How expensive are newborns?
 

As everyone knows, I've got a kid on the way. We're expecting in April. I'm just trying to debate if I need to get a second job or not. Something part time. I hear newborns are expensive. How expensive are they? I'm only asking members who have kids, or have friends who have kids.

Thanks

I feel this can be a simple answer. It all depends what you feel your baby needs. I have seen people buy the most ridiculous amount of things that a baby does not need. It becomes more of what a parent wants, if you KWIM? A baby needs very little. It does not need all of the fancy equipment, so many pieces of clothing, and a fancy nursery. Keep in mind they grow very fast! It becomes such a waste of money if you go overboard.

I would say a part time job now is wise if you are nervous about the financial aspect. I would want you to work now a bit more and when your baby grows into a toddler spend more time with the child. You will want to enjoy that toddler as much as possible. If your other half is willing to let you work and is supportive it might be wise now. She can handle the baby at this time - not that you are not important at this time, but if she candle handle a bit more time with the baby - go work now.

Keep things simple now. That is my advice. They need love, food, minimal equipment, and just enough clothing. (don't forget health insurance) Clip some coupons!

Consider buying mom something for the birth of the baby. I think that would be a nice touch. (doesn't have to be ridiculously expensive)

I wish you the very best!

I have a 2 year old and a 10 month old.

First, find out if the mom will nurse. Breastfeeding is free. Formula runs $12-26 (generic vs. name brand) a can, plus bottles, etc. A can lasts 1-2 weeks, depending on baby's age, . That really adds up over the course of a year. But this is a decision that the mom gets to make by herself. I worked full time and pumped, so while it can be done, this is something for mom to decide. Sorry, you don't get a vote here!

Diapers/wipes are a fixed expense. I use Pampers, but there are cheaper ways to go. Pampers are $20 box, with number of diapers in a box decreasing as the size increases. Plan for 10-12 diapers at the newborn stage. My 10 month old goes through about 6 a day. The key to buying diapers is to do the math on cost per diapers. All companies sell variety of sizes of boxes, and the biggest box is not necesary the best value. Babies R Us is the worst about this.

Wipes cost money too, and you will go through them like water. We go through about 1-2 packs a week between the 2 kids (oldest is potty trained except for nap and overnight)

Baci is right. Just like companies that do wedding registries, the Babies R Us, Targets, etc of the world will try to convince you that you need everything. My husband and I waited a long time to have kids and were in a very financially secure place when we did. Yes, we went overboard with the buying. Even with 2 kids I don't know that we got the money's worth on a lot of it. You really just don't need it all.

The basics/must haves:
-- car seat- many of these come with a compatible stroller. Go that route.
-- crib
-- a swing (see below)
-- one playmat would be nice, but not necesary
-- some onesies/sleep n plays


Ways to save money:
1. Consignment sales. I personally like this one, if there is one in your area. There is NO NEED to buy all the stuff new. This especially applies to clothes. Babies wear their clothes for max of 3 months. You can get new-looking clothes at consignment sales. You can also get designer clothes at reduced prices. All the swings, strollers, etc can be bought at these sales. People like me are looking to make a buck off our of stuff! Do not buy the car seat used.

2. Do not go overboard on the nursery. Seriously. Just a crib set from Target and some paint on the wall. That is it! Kids grow fast and will want something new in no time flat.

3. Buy the travel sized swing ($40) and not the full sized swing ($135). The kids is just as happy in it and you can take it with you.

4. Do not scrimp on medical insurance. In fact, if you have the option to pay a little more in your plan to decrease the co-pay each MD visit then I would suggest that route for at least the first year. You will have doc visits at 2 weeks, 2 months, 4 months, 6 months, 9 months and 12 months. You may also have one 3 days after hospital discharge. Those are WELL baby checks. Plan for at least 4-8 additional sick baby visits.

5. If you live in an area that is served by Dolly Parton's Imagination Library then sign up for it. You get a free book every month until the kid is 5. Get a library card for books. Read to the kid 20 minutes a day, but you don't have to break the bank to do so.

6. I was told to plan on 3 outfits a day (spit ups, diaper blow-outs, etc), and to do the math on how often that I wanted to do laundry. Foolishly I bought 21 outfits for the first kid. What a stupid waste. Plus, my first was not one that spit up. I could keep him in one outfit all day. Wait until the munchkin gets here to learn if you really do need a stockpile of extra clothes.

Those are off the top of my head at 6am. I am sure that I will think of more later. Hope that it helps.

