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Stanleypeep 01-20-2010 03:23 AM

A unique and kind of sad recruit story
 
...That is...if you care to listen.

To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm sharing this. Perhaps I just feel the need to get it all off my chest. Or perhaps I'm seeking something I'm not sure how to describe or name.

But...I want to share my recruitment story with all of you. I recognize that some of you are "so over" recruitment stories, especially retro ones. Which is why I welcome any comments positive or negative. I just wanted to share some things with anyone willing to listen. I know from reading that 95% of you who have frequented GC over the years are very kind hearts and so I want to compliment you all in that regard. Which is partly why I feel so comfortable sharing this so...here goes.


When I was a Freshman in college, my parents discouraged me greatly from joining a GLO. They had so many negative perceptions from their own college experience back in the early 70's and very liberal mindset. Which is ironic because it seems as liberal as they are they still discouraged me from formulating my own opinions.

I didn't know anything about the Greek system before and upon entering college. During our summer orientation I was tempted to go to a Greek info session, but I was very interested in Theatre, which was my own major, so I went to the theatre info session (an ignorant waste of time...when its my own major)

I didn't think much of rushing at all. But the first day on campus I saw all these girls helping us move in wear letters. They were super nice and I didn't know a soul at my school so I was desperate to make friends.

I was already a very outgoing girl, and had made a good deal of acquaintances during orientation and the first week of school. But out of the blue without telling anyone I registered for rush, thinking hey, if I decide at the end of the week I don't want to go, I don't have to go.

I had not given it much thought at all until one of the quick friends I'd made said she was going through rush (which surprised me because she didn't seem "the type"). This intrigued me. So we both decided we would go to see what its all about in the interest of keeping an open mind. (That and by now I wanted to see the inside of these GORGEOUS houses, with my small fascination with design and architecture).

I was still teetering with going. Rush started Saturday. Its Friday,....hmmm should I go?

not to leave you all in deliberate suspense....but its late...more tomorrow

Stanleypeep 01-20-2010 02:14 PM

I must say before I continue this story that I had no clue about any history of sororities or the protocol. I was considerably overweight. I was a hefty tight 16. And to be honest, that's part of what kept me from joining rush. My RA had mentioned two horrible nicknames of the sororities, I won't say the organizations, but I'm sure you'll figure it out, one included Cow and the other Piggy. (Knowing that I'm this overweight I was terrified being accepted only by these girls after having been persecuted for my weight my whole life.)

So, on Saturday morning I woke up late. I had no intention on going to rush. I was too overweight, ugly. I'd never fit in. I was up late last night, I'm so sleepy, etc.

But...then at the last minute I looked at the time and I still had time to go if I RAN. Is it worth it? Well at the very least, I HAD to find out about what this was all about for myself.

I quickly got dressed wearing a simple jeans and t-shirt (so dumb now that I look back). It was a beautiful and relatively hot day. After seeing the weather, I was so hopeful. This will be a great experience I know it. :D

I ran up the hill looking for any information on how I could still rush. Then I actually bumped into to a group and what happened to be my Rho Chi and rush group. (1st group I met up with, kismet huh?!)

In my rush group was a girl I had made friends with at orientation! And it turned out that my friend that was rushing was also in my group!!! Wee!

So, we came back down the hill and began the first round.

I will let you all in on my little secret school and organizations at the end of this story in another post ;)

These will be movies:

A Walk to Remember
Sixteen Candles
Legally Blonde
Beaches
My Best Friend's Wedding
The Godfather
Gone With The Wind
A League of Their Own
Clueless


More to come!!!

southbymidwest 01-20-2010 02:20 PM

OK, I'm game. Looking forward to your next installment!

Stanleypeep 01-20-2010 02:24 PM

Wee thanks!!! :)

AZTheta 01-20-2010 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep (Post 1887112)
...That is...if you care to listen.

To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm sharing this. Perhaps I just feel the need to get it all off my chest. Or perhaps I'm seeking something I'm not sure how to describe or name.

But...I want to share my recruitment story with all of you. I recognize that some of you are "so over" recruitment stories, especially retro ones. Which is why I welcome any comments positive or negative. I just wanted to share some things with anyone willing to listen. I know from reading that 95% of you who have frequented GC over the years are very kind hearts and so I want to compliment you all in that regard. Which is partly why I feel so comfortable sharing this so...here goes.


When I was a Freshman in college, my parents discouraged me greatly from joining a GLO. They had so many negative perceptions from their own college experience back in the early 70's and very liberal mindset. Which is ironic because it seems as liberal as they are they still discouraged me from formulating my own opinions.

I didn't know anything about the Greek system before and upon entering college. During our summer orientation I was tempted to go to a Greek info session, but I was very interested in Theatre, which was my own major, so I went to the theatre info session (an ignorant waste of time...when its my own major)

I didn't think much of rushing at all. But the first day on campus I saw all these girls helping us move in wear letters. They were super nice and I didn't know a soul at my school so I was desperate to make friends.

I was already a very outgoing girl, and had made a good deal of acquaintances during orientation and the first week of school. But out of the blue without telling anyone I registered for rush, thinking hey, if I decide at the end of the week I don't want to go, I don't have to go.

