What To Do for Sons Fraternity
 

I guess this is a stupid question but I would like to "help" out or do for my sons fraternity of SigEp. I have 2 sons, one active one pledge and I'm trying to come up with ideas. I have been so involved with the boys during football and band that I really have a need to do something now. Any suggestions that I won't step over my boundaries?

Donate money. Show up for Parent's day if they have one. If they have a parents' auxiliary, you can join that (this is a rare thing to exist).

Otherwise, don't be THAT parent. Your kids are in college now, they are adults, let them enjoy this without you.

Baked goods!

You could also check to see if the chapter has a Mothers' Club or a Parents' Club. These clubs can go a long way in providing chapter support.

Like KSUVilolet said, you could always ask what they need. That's how my MIL got sweet-talked into making customized curtins for the house. :eek:

If you are close by, ask them if it would be okay to make something for the house and ask if they would like to pick it up. I wouldn't show up at the house unannounced or uninvited.

If they aren't super close geographically, mail them goody packages, with cookies, candy jars, magazines (you can also buy subscriptions for the house - a gift that keeps on giving and that everyone can enjoy), movie DVDs (or Blueray - whichever player they have), Netflix subscription, video games.

You can also make different packages based on holidays. Halloween goody bags, "Winter holiday" stuff, exam time.

You might also ask the boys what they might like or want. If you have a specific price range, price a few things out and have them choose.

I think it's nice to want to support them, but just let them think it's on their own terms.

I have to agree. I am a legacy at my chapter and my father practically makes my mother do nothing lol. He understands that I am an adult and SigEp is my thing...

I would talk to your sons and ask if their is anything you can do. Be honest with them about wanting to help out. They may not realize that your generosity extends to college activities.

Otherwise, perhaps it is time to find a charity to volunteer with? There are a lot of great organizations that would love to have you. It sounds like you may have empty nest syndrome.

??? And who is going to pick up that DVD, stick it in the mailer and take it to the post office? And choose the next flick?

Seriously...please don't do holiday goodie packages. I can just hear the guys teasing the son about what mom will send next. If you want to take a big box or platter of cookies or something when you visit, great. But don't do it often.

Magazine subscriptions? Maybe to "Bazooms.":eek:

Completely agree. Donate money, attend events for parents, and see if your sons have anything they want/need help with.

And I would really look in to volunteering. Perhaps being a "big sister" with Big Brothers Big Sisters (or a similar group), mentoring kids, etc.? There are a lot of ways to offer up your support and energy, and a lot of children and organizations who would appreciate your involvement. Just a thought!

Hi JudySS:

Since you have raised two sons who have successfully made it to college, I think you would be great as a mentor or volunteer in your community! There are sooo many young people who need guidance and encouragement out there.

I would just mention to your young men that you are available if there is anything you can help with at their chapter. Maybe there isn't an immediate need, but they will keep your offer in mind and it keeps the door open.

I think it's great that you support your kids and want to help their fraternity! Maybe you can check out which philanthropies they work with and become a volunteer in one of those organizations.

Ditto to all. And make sure your sons know they won't be hurting your feelings if they tell you that you are stepping over some boundaries. ;)

The benefits of his superior school system.

I appreciate all the words of wisdom especially from dmost2(right) but I already am involved, I'm a scout leader in the district and the state, I am a 21 year teacher at a high school, my husband and I have an Astronomy Club and I am the sponsor for the Pep Club plus I still volunteer to make Football Stadium Flags for my son's old high school. It's just that I appreciate the fraternity system and all that it has to offer my sons. As far as being THAT parent, I know my boundaries and what I should and should not do, it was just a sincere question to help out some other students that may not be able to have a "family" around. Again, I appreciate your thoughts and understanding.
As far as empty nest, you might be right but last night we had 123 high school students to our house that we fed for a "Star" Party for the Astronomy Club.

With the holidays coming up, maybe you can ask your sons if any of their fraternity brothers are without a place to go/can't get home, and invite them to celebrate with your family.

I can think of a lot of other ways to get involved, but they might not be considered appropriate for your son's organization. I'm a member of a Latina Greek Letter Org. and parents/siblings/aunts/uncles/grandparents/etc. are often very welcome to be involved in LGLO activities (especially service, fundraising, and even social events like banquets, family BBQs, etc.). But I can respect that different types of GLOs have different ways of including family members, and I think if you just ask your sons what would work, they would let you know what is best.

Good luck to you! :)

I just noticed this... and maybe the mom will see this somehow...

But every chapter of SigEp should have an Alumni and Volunteer Cooperation (AVC). It's just what the name says it is: alumni and volunteers. They deal with a lot of business for the undergrad chapter and some alumni specific things. Usually AVCs are always looking for help b/c a lot of alumni don't stay active in the Fraternity (depending on the campus, of course).

