Shy One Invited to Open Recruitment
 

This is my first year at this particular university. I switched majors from a fine arts major to a medical major, so where I would have been once a junior, I am now classified as a sophomore due to prerequisites.

Two days ago, we had a group project for science, and the professor placed me as the project leader. When I am nervous, I tend to make jokes, and because I am shy, this happens frequently in group settings where I do not know anyone. The girls were all having a bit of a rough day, and to try to lighten the mood, I started to crack a few jokes, which helped. One of them started to discuss personality quirks, and we each discussed own of our own and how it affected us. I mentioned the one I previously stated about me being painfully shy and how, while I would love to rush for a sorority, I was afraid I would be too shy to speak up during the meeting events.

I didn't realize I had a sister in our group. She brighten when I mentioned I was interested in looking into sororities, and she formally invited me to an open recruitment event next weekend. Excited (and still utterly nervous), I accepted. While I do not think the fact I am a legacy at this chapter will affect my standing since it is an open recruitment event, I am still very much excited about the possibility of overcoming my shyness and being involved in such a wonderful sisterhood.

However, I am wary that my shyness will get in the way. Does anyone have any unique suggestions about how to not let the proverbial cat catch my tongue? I really hope this works out - these seem like fantastic girls to be with (although house is very lovely here!).

You should go and be yourself just like you were when you got invited to the event. Not everyone in a house needs to be loud and outgoing. Quiet and shy are traits that can be appreciated if the member is dedicated and a hard worker. Good luck.

My husband was very introverted before I met him. We used to do an exercise that helped him in social situations. Before we went anywhere, we would come up with three things that he can talk about that are going on in his life. In a recruitment situation, you could do that as well as come up with three things you might want to know more about sorority life or the chapter. These topics are like a tool box that you can draw from if you get nervous and conversation lags. I have a feeling that since you now have a connection to the group though, you'll do just fine. Good luck! :)

Someone, (was it AphiAnna?) wrote a great thread about conversation.... maybe if you search some key words around recruitment, conversation, etc. it will pop up.

I would have gone mad if all of my sisters had been outgoing. I am outgoing, and loved, loved, loved my more reflective and intuitive sisters. Good luck!!!

Even if you don't end up going Greek, it's going to be good for you. Trust me, recruitment is excellent practice for Real Life, which is full of interviews and "forced" social situations.

If you're ever really stuck for conversation, you can even mention that you're shy, but that you're having fun and feeling welcomed, even though the situation is a little intimidating. I think even the boldest of us consider ourselves "a little shy" in specific situations like recruitment, so most people will sympathize, and it will help them realize you're interested, just feeling a little self-conscious.

Our sorority was by far the most raucous, boisterous one at our campus, and yet we had several very quiet girls, who just enjoyed our energy. At a recent reunion in Las Vegas, one of the most quiet, Kris, ones mentioned another of the shyer girls, saying "I never understood why Jane was an ASA - she hardly fit the mold." The entire table just sat there stunned! But Kris had been a happy ASA for 4 years of college, and had as much fun at the reunion as anyone, so she felt that SHE fit in, which was really all that mattered.

Definitely mention that you are a legacy to this organization! It is important no matter when you are being recruited! Informal recruitment is more laid back than formal recruitment so don't freak yourself out about how to act. Like others have said, be yourself. Crack a few jokes. Ask the sisters about themselves, about what they do together as a group, about why they like to be members of their sorority. One of the keys to conversations is getting the other person in the conversation to talk about themselves...always everyone's favorite topic! They'll try to naturally turn the conversation back to you, but you'll have a way to get important information and to keep awkward silences from occurring. Good luck!

That woman obviously liked you enough that she could see you as her sister. Just go and be nice. Informal recruitment is where shy girls can really shine, because they can take that time to get to know you without feeling totally rushed.
Good luck! I hope everything works well for you! I know that some of our best members came through informal, and many of them were too shy to go through formal rush.

Two little bits of advice:

People WANT to have a good conversation or a good time. Listen to what they are saying.

