinion.

I strongly discourage you from sharing any more details about your pledge program, sorority, or college on this message board.

Good luck!

If you have two classes a year, maybe she could wait and go through with the next pledge class (in the fall) instead?

Also, ask her about her physical health and what her doctor's advised before making provisions for her. Every woman is different, pregnant or not. She might be able to do far more than you were able to in your pregnancy, she might be able to do far less. I mean, it could be that just the mental strain of pledging (balancing it with classes, etc - I don't mean mental hazing) proves too difficult for her.

Unless you are a band or a bunch of Saints making their way into Heaven, why the marching?

Sorority dues are expensive...babies are WAY more expensive... Unless this girl is loaded AND has a full time sitter that can watch the baby while she goes to class AND sorority events, she needs to focus on school and expenses.

Also, marching is going to jeopardize the health of her and the baby. If that is something she's going to have to do, then best not to pledge her, imo.

It's a local sorority. Their dues are more than likely far less than national dues.

I think that there are alot of things to take into consideration before the decision is made. I think you need to have a very serious conversation with her explaining the expectations after she would become a member. You should probably find out what her doctor advises she do... speak to your greek life office about how they say/think you should handle the situation and discuss internally everyone's comfort level with the situation to decide whether or not all parties are in agreement.

Do the actives march as well? Did you have to do it? When you were pg, would you have wanted to be marching all over campus?

Wondering out loud what marching has to do with scholarship, service or honesty...

But they don't do any "crazy hazing" like paddling or anything sexual. That would definitely not have to do with scholarship, service or honesty. :rolleyes:

Im an alumna of my sorority and one of the active sisters just had a baby, she has made an agreement with the chapter to be able to do things to her ability. If you should do whatever you feel is right and talk it over with the chapter and her as well.. communication is key

Not that it's relevant to whether or not a pregnant woman should be pledging, but pregnant women aren't invalids. Maybe it's because I'm an athlete and hang out with a lot of other runners/triathletes, but every pregnant woman I know has continued to work out a lot. One of my friends even ran the Boston Marathon last year at 6 months pregnant. But who knows what "marching" actually entails.

For some people, that is true. Both my sisters ran into their 8 months of pregnancies. But that is a choice. Being made to do "a LOT of marching" tells me that it probably happens at any time of day (or night!). I know that pregnant women have a lot of uncomfortable days. Pregnant bodies do funny things and sometimes, a girl just doesn't feel like MARCHING. Being wheeled around in a wheelchair probably isn't that comfortable, either. Which is another oddity to me:

"Arrangements have already been made for a wheelchair (which, oddly enough, we've had to use for 6-7 years straight now because of outside injuries like hip and knee problems)."

I cannot believe for one minute that "Being a college sponsored group, our entire schedule of activities is approved by college staff".

It is hazing, pure and simple. And if you haze a pregnant woman, shame on you twice.

You don't know that it's hazing. It might be against the rules of your own organization, but if it doesn't violate any laws and the college approves of it, it's really not your place to call it hazing.

QFT

It doesn't matter who or what entity "approved" an acticity. Hazing is defined by the laws of a state.
Nebraska Hazing Law

28-311.06. Hazing, defined; penalty

Yet and still, marching in and of itself does not automatically fall into the legal definition of hazing.

Waiting for the OP to explain marching. When I pledged we walked in a line in step everywhere we went. That could be considered marching and there wasn't anything strenuous about it.

1) Maybe it's just my chapter, but do alums usually assist in the pledge process?

2) Also, what is a "potential pledge" -- is that different from a PNM (potential new member)? I sincerely hope you're not asking PNMs to "march" (whatever that may be) before they're even in your sorority! :rolleyes:

3) You said you're coming off a pregnancy yourself...so you have experience with being pregnant. Would you have wanted to march when you were pregnant? What would you have recommended avoiding?

So much of this doesn't make sense to me...:confused:

because you're applying an NPC mindset to a non NPC org. ;)

So, (aside from the marching) what other kind of hazing do you do? :rolleyes: I mean you did post this in the Risk Management & Hazing forum.

First, before you implicate yourself & sorority, I would suggest you quit posting information.
Second, I would gather that the life of a newborn/yet or soon to be born child, takes priority over EVERYTHING and ANYTHING in LIFE.

