My Fall Recruitment Thread
 

Hey guys. I just signed my pref card, and wow what a rush this whole experience has been (pun partly intended). I can't wait to tell you guys my whole story. There are a lot of ups and downs and changing of opinions, but I'll be honest, there were times when I was happy, sad, excited, disappointed, catty, regretful, SHALLOW, and then true to myself. I have to run right now, but I'll update and tell how it all goes. Bid day is tomorrow, and of course I'll include that after. Cya!

andddd I just wrote the entire first day and it got erased

Ok, so here goes. I am going to be completely honest, so if you don't like it, too bad!

I'm a junior transfer and there are 4 NPC sororities. Going into rush, I had a preference towards two of them (Mascara and Lipgloss). They were the more desirable sororities. I am very attractive so I thought I belonged to these. The other two were Blush and Eyeliner. I met my rho gammas (I had 2) and I fell in LOVE with them. I really liked my rho gamma group as well. On day 1, you visit all 4. On day two you visit all 4 again, then vote for your top 3. On day 3, you can attend a max of 3, and then on preference you can attend a max of 2. Then bid day is tomorrow! Here is my day 1:

Blush-I really liked this group! They were easy to talk to.

Lipgloss-This was my favorite going in, based on some girls I had met before recruitment. The first girl I talked to I didn't immediately click with, but the second was great! This was definitely my top choice so far.

Eyeliner-I was apprehensive about going to this group. My roommate had rushed freshman year, only attended Eyeliner's pref, but did not sign a bid card. She rushed the next year and was released from recruitment all together. Anyway, I felt so so about this group. They were my least favorite. I genuinely didn't really click with the girls.

Mascara-I was excited to go to mascara. I had fun talking to these girls and really like them. I want to go back here definitely!

After night 1, my personal rankings were (we didn't vote until after night 2)

Lipgloss
Blush
Mascara
Eyeliner

Night 2:

Mascara-I loved mascara tonight. I probably had the best conversation in all of rush with a mascara girl tonight. Mascara jumped to the top of my list.

Eyeliner-Eyeliner was better tonight. It was always very easy to talk to them. I felt like I didn't have to pretend at all.

Lipgloss-I didn't adore lipgloss as much tonight as I had before, but I was still very interested in them. The conversations tonight just hadn't been amazing.

Blush-Blush tonight was not great. After they sang the opening song, and came to pick people up, my friend and I had nobody and were standing around waiting. Finally a girl picked us up. Then when everyone went to get a seat, there weren't any for us. The sorority girl with us had to go ask her sister to stand so we could sit when we were blatantly standing right near her! The conversations continued to be good with this group though. I was annoyed about the night's occurrences in blush though.

We voted for three tonight. I chose Mascara, Lip Gloss, and Blush. Stay tuned!

Good luck!

Day 3:

Our first set of invites! I was pretty nervous. Here was my schedule!

Eyeliner
Mascara
Blush

I was really, REALLY disappointed about lipgloss, but figured since I still had mascara, everything was all good.

Eyeliner-At this party, there was one girl, with 5 pnm's, and she just talked at us the entire time. ??? I don't think I was asked one question.

Mascara-Didn't go great today. The active seemed only interested in talking to the other pnm with us. When another girl came around it was someone I had already met before, so again she focused on the other girl. When I looked around, some people were having one on one conversations so I was a bit sad. I don't think I will get invited back here, and I'm really sad because of how great yesterday was.

Blush-Since it was philanthropy day, most of the sororities had a little craft and then we just went back to mingling and socializing. At Blush, the entire day was about the philanthropy. That was nice, but I didn't feel as if I got to know the Blush girls as well.

When I voted that night, I voted for Blush and Mascara. I hoped hoped HOPED I got Mascara, but wasn't feeling great about it. More later!

Holy moly! Either that chapter is very very small, or there are a LOT of pnms at you're school. Which is it?

Lol! It was just how it worked out. Many of the girls during this party were one on one. It wasn't the fault of either the chapter or the school. Besides, wait to see how the rest of the story turns out!

Edit: I believe that chapter has around 60 girls, and there were 250 going through recruitment. The largest chapter on this campus is 90 I believe.

Pref was today, and a complete whirlwind. I've never been more confused, upset, and happy, all at once. I will let you know where I went later!

Aww yea pref will do that to you lol...cant wait to see where you ended up!

