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-   -   Help and advice on my bid situation please. (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=111523)

Passioncreek 02-17-2010 11:18 AM
Im sorry for offending anyone. I understand now and realize I was wrong. thanx for your help

ComradesTrue 02-17-2010 11:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Passioncreek (Post 1897888)
So I have a serious problem and I hope this is the right place to post it. I received a bid from a house in the fall and didn't accept because I didn't like the house. I realized that I didn't like this house for the wrong reasons. So I expressed to the president that I would like my bid back since bids are good for one whole year. she was so excited. she had me talking to the new member coordinator and invited me to dinner. they said they were going to get my process started but I should still come out to their spring events to meet other girls. I had a good time with allthe girls I talkd, one girl even held me up all night.well after I saw them give bids to bout 4 girls I talked to the prez agin and now she is saying they only give girls 1-2 days to accept a bid and she is not required to give me my bid back. well the greek office says different, they say I can have my bid back and there's nothing anyone can do about it.I ve tried talking to the prez more but I think she purposely ignore my phone calls even thoug she offered me her number. I had a friend in there who was shocked about this and offered to talk to the prez herself, but now I think she might be ignoring me because she didn't get back to me. lol. I don't understand the change. this house is severely under total, my grades are up and I don't go out so there is no bad rep surrounding me, and they chose me before. it just seems unfair to bind me to a bid and prevent me from joining a house I did like if u are not going to give me a chance.I am tempted to just to settle this through the greek office but I would hate to go over the presidents head, how can I handle this? do anyone have advice on rather I should go through the office or not?
QFP.

So many things that I don't even know where to start.

I am sure that forcing your way in the back door via the Greek Life advisor will really endear you to your potentially future sisters.

kddani 02-17-2010 11:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Passioncreek (Post 1897888)

1) I received a bid from a house in the fall and didn't accept because I didn't like the house.
...
2) I would like my bid back since bids are good for one whole year.
...
3) she is not required to give me my bid back.
...
4) well the greek office says different, they say I can have my bid back and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
...
5) it just seems unfair to bind me to a bid and prevent me from joining a house I did like if u are not going to give me a chance.
1) You were offered a bid and made a choice (good or bad) not to accept it. Now you want to change your mind. It does not work that way.

2) Bids are not necessarily "good for one whole year". Bids may be good until you decline them. Once you decline them, you don't have the rest of the year to change your mind. It does not work that way.

3) She is correct, she is not obligated to re-extend you a bid.

4) I call BS as to what the "greek office" said. They can't force a chapter to bid you after you've already declined your bid.

5) They gave you a chance (when apparently no other houses did), you SAID NO! Now you want to change your mind. You reap what you sow.

This house doesn't "owe" you anything, and you forcing yourself upon them seems pretty pathetic and entitled. Despite not being at total, they don't have to take anyone that they don't want to.

twinkle555 02-17-2010 12:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Passioncreek (Post 1897888)
So I have a serious problem and I hope this is the right place to post it. I received a bid from a house in the fall and didn't accept because I didn't like the house. I realized that I didn't like this house for the wrong reasons. So I expressed to the president that I would like my bid back since bids are good for one whole year. she was so excited. she had me talking to the new member coordinator and invited me to dinner. they said they were going to get my process started but I should still come out to their spring events to meet other girls. I had a good time with allthe girls I talkd, one girl even held me up all night.well after I saw them give bids to bout 4 girls I talked to the prez agin and now she is saying they only give girls 1-2 days to accept a bid and she is not required to give me my bid back. well the greek office says different, they say I can have my bid back and there's nothing anyone can do about it.I ve tried talking to the prez more but I think she purposely ignore my phone calls even thoug she offered me her number. I had a friend in there who was shocked about this and offered to talk to the prez herself, but now I think she might be ignoring me because she didn't get back to me. lol. I don't understand the change. this house is severely under total, my grades are up and I don't go out so there is no bad rep surrounding me, and they chose me before. it just seems unfair to bind me to a bid and prevent me from joining a house I did like if u are not going to give me a chance.I am tempted to just to settle this through the greek office but I would hate to go over the presidents head, how can I handle this? do anyone have advice on rather I should go through the office or not?
If you had accepted your bid and dropped after a few days, I think then and only then would you be entitled to return b/c you are bound to that bid for a year (since you accepted it)..HOWEVER, since you chose to decline your bid, you are not bound to it, thus that house does NOT have to take you back if they dont want to.