I had not given it much thought at all until one of the quick friends I'd made said she was going through rush (which surprised me because she didn't seem "the type"). This intrigued me. So we both decided we would go to see what its all about in the interest of keeping an open mind. (That and by now I wanted to see the inside of these GORGEOUS houses, with my small fascination with design and architecture).

I was still teetering with going. Rush started Saturday. Its Friday,....hmmm should I go?

not to leave you all in deliberate suspense....but its late...more tomorrow

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep (Post 1887276)
I must say before I continue this story that I had no clue about any history of sororities or the protocol. I was considerably overweight. I was a hefty tight 16. And to be honest, that's part of what kept me from joining rush. My RA had mentioned two horrible nicknames of the sororities, I won't say the organizations, but I'm sure you'll figure it out, one included Cow and the other Piggy. (Knowing that I'm this overweight I was terrified being accepted only by these girls after having been persecuted for my weight my whole life.)

So, on Saturday morning I woke up late. I had no intention on going to rush. I was too overweight, ugly. I'd never fit in. I was up late last night, I'm so sleepy, etc.

But...then at the last minute I looked at the time and I still had time to go if I RAN. Is it worth it? Well at the very least, I HAD to find out about what this was all about for myself.

I quickly got dressed wearing a simple jeans and t-shirt (so dumb now that I look back). It was a beautiful and relatively hot day. After seeing the weather, I was so hopeful. This will be a great experience I know it. :D

I ran up the hill looking for any information on how I could still rush. Then I actually bumped into to a group and what happened to be my Rho Chi and rush group. (1st group I met up with, kismet huh?!)

In my rush group was a girl I had made friends with at orientation! And it turned out that my friend that was rushing was also in my group!!! Wee!

So, we came back down the hill and began the first round.

I will let you all in on my little secret school and organizations at the end of this story in another post ;)

These will be movies:

A Walk to Remember
Sixteen Candles
Legally Blonde
Beaches
My Best Friend's Wedding
The Godfather
Gone With The Wind
A League of Their Own
Clueless


More to come!!!

QFP

twinkle555 01-20-2010 03:17 PM

Ok youve got me hooked..more please!

shadokat 01-20-2010 03:27 PM

wtf is QFP?

thetygerlily 01-20-2010 03:30 PM

Quoted For Posterity

Stanleypeep 01-20-2010 03:41 PM

Quote:

wtf is QFP?
lol i had to look that up too.

ADPiTigergurl 01-20-2010 04:34 PM

i here tell me more...im rooting for legally blonde because well thats like my all time favorite movie, and honestly is probably part of the reason i rushed lol...ok so thats sound shallow of me but hey its the truth. ok honesty here, I actually told one group that was part of the reason i wanted to rush, the girl rushing me giggled and then told me it influenced her too.

Stanleypeep 01-20-2010 04:36 PM

Okay...so here it comes Day 1:

So we all began to chat as we walked down the hill and heading for a house I hardly knew was there. Nestled in the back of Fraternity Circle. It seemed like a quiet little house.

A Walk to Remember: This is that first house we entered. As we stood in line on the brick walkway suddenly a loud thunder of banging came from inside the house. This struck me as odd and unique and exciting. We went in to the formal room and there were a ton of girls in t-shirts and jeans. The girl I got was wearing pig-tails, but was very laidback and disappointingly quiet. She took me on a tour of the house which seemed to be a little tight quarters, but no less quaint. Then we came into the kitchen where there were vegetables and dip. They put is in the center of the formal room and gathered in a circle and said a prayer and then recited one of their poems. This house didn't really strike me as the place for me as they were a bit too quiet.

Then we continued down the hill to what I would call one of the only 2 "modern" houses in all of frat circle.

Sixteen Candles: The chanting and screaming in this house were WAY more exciting. I remember really loving the foyer of this house. The girl I was paired with was in one of my classes which was a huge lecture hall, but she recognized me!!! I took this as a huge compliment. Then again I tend to stand out, I'm a redhead so I suppose that helps the whole rush process as it is. She was super nice and then handed me off to another girl. I remember all of the girls in this house being really sweet and since I talk a lot I didn't have trouble getting along. They all seemed to love me and I remember one girl cutting off their process to take me over to the President who looked like the most average girl next door, very smart and sweet. I remember this because I don't remember any of the other girls in the group being introduced to the President. After sitting in the Formal room we moved over to the Chapter room, which was by far the most laid back room in the house (and most laid back chapter room of all of the houses for that matter) I felt really comfortable in their, but then I saw a few girls and some of it seemed a little too forced and overly bubbly after a bit. We watched a video and then we left as they chanted a cheer I stll remember some of the words to to this day.

Legally Blonde: I remember entering this house recognizing the only Theatre girl I'd seen in the Greek system. She was GORGEOUS. We'll call her Jackalyn. I didn't really know her very well and frankly she came off very stand-offish and snobby. The same was true of the rest of the girls in the house. They were all the blondest most beautiful girls you ever did see. The first girl who rushed me took me on a house tour. She took one look at me and rolled her eyes. This disapointed me greatly. But I didn't think much of it because hey, not everyone is right for each organization, and besides, who needs people like that? We had a brief very superficial chat and then I met the next girl. The next girl was actually super nice to me, we didn't have much in common, like she began to talk about going running and going to the gym, but we held conversation for good measure. Then they took us downstairs to show us a slide show and a video. They seemed a good fit for each other and the house was BEAUTIFUL, but I knew not only did I have no shot of being invited back, but I don't think I would have preferred to. Their reputation was fab, but I didn't see that it was warranted.