For pref, I was invited to Blush and Eyeliner. I was very sad about mascara. I couldn't help being catty. I almost wished the groups had recruited on looks alone. I didn't click with the girls that I wanted to like me. I am still sad and I will probably always wonder what it is like to be a mascara or lipgloss but I will go on. I read an example on here about, if you don't get your choice to your first choice college, are you not going to go to college at all? That helped me a lot, although I do distinguish that at your safety school, people are not going to be around a lot wearing an Ivy sweatshirt you got rejected from, whereas the other sorority shirts are commonly seen. It's harder to forget. I did go to the prefs and gave the two other groups a chance, but I think being disappointed by being cut by your favorites is completely normal and should not elicit rude responses (which I have sometimes seen on GC). If a girl decides not to pursue Greek Life rather than her second choice, and you wish to condemn her, don't. She is missing out already.

Anyway, I had Blush pref first.

Blush-Everything was set up very pretty. Candles, pretty deserts, etc etc. I loved the card where the girls wrote you little notes, but the girl preffing me was really not someone I had connected with as much. The Blush girls talked about how much Blush meant to them and I could really see how proud they were of their sorority. When I left, I thought the ceremony was nice and was confused about the insane emotional responses people say they get from pref.

Eyeliner-I was still very upset about mascara (and lipgloss) and honestly it showed. I was pretty overwhelmed and the Eyeliner girl who was preffing me could tell. She waited while I was in the bathroom drying my eyes. So we sat down again and continued talking. It was much more casual and laid back then blush. No candles, no dimmed lights. I really felt ok at Eyeliner. It seemed these girls already liked me so much and I didn't have to pretend at all. I felt very comfortable and loved the two girls talking to me. (Unfortunately they were seniors). When I left, I felt like I just knew.

I was the last one to sign my pref card it took me forever to decide. When I was at blush, I had looked around at my potential pledge class, and loved 99% of them. I knew one girl at eyeliner's pref. I didn't feel a connection with the blush actives like I did with eyeliner's. I loved blush's philanthropy, and wasn't as jazzed about eyeliner's. (This is really bad, but hey I thought about): I absolutely loved one of my rho gammas, and I knew she was an eyeliner. Blush seemed to be more well-rounded in all. I was pretty torn. I finally just went with my gut and put them both down (as 1 and 2).

So you put blush as #1 and Eyeliner as #2?

lol i didn't say the order i put them in. i'll write more later. i just got back from bid day festivities

Woo hoo! Get some sleep, do your homework, and come back so we can congratulate you!

When I signed my bid card, I voted Eyeliner as number 1 and Blush as number 2. Obviously the second I walked away I regretted it and started thinking of all the reasons why I should have done it the other way around. I was pretty stressed out. I didn't know what I wanted. The Eyeliners were just so accepting. I had been at my lowest and they made me feel better. Isn't that what I wanted in a sister?

Fast forward to bid day..

We were sitting and everyone had their envelopes but we weren't allowed to open them yet. When I did, I saw that I was...






























































...an eyeliner! I had mixed emotions. Some of you might think this is the end of the story, but not yet, so I will wait to reveal the chapter.

aye yie yie! please continue.

To be fair, I don't think many on GC are rude initially. Once we've attempted to answer questions to the best of our ability and the OP has an attitude problem or won't listen to reason the snarkiness can come out. However, I do believe it's typical to be sad and even wistful about the chapters that release you that you liked.

I do hope you’re very happy at eyeliner and, whether you decide it’s for you or not, that you have/make friends on campus and become involved in some other way.

Agreed. Another reason, especially lately, that I think that GCers have been "rude" to PNMs is because they've kind of made it clear (whether they flat out said it, or not) that they think they're better than the group that offer them a bid.

^^^dying of suspense...

i was really not a fan of the OPs shallowness (the talk of "being recruited on looks" and "being really attractive") but these rush threads always suck me in, especially here:
so i'm ready to know who the Eyeliners are!

BTW, does anyone know what school it is? i feel like it would be pretty easy to figure out (in the NPC lane): 4 NPCs, seems like a non-competitive rush, junior transfer? if 617 is reference to an area code, perhaps a school in the Boston area?

Hey guys I'm really glad I got some responses about that because that is sort of where my story is going. For all main purposes, the story is over. I will start pledging eyeliner tomorrow. However, the emotions and feelings concerning recruitment, pledging, and eyeliner and blush in general, are definitely not gone, and I would like to work through it (hopefully with your help) so I can make the most out of my experience as an eyeliner.

I think I should have put blush first. It doesn't really matter now and who knows if it would have made a difference.

And I want to comment on something one of you said. Do I think I'm better than the girls? No. I think they are extremely nice and very accepting and that's why I put them as number one. Maybe deep down I feel that I am simply better looking. Should I apologize for feeling that way? Yeah, probably, and I am sorry for sounding like a snob. These emotions are all very recent and I don't think I can get past being catty without expressing what everyone else won't say. If you want to condemn me and say I don't deserve eyeliner, fine. I love the girls as people, and I WANT to stop thinking about everything else. Maybe for some of you it's easy and you can just erase those nagging thoughts, but I'm not as strong.