33girl 02-17-2010 12:41 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by twinkle555 (Post 1897910)
If you had accepted your bid and dropped after a few days, I think then and only then would you be entitled to return b/c you are bound to that bid for a year (since you accepted it)..HOWEVER, since you chose to decline your bid, you are not bound to it, thus that house does NOT have to take you back if they dont want to.
Yes, exactly.

The Greek life office might have misunderstood and thought you signed and accepted the bid, but if you did not - which you didn't - nobody owes you anything.

You screwed up. Accept it and MOVE ON. The fact that you're bringing up that they're under total (which I hope to heaven you didn't say out loud, but I'm kind of thinking you probably did) just confirms the fact that all you want to do is be a letter pimp/jacket sister and you could care less about these women.

Passioncreek 02-17-2010 02:29 PM
well thank you for your advice and for givin me information. no it was more than wanting a jacket. its about growing up and learning things.and I guess I will have to reap what I sow. thanx.

Zillini 02-17-2010 02:31 PM
You declined the bid, therefore you no longer have a right to that bid. It is now entirely up to the chapter whether they wish to honor it or not. Being at Total or not is irrelevant. It sounds like they changed their mind about you.

Here's an example to explain how your and apparently your misinformed Greek Life Office's reasoning that a bid is valid for an entire year is wrong. Let's say Quota is 20 and a chapter makes Quota issuing 20 bids, but 5 decline. The chapter is entitled to immediately turn around and issue 5 COR bids in order to fill Quota. But using your logic, the chapter could not do that. Instead it would have to settle on only 15 members hoping against hope those 5 would change their mind. The chapter would be stuck honoring those worthless yet outstanding bids for the whole year. It doesn't work like that.

ASTalumna06 02-17-2010 03:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Passioncreek (Post 1897888)
it just seems unfair to bind me to a bid and prevent me from joining a house I did like if u are not going to give me a chance.
Do you mean... you're bound to their bid for a year? Because you aren't.

If you want to go through recruitment next semester, you can. You didn't sign the bid, so therefore, they don't owe you anything, and they didn't "screw you over" (if that's what you think is happening here).

You didn't accept your bid. They don't care. Try again next time.

ComradesTrue 02-17-2010 03:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ASTalumna06 (Post 1898033)
Do you mean... you're bound to their bid for a year? Because you aren't.
Well, if she went through formal recruitment, signed a preference card with that chapter listed on it, then she in effect accepted the bid by signing the card. In that case she is bound for a full year.

PsychTau 02-17-2010 04:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondie93 (Post 1898043)
Well, if she went through formal recruitment, signed a preference card with that chapter listed on it, then she in effect accepted the bid by signing the card. In that case she is bound for a full year.
According to NPC guidelines, if she signed the MRABA (Binding Agreement) and was matched to that group but decided not to actually join, she is bound to that group for one calendar year. Now...during that year she can sit and do nothing (and not join a sorority at all), or she can be repledged to that group as long as doing so would not put them over Total.

NPC does not specify what it takes to be repledged to a group...that is up to each individual organization. Many organizations have in their Inter/National Constitutions and Bylaws that in order to be repledged to a group that originally offered you a bid, the chapter must vote (voting percentages and procedures differ) to repledge you, and they may also have to seek approval from a regional/district officer. In other words, the repledging is not automatic. There is a procedure involved.

Also, declining/not accepting a bid is not the same thing as "I want to wait and think about it". Most Inter/National Organizations do have a limit as to how long someone can sit and think about a bid precisely to avoid having 5 people think about a bid for a semester and therefore blocking 5 other women who are ready to join to do so.

Another question...did your GPA or student standing at the University change between last semester and this semester? Because if your GPA dropped below the minimum for joining, then you cannot become a NM. In order to be repledged, you have to meet the criteria for becoming a NM.

PsychTau

tld221 02-17-2010 05:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Passioncreek (Post 1897979)
well thank you for your advice and for givin me information. no it was more than wanting a jacket. its about growing up and learning things.and I guess I will have to reap what I sow. thanx.
Life in general will give you that same experience. No jacket required, though im sure you could buy your own.