I left day one with still a REALLY great feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew that I really liked Sixteen Candles, but was worried about their reputation. However, I knew they would still wind up in my top groups. Being a math wiz that I am, I figured top 1 out of every day if there are 9 chapters (oh yeah look at me 3 times 3 is 9 :P)

Day 2 still to come!!!

thetygerlily 01-20-2010 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep (Post 1887332)
Okay...so here it comes Day 1:

So we all began to chat as we walked down the hill and heading for a house I hardly knew was there. Nestled in the back of Fraternity Circle. It seemed like a quiet little house.

A Walk to Remember: This is that first house we entered. As we stood in line on the brick walkway suddenly a loud thunder of banging came from inside the house. This struck me as odd and unique and exciting. We went in to the formal room and there were a ton of girls in t-shirts and jeans. The girl I got was wearing pig-tails, but was very laidback and disappointingly quiet. She took me on a tour of the house which seemed to be a little tight quarters, but no less quaint. Then we came into the kitchen where there were vegetables and dip. They put is in the center of the formal room and gathered in a circle and said a prayer and then recited one of their poems. This house didn't really strike me as the place for me as they were a bit too quiet.

Then we continued down the hill to what I would call one of the only 2 "modern" houses in all of frat circle.

Sixteen Candles: The chanting and screaming in this house were WAY more exciting. I remember really loving the foyer of this house. The girl I was paired with was in one of my classes which was a huge lecture hall, but she recognized me!!! I took this as a huge compliment. Then again I tend to stand out, I'm a redhead so I suppose that helps the whole rush process as it is. She was super nice and then handed me off to another girl. I remember all of the girls in this house being really sweet and since I talk a lot I didn't have trouble getting along. They all seemed to love me and I remember one girl cutting off their process to take me over to the President who looked like the most average girl next door, very smart and sweet. I remember this because I don't remember any of the other girls in the group being introduced to the President. After sitting in the Formal room we moved over to the Chapter room, which was by far the most laid back room in the house (and most laid back chapter room of all of the houses for that matter) I felt really comfortable in their, but then I saw a few girls and some of it seemed a little too forced and overly bubbly after a bit. We watched a video and then we left as they chanted a cheer I stll remember some of the words to to this day.

Legally Blonde: I remember entering this house recognizing the only Theatre girl I'd seen in the Greek system. She was GORGEOUS. We'll call her Jackalyn. I didn't really know her very well and frankly she came off very stand-offish and snobby. The same was true of the rest of the girls in the house. They were all the blondest most beautiful girls you ever did see. The first girl who rushed me took me on a house tour. She took one look at me and rolled her eyes. This disapointed me greatly. But I didn't think much of it because hey, not everyone is right for each organization, and besides, who needs people like that? We had a brief very superficial chat and then I met the next girl. The next girl was actually super nice to me, we didn't have much in common, like she began to talk about going running and going to the gym, but we held conversation for good measure. Then they took us downstairs to show us a slide show and a video. They seemed a good fit for each other and the house was BEAUTIFUL, but I knew not only did I have no shot of being invited back, but I don't think I would have preferred to. Their reputation was fab, but I didn't see that it was warranted.

I left day one with still a REALLY great feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew that I really liked Sixteen Candles, but was worried about their reputation. However, I knew they would still wind up in my top groups. Being a math wiz that I am, I figured top 1 out of every day if there are 9 chapters (oh yeah look at me 3 times 3 is 9 :P)

Day 2 still to come!!!

Only 3 houses per day, stretched over 3 days? That seems to be stretched out an awful lot. Especially since it starts on a Saturday... you'd think they'd fit all nine in two days at the most, if not one action-packed day. Interesting.

phi.sig.love 01-20-2010 05:32 PM

more please :-)

KSUViolet06 01-20-2010 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thetygerlily (Post 1887348)
Only 3 houses per day, stretched over 3 days? That seems to be stretched out an awful lot. Especially since it starts on a Saturday... you'd think they'd fit all nine in two days at the most, if not one action-packed day. Interesting.

Indeed.

twinkle555 01-20-2010 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep (Post 1887332)
Okay...so here it comes Day 1:

So we all began to chat as we walked down the hill and heading for a house I hardly knew was there. Nestled in the back of Fraternity Circle. It seemed like a quiet little house.

A Walk to Remember: This is that first house we entered. As we stood in line on the brick walkway suddenly a loud thunder of banging came from inside the house. This struck me as odd and unique and exciting. We went in to the formal room and there were a ton of girls in t-shirts and jeans. The girl I got was wearing pig-tails, but was very laidback and disappointingly quiet. She took me on a tour of the house which seemed to be a little tight quarters, but no less quaint. Then we came into the kitchen where there were vegetables and dip. They put is in the center of the formal room and gathered in a circle and said a prayer and then recited one of their poems. This house didn't really strike me as the place for me as they were a bit too quiet.

What? Really? Is that normal? Even so, rather "formal/Pref-y" for the first day.

KSUViolet06 01-20-2010 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkle555 (Post 1887361)
What? Really? Is that normal? Even so, rather "formal/Pref-y" for the first day.

