LETTERS!!!
 

I recently was in a frat at my school; Phi Sigma Kappa to be exact. Last semester, I deactivated and everything was good... well, until I lost all my friends and got shunned by everyone I was friends with last year. I have remained friends with a small portion of the guys and I live with one of them. But it seems that every time I see a brother on campus, they desperately try to not look at me or talk to me. Well, that is neither here nor there....My point is that I thought I was on good terms with the guys and recently had on our athletics shirt from Greek week and I was confronted by my roommate. He says that because I am deactivated, I can't even WEAR anything with letters on it. He says, out of "mutual respect" I should not wear the letters. Last time I checked, mutual respect goes both ways and the fact that my "brothers" trying hard to not look me in the eyes or cross paths with me is not very respectful. Basically, I told him that he could go sit on it and I could wear whatever I want. Now some of the guys are threatening me because of it. What are my choices here? I don't wanna back down because then they win. Any suggestions?

What exactly do you mean by deactivate? As in you went alumnus early or you no longer consider yourself part of the fraternity.

I'm just not an active member right now. Kinda took a semester off to get my grades up.

Honestly, that sounds off. The kind of behavior you are describing as happening to you is way out of line if you were just inactive for a semester.

I know the behavior is unacceptable and I'm planning on dealing with that with the university. I'm just wondering on where I stand on the whole letter wearing issue.

Just...... :rolleyes:

I agree.

LOL - I'm eternally grateful to unicorn for this AND honored to have been part of the test group for it, haha.

Your best bet is to ask someone on your alumni/chapter advisory board - they'll be able to give you a clear answer and they may be somewhat removed from the drama going on between you and your chapter.

Ok I will be blunt. I don't believe you. I can't see them shunning a Brother just because he is "Taking a semester off to get his grades up." I think you told them that you didn't want to be part of the fraternity. If I am right, which I think I am unless you are lying about their behavior, then you have no reason at all to be wearing letters.

Three other guys have done the same thing I did last semester and they are being treated the same way. I'm the only one who has worn letters since then though. I didn't even think about wearing them when I wore them. It was just to the gym and I got so much shit for it. I don't think it's fair. If you don't believe me, it's cool with me. I'm just telling it like it is. It is a bit odd, but after this little predicament, I don't believe I'll be returning to Phi Sig. Thanks for the advice though.

Then you won't want to wear your letters ever again - problem solved!

It sounds to me that either 1.) the brother you talked to might of taken it the wrong way and interpreted that you are leaving the fraternity and not planning on coming back or 2) you have already told people that you don't want to be apart of this fraternity. Honestly, I don't see how the fraternity is making your grades lower?

I can't imagine any member of a fraternity or sorority for that matter that will treat you in this manner just because you want to get your grades up. Really. What exactly did you say to the brothers to make them act that way towards you? Have you ever attempted to talk to any of the brothers about why you decided to go "inactive" for a semester? Or did you just decide to disappear, not say anything, not participate in anything with your fraternity, but still think you can have the priviledge of wearing their letters?

Sorry for double posting, but I agree. You shouldn't be wearing letters at all. Any person can get a bid from a fraternity, leave permanently or go "inactive", but that doesn't mean they can wear letters because they are not "actively" apart of that fraternity anymore.

Actually, it sounds like he has told them he does want to be apart from the fraternity, or at least they understood it that way.

OP, something doesn't sound right here. What is your status as far as your national organization is concerned?

"Deactivated" means that as far as the fraternity is concerned, you are an un-person. It's like disowning your parents. You are saying you never want anything to do with the fraternity ever again. So NO, you should NOT be wearing letters. You shouldn't even have them in your possession.

If this isn't what you did - i.e., if you went through PROPER CHANNELS (that would be your fraternity's exec board and national office) to take TEMPORARY ALUM STATUS or a LEAVE OF ABSENCE that is OFFICIALLY SANCTIONED, then yeah, the brothers are being dicks. But I kind of really don't think that's the case. I think you saw other guys doing that, but decided to be lazy and just say on your own "I'm not active right now." Greek organizations don't work that way.

With my chapter, if you ever go 'inactive,' you lose your letters. Why should someone who disaffiliated from the Fraternity be allowed to still wear letters around? What even guarantees that you're going to come back? Absolutely nothing.

You're lucky that they just ask you not to wear them. My chapter confiscates them.

ETA: 33girl, not every org has some type of temp alum status or some sort of leave of absence. I'm thinking grades were terrible and he was asked to leave for a semester or he was going to eventually phase out and deactivate soon anyway.

Oh yeah, I know that. I was just throwing him a plausability bone.

Protesting for no reason :rolleyes:

OP - If you no longer wanted to be a member, why would you want to wear letters? No one is going to shun you for taking a break to get your grades up, so you're probably lying about that. Focus on your education and not on proving a point by wearing a shirt.