So that's that, I guess.

Having been the recipient of one of my sister's family's hospitality one Easter, I can tell you this is an excellent idea.

Home cooking always seems to be appreciated. I recently made 3 huge sheets of baked ziti for my sons fraternity I dropped it off along with plastic plates and forks at my sons apartment so he could take it with him to a chapter meeting. Although I didn't get to enjoy watching the guys devour the food, I had a good metal image of 80+ young men having a nice surprise dinner.

I'm sure that "devour" was an understatement!!! Home cooking is appreciated by all college students, no matter whose home it comes from. :)

Home cooking...absolutely!

When I was in school, we didn't get meals in the house on Sunday evenings. Sure we could order pizza, but that happened too often (particularly after a night of Saturday drinking). Our "town" parents got together and decided to begin monthly Sunday night dinners for us.

Two of the girls in our chapter (sisters in real life) had a father who owned a Brown Derby. Each Sunday, he would provide a huge salad and typically a side dish and rolls. The other parents would split duties of making the entrees and desserts.

I remember one mother made a killer lasagna. Out of town parents became involved too. Sometimes, they made the trip to the house just to cook on Sundays; they would shop for us and cook in the house kitchen. Other parents would send money to supplement the parent's grocery shopping. My mom would bake pies at home and drive them 70 miles.

Yes, even college girls will devour.

ETA: And, parents were always welcome to share the meal with us, if they were helping. We loved having them.

Our "Girls Who Love SigEp" group (led by one of our pinned sisters) does some kind of cute food related activity every month which we greatly appreciate. Also, our SigEp Parent Liaison is beginning planning for home cooked meals for us every month which I am terribly excited about!

28 Rice Krispie Treats, 54 Funfetti cookies, 19 bags of Puppy Chow, 32 Brownies - $25.00 Dollars This past Sundays treats.
30 Happy Sigma Phi Epsilon Boys - Priceless
A Happy Mom - that "kicks butt" - More than Priceless
Thanks for all the ideas, I've sent treats every Sunday to my sons meeting and the guys love it.
Will make a dinner for them the weekend before finals and take it to the college.
Making sure I stay on my own set boundaries - not pushy just giving them something nice.

Judy, do you have any more sons that you'd like to join my chapter...and send with cookies?

My sister makes funfetti cookies like its her job - everyone thinks they're strange at first but they are incredible!

I would emphasize the donation of money. Fraternities and sororities alike are always in need of more money. If your sons belong to a small chapter this is especially true. It doesn't have to be a lot. I belong to a very small chapter of Sigma Tau Gamma in Southwestern Oklahoma. After the members pay their dues at $400 a semester, we don't have much left over after we pay nationals what they require. $50 or $100 would make a huge difference to us. For example, we host a banquet for brothers of any chapter and any status at the end of every school year, and an extra $100 would allow us to decorate more, serve finer food, or even have a recap of the past year professionally done instead of making it ourselves. All I'm saying is, a huge part of a young person's greek experience is the memories that are created during those years, and extra money allows the chapters the freedom to do more events, thus creating more memories. College kids could always use more money, and donations are also appreciated.

A last idea to leave you with is this: if you want to be involved with your sons without letting it be known to their brothers, you could do something as simple as paying their dues every semester.

Judy, would you like to cook for my SigEp chapter? :D Please!!! hehe

I love funfetti cookies (slash gooey butter cookies)! Try making them with chocolate cake mix and a little bit of almond extract+vanilla. Yum.

How much almond extract/vanilla? This sounds wonderful.

^^^

An entire chapter of SigEp just shouted for joy

My cake cookie recipe calls for 1/4 tsp of vanilla, but I usually end up using a full teaspoon, and then 1/4-1/2 tsp almond if I'm using a chocolate mix.

36 White Choc. Madadamia Nut Cookies
36 Reeses Peanut Butter Cup cookies
1 request for no-bakes for next weekend.
Love it.:D:D

I'm glad you found your niche. I'm sure this is earning some valuable cool Mom points too.

Thanks, it is very difficult when you have been so active before and then going to not active at all. I've been very lucky to have great sons that I have had so much fun being around, don't get me wrong sometimes they are a pain in the butt(like most kids can be) but I still want to be a part of their life.:)

I am going to the SigEp house on Sunday and cooking baked spaghetti, salad, garlic bread and cupcakes for dessert for the boys. I am also going to make goody bags of cookies for them during finals week.
I am having the time of my life with doing this.:D:D:D:D

This is so nice and so generous of you. I would've loved if one of my chapter sisters had a mom who dropped off great food all the time!