That is rather odd, for Day 1 of recruitment.

AOEforme 01-20-2010 06:05 PM

Where do/did you go to school? I'm curious....

There are several things your campus does interesting with recruitment such as:

* Only 3 of 9 houses on Day 1. For instance, my school (with 12 sororities) does all chapters on Day 1..... While this is not the only way to do it, I've never heard of a school spacing it out this much and am curious to know the reasoning behind it. Especially as this is a Saturday, I would think you'd have time....

* Do you rank every day? Or was this just how you were doing it?
Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep (Post 1887112)
Being a math wiz that I am, I figured top 1 out of every day if there are 9 chapters (oh yeah look at me 3 times 3 is 9 :P)

* Did you really get to go in all the chapter rooms? That (from my experiences, which granted, is a blur from four years ago) seems odd.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep (Post 1887112)
After sitting in the Formal room we moved over to the Chapter room, which was by far the most laid back room in the house (and most laid back chapter room of all of the houses for that matter)!

*The dining at A Walk to Remember also seems odd, but maybe your school doesn't have no frills recruitment...... or maybe they like to stand out?

Finally, I'm perplexed by the odd name to your story and that

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep (Post 1887112)
To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm sharing this. Perhaps I just feel the need to get it all off my chest. Or perhaps I'm seeking something I'm not sure how to describe or name.


chickenoodle 01-20-2010 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep (Post 1887112)
When I was a Freshman in college, my parents discouraged me greatly from joining a GLO. They had so many negative perceptions from their own college experience back in the early 70's and very liberal mindset. Which is ironic because it seems as liberal as they are they still discouraged me from formulating my own opinions.

Her parents were in college in the 70's.

ETA: Never mind. I was responding to a post that seems to no longer be a part of this thread. Sorry...

APhiAnna 01-20-2010 06:24 PM

A prayer during recruitment? Only three out of nine houses in one day? The token overly bitchy "pretty girl" who rolls her eyes when she sees you?

KSUViolet06 01-20-2010 06:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by APhiAnna (Post 1887372)
A prayer during recruitment? Only three out of nine houses in one day? The token overly bitchy "pretty girl" who rolls her eyes when she sees you?

I know, right?

How odd it is that someone who has never met you before recruitment rolls her eyes at you and hates your guts.

APhiAnna 01-20-2010 06:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06 (Post 1887373)
I know, right?

How odd it is that someone who has never met you before recruitment rolls her eyes at you and hates your guts.

Also too, when is anybody that overtly rude during recruitment? I once had to rush a girl who I knew prior to rush and did NOT get along with (and that's a bit of an understatement). You can bet I was as sweet as sunshine to her during recruitment, simply because we might have wanted her roommate, best friend, etc. I'm not saying it never happens, but I feel that most of the time that "rude" girl (if she exists) isn't actually being rude, the PNM is putting their nervousness or insecurity onto the active's actions and viewing it as rude when it wasn't intended to be.

Stanleypeep 01-20-2010 07:10 PM

Before I continue I just wanna respond to some of the questions...

Quote:

What? Really? Is that normal? Even so, rather "formal/Pref-y" for the first day.
To be honest I had the same reaction. I didn't know if this was normal or not. It was kinda cool, but the content of the prayer seemed a bit too religious. For the record that didn't happen in any other house.

Quote:

* Only 3 of 9 houses on Day 1. For instance, my school (with 12 sororities) does all chapters on Day 1..... While this is not the only way to do it, I've never heard of a school spacing it out this much and am curious to know the reasoning behind it. Especially as this is a Saturday, I would think you'd have time....
I'm not sure why Panhel did it that way. But it was 3 days, 3 houses, then we filled out a pref card 2 days after the last day of round 1...(Wednesday)...I'll get into that later. I'll tell you my school at the end of the story, because I just don't want to give it all away right off the bat. ;)

Quote:

* Do you rank every day? Or was this just how you were doing it?
That was just me :)

Quote:

* Did you really get to go in all the chapter rooms? That (from my experiences, which granted, is a blur from four years ago) seems odd.
I did actually...all the formal rooms and the chapter rooms.

Quote:

How odd it is that someone who has never met you before recruitment rolls her eyes at you and hates your guts.
I completely agree with this. Yes it did strike me as not only odd, but rude, unprofessional, and downright petty. To me it seems like there are only 2 logical reasons, the first is more likely 1) maybe she was tired or some inside issue was going on or 2) my weight? it could just be me being self-conscious, I tend to think its the former, because I overanalyze things WAY too much. Part of the sad part of this story....you'll understand when i finish it.

Quote:

I feel that most of the time that "rude" girl (if she exists) isn't actually being rude, the PNM is putting their nervousness or insecurity onto the active's actions and viewing it as rude when it wasn't intended to be.
This is probably true for me. I more willing to admit it because I know myself well enough now, but keep in my this is also a long time ago and these are memories I have.

Dinner time...Day 2 coming TONIGHT!!!

Stanleypeep 01-20-2010 07:27 PM

Okay, Day 2 WEE!!!

