does being greek help you to find relationships?
 

whats up guys? ive been lurking here for a while, and researching a little bit about going greek. i am a student at a state school with a greek system that makes up the minority of the population -- im a freshman, and i really dont feel like i fit in here at all like i did in high school. i have less friends, less people that i can really relate to, and worst of all, less prospects when it comes to dating. i probably should have gone to a larger, i guess you could say more "elite" institution, but i am unable to transfer schools (for reasons i wont go into here).

i found the greek system at the beginning of the year, and socially, the fraternity ive been hanging out with the most has been nothing great -- a real diamond in the rough i guess you could say. im gonna rush in the spring for sure, and if i get a bid i think it will be very beneficial to me socially. the one question i have though, is how beneficial? did many of you find your SOs through the greek system? did you find many friends in general, or was it limited to just your house?

thanks a lot

None of this post makes any sense.

You are hanging out with a fraternity that you say is "nothing great". If you think so lowly of them, why are you hanging out there? You're bashing a group with whom you plan to rush.

From your post, your primary goal is to get a higher social standing on campus and presumably to make you more appealing to women. I can assure you that this type of personal agenda is usually pretty transparent, and very off-putting. Sure, we join these organizations for many reasons, but going into it with the attitude of "what can they do for me?" is the wrong approach.

As for blaming your lack of social success on the school's "less-than-elite" status, that's a lame excuse. Life is what you make of it.

I don't think anything will improve your number/quality of relationships if you keep acting like a dick.

lol, that was just a typo. i meant "nothing but great." my bad. i definitely wouldnt join and pay all those dues to anything that wasnt great.

ordinarily i dont struggle socially, or atleast i didnt before. but im in a new environment filled with people that im just not used to being around. i dont wanna go into too much detail about it, but maybe i came across wrong when i said it "wasn't elite enough." i was just trying to point out that its not a big sec school or something like i know a lot of you are probably at.

Give me one reason why you're having a hard time getting a chick without going greek. If you can't get chicks outside of being greek, you won't inside either. Grow some balls and have fun dude.

Interesting screen name, OP.

Thank goodness! :p

I kid, I kid!

Well, I see you're not letting your impending fatherhood foster any inconvenient maturity. :rolleyes:

^^^I see you're still being the same fucktard you always have been by continuing to throw old unnecessary shit in my face. Grow up dipshit.

Yet you're the one acting like an immature horny teenager. Interesting choice of words.

I did grow up. Years ago. That's why I don't talk about "getting chicks" anymore.

lol lol
Hilarious!

To quote the movie Cool Runnings, OP: "If you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."

If you really have problems with girls try asking the guys in the fraternity to help you out. I'll admit it I'm not the best with girls but one of my buddies is helping me out and its working. The thing is he is helping with issues that concern my own self. You need to conquer the self before you will get anywhere in relationships.

I'm sure your wife appreciates that, too.:D

It will help you because you always have a group to hang out with, you will get more respect from the fraternity boys. I am a newly initiated member of Delta Zeta and at first when i got to college i hung out with people but once i joined DZ i started hanging out at the Pike house (Pi Kappa Alpha). and i met the guy of my dreams there! im not guranteeing anything but it helps.

I think being greek definitely helps as far as dating goes. Generally you are going to have significantly more social opportunities to meet someone special. I met my husband through the greek system. Our houses were right next door to each other :)

Nothing else should ever define you in life. Anything else that comes along should always be 'extra'.

As others stated, if your game wasn't tight before you got letters, it surely won't be after.

If someone is with JUST for your letters, that should tell you how weak your game is.

Being in a social fraternity will only help your social skills. But as the others have said, if you are having a lot of social problems now (not saying you actually are) then a fraternity can only do so much. I personally did not have a lot of new friends when I started college. I was still hanging out with good friends from high school whom attended the same college. However, I have always been able to make friends quickly. So, when I rushed I instantly made tons of new, great, friends and now brothers. So, if you have the capability of making friends easily then it will be great for you.

As with girls.. I have to side with the others. Just because swaps, date parties, and parties in general are thrown in your face doesnt mean you will have a great chance of "hooking up" or a relationship if you werent already good at it. As some of the ladies here can tell you, sorority girls are mostly not too quiet, reserved, and up against the wall during a dance/party. So if you are, they probably wont be interested. That doesnt mean that you can not learn social confidence from a fraternity. That is probably the best place to actually learn it from. Good luck in wherever you go if you do.

I thought that being Greek tended to help boys and maybe hurt girls a little.

If you are a shyer or less socially adept boy, being greek will allow you access to parties, socials, events etc that you wouldn't normally be invited and which will give more opportunities to meet women.

Also being greek will expose you to the same women over and over again making you familiar and safe. Thus increasing the likelihood that one will find you more attractive because of the exposure principle.

So yes, being greek will make it much more likely you will date. And probably date "up" so to speak.