The other, a true story happened to me when I was very young and shy. I was at a friend's home. They were socially very well connected and had invited the Secretary of State (of the United States) for lunch. He was known for his wit, panache...and his eye for the ladies. My girlfriend and I came in from the pool (with a coverup on) and I was seated next to ..the Secretary of State. I panicked...until he started talking to me. We talked through lunch, laughing and talking about serious subjects.

After lunch we said good bye and I told him that I was naturally shy. He laughed and said, "No, you are not. But whenever I meet someone is IS, or thinks that they are terribly importent I always ask them about the most fascinating person on earth...them. I find it opens up the conversation."

Enjoy yourself!

I appreciate everyone's very helpful responses.

I was invited to an event last night, which I took part in. It was an informal event, but it met the number of sisters in attendance requirement. We went to an Italian restaurant for a sister's birthday, and the girl who invited me to the event at the end of the week invited me on a spur. I was nervous, but I put that aside and sucked it up and went.

I tried to mingle with all of the girls around me, asking them questions about where they were from and assorted things about themselves, as well as giving them a bit of information about myself. I tried not to fall too silent, but there were occasions that I would, so I would push through them with another question. ;)

They invited me back to the house and gave me a tour. While I don't feel as though I talked a lot, there were still quite a few girls I felt comfortable around, and as weird as it sounds, it felt natural being in the house, laughing with those girls. Even if I am not given a bid, I think I have found a few new girls who might become good friends.

When the girl who invited me took me back home, she told me that I had met a lot of the people she had wanted me to meet (such as the president, who was extremely nice), and she believed I had a decent chance at being selected, although she said she could not, of course, tell me that on the record or as a fact. She stated that she felt I had fit in, and she would love to have me a sister.

Like I said, a big thank you to those who helped me out with their responses. Even if I don't become a sister in this house, these are some really great girls, and just because I don't become a sister doesn't mean they cannot be friends. Wish me luck!

good luck!

I'm so happy it went well for you - you have such a great attitude. Good luck!

So great!!! That's exactly how these informal events should work. I'm proud of you for going out on a limb (I'm shy...I know what it's like), and I'm also proud of the girl who invited you. That's hard to do, too.

That's awesome! Thank you for keeping us up to date.

Your attitude is really wonderful, and I appreciate how challenging that type of situation can be for someone who is reserved. You took the chance and met some great new potential friends, and I suspect, grew a bit more confident in the process. In the end, that is what recruitment should be... meeting new friends who mutually decide to become sisters because they bring out the best in each other. Best of luck!

Congratulations...no matter what happens, you just learned a great lesson for the future. That is exactly how you get through the myriad of cocktail parties and other social events you'll likely be forced to attend for the rest of your life!

What a delightful little thread...I hope there is another update soon. I'm so glad that you feel you have made some new friends.

This thread was refreshing.:)

I do wish you the very best!

This really is the benefit of informal recruitment. At formal events you are under pressure to make an impression in such a short period of time. So you went to dinner, were able to talk and NOT talk (a girl has to take a bite after all) and introduce yourself to these girls in a much more realistic environment. Good for you. All you have to be is nice and friendly. The other good news is informal recruitment is usually pretty short, so you should know soon if you're in. I'm hoping the best for you!

I just want to give everyone a small update on how it is coming for me.

I will be doing my second required event at the end of this week. I am excited, as it will be a large gathering of the sisters at the house for a dinner and a movie. Beforehand, I am hoping to attend another sorority's philanthropy event with a few of the XYZ sisters to should support from the sorority I am CORing for.

When the sister invited me to the dinner, she mentioned how she and her sisters had really enjoyed my company and that she was relieved I had had a great time at the earlier event. I definitely made sure to thank her for the opportunity! I reassured her I had been wonderful girls who I felt comfortable with and enjoyed being around.

