A few questions...help please?
 

1. So today is the second night of rush at our school. Last night, we vistied 9 houses and narrowed them down to 7. When I got the houses who I was supposed to visit, I got two of the ones which I was iffy about and the two which I eliminated the night before. Please also note that the two I didn't want were REALLY desperate for girls to join (one is a new one and the other I just didn't feel a "connection" with). I was wondering something. I want to want until tomorrow night to see if the two I liked call me back. If they don't, should I drop it and re-rush next year? (Preferance Night and Bid Night aren't for a few more days.)

2. Exactly how do the sororities call back the girls? When I visited the houses, the RC would give us papers with our names and recruitment ID # on it. When we were paired up with a girl from the sorority we were visiting, we would give her paper and she would do something with it. What do they do with the paper? And how do they decide?

3. If you listed yourself as legacy, do they actually check it? I'm a legacy in two of the sororities. Both of which I was dropped from and I found it weird because I thought I had a connection with one of them.

I appreciate all the help I can get with these questions.

By the way, my school is UC Irvine (UCI).

Oh im SO checking for the responses via BB tomorrow during my conference.

Paging KSUViolet for some good answers!...

I'm gonna give condensed answers of what everyone else is going to say -
1. Re-rushing next year will likely yield similar if not the same results. Those chapters saw something in you and want you as a sister - give them a chance!

2. What the sororities do with those papers varies from chapter to chapter, and is part of membership selection - which is highly private. No one can tell you -sorry.

3. They definitely know when you're a legacy.

I'm not a UC person but in general:

1) here's the thing ... PNMs do not "eliminate" any houses during recruitment, they simply mark their "preference". This is part of the mutual selection process ... and NO, at most schools, your best chance at obtaining the recruitment results you "prefer" will be to rush early in your academic career. Not saying that upper classmen don't have successful recruitments, but expecting a different result the 2nd, 3rd time, etc. is likely not going to happen.

2) you have no control over what is done with these papers by the chapters and as a PNM it is none of your business how individual chapters make decisions so don't worry about it.

3) yes, chapters do verify through their HQ who is a legacy. Also note that "legacy" status differs among chapters so while you may be considered a legacy through an aunt for one organzation, another may not recognize such a distant family connection. Further, your legacy would have to be in good standing with HQ for you to receive any benefit. And often times, chapters don't necessarirly have to give legacies any additional consideration, especially later in the recruitment process.

You attitude is crappy and you deserve getting cut from whatever houses you got cut from. Once you get cut from a house at recruitment, they won't show up on your schedule again. Some houses have a "once cut, always cut" rule, so you may not ever got a shot with the ones you wanted, even in future recruitments.

Hope that helps!

Sounds to me like you won't be joining a sorority. Have a nice day. :D

I think we blew the "Sunshine Up Your Ass" award for today. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.;)

I'll make an attempt. These are serious answers - I'm not being rude.

I can't speak for the "other" one, but the new one is not going to be "REALLY desperate" to get new members. Perhaps their conversations were a little more awkward, but cut them some freaking slack. They have NEVER recruited before. You cannot possibly expect them to be as polished in their conversation as the women in other sororities who have been doing it for years and working on it for a much longer time. I think the opportunity to join a new chapter is fantastic. You can be part of something that not many other people get a chance to be part of.

There are no call backs. Not in formal recruitment. They have released you - it is time to move on. They are no longer an option for you this year, and I'd say you have a 2% chance or less of joining in future years.

I assume you mean issue an invitation to come to the next round? That is a matter of each individual sorority's ritual and procedures. Everyone does it differently. I can only tell you how my sorority decides. But I'm not going to.

Could be any number of things. Most likely it is just to hand to an advisor or recruitment officer to show that you were in attendance. Sororities need to know who actually showed up for each party, and this is the best way to tell.