[COLOR="Lime"]Beaches[/COLOR]: This house truly looked like a beach house too!!! The girl I met first was probably one of the "realist" girls I've ever met. She was so sweet. We just could NOT stop talking, we had SO much in common and she was so nice. We got into a discussion about boys, and gay boyfriends and fashion. It was so fun. She and I just hit it off right away. She even hugged me before I left, I knew we'd be friends. I really knew I belonged here. I couldn't WAIT to get invited back.

My Best Friend's Wedding: The girl rushing me went to my High School!!! Awesome! We actually had no idea until halfway into conversation, but we had SO much to talk about. She was really sweet and really chill. We talked about places we know and I told her how I don't know anyone and it was refreshing to see someone who knows where I come from. She encouraged me about the girls in the house and that the whole campus was fabulous. She didn't live in the house she lived "down the line" (hint to those wondering about the school) by the beach like a lot of Seniors. So we talked about that and beachy stuff. Loved it. Couldn't wait to go back!!

The Godfather: The girls here much like in Legally Blonde didn't click with me. I took my tour with very forced conversation. She had short answers for my questions, kinda curt. Then we went into the Chapter Room where we watched a slide show. The chapter room was really barren to me. And I was the only girl left not talking to anyone. After we got into the chapter room, the girl rushing me walked away with little explanation and I felt as though I were struggling to find someone to talk to or even make eye contact. Everyone just seemed well occupied, perhaps the other girls in my rush group really clicked with them. I just didn't.

I left Day 2 feeling FABULOUS. If nothing else, I knew I found 2 fabulous houses and 2 fabulous potential new friends. LOVE IT!

I was so excited and proud of myself. And proud to be a part of Greek life. It was turning out to be nothing like I expected on both the positive and negative ends of the spectrum. It was a huge boost to my confidence!

Day 3....stay tuned...

FSUZeta 01-20-2010 08:15 PM

at my daughter's school there are 5 sororities and for the first two days of recruitment, pnms attend events at two or three sororities on one night and if they attend 3 parties the first night attend 2 parties and have a break the 2nd night-if they attend 2 parties the first night with a break, they attend 3 the 2nd night. i think they do it this way due to fire safety codes.

in addition, the parties are held in the chapter rooms-the university owns the buildings that each sorority is housed in while the sororities own the formal parlor, guest bathrooms, kitchen and chapter room. the chapter rooms are the biggest rooms with several different seating areas, a grand piano and a dining table with chairs. it usually includes an entertainment area with a tv and stereo at one end of the room. all the seating is moved out during formal recruitment and during rituals.

none of the sororities served any type of refreshments for any parties.

33girl 01-20-2010 08:21 PM

Quote:

My RA had mentioned two horrible nicknames of the sororities, I won't say the organizations, but I'm sure you'll figure it out, one included Cow and the other Piggy.
Nice. I won't mention it, but I'll be sure to say the nicknames so you can go through all 26 groups and figure it out.

Ditto the SRSLY? on the prayer. Unless it's a very churchy church related school I can't imagine a group this day & age that would do that at pref, let alone open house day. (Unless the Achtung Juden sign didn't get finished early enough.)

I can't wait till she gets to the Godfather pref party and finds a dead horse head in the cheesecake.

TriDeltaSallie 01-20-2010 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl (Post 1887449)
Ditto the SRSLY? on the prayer. Unless it's a very churchy church related school I can't imagine a group this day & age that would do that at pref, let alone open house day.

Could be Alpha Delta Chi, the Christian sorority. Do they participate in open house rounds? And many of their chapters are in SoCal so the beach thing might make sense...

Just a thought...

ellebud 01-20-2010 09:02 PM

TriDeltaSallie: You are totally correct. My friend's daughter went through recruitment that included a Christian house. They did, in fact said grace (or a prayer) during the party. Daughter is Jewish, knew this wasn't for her. But I am sure that there were some pnms who knew that this was for them.

I also know that, depending on what time of day/where the school is the idea of spreading houses over more days can help the pnm. My older daughter had to miss (or chose to miss) recruitment on the first night due to class conflict. She informed Panhellenic and her Rho Chis far in advance of the start of recruitment. This class met once a week and was given once every 4 years. (If any of you doubt this I will be delighted to give the class name/school/reasoning.) My daughter was summarily dropped from every house of the five on the first night. No do overs. This may give pnms the opportunity to go to class and to have a full recruitment.

Comment: Can't read the yellow...old eyes you know.

DrPhil 01-20-2010 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud (Post 1887470)
This class met once a week and was given once every 4 years. (If any of you doubt this I will be delighted to give the class name/school/reasoning.)

This isn't too unheard of.

VandalSquirrel 01-20-2010 09:16 PM

I say east coast school (due to the OP saying she lived in Massachusetts and worked in Rhode Island), and that the school is URI.

oncegreek 01-20-2010 09:21 PM

Could the "prayer" that was said at one house actually be the purpose, ie., like Alpha Gam has, or symphony, like other chapters have? Some chapters have something like that, and when recited, it can sound like a prayer.

AXiDMeesh 01-20-2010 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oncegreek (Post 1887483)
Could the "prayer" that was said at one house actually be the purpose, ie., like Alpha Gam has, or symphony, like other chapters have? Some chapters have something like that, and when recited, it can sound like a prayer.

True, but is it normal for chapters to recite their symphonies at non-pref parties?

epchick 01-20-2010 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel (Post 1887480)
I say east coast school (due to the OP saying she lived in Massachusetts and worked in Rhode Island), and that the school is URI.