To go off of what Blondie said, yes, a carseat is your #1 necessity; they won't let you leave the hospital without one!! BUT - don't buy one used!!

Maybe see if one of your relatives or friends can host a co-ed baby shower for you. I have a 5-month old, and the majority of her stuff came from showers!

If you are debating to get a second job...then more than likely you need one.

And the way the question is asked...it sounds so.....callous??

"I hear <fill in the blanks> are expensive... Blah Blah Blah"

Wake up call, your lifestyle is about to change.

Let me put a spin on it like this. That child you created is your responsibility for the next 18 to 20 years, how about planning WAAAAAAAAAY past the newborn stage?

I dunno...diapers, milk, food, clothes, education, toys, trips, insurance (now there is a question...how do you plan on covering your child with your insurance?) car, apartment.....and everything else?

Stop debating what you think you 'may need to do' and do it because this child is going to need every bit of support you can give it!

Do clip coupons! Coupons for diapers and baby wipes are in the paper almost every week.

Breast feeding is not only good for the baby but it is also free. If this is something that cannot be done for some reason or if the choice is made not to do it, still look for coupons. Occassionally they have coupons for baby formula (though not as many as they have for diapers).

Most of the things you can get in great condition at a consignment store or friends who no longer need them--crib, swings, strollers, etc. I would probably fork over the money for a new car seat. Unless you know well the person selling you/giving you a used one, dont buy a used one. Once a car seat has been involved in a car accident, it should meet five criteria before being reused:
http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/people/inju...raintReUse.htm

A car seat is something you need to have before leaving the hospital to go home. Most hospitals will not allow you to take the baby home without one.

I would go for the second job at least right now, just in case. Put as much of your money away as you can. The sooner you get used to not spending your money on yourself, the better.

Plus, there are a lot of things that can't really be planned for that are expensive.

If you don't have health insurance, get it now.

ETA: If you're not used to clipping coupons, start now. There are a lot of things you can save money on in the mean time that get you ready for clipping for NECESSARY items, like diapers and wipes. Read the ads that the grocery store sends you. I don't have a child but I save a TON of money every week for groceries by planning a list by where the items I need are less expensive and sometimes I'll do 2-3 different stores in a week. Of course, I have 3 grocery stores plus Target within a half mile of my house. If you have to drive a decent distance between them you're not really saving any money because of the gas you're using.

Be careful about this. Sometimes a smaller box of diapers is cheaper per diaper than the jumbo size or the one marked "value pack."

Find out whether your state requires you to pay for the costs related to the birth. Some states force the father to reimburse the state or the mother for those costs. Also, figure out what child support is going to cost. Start saving ASAP for the birth if you have to pay for it. It ain't cheap.

As for figuring up child support, you can usually find an online calculator, just run this search in Google and you should get something:

[yourstatenamehere] & "Child Support Calculator"

It is not always automatic that mom gets custody, so she might even be paying you depending on how things turn out.

If you're not getting married, see if y'all can't agree to some sort of visitation schedule. Many states have different visitation schedules for newborns. I think that's complete BS of course. If mom's breastfeeding, buy her a pump so the kid won't starve during your time and things should be a-okay. Were I in your shoes, I'd be shooting for *immediate* 50/50 time and whatever species of joint custody the state has which leaves neither parent with superior rights to make the major decisions in the kid's life.

Your lawyer can give you the specifics on how to accomplish things... just realize that the sky is pretty much the limit as to what you can agree to with your babymomma. Work with her and develop a good, non-adversarial parenting relationship with her. Demand that she respect your rights as a parent, but go out of your way to respect hers as well. Parents who can't agree on simple, simple things pay my bills, so remember that your goal is to someday put your kid through college -- not put your lawyer's kid through college.

Second consignment sales. I'd never heard of them until I moved to the south, and they are fabulous. I have picked up tons of adorable and barely worn clothes for only a couple of dollars each, and this includes brand names like Ralph Lauren. Plus they have tons of gear, tons of toys, everything you could possibly need.

Also check out craigslist. I found most of my nursery furniture that way and this time around have found all my slings and other gear through it.

There are a lot of lists online about what you do or do not need. Some people think things that I loved are a waist (like swings, mine was a lifesaver), but they'll tell you that some things like wipe warmers aren't usually necessary. Every child is different and will like different things, so you may want to wait to buy some of those types of things until the baby is born. Don't forget that you can still shop.

One final thought. Now is the time to get the part time job. Keep in mind that your SO may need you at home more once the baby comes. I had very bad PPD after no depression issues ever, came as a total shock. I needed my husband home as much as he could be so I could get a mental break. But ever if your SO doesn't have issues like that, she'll probably want a break regardless. Just keep that in mind.

GC should not be your first and main source of information.

Put on your big boy pants and, along with the mother of the child, figure this out.

Going back to that last thread...just think if you wore a condom and not listened to her, you wouldn't be reading these posts.

Hopefully that'll learn ya!

I have a 5 month old. We don't spend much on her. We don't have tons of toys and clothes and crap for her. She's content playing with her blankets, bink and a few stuffed animals. I buy diapers and wipes at Sam's Club. A box of 250 or so costs about $40 and lasts nearly a month. I don't remember what the wipes costs, but they're not too bad. I breastfeed, so it costs me nothing.

Sign up on websites like pampers.com or huggies.com and they send you coupons.

My Brother and SIL have a toddler and go way overboard - brand name clothes, tons of toys, you name it.

Check out websites like www.babycenter.com or babyzone.com. They have more info on estimated costs. I was reading that formula can cost around $1300 a year or more, which I think is ridiculous for someone to pay if you can breastfeed (some women struggle immensely or other factors come in to play that make it difficult or impossible). Seriously talk to the mom about breastfeeding. It is her decision and it is difficult to stick with, but there are many, many benefits for the baby, mom and your pocketbook. If you go the formula route, find their website and get the coupons. Many send $5 off coupons every month or so. Have your parents and friends sign up too and then they can give you the coupons they get.

As others mentioned, insurance is a must. Mom will have monthly, then bi-weekly and then weekly visits to her OB. Delivery is expensive even with insurance. You get bills for the mom and for the baby with the delivery. Baby has dr visits at 1 week, 2 weeks, 4 weeks, then 2, 4, 6 and 12 months for check ups. That's if the baby doesn't get sick or have health problems.

If you can work more now just to save up, it will help. Cut back on your expenses now to help save.

Start looking into day care if that will be needed. It is super expensive and depending on where you live, they often have waiting lists.

Good suggestion. I put my name on a waiting list as soon as I found out I was pregnant. 4 years later, I'm still on that waiting list (unnecessarily at this point, but I'm staying on it just to see how long it actually takes).

Xanthus, according to this article, it costs $221,000 to raise a kid to age 17 (so, pre-college costs). If you can swing that second job, it's probably a good idea.

There's a store called Once Upon a Child - it calls itself a "gently used" store. I've been to several, some of which are better than others. If there's one near you, you should check it out. It's a great place to find good deals on all kinds of things (they have everything: cribs, strollers, clothes, etc...). As others have said, however, don't buy a used car seat.

You have received some great advice re 2nd job, coupons, daycare, etc. Save as much as you can now so that you can be around to help with the newborn.

If you are willing to accept hand-me-downs, let your family, friends and neighbors (even colleagues) who have older children know. Our neighbors started leaving stuff on the front porch: baby bathtubs, bouncy chairs, maternity clothes, etc. My colleagues gave us pack-n-plays, clothes, a high chair, etc. People just wanted to get it out of their homes ;-) We received so much that we were able to give some duplicates away. In the first year you need some gear for a very limited amount of time because the baby outgrows it so fast.

Breast feeding is the best for mom and baby. But it can be frustrating at first. YOU can make a difference in how successful the mom is.

Yet another person suggesting coupons. Some libraries or such have coupon exchanges (all those involved cut out every coupon, and give those they don't need to the exchange). Friends of mine subscribe to a eletter that gives a LOT of money saving tips, like how to make wipes, using a vinyl-backed tablecloth for the floor with a toddler, and other things. I'll ask them for the site.

But I really love the suggestion baci gave you about buying something for mom. One of my treasured possessions is a china clock that my g-grandfather gave my g-grandmother on the birth of my grandmother - almost 100 years old now. Your child may appreciate that in time, too.

Hope all turns out well!

Dude grow up. I already put that behind me. I'm moving on now. If you're only going to make negative comments, why make them?

Yeah, I have. Thanks guys for your thoughts on this. This is a lot for me to take in. No one is hiring except for fast food places, so I had to fill out an app. at those places for the time being. Taco Bell called me back the same day. I have an interview with them on Tuesday. I'm in sales, so I actually have a nice job, but I know my salary is not going to cut it. After reading this and from what I've been told, it's a must that I get a second job. It will only be part time, but any extra income will help.