Again, a matter of private sorority business. But I am procrastinating the house cleaning and will throw you a bone here. It's based on MANY different things from your application and from your conversations. Sororities are looking for new members to fill certain niches and needs within their chapters. Some chapters might target athletes and choose to release all the prissy, girly girls. Some chapters might be focusing on raising their GPA and choose to release anyone will less than a 3.5. But that's the chapter's business and no one else's.

Yes they check it. I have two possible scenarios here: 1 - You aren't really a legacy. Nieces, cousins, steps, etc. might not necessarily be legacies. Just because you list a name and family member doesn't make you a legacy. You didn't clarify your relationship, so I have to assume this might be the situation. 2 - Many organizations are adjusting their invitation policies so that legacies are no longer guaranteed invitations to the second round. If the chapter doesn't feel you will fill the niches they are looking to fill, they'll let you go earlier so that you can explore the options left to you where you might really make a difference to a chapter.

Here's my opinion: Stick with it. There are hundreds of women across the US who would love to have as many options as you for sorority membership. Quit thinking about the chapters that are no longer on your schedule. Look for women in the chapters you do have that might have some similar interests as you - they obviously see that there might be a chance you could fit with them. And they will be releasing too. If you go in with a bad attitude and act like you are only there because you got cut from others, they will cut you VERY fast. If you show enthusiasm for being Greek, they will react to that.

And now my anecdote: I have had the opportunity to work with and observe recruitment on several campuses. One in particular has a chapter that for years would be what some call "desperate." But then one year they got 3 or 4 great new members who could have easily fit in the more popular chapters. And the next year, those 3 or 4 recruited 6 or 8 more just like them. And the year after that, those 10-12 girls turned that chapter into the most popular one on campus. If only some of these PNMs who think they are too good for some sororities would give sisterhood a chance, they could turn things around with a little hard work and determination and then THEY would be members of the "best" sorority.

Good job jwright25

I think KSUviolet must be out of town...she is noticeably absent from these threads, and I have come to count on her! :)

OP - do some reading of the other threads, and you will find the answers. Be willing to realize that you are thinking in a very narrowminded way with a very narrowminded approach. You must face each round in recruitment with a good attitude and play the cards you are dealt. Do not plan for next year, make this year work for you.

I completely understand why you would want to know all these questions. Going through recruitment can be a mysterious process and I don't think we always do a good job at preparing our PNM's for the process. I'll attempt to answer your questions and be nice.

You don't really "eliminate" the Chapters you rank them- I think we give you the false impression that if you list them last you will not be invited back. This is not the case. I'm assuming you had a full schedule because there are 12 Chapters at UC Irvine. You went to 12 then ranked them and got 9- great! Then you ranked your 9 and you got 4 back! Still very good progress. I would bet my last dollar you have a better schedule than 1/2 the girls going through recruitment. No Chapters are "desperate" for women. Recruitment is a mutual selection process and every chapter has a different number of total women. The houses that you think are desperate will have just as big of a new member class as any other group on Campus AND they will be a group of wonderful women- trust me on this one. I would strongly suggest you go through the process and join a group. Why do you want to miss a year of sisterhood, dances, date parties and all the super fun stuff that goes on???

Membership selection is a private matter, but usually groups are all "looking" for similar things. On someones thread they gave you some really good examples of what Chapters may be looking for. My group happens to be very open about what we look for and it is listed on our National web site.

If you are a legacy we know you're a legacy. Being a legacy does not mean your going to get an invitation back to any party except after the first round (I believe most if not all groups courtesy invite back legacies) If you were a legacy to a Chapter and they released you it is just a part of recruitment. Being a legacy is no guarantee for membership. Some PNM's go into parties thinking if they are a legacy they are a shoe in. That can be the kiss of death and it is a fast path to being released.

My advice to you is to fully participate with the groups you have. Be nice get to know the girls in the 4 houses you have left. You might find a real connection with 1 or 2 of them. We read about that all the time on this site. Stop listening to all the gossip. In my experience this has gotten PNM's into more trouble. Good luck to you.