Passioncreek 02-17-2010 05:30 PM
Lol tld221. Yeah Im sure I can buy my own jacket. I made a bad decision. I was totally wrong and now I have nothing but respect for this house. To PsychTau my grades are still above the requirements. I never really wanted to contact the greek office. It was just a thought in the moment. I respect everyones advice it gave me some perspective.

ASTalumna06 02-17-2010 06:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blondie93 (Post 1898043)
Well, if she went through formal recruitment, signed a preference card with that chapter listed on it, then she in effect accepted the bid by signing the card. In that case she is bound for a full year.
Ah, I see. I guess the question is whether or not she went through formal recruitment, and under what circumstances she declined her bid.

Barbie's_Rush 02-17-2010 10:39 PM
Is today like some kind of new holiday called "Entitled Freshman Pride Day?"

bostongreek 02-17-2010 10:46 PM
If this happened exactly as you say here, then it is kind of shady of the prez to act excited to have you back and then avoid you.

mittens 02-18-2010 12:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Passioncreek (Post 1897888)
Im sorry for offending anyone. I understand now and realize I was wrong. thanx for your help
Did you go through formal recruitment or informal recruitment? If you decline a bid the chapter doesn't have to take you back at all. If you accepted a bid then depledged, then as far as I know your bid is binding for one year. Depending on your organization, they have policies for NMs repledging. I would call your organization's HQ and tell them your situation and ask about repledging. They may have someone from HQ contact an advisor to ask about your situation. Since it is "spring" and you said they picked up 4 girls, it sounds like informal recruitment, the members of your org may be very busy at the moment. So I wouldn't say they are ignoring you just yet.

If you don't hear something within a couple of weeks then I would try contacting HQ by email asking about your status or even try emailing the president or NM educator again. You might want to ask yourself if you get no response from members of that org if you want them to be your sisters. My opinion is that it is your own fault though, you realize that you didn't like that sorority for all the wrong reasons and you can only blame yourself. Some chapters are forgiving with that matter and some are not.

Passioncreek 02-18-2010 12:38 AM
I went through formal and wanted to go through membership this spring. the main reason i waited was because I wanted to have the funds. Things came and I no longer had the money and wasn't appreciative of the sorority at the time. I quickly realized i was wrong in the fall and waited till spring to recontact them. and the rest is history.

mittens 02-18-2010 12:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Passioncreek (Post 1898489)
I went through formal and wanted to go through membership this spring. the main reason i waited was because I wanted to have the funds. Things came and I no longer had the money and wasn't appreciative of the sorority at the time. I quickly realized i was wrong in the fall and waited till spring to recontact them. and the rest is history.
But you just said in your first post that you decided to decline a bid because you didnt like the house now you're saying it's because you wanted to go through the NM process in the spring? Which one is it?

Before you went through recruitment, you should of been aware of the financial obligations. If you would of accepted your bid and went through the NM meetings and talked to your new member educator about financial difficulties you could of been initiated in the spring and they also may have payment plans set up for you.

Passioncreek 02-18-2010 09:22 AM
I hope to clarify this: my immediate decline of the bid in the fall was for the wrong reasons. but sometime in the middle of fall , after I realized I was wrong, it became a finacial situation, I had the money before and now I didn't. so I waited to recontact the girls in spring.

33girl 02-18-2010 07:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Passioncreek (Post 1898489)
I went through formal and wanted to go through membership this spring. the main reason i waited was because I wanted to have the funds. Things came and I no longer had the money and wasn't appreciative of the sorority at the time. I quickly realized i was wrong in the fall and waited till spring to recontact them. and the rest is history.
Did you sign a bid card on which you wrote this sorority's name after preference round, or were you offered an open bid, which you declined?

If you were offered an open bid and said no, you have no ties to this sorority at all.

If you signed a bid card and wrote this sorority's name down, received a bid, and did not begin pledging immediately, they may have had to release you. My campus had a rule that if a woman didn't begin pledging within 48 hours, it was considered hazing and she was released. At any rate, I have the feeling that nobody - Greek advisor, chapter, or GC - has the whole story.


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