What he said. ^^

Oops...guilty as charged. So glad other GC-ers keep me enlightened! :p

Exactly, and the laws of various states are different. Where I live, for example, simply making pledges march would not meet the legal definition of hazing. Since we don't know where the OP is, we have no way of knowing whether marching constitutes hazing under the laws of her state. (We can hope, though, that her college administrators know the law of their state and wouldn't approve anything that constitutes hazing under their state's law.)

Just Astonished
 

To those first who think that this 'marching' is not considered hazing... try using your real brains. Or maybe it's because you were hazed or did some hazing as well. This doesn't need to happen.

Why do people need to 'march' in a straight line all over campus!?... I know one thing I joined Theta Phi Alpha, because I was assured by all members there was no hazing involved whatsoever. Even as a Pledge Sister or newly initiated member there was not an ounce of hazing.

If these men/women are supposed to be your potential brothers/sisters why do you even WANT to force them to do anything. I'm not saying your telling them they do it or die, but you are in fact forcing them to participate in this said 'marching'.

Whether local or NPC I find it rather disgusting to see that this still exists. In a country where everyone is supposed to be equal, you are just continuting the bad reputation of Greek Life. I don't want my fellow sister to walk in a straight line behind me... I want them to walk next to me, to be a sister with me. Afterall no matter the position each person is responsible for making the Chapter/Colony what it is. If you have a single person who doesn't assist in some way then in the end your organization will not survive.

I'm particularly saddened to hear that you think that this 'marching' isn't considered 'real hazing'; and as you mentioned like paddling or sexual. I know one thing I don't care if it was the president of the U.S. that wanted me to join, if someone EVER forced me to do something like that I would tell them where to put their organization.

I'd be willing to bet if you allowed all members pledges, collegians, and alums to participate equally you would have a much better reputation. You would also encourage proper behavior for the 'real world'.

I hope you do keep these comments to yourself, I don't even WANT to know what school you go to. It makes me want to vomit just to see you all continue this type of behvior in today's day and age.

No worries, this OP performed the classic newbie mistake of using the same user name in more than one place.

I'm still curious to know what the marching was used for.

If the administration approved it, then maybe it isn't as bad as we all thought.

Yeah, you're sketchy.

Wow, that's a heck of a first post.

I think *you* need to use your "real brains" for a second and consider that the way your sorority does things is not the be-all, end-all for everyone else.

:)

Moi?? It took ONE click. First search result.

what do fake brains look like?

ETA: nm i found it.

http://simpsonovi.comics.cz/media/Ob...ages/BRAIN.JPG

You cared a lot.

I think this is less of a "Whose Lane Are You In Anyways?" game and more of a divide on the moral idea of what is and what is not hazing. My sorority doesn't march. I think it's hazing. The two ideas might be correlated; they might not. They might be RELATED; they might not be. But it's a little presumptuous to go ahead and say that just because she's an NPC member that she can't have an opinion on whether something is morally wrong.

It's not about what lane she's in, it's about her ignorance on what is and is not hazing to organizations outside her own council.

This is not much different from non-NPC organizations thinking it's LAME that most NPC "new members" wear letters before initiation. Thinking it's LAME doesn't make it morally wrong. Just lame to you.

Reading is Fundamental. I said nothing about NPC or her right to have an opinion. So tell me again, who is presumptuous?

It is different, because you can think it's lame but you don't think it's MORALLY WRONG. And I will clarify; the distinction between being morally wrong and thinking something is morally wrong depends simply on what you think. Morally wrong is different for everyone.

Wearing letters before initiation couldn't be considered hazing at all. Surely you can see how someone might see forced marching as hazing, whether or not you think so?

:)

Y'all are both making me happy today.

(minus Sen's Yella Bone comment...)

:rolleyes: Okay. So you saying "how YOUR SORORITY does things is not how others do things" had nothing to do with "You are in an NPC and it is not how other GLOs that are not NPCs do things"? Bull****. Don't backtrack now.

I think that allowing your new members to wear letters is morally wrong and detrimental to the entire Greek community because you're giving shit away.

See how it doesn't have to be hazing for it to be morally wrong? Wait, is it morally wrong or is it just something you think is lame?

Is this hazing to you? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhEyQAzffdA