Advice?
 

This is my first thread here after some time of lurking about. Sorry that this resembles a paper, but I get really, really talkative once I get going. This past weekend, Oct 2-4, was rush at UCR and so as a tentative junior, I decided to try it. I already went in with realistic knowledge that I had a good chance of not getting any bids as a junior, but my friends/family members have pledged and they loved it so they urged me to just try it out at least.

I went to Open House with a ton of nerves because of all my apprehensions about rushing as a junior, especially considering that obviously there were a ton of other underclassmen who could probably provide more than I could, along with the years. I already had an idea of which GLOs I wanted and I was thrilled to be proven that they were the right ones for me.

At UCR, there are: Kappa Kappa Gamma, Delta Gamma, Gamma Phi Beta, Alpha Chi Omega, Sigma Kappa, and Pi Beta Phi. I'm not sure if we are considered a really Greek school, but my Rho Chi told us about 250ish (Maybe higher, but lesser than 300) girls rushed this fall.

Open House was so long (6-7 hours in heels was crazy!), but it was so much more than I thought it would be. It was so exciting, adorable, and life-changing. I was never the type to think I could be in a sorority even though I was definitely one of those girls who would see the girls/signs around campus and think about them longingly (That sounds a little creepy, I know). I didn't get to dorm my first year because of my parents so I've been living at a nearby apt/commuting.

I don't know a lot of about the whole Greek Life, but I feel like I really, really, really (x100) want/need to join one because it's the family environment that I adore. It's difficult to get involved when you didn't get to dorm or anything and I feel like I really could learn so much from having sisters. I also love the community service aspect because I was really involved in high school, on and off campus. It's hard keeping up with old friends who don't go to my college so I wanted so much to get into a sorority, even as a junior. My heart was so set on getting in.

I absolutely adored DG, Kappa, & Gamma Phi - the conversations went so well that it was amazing how well I connected with the handful of girls I met. Sig Kap, AXO & Pi Phi didn't have me as enthralled and 1 sister I spoke to kind of forced the conversation and didn't seem to be as interested in me as the ones in the other 3. When I came back for Philanthropy Day, I ended up getting 2 'callbacks' out of 4 max from Kappa and Sig Kap. So, KKG was the one I wanted and SK had been one of my lower choices.

I wasn't too surprised about KKG because my old roommate is a sister and I spent most of the time talking to her. I was surprised about SK and even more totally crushed about not getting an invite back from DG and Gamma Phi. During our Philanthropy Day, I ended up connecting really well with girls from both sororities - the conversations never went awkward or forced; we totally bonded over 'why did you want to rush?', and other rush-related Qs as well as high school activities, interests, etc. so I thought I had a good chance.

Today was Pref Night, but I ended up getting a call from my Rho Chi that I had been dropped. I remember hearing from one of the girls in my recruitment group that some had been crying over their callbacks. I remember thinking that I don't know if I could cry about that, because at least you got invited back. But today was truly disappointing for me. I know you've all heard it before, but I am unbelievably heartbroken that I didn't get an invite back and Bid Day is tomorrow. I went into this whole process super excited and nervous/antsy beyond words - I did research on all the sororities that I was interested in and I'm completely disheartened by this, considering I thought how well last night had gone. I'm the kind of person to get her hopes too high, which probably wasn't the smartest thing to do.

I've read threads here on other girls who were dropped or decided to drop and saw that there is a chance of COB, but I'm not sure if I should try it. I truly and honestly want to be involved in a GLO, but given my year and whatnot, I'm not sure if I have a chance. I don't really know as many sisters in sororities and I don't know anything about the quotas - if they've been met, etc (If anything, I could prob only find out about KKG). I read that I should keep up with my Rho Chi to see about an 'available list' or COB, but given my 'statistics' compared to other girls, should I try?

i am sorry that recruitment didn't end with a bid for you. i am not familiar with recruitment at your school, but generally, if you want to make sure chapters know that you would be interested in cob events, you should contact the greek life office and ask if there is a list of interested girls that you can add your name to.

once formal recruitment is over, your rho chi's duties end. she won't be able to get your name out(other than to her own chapter should they be cob'ing). the greek life office will be your best bet. good luck!

Only YOU can determine whether you should try.

It is up to you.

Best of luck.

I know that, but I'm trying to find out if it's worth trying COB or should I just go ahead with a community service co-ed frat or culture sorority instead.

Maybe I'm reading this incorrectly, but are you trying to use service and "cultural" organizations as back ups? These organizations weren't created for leftovers from other organizations.

Please don't be a letter getter.

I am sorry it didn't work out in formal recruitment. Even if you are aware of the odds against something and go in with a pretty realistic view of the challenges, it still hurts when things don't work out. If you want to find out about the possibilities of COB activities, contact Greek Life office on your campus. Good luck to you!

Gosh, that just made me really sad.

I think that you should DEFINITELY go through NPC rush again so the whole campus (including the service and "culture" groups) are well aware of your history. This might have an important effect!!

I just PM'd you. I am very familiar with the UCR recruitment process and hope I answered your questions. :)

Ah, I sincerely apologize to everyone - my email hasn't been alerting me so I had no idea I got more replies; I just finally checked this now. That truly was not meant to be insulting. I just really wanted to be a part of Panhellenic, but the other sororities are starting this week and I kind of didn't want to get mixed up in both 'groups' if that makes any sense.

I don't really know the whole COB process at my school yet (I've been trying to reach the office, but I keep getting sidetracked). I want to have a game plan for one place and see it through rather than try to balance 2-3 orgs at once. I know it could increase my chances, but I don't want to seem like I'm trying to get in everywhere and end up failing or something.

Also, I know that it's not about the letters/being Greek, I've just had friends in them and I feel like it's just more for me. I'm already involved in a couple clubs, but I'd still like to broaden my horizons, so to speak. I just remembered what my apprehension actually was. To rephrase: "Should I really try (given that I'm a junior with not as much to offer compared to underclassmen)?" I think back to the chats I had with the girls and I realized how many things I could said to sway them. I think stuff like amending to why I would be a good choice, even as a third year, etc would've been good, maybe?

each cob chapter may only have one or two spots-once they fill those, they are done.the clock is ticking and if you truly want to participate in any NPC sorority's cob events, you need to drop by the greek life office today to see how you can accomplish that.

I had a recruitment story similar to yours. If you want to go greek, ask about COB, get on the lists, and go. Who cares if you're a junior? Make sure the girls know what you can bring to the table and that they don't focus so much on what you can't.

My two cents. :)

If there's a sorority that may do COB, but I don't know any sisters in there, should I try to 'shove' my way in (Hopefully someone understands that interpretation) or just move on?

I want to, but I don't want to force my way in by using people. :/

Yep, that's what I meant - shove my way into getting an invite. Good point, but that is kind of random - to just walk up to a sister and ask. :x

Definitely, which is why I see that as 'shoving my way in.' There's no real decent way to ask, without having an ulterior motive. :/

If the GREEK LIFE OFFICE tells you that a certain sorority has inquired about women who are interested in COB, that's teh ONLY time you should approach the sorority.

Otherwise, COB is kind of like the Masons - asking for an invite is taboo. The girls invited are often already friends of sisters, which is the point - COB is to be more relaxed, not having to meet a bunch of people you don't know like regular formal rush.

Um hate to break it to you, but you HAVE to ask in order to become a Mason.

Right. That's how it works -- you ask them, they don't ask you. That's why they say, "2B1ASK1."

Yeah, but I mean you have to get to the point where you feel comfy asking someone and with them sponsoring you. You don't just show up at a meeting and say "can I join" without knowing a soul. (Which is kinda what OP is proposing.)

One, I understand that you haven't said anything overly negative about the sororities mentioned. However, I find the mentioning of the individual sororities to be unnecessary. If someone who graduated from UCR and saw this, perhaps they'd be insulted. If a future PNM from UCR saw this, perhaps their choices would be biased...perhaps I'm oversensitive, but I don't see the point of naming them. You could have gotten your point across just as well without using their names.

Two, we can't make this decision. How did you decide where you wanted to go to college? How did you decide on your major (assuming that you've declared)? It was how you felt, was it not? We can't tell you how to feel and we can't make the choice for you. If you want to go through recruitment again or COB, do it. If you want to go through service or cultural organizations' recruitment, do it but don't do it as a backup. There are plenty of people who'd love to join one and not as a second choice.

^ No idea what the Masons are, unless you mean the historical society.

Obviously, I didn't mean to offend anyone. I only mentioned the names to give an idea of which Panhellenic sororities UCR had for people who are unfamiliar with UCR. I did not give any mention to how any of the sororities behaved; if anything, I only split them up because I just didn't feel the connection. If another girl does, then good for her, but it wasn't for me. If future PNMs consider my opinion/how sisters were when I rushed, then that's their thing to do. Going into rush is about having an open mind (obviously you guys know that well), if an PNM is swayed by the opinion of a stranger, then it'll be on her for maybe disappointment.

I'm not asking anyone to make a choice for me, I'm only asking for advice to see what other opinions are out there; seeing outside the box. They are not my back-ups, they were other choices I was considering because I love community service as an org's main goal and I'm also Asian, so I liked having that as something to have in common. I only brought up Panhellenic, because I preferred them the most + their rush was before the CS/culture ones.

I don't want to have to defend my choices, I only wanted advice.

Perhaps because she was looking at multicultural orgs as well?

No, she definitely mentioned "culture" orgs.