What other people think does matter to me. Maybe this will just take time. The more I grow to love eyeliner, the more everything else will fade away. I don't know. I do love greek life already, and I knew no matter which sorority I ended up in, I promised myself I would give pledging a chance and initiate if I wanted.

Another thought. (And yes this is all jumbled order, but I just want to get everything out). We had a great pledge class, but I know many will drop simply because eyeliner was their last choice. It really upset me to be at the bid day dinner, excited, but most people were pretty solemn. I know some bid day parties, people probably were crying they were so happy. It almost made me feel not even good enough.

I don't know really what I'm asking, because probably all the good advice you guys will give me, is the logical and rational explanations that I can already come up with myself. I think the emotions just need to subside and then it will be easier. Thanks for listening to my story, and please leave any comments, positive or constructive. I look forward to being the best eyeliner I can be

I'm sorry you feel this way and I suspect you will loathe my latest response. I will reveal my chapter and school in a bit, and I respectfully ask that you guess privately.

I'm going to be a nice person and not touch your other comments, but I highly suggest reading this thread:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...ghlight=choice

You're entitled to your feelings (everything is still very new) but at some point, you really do have to get over it and realize that you have 3 choices:

*Drop out of eyeliner.

*Stay in Eyeliner and be pissed everyday about it.

*Stay in Eyeliner and make the VERY best of it.

At the end of the day, you will only get as much out of your Eyeliner experience as you allow yourself to get out of it. Obviously, being mopy about being an Eyeliner isn't going to help.

As much as you may want to be a Mascara, Blush, whatever, the fact of the matter is-- you aren't one. It's up to you to decide how you want your experience to be from here.

Good luck.

I thought I made it pretty clear that I do want to stay in eyeliner and make the best of it, and I feel bad about the way I feel, but unlike others can't just erase the thoughts immediately. I understand that you will grow to love some sororities and instantly love others. Nothing I have posted in this thread differs from that. I think you misunderstand my feelings. I don't feel as if I'm being defensive, but you've suggested two options that I never wanted to do, and that's these two:

*Drop out of eyeliner.

*Stay in Eyeliner and be pissed everyday about it.

I am making the effort and I am going to work through this. That doesn't change the emotions I'm experiencing right now. People say there's a cookie cutter sorority, but I think pnms are stereotyped this way too.

Edit: I don't think you were being nice by saying you're not going to touch my comments. You obviously are looking down on the way I feel and that's not nice. I'm sorry I'm being honest.

Your feelings ARE normal.

You are probably not going to instantly feel at home with ANY chapter (even girls who get their top choice from day 1 don't feel that way).

I don't think anyone is saying that it is wrong to feel the way you feel, especially at this stage in the game.

Nothing is automatic and it all takes time.

Some advice: get involved and meet other sisters.

If you keep your positive attitude about Eyeliner, and get genuinely involved, your feelings likely will change.

you may be having a bit of "buyers remorse"-i do all the time! who knows-you might be questioning your decision had you chosen blush instead.

i think that it is very few new members who instantly truly feel at home and have no period of adjustment. heck, if your roommate is a stranger, there is a period of adjustment with her, and there certainly is a period of adjustment in a marriage.

the best way to feel comfortable with your new sisters and the girls in your pledge class, is to participate in every event possible with your chapter. join a committee within the chapter that interests you. walk home from your new member meetings with your pledge sisters. set a goal to learn something about a different sister every day.

I think I just need some time. I want to go in the right direction

p.s. i am in the midst of about 100 new friend requests and am definitely feeling the love

Don't be too put off by a quieter bid day group. Mine was also a bit hard- I joined the smaller group on my campus which wasn't as popular as the others. I really genuinely liked several of the sisters but didn't want to join just to be a number boost. Our bid day was fairly quiet and subdued (honestly I don't think the actives knew what to do with us, we more than doubled the chapter size!) and we could hear screaming down the hall from the other group. Yeah, that made me doubt things a bit and wonder "what if". But I think it is a very common reaction to recruitment, because everything happens so fast- and it can be overwhelming to suddenly "settle down". But most people who had doubts (people that I personally know and have read about here on GC) are thrilled they stuck it out and made the most of it.

You get what you give, and as someone else said if you push the others in your new member class then the excitement factor will boost. If it's conducive on your campus, try to do a few things with just the new members- go out to brunch or lunch or dinner together, meet for coffee, go to a football game, or hang out and watch tv. Bond as a class, and that'll help make the group that much stronger. And if you're concerned that some may drop, all the more reason to engage them now and show them how great you all could make it! I'm glad you're giving the eyeliners a chance and hope it works out for all of you.

