Porno Lead-ins . . .
 

OK, we all know a few of these - the utterly ridiculous porno lead-ins, you know, the ones that should be followed by *BOW CHICKA BOW WOW* . . . lets hear 'em kids . . . here's a few:

-"I'm here to fix the cable?"
-"Can my friend Kandi come along?"
-"Why yes, I'd love a lollipop . . ."
-"I'm here to fix the pool . . . "
"But, we don't have a pool . . ."
-"You're not my usual milkman . . . "
-"My water's turned off - can I use your shower?"

Funniest stuff ever - great to drop into conversations for no reason (followed, of course, by *BOW CHICKA BOW WOW*) . . .

I have to got to say I almost died laughing when I saw you had typed "Bow Chicka Bow Wow." My guy friends from high school ALWAYS said that...and here I thought it was just a local thing from NE PA ;)

KSig RC you know way to much about porn. You could be the Siskel and Ebert of porn.

the ups man rings the doorbell...

Excuse me ma'am, but I have a large package to deliver

"Could you help me - I have a leaky faucet." (Bow chicka bow wow)

"Can you help me find my snake? It was just here a minute ago." (Bow chicka bow wow)

I once walked into one of my guy friends' houses unannounced just in time to hear...

"Pizza delivery, ma'am."

"There must be some mistake. I didn't order a pizza."

BOW CHICKA BOW WOW

That movie got turned off REALLY quickly as soon as my buddy noticed me standing there. (Although I'm sure the "play" button was hit as soon as I left.) :)

LMAO!!! :D

Thanks for this thread, it is actually cheering me up! :)

*pizza man walks to the door and rings the doorbell*

"Anybody order sausage, well, I hope you like it hot."

LOL

Proper method of watching porn
 

No, no, no! You guys have it all wrong! You are supposed to mute the television and do the voices yourself.

as if you don't have the entire collection of debbie does dallas series on dvd....

"would you guys like to take a swim in our pool?"

BOW CHICKA BOW WOW

"I'm here for that massage you called for"

BOW CHICKA BOW WOW

...what about the non-intros, where the tape begins and ppl are already having sex...

wasn't Ron Jeremy a TKE?

Wow! If someone could confirm this, it would be the funniest thing ever. I was actually subjected to the watching of a Ron Jeremy movie at the TKE house about a week ago.

When asked why Ron Jeremy was such a star, one of the TKE's replied "If a fat walrus like that guy can get hot chicks, it gives hope to guys like us."

Ron Jeremy is the pimp of pimps....

d

As far as I have heard, Ron Jeremy's status as a TKE is unconfirmed. he's not listed on th IHQ website, nor is he mentioned in our Teke guide.

zn711? any comments?

This thread is too funny :p .

Dr. Ron Jeremy PhD
 

True story, me and a couple of budies started a petition to have Ron Jeremy speak at our graduation ceremony. We even petition the SUNY Chancellor to give him a honorary PhD. Didn't go anywhere though. :(

I think that guy has mastered his profession 1000 fold!

Man I love this thread...come on ppl..let's contribute..we want to hear from the women..because WE KNOW that you all know what's up with the Pron (my word for porn) too.

d

I going for my PhD, and my dissertation is going to figure out why the hell is the girl will be completely naked, except she got a high heels. I can never figure it out. She'll be but naked and swimming with a high heels. Hmm, nobel prize for science.

The Quantitative Study of the Effect of High Heels on Pornography.

yes...high heels..or socks? WTF? i dun get it.....

maybe it's to help fix ze cable?

d

so ron jeremy's a tke? cool.

The high heels thing confuses me too...I know they can't be comfortable...and they're always ugly white shoes leftover from the 80's! And really-who wears their high heels when they're having sex, hmm?? I don't think so.

I can hardly even walk in high heels, none the less have sex with them on.

It is sort of strange when you think about it..I wonder if there have ever been injuries in the filming due to those Heels?

BOW CHICKA BOW WOW....

bow chicka bow wow . . .

. . . although, have you tried? This may be easier than you imagine. Maybe.

The Sigs were in possession of a 35 mm film called something like "Special Delivery" I don't remember any sound because this guy named Red Dog did the talking. Scene-Knock knock-teddy clad girl-"Who's there?" " I have a Special delivery for you..." Anyway, they would invite freshmen girls to their screening and when it got to those special parts, they'd rewind-forward-rewind-forward. This guy was sooo endowed it was SCARY! I guess they thought it would break the sexual ice??? Ah, those magical memories.

DANG!
 

Justamom, you a little scandelous. haha!

Seriously, I am a fan of the, "Mamm, do you know how fast you were going?"
"No officer-- I really cant afford a ticket. Isnt there anything you can do?" "Well, theres something YOU can do." BOW CHICKA BOW WOW:eek:

Yep it is.

On my campus, the TKE's are gentlemen, they don't go out looking for action.

oh my, this is the funniest thing I have read in a long time!! I also had a guy friend who walked around singing Bow chicka bow bow and didnt exactly know what the hell it was, then I moved and a girl friend started saying it(she is so the type to watch porn) and it clicked. But that is sooooo funny!!!!!!! I love it!

If you say so. I am honored you picked on TKE because that just proves your envious of TKE. If they are as bad as you say they wouldn't even be worth the mention.

. . . note that no one else, no matter the school or region, has made a 'mention' of them . . .

notice it was Lil_G who mentioned it. DUH

Yep just like no one mentioned yours or Lil _G's

except ours do not have atrocious reputations that would be worthy of a 'mention'

now what exactly is DUH? Can we get an explanation of DUH?

Notice Lil_G posted a joke, and the masses strike out in anger..that's the problem today, this is a funny post, joking about funny things, yet some ppl get to damn pissed.
So like DUH, get a grip, take a chill pill....

I mean it could be worse...soon Lil_G will take out that squirrel!

d

My point was merely that your claim was sort of . . . shall we say, baseless? Maybe the TKE chapter where lil_G is sucks. Maybe they don't. Why worry about it? Why get offended? Absolutely pointless. So starting to manufacture reasons to twist his statements into some sort of "they must be good, because . . . " draws us all closer to conversation with no point, and no foreseeable outcome.

That's all I was saying, killer.

Yeah guys, let's get back to the topic of discussing the merits of pornography. I didn't think stacking our orgs vs eachother on porn star endowed-ness will solve anything.

I have received numerous of complaints concerning this thread. First of all, i dont agree with offending people or groups- please lets stick to the thread topic !!

Also, for the people who have sent me a complaint. Yes, i agree that some people have said things they shouldnt have, but you have also sunk down to their level by replying and starting this topic to flame.

I also dont appreciate sending John an email requesting for something to be done after I had already sent you (you know who you are) an email telling you what i was going to do. Sorry it wasnt the answer you wanted, but thats life- not everything is going to go your way.

If the thread continues to flow in the wrong direction, i will close it.

Can't we all just sit down and discuss what is really important around here?????????????

That important discussion, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, IS WHY THE HECK DO THE LADIES IN PORNO WEAR HIGH HEALS!!!!!!!!!

And also, do you think Alf get any action?

another burning issue
 

Who do you think is hairier, ALF or Ron Jeremy?