Once I have attended this event, XYZ will vote to give me a bid this coming Sunday. I will be out of town for work, so I will not know if I have gotten it until Monday. Wish me luck!

sounds like you are well on your way, but just in case you think you need it, here's a *sprinkle of good luck fairy dust* specially for you!

i like this tread. even if you don't make it (i HOPE you do!) you'd then know that you're capable of putting yourself out there and going after what you want!! all the best! :)

the best of luck to you!!

Good luck!!!

Good Luck you will do great!

i love your attitude!
best wishes to you in your endeavour!

You have a wonderful attitude! Good luck this weekend!

Sunflowers, you have a great attitude. I'm so glad you're enjoying yourself and I wish you the best!!



ETA: I really like your handle... sunflowers are fun!

I'm hope for good news on Monday. But whatever happens, I'm glad that you've enjoyed the process.

Fingers crossed for good news!

As a side note: My sister is quite reserved. She's not the type to "put herself out there" - she's fine in a group of friends, but not so good at conversation with people she doesn't know. If you would have known her in high school, you would have never guessed that she would have ended up not only joining a sorority, but eventually becoming its president! (Heck, she wouldn't have guessed it either!) I saw her grow so much through her involvement and I hope you will get a similar chance as well!

Cant wait for Monday!! Lots of luck Sunflowers :)

Well, no news is good news right? :p

I have not heard either way from XYZ, and the sister who had invited me to the events was not in class on Monday. I find it rude to go out of my way to ask whether or not they voted on me this Sunday, so I am patiently playing the waiting game. It is likely they have not voted on me, as this particular sister sometimes is forgetful, so I am trying not to worry too much about it. (Although, I do have to admit, it is kind of hard not to worry! The only downfall of informal rush that I can see is the fact you do not know when you will or will not be voted upon; with formal, at least there is a specific day that you know for sure whether or not you'll receive a bid. ;))

I appreciate all of the encouragement and the PMs I have received in support. I will admit, if I do not receive a bid, I will be disappointed, but at least it has been a wonderful, fun learning experience, and I met quite a few wonderful girls in the process. Now the nail-biting begins, haha.

I can understand how difficult waiting must be. I wish our chapter had a policy of notifying girls who didn't receive bids so that they weren't just waiting for "the phone call that never came". One girl who did not receive a COB bid contacted me at like 3 in the morning of the night we were calling girls, asking if she had gotten a bid. It really broke my heart.

Hopefully you'll get some good news soon! We have had circumstances where we call girls late, but if a few days go by and you still don't know, you may want to contact the recruitment chair. Once we left a voicemail for a girl and she never got it, so she thought she hadn't gotten a bid. Eek!

I don't wish to instill false hopes, but being invited to one series (for lack of a better word) did not always mean we would make a decision one way or another at that time. That's why we didn't call and say "you didn't receive a bid" - because she might be getting one a month later.

I received my phone call tonight while I was out to dinner with my boyfriend - and missed it! I called back as soon as I saw I had missed a call, thinking it was the manager of the place I had applied for a few hours earlier. I felt like (and probably sounded like) a goober when I realized it was actually the other!

The sister officially extended the bid - and I immediately accepted. This place and these girls feel like the place I imagined when I thought of sororities in the past, and I and my family all have strong personal ties to the associated philanthropy. While all of the other sororities are great in their own way, I could not imagine one fitting as well as this one.

I am sure you guys are interested in which one it is after these last few weeks. That sorority would be:














Alpha Delta Pi. :D

For privacy reasons, I will only release the chapter name via PM, but there is not a way I could be more excited to be a part of this wonderful, new family! Thank you guys again for all of the encouragement and advice. I have appreciated it greatly!

Congratulations to you and to Alpha Delta Pi! What a terrific ending to a very sweet story. Make lots of memories...

I'm so glad it worked out for you! Congrats to you and ADPi!

Congratulations! That's so exciting!

Awesome! Congratulations! I hope you enjoy being a part of Alpha Delta Pi. And to think, all of this started with you mentioning how you'd like to join a sorority but were afraid to go through recruitment!