I suspect this will happen.

About halfway through pledging, you will hear from some of your friends, or through the grapevine, who are pledging mascara or lipgloss about how pressured they feel to maintain their looks and image at all times and how it isn't all it's cracked up to be. You will be able to go to the eyeliner house, put your feet up on the sofa and not give a crap that your nail polish is chipped or your hair is frizzy. And you will say AAAAHHHHHHHH.

I think that you do have a good attitude under it all, and as time goes on you will wonder why you thought those other sororities were better than yours.

There was something in you that made you put eyeliner down above blush. No you will never know, unless you run into a blabby blush and she tells you, but there is a reason you chose as you chose. Don't drive yourself nuts second guessing. Like FSUZeta said, it's just a little bit of buyers remorse. Any big purchase invites similar feelings even if you're super jazzed about it.

Also, and I'm truly not trying to be snarky or bitchy, there is the possibility you're not as good looking as you thought you were. Things get turned upside down a lot when you go from HS to college.

Good luck.:)

lol i wasn't pretty in high school. i didn't really find myself till college and that included the way i looked. and it's not snarky. maybe i'm conceited when it comes to the way i look but i am 100% confident

no, i dont loathe your comments, but it just seems like youre trying your hardest to get us to "be nice" and understand your POV by repeating how "honest" you're being. that doesn't excuse the comments you make. remember, a thin line between cocky and confident. I cant even chalk your comments up to being a fresh out of HS freshmen who doesnt know any better.

I agree with a lot of KSUViolet's and 33girl's comments (as i tend to). i think you went from ugly duckling to Heather Hottie and felt you earned yourself a place amongst Lipgloss and Mascara because that would be the easy thing to do - youre hot, so you pledge one of the hot houses and live the rest of your college life amongst the hotties.

BUT it seems like, deep down, the real Ggirl617 within, identified with Eyeliner, and maybe taking a bid and initiating there kinda takes your back to when you weren't so hot and confident. you say so yourself that "you care about what people think" and that many of your pledge class chose Eyeliner last. that has to play a big part in where you're at right now and the way youre telling this story - defensive, like you have something to prove, NOT honest and confident.

this assumes that you actually are hot, or were hot at some point. you could be a total ugmug and are seriously jaded.


To your credit, i do actually believe you when you say you never had intentions of dropping out of Eyeliner and are willing to stick it out. I hope you keep that promise, to yourself and to the house.

and sidenote: the responses youre getting are NOTHING compared to what you could be getting. so count your stars.

What's wrong with me being nice and honest? Besides, i said myself that some comments were catty and shallow. I also said (and if I didn't I meant to) that I didn't want to feel this way but couldn't help it. I was telling to not only explain my story but to get out what I was feeling, as I don't feel I will move past otherwise. If my thoughts are wrong and you suggest I keep them to myself, you still think I am a horrible person for what I think. I want to move on. Sometimes your heart won't do what your head says.

How can you agree with their comments when it's not what they said? They assumed I was always "little miss pretty" and not as much in college. You echoed the opposite which is what I had already said was the case so I think we agree. Yes, I said in the first post, I thought I belonged in those because of the way I looked.

I didn't deep down identify with eyeliner. I straight up liked them. They are extremely kind and accepting girls and I loved that in sisters. Again, I already said that I needed to get past what others think. I think we agree because you are reiterating some of my points lol

Count my stars? Please. I've done nothing wrong I feel. If I am a bad person, and don't deserve eyeliner fine. I don't need things to be sugarcoated. I'm simply having thoughts I can't control that I want to vanish so I can embrace eyeliner completely. This is where I'm being completely honest.

The more years I gain in age, the more kindness resonates with me. I really notice when people go out of their way to be kind, and I also notice when people don't (for whatever reason) make the effort. I think you noticed it as well when you were going through recruitment. I also think you made a great choice of chapters, and will be very content with your choice in the long run.

And of course, you can be both kind AND good lookin'. ;)

its possible to agree with someone and have your own opinion at the same time.

do you want me to just be OK with your comments because you've keep mentioning you know how wrong/shallow/catty, etc they sound?

its like starting off a statement with "i know this is going to sound really racist but..." should one not be offended because they were warned?

meh, i really had no intentions of disagreeing this much with you. im actually interested in your story, especially since its the time of year where all the junior transfers who wonder if theyre making the right decision during rush are coming around. :)

seriously, i want you to finish the story, im interested. would i stick around a comment if i thought you were a bad person and such?

i just want to be able to move past what i'm feeling, and i feel as if i reveal my chapter and school now it will be dragged down with the story. i want to get to a place of satisfaction and be all "i'm an EYELINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"