Excuse me, but my attitude is not "crappy". I went in with an open mind. The reason I said they were "desperate" is because they were pitching it to me REALLY hard. I do not want to feel pressured into joining a sorority. I want to join it because that's where I feel the most comfortable. And with the way they were acting, I wasn't very comfortable around them.


AXOrushadvisor, thank you for your input. It really helped a lot.

So are you saying that there is no possibility that maybe they just wanted you as a sister that much? That only people who were desperate for members would want you to join?

Some chapters and members of chapters are just not good at remaining subtle when they like a PNM or even just really want to do a good job at recruiting. Unfortunately, if a chapter has smaller numbers, those members can't hide by finding some other way to help out during recruitment. Try not to hold it against an entire chapter, and that doesn't necessarily mean they're desperate.

I'm a HORRIBLE recruiter. I come off as pushy and over eager, and in general am just the world's suckiest recruiter. I realize that.

After my first formal recruitment I was a rho gamma because I figured out that that was the best way I could help all the chapters, including my own. I also had the opportunity during informal to take more of a behind-the-scenes role, plus I was more comfortable because less pressure on PNMs means less pressure on the chapters as well.

In your situation, I guess that little anecdote is neither here nor there. I would agree with other posters that your attitude could use a little adjustment. In my opinion, it's never appropriate to just drop without exploring all the options available to you. You may be surprised.

I will never understand why PNMs have it in their heads that dropping early means they'll have different results next year.

Well with the way they were doing everything, I don't know. Maybe they did really want me as a sister or maybe they just wanted bigger numbers. But either way, I was a little turned off about how they were presenting everything.

There's that "I didn't feel a connection" crap, again! Stop with that bad attitude and thinking you are "too good" for these other houses that were supposedly "desperate" for a girl. I wish those chapters luck in finding incredible women who don't have your attitude.

Don't just drop out. Why are there so many girls coming on the board now saying they want to drop out? Is this the generation that is next in line? I can't even imagine just dropping out because I didn't get all the chapters back I wanted. If you really care about being Greek (and you need to think about what being Greek even means-it isn't just popularity and parties) then you will give every chapter an equal shot. If you don't-I will not feel bad for you because you were too much of a snob to accept your bid and give those women the opportunity to show you what great things can come out of being in an NPC.

P.S. I doubt those girls were "desperate"-I just think you need to get over yourself. :rolleyes:

Does anyone else think the OP lied about being a legacy and they found out and dropped her b.c of that? just reading between the lines, not sure why anyone would ask something like that.

Also to the OP, maybe what you find "desperate" is actually the organization's love and enthusiasm for their chapter. They probably feel you would be a great fit and are conveying that in being overly enthused. I think you should think about the reasons you want to join a sorority, if you only want to join the "top" house or the house with the prettiest girls etc.. you should know that as you get older these things matter less and less. Try to look at the big picture and what lifetime sisterhood and bonds mean. Trust me when I tell you that it is not about who wins homecoming, or does socials with the best fraternities. Every sorority stands for something much deeper and it's the life lessons and rituals that make you want to be a better person that really matter.

Good luck but I think you need to change your attitude and figure out what you really want.

I actually think you might be right. They're sort of new on campus (established about a few years ago) so it totally makes sense.

I wouldn't lie about being a legacy. It's like what Kansas_City said. My parents weren't in the Greek system but my cousins were. I listed them down and I guess it's not considered "legacy" at my school.

**EDIT:

The house that I didn't feel a connection with IS a top house, but I'm not sure if it's worth it if I couldn't even keep a conversation going with some of the girls.

It's probably not a "legacy" anywhere, but some chapters might give a cousin special consideration.

Regarding re-rushing next year...honestly, your chances are probably best now. While sophomores and juniors do receive bids at UCI, freshmen make up the bulk of new member classes. The sororities that asked you back liked you. I'd give them a chance.

I also have to say...discretion is a good thing.