Well she did say she only lived in MA for 2 years.


I'm leaning more towards west coast, only cause she mentioned a beach (and yes, i do know that there are beaches on the east coast. But when I hear 'beach' I think west coast, more specifically CA).

annabella 01-20-2010 10:58 PM

There was a house at Mizzou when I went through that sang to us on Open House Day. All the sisters in the room left their girls on cue and lined the walls, singing us a song as we sat there befuddled.

It was weird as hell.

Stanleypeep 01-20-2010 11:13 PM

So I can tell this has certainly incited interest on both sides of the spectrum. A few things regarding the prayer. I'm not really sure what this was but, for me someone who's not particularly religious there was use of the word God. I wasn't offended, if anything just proud of them for allowing that to be such a strong part of their sisterhood, but I was surprised it was as apparent as it was. It probably wasn't meant to be, but I just happened to notice.

The end of the first half of this story is upon us. (Yes "first half") So, without further ado....

The beginning of Day 3 was actually the only day after a full day of classes, so I was kind of tired (I tended to tire easily those days...I was ill...another story entirely). And my friend who had been the one who encouraged me to go through rush dropped! :( This made me sad, but it confirmed what I had originally thought I would have been surprised if she decided to pledge a house in the end. But it didn't matter because I had met some great girls in my rush group along with the rest of the process.

So this began with the house I'd been waiting for the entire time I was rushing. It was the first thing I'd seen when I came to visit the campus as a Senior and anyone on campus will tell you the house is nothing but the epitome of elegance.

[COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]Gone With The Wind[/COLOR]: All of the girls in my rush group were incredibly nervous, including myself. I didn't really know what to expect. I walked into the dining room where I was met up with a very sweet girl next door girl again. Which totally inspired me and changed my opinion about the entire chapter instantly. We took a tour through the house with its beautiful carpeting and layout. Then we went down into the chapter room which was incredibly cozy. I got such a warm fuzzy calm feeling being in this house which was great because it settled my nerves. I would have loved to have been a part of them. They seemed so nice and they seemed to like me, but I really doubted I would have been asked back due to competition. Would have been an honor though.

A League of Their Own: When I walked into this house I just felt...sad. Like not disappointed because they were mean, but almost like they really needed me. The house was new to them and they were all SO incredibly nice. The house wasn't much of a mention. And I wasn't sure how long they'd stay there since the chapter was so small so I didn't really think much of it. I had a really great connection with these girls. The girl who rushed me seemed to be saying in not so many words. "Please pledge us!!! Please!! We really need you!!!" And I really liked them. I left feeling like I could have a really strong future leadership wise in this chapter.

And last but certainly not least I reached

[B]Clueless: This house was beautiful much like Gone with the Wind. I came in and every single girl was gorgeous. I thought right off I had a strike against me, but I could have been wrong. I didn't have great conversations with the girls in this house. They seemed a little cold, but I guarantee they were tired as this was the last house on the last day. We watched a video with the Legally Blonde theme (finally!! I thought at the time with it being so current that this would have happened more than it did, so bravo for actually doing it!) The house was cute and when we went upstairs one of the girls in the room had set up a separate little cove where her bed and personal space was! It was like an eave or something under a stair it was really really neat. So I figured these girls were creative, a bit stagnant, but definitely creative!


So now I was faced with a decision. I had 2 days to submit 6 out of 9.

So, Tuesday passed. Then finally Wednesday. Wee! I went in in the morning before class to the Panhel office and filled out my form in order.

1. Beaches
2. My Best Friend's Wedding
3. Gone With the Wind
4. Sixteen Candles
5. Clueless
6. A League of Their Own

Part 2 coming up!!

kddani 01-20-2010 11:16 PM

This thread just doesn't sit right with me for so many reasons. And it hasn't since I read the title and first post.

epchick 01-20-2010 11:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep (Post 1887547)
So I can tell this has certainly incited interest on both sides of the spectrum. A few things regarding the prayer. I'm not really sure what this was but, for me someone who's not particularly religious there was use of the word God. I wasn't offended, if anything just proud of them for allowing that to be such a strong part of their sisterhood, but I was surprised it was as apparent as it was. It probably wasn't meant to be, but I just happened to notice.

The end of the first half of this story is upon us. (Yes "first half") So, without further ado....

The beginning of Day 3 was actually the only day after a full day of classes, so I was kind of tired (I tended to tire easily those days...I was ill...another story entirely). And my friend who had been the one who encouraged me to go through rush dropped! :( This made me sad, but it confirmed what I had originally thought I would have been surprised if she decided to pledge a house in the end. But it didn't matter because I had met some great girls in my rush group along with the rest of the process.

So this began with the house I'd been waiting for the entire time I was rushing. It was the first thing I'd seen when I came to visit the campus as a Senior and anyone on campus will tell you the house is nothing but the epitome of elegance.

[COLOR="rgb(153, 50, 204)"]Gone With The Wind[/COLOR]: All of the girls in my rush group were incredibly nervous, including myself. I didn't really know what to expect. I walked into the dining room where I was met up with a very sweet girl next door girl again. Which totally inspired me and changed my opinion about the entire chapter instantly. We took a tour through the house with its beautiful carpeting and layout. Then we went down into the chapter room which was incredibly cozy. I got such a warm fuzzy calm feeling being in this house which was great because it settled my nerves. I would have loved to have been a part of them. They seemed so nice and they seemed to like me, but I really doubted I would have been asked back due to competition. Would have been an honor though.