Kevin, thanks man. Everything you've mentioned except for the custody part was very helpful. I mentioned the custody part, because that's already a given. The court wouldn't see her as an unfit mother, so I wouldn't even waste time looking into that. So, it's plain and simple, I'll be paying child support.

Thanks again guys.

edit: also, she is not my significant other.

It varies from state to state of course, but the idea that mom automatically gets custody is completely false (at least here).

SO TRUE!!!
It gets way easier after about 2 months, but the first 2 weeks or so can be quite difficult!

You also need to consider unexpected costs. A sick child is costly if they need to go to the hospital, take expensive meds, have continual problems, etc. My daughter cost us doctors visits for normal sick kids. My son was born very sick and spent 75 days of his first year in and out of the hospital (including 20 days in the NICU). He had other hospital admissions, physical therapy, speech therapy, vision therapy, psychiatrist, tutoring to get through school, etc, BUT today he is thriving at the local community college and doing very well!

Best wishes!

DaffyKD

It's great, that you are getting second job. Hopefully she is working as long as she can during the pregnancy. If you can (and if it doesn't freak you out), go to as many appts with her as you can
Yup, the condom remark was SO uncalled for. What's done is done, and there is nothing you can do to change it, so why go there? :confused:
I know this sounds harsh, but are you going to get a DNA test?
I hope everything goes well, hon

You should really be talking to the mother of your kid about this, not asking random people on GC about this. There is no specific figure, it will vary based on where you live, where the mother lives in relation to you, whether your child is healthy, etc, etc, etc.

If you have to ask, get the second job, get yourself insurance, get a paternity test ASAP and keep it moving. You have more important things to worry about now that the opinions of an online chat community.

This is worse than spoonfeeding a clueless GLO aspirant.

How on Earth do other people figure this stuff out without GC? The wonders of the world never cease to amaze me. :)

I hear there about 8 grand on the black market. Unless you want an Asian one. Asian newborns cost more. Mostly because there are fewer of them, what with China's law about that and all.

FYI There has been a lot of news lately about used or older cribs. Some are notorious for babies getting stuck in, and there have been deaths. There have been consumer warning to not re-use a crib - there are rarely recalls a few years after a product fails (outside of cars). A lot of families use cribs over and over, which can contribute to the problem. This is something else you might want to buy new.

Always look at the "Unit Price" - the price per item/ounce/etc. Because of differences in product sizes, amounts, etc., you're not always comparing apples to apples.

Yeah...I mean, no offense to the people who have responded, but if I were planning for a kid, GC would be one of the last places I would go for advice.

Xanthus - don't you have any friends or relatives you can talk to about this?

Buy the book called Baby Bargains. It's like a super-detailed Consumer Reports for baby stuff, it's updated every 2 years. It has really broken down all of the baby gear and costs for me and my husband.

But seriously, this is not the place to be getting advice on this sort of stuff. Get some help in real life, and start getting that paternity test lined up!

you guys keep telling the OP "don't come on GC, go ask people IRL" etc yet you are still giving him advice. why bother if he can get what hes looking for here? if the assumption is that those around him will give him better/more relevant advice, then that means you discount what you post here to him.

http://www.pledgepark.com/images/smilies/thought.gif

I don't know why people have replied to either of his threads.

Not everyone who has said "talk to people in real life" has then turned around and given him advice. Some of us have avoided giving advice for just that reason.

ETA: I tend to think that for something as important as a new child, he should be looking in places other than a message board.

tld221 is talking about those who did that and not those of us who did not. :)

Xanthus seems to be the bad combination of lazy and an oversharer.

Sorry, but the use of this term made me laugh. It sounded like a pun in light of the previous posts...

How do you know I haven't gone to others? I also come here to ask advice because you can see for yourself based on not only your posts, but also on Kevin's, kddani's, and others who have mentioned things I didn't know about. Kevin has mentioned things not only that I didn't know, but information I wouldn't even know who to ask in real life. You guys don't know me, can't see me, hear me, etc. I could be standing next to you at the grocery store and you wouldn't know it was me. So I don't see what the big deal is about me posting tmi. So what if it's a message board, it's still great info I can use coming from REAL LIFE educated professional people.

Yeah, I have friends who I talk to, but I haven't told my relatives yet.

Haha, good post.

Probably the same reason why you reply to some of the threads you post on. If it doesn't interest you then why did you show up? I was simply asking for advice on expenses I'll be expecting, and I'm getting information and pms about information I didn't know about that can save me a ton of money in the long run. You haven't brought anything positive to this thread so why did you post?

Also guys, I have an interview at Taco Bell Tuesday.