A League of Their Own: When I walked into this house I just felt...sad. Like not disappointed because they were mean, but almost like they really needed me. The house was new to them and they were all SO incredibly nice. The house wasn't much of a mention. And I wasn't sure how long they'd stay there since the chapter was so small so I didn't really think much of it. I had a really great connection with these girls. The girl who rushed me seemed to be saying in not so many words. "Please pledge us!!! Please!! We really need you!!!" And I really liked them. I left feeling like I could have a really strong future leadership wise in this chapter.

And last but certainly not least I reached

[B]Clueless: This house was beautiful much like Gone with the Wind. I came in and every single girl was gorgeous. I thought right off I had a strike against me, but I could have been wrong. I didn't have great conversations with the girls in this house. They seemed a little cold, but I guarantee they were tired as this was the last house on the last day. We watched a video with the Legally Blonde theme (finally!! I thought at the time with it being so current that this would have happened more than it did, so bravo for actually doing it!) The house was cute and when we went upstairs one of the girls in the room had set up a separate little cove where her bed and personal space was! It was like an eave or something under a stair it was really really neat. So I figured these girls were creative, a bit stagnant, but definitely creative!


So now I was faced with a decision. I had 2 days to submit 6 out of 9.

So, Tuesday passed. Then finally Wednesday. Wee! I went in in the morning before class to the Panhel office and filled out my form in order.

1. Beaches
2. My Best Friend's Wedding
3. Gone With the Wind
4. Sixteen Candles
5. Clueless
6. A League of Their Own

Part 2 coming up!!

Only done w/ the first half? wow.


....and a sickness? hmmm....

gee_ess 01-20-2010 11:32 PM

I think it sounds genuine - very different type of recruitment than I am used to, but so far, I am on board...

ellebud 01-20-2010 11:34 PM

Mono--the scourge of Freshman?

dukemama 01-21-2010 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ellebud (Post 1887561)
Mono--the scourge of Freshman?

That's what I was thinking, too. A friend of mine got it freshman year and was laid out for at least 2 months - part of that time in the infirmary in quarantine!

Stanleypeep 01-21-2010 12:28 PM

So here we are, the finale. It will be a long one so hang in there if you're still with me.

Wednesday afternoon I went to class after having filled out my preference card. I was incredibly nervous. What if none of those houses wanted me? What if I said something and insulted someone without realizing it? What if I was right all along...that someone like me could NEVER be accepted by such perfect girls that I wanted so much to be friends with.

I began having a horrible anxiety attack. Having been in the theatre so many years as an actress and having been treated like a stone that could be kicked around in my youth by the "mean girls" of high school and middle school, fear set in. When I came back from class I went about my evening alone. Quiet. In my room. Alone. My roommate was never ever there. She was from the area and had quite a few friends and a brand new boyfriend. Even though we had hit it off right away, her boyfriend and I didn't and so I never really saw her.

So there I was scared to death. Waiting for Thursday morning preference cards for Round 2. I went to class and came back. Went to class. Came back. And then it came time for me to go to the Panhel office. Instant Panic. I couldn't pull myself together. I was in my room alone and I started crying. Lying on my bed I was having some kind of nervous breakdown. What the hell? Did it really matter to me THAT much what people thought, what these girls thought? And if it did, was it this worth it to react this way?

I wish I could say I had the courage at that time to overcome that fear. But I made probably one of the smartest, but a decision I still regret. I decided that first of all, I was NOT in a state to make a good impression. And second of all, if I wanted so much to be friendly with these girls and be a part of a specific organization, it may be best to do it the only way I know how, where I'm comfortable in my own skin. Outside of their houses. I received a phone call from the President of Panhel, and also the President of one of the sororities asking me to come down and take my preference schedule. I declined. She sounded disappointed and said, "Are you sure?" I confirmed. An instant weight lifted off my shoulders.

What a cop out, girl. But, I know it was a good decision. I wish I had the courage to find out "who wanted me", but I know in my heart that my emotional being just cannot handle that kind of rejection anymore. It wasn't good for me.

However, after all that I'd gone through and after it completely enthralling me, I still wanted so much to be a part of a chapter. I wanted to pledge. But I wanted these girls to be friends of mine. I wanted to meet them all outside of their comfort zones and bring them into mine. By me reaching out and going out on campus and getting to know not just them but EVERYONE I could. I wasn't a shy girl by any means. I mean hey I was a theatre major! And people did like me. Now it was just a matter of how the rest of the semester went and where I fell in the University as a whole.

The rest of formal recruitment came and went. I tried very hard not to think about it by occupying myself with schoolwork, such as auditions, and class and rehearsing with scene partners and the like.

Two of the girls in my freshman acting class had gone through formal recruitment. I had no idea!! One of the girls decided to pledge Clueless while the other was pledging Legally Blonde. Cool! Good for them. I was proud.

As the semester went on, I started getting to know girls in different houses. Turned out that as I got to know all of them and who went where in my Rush group and other girls I met that I didn't meet during rush, I could very well have been very wrong about a lot of the girls. Specifically, the [COLOR="rgb(255, 140, 0)"]Legally Blonde[/COLOR] and Clueless girls.

Another girl in my dorm hall was pledging My Best Friend's Wedding. So I decided that come spring I will decide will go through informal rush with one or two houses of girls that I'm already familiar with and from there decide where I fit best.

Christmas came. My grandfather was diagnosed with cancer overnight. Due to his age, it was only a matter of time. But I ignored all the signs of him being ill and was positive he would recover.

The spring semester began. It was late January and the first week of classes I had to go through our required departmental auditions. I wound up getting cast in one of the shows as a Freshman. I was ecstatic. But I was still determined to do what my heart set out to do. I was determined to pledge.

By this time, there was a new girl living next door to me. I had a few houses in mind that I had wanted to revisit. Beaches was on the top of my list. But I had also gotten to know a lot of girls in Sixteen Candles. My Best Friend's Wedding was also somewhere I wanted to go.

This time around it was informal rush. Just specific parties for specific houses and they overlapped. The girl in my hall and I decided we were going to go to Sixteen Candles together. I wanted to go to Beaches, but was incredibly heartbroken when I couldn't for the life of me get information on their rush parties.

I had plans to go to My Best Friend's wedding the following evening. So, my hallmate, we'll call her Nicky and I went to to Sixteen Candles. When I walked in I was surprised at how much I remembered! And, to my surprise how many of the girls I was already well acquainted with. 4 of the girls that had been in my rush group were in the house, they had pledged in the fall :). The girl I had met at orientation that was in my rush group was there as well. I knew so many of them! I was so excited. All of them were so happy to see me there. I instantly felt at home. They were already my friends. I didn't want to leave.

Throughout rush I met even more of the chapter and by the end of rush felt as though I knew each of them very well. During some of the parties I seemed to be the entertainment, making all of the rushees and the girls laugh.

I didn't even think about it. I didn't rush any other house. And my hallmate and I were thrilled to find under our door on Bids Day a bid from

SIXTEEN CANDLES

All freshman year if you had asked me up to then if I thought I would be pledging, I never thought it would be Sixteen Candles. But I was proud. Excited. And very happy.

That was the highlight.

They decorated my door and all the girls in my pledge class and I had gotten to know each other very well during rush. We were all happy to be there.

On Bid night, one of the girls in my pledge class that I had become very friendly with made a joke, which I happened to find inconsequential. One of the girls in the chapter found incredible offense to it, and the next day when we had our first night at the house, we were all sad to find that she had been kicked out of our pledge class. I was shocked. It didn't seem right to me. I didn't see that she'd done anything wrong, but there was nothing I could do about it.

That same night there was another girl in my pledge class, one of the girls I didn't know very well, who just steered our pledge class in the wrong direction. There were activities that I simply didn't agree with and neither did the girls in my pledge class who I had become very friendly with.

The following morning I had gotten no sleep. I had an 8am class and I had rehearsal that evening. On my way to class my mother called me. My grandfather had had a stroke from the Chemo and was in the hospital. Everything was starting to fall apart.

After rehearsal that night, I did a lot of soul searching.

I spent one more night at my house and again, its a shame, but one girl was ruining my experience. I didn't tell anyone that I had a problem with her actions. A couple of the girls I was really friendly with after that depledged. They were the girls I personally thought I had found the most connections with in my pledge class.

I had made so many friends from this experience and the upperclassmen that were there were girls I loved. But they all seemed to approve of her actions. This depressed me greatly. I went upstairs and had a conversation with our New Member Advisor. In tears I explained to her that there was too much happening. I didn't want to be missing rehearsals nor did I want to miss Big/Little night. I didn't want to let my family down, but I needed to be there for them, (both the house and my real family).

Tearfully, I depledged. She gave me a huge hug and understood. We said that perhaps when things are better, I can return in the fall.

My grandfather passed the following week. My mental and physical health began to deteriorate. And now I had no place to live the following semester. I became friendly with this girl in my dorm who had rushed Sixteen Candles and didn't receive a bid. We got together and moved into the dorms with another girl the following year.

That fall I was determined to try again and go back. But one night after having been out at a fraternity party, I got very sick. I had the shakes and I was crying and I was up all night with some other rather vivid details that I won't share.

Time passed and I became diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes. Because of all of my commitments to my major that required more than just attendance to class and homework, and with my illness. It was virtually impossible to return.

The girl who was supposed to be my Big the previous year and I remained friends throughout all of college. Everytime I had the opportunity to spend time or stop and say hello to the girls I would. They all felt very sad that I could not be apart of their organization, but to be honest, even though I depledged and even thought I had other obligations, I never felt like I wasn't. Everytime I saw them, it was as though nothing had happened other than friendship.

Both they and I had expected to have a sister who was fantastic leader. Instead what we both got were fabulous friends, with or the actual sisterhood.

I'm really glad I shared this tale with you all. I do regret some of the things that happened, but sometimes life just gets in the way, and you don't really have room for all the things you want. I'm still friendly with some of the girls to this day. And I have nothing but respect for all of the girls in all of the chapters.

Thanks for listening guys, its bittersweet to talk to you all. I wish I were still a part of the organization or one of them, but sometimes things just aren't meant to be.


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