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-   -   Question reguarding joining a fraternity (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=107101)

cheah 08-29-2009 07:47 PM

Question reguarding joining a fraternity
 
I was a freshman last year and decided to pledge sae in the fall. I have nothing but good things to say about it, however I transferred schools and all of my friends at this new school are in different fraternities. I really would like to join one of these, and my friends really would like me too also, but I have been told by other sources I can't since I was initiated my freshman year. Can anyone please give me a way that I could possibly accomplish this without just affiliating, and if anyone knows of any fraternities have rules that do not prohibit initiating prior initiates could I please have a list of those. Thanks for the help.

Gusteau 08-29-2009 08:02 PM

NO. Not if its another NIC fraternity.

This thread is about the topic. http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=103426

Psi U MC Vito 08-29-2009 08:29 PM

http://www.nicindy.org/about_us/by_laws/

Right there in the NIC Bylaws. And just to let you know, from my understanding most organizations don't recognize the concept of withdrawing membership.

cheah 08-29-2009 08:59 PM

I don't understand why it matters if its a completely different school and completely different chapter

rhoyaltempest 08-29-2009 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheah (Post 1841260)
I don't understand why it matters if its a completely different school and completely different chapter

It matters because you pledged your loyalty to a specific fraternity, not just to a chapter. It's really sad that you don't get this and that you obviously didn't take your pledge seriously and for life.

Gusteau 08-29-2009 09:09 PM

-Bangs head on desk-

There is no expiration date on the vow you took to your fraternity.

knight_shadow 08-29-2009 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gusteau (Post 1841244)
NO. Not if its another NIC fraternity.

This thread is about the topic. http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...d.php?t=103426

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1841248)
http://www.nicindy.org/about_us/by_laws/

Right there in the NIC Bylaws. And just to let you know, from my understanding most organizations don't recognize the concept of withdrawing membership.

The NIC bylaws say:

Quote:

Be mutually exclusive of and in competition with other general fraternities, meaning that no member fraternity shall initiate a member of another fraternity until such time as the second fraternity shall have been formally notified in writing by the national office of the first fraternity that a candidate for membership in the second fraternity is no longer regarded as a member of the fraternity.
So a person could get initiated after withdrawing membership from the previous fraternity. Now whether or not you will get a second chance is a different story.

Psi U MC Vito 08-29-2009 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1841281)
The NIC bylaws say:



So a person could get initiated after withdrawing membership from the previous fraternity. Now whether or not you will get a second chance is a different story.

You need to get an official letter from your national office, which most would not grant. And there are fraternities that actually themselves require that you have never been in a similar organization, or so I have been told.

Jeremy121588 08-29-2009 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheah (Post 1841260)
I don't understand why it matters if its a completely different school and completely different chapter

Brotherhood is for life man, I am an SAE and I can tell you there is nothing else I would rather be even if I was at another college. Phi Alpha and hope you find what your looking for.

knight_shadow 08-29-2009 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1841284)
You need to get an official letter from your national office, which most would not grant. And there are fraternities that actually themselves require that you have never been in a similar organization, or so I have been told.

Why don't you think they wouldn't grant such a letter?

And I know for a fact that there are several organizations that won't take previously initiated people. Someone brought up the NIC bylaws, though, so I clarified.

This should have gotten one of those "it depends on the organization/chapter" answers.

Psi U MC Vito 08-29-2009 10:02 PM

Granted I'm using just my fraternity, but it wouldn't surprise me if this was teh case was with most. Psi Upsilon constitutionally doesn't recognize somebody withdrawing from membership. One your in, your in unless expelled from membership. Writing a letter that so and so is no longer a member of XYZ fraternity would be acknowledging that your sacred oath means nothing.

knight_shadow 08-29-2009 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1841296)
Granted I'm using just my fraternity, but it wouldn't surprise me if this was teh case was with most. Psi Upsilon constitutionally doesn't recognize somebody withdrawing from membership. One your in, your in unless expelled from membership. Writing a letter that so and so is no longer a member of XYZ fraternity would be acknowledging that your sacred oath means nothing.

You should have prefaced your response with that statement :)

I've seen several people drop one NIC organization and join another.

BTW, are you drunk or typing on your cell phone? Your response was a little...off lol

Psi U MC Vito 08-29-2009 10:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1841299)
You should have prefaced your response with that statement :)

I've seen several people drop one NIC organization and join another.

BTW, are you drunk or typing on your cell phone? Your response was a little...off lol

You're right and I should have. And to answer your second question, I have been half asleep all day for some reason.

knight_shadow 08-29-2009 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1841300)
And to answer your second question, I have been half asleep all day for some reason.

OK, good. I would hate to think that GC was losing one of its more lucid posters lol

LatinaAlumna 08-29-2009 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheah (Post 1841260)
I don't understand why it matters if its a completely different school and completely different chapter

Why would one of those fraternities even want you, knowing how little regard you have for vows of brotherhood? :confused:

cheah 08-30-2009 05:32 AM

well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

AlphaFrog 08-30-2009 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheah (Post 1841405)
well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

So, in other words, you don't really want to know what we have to say unless it reinforces you wanting to break your vows to one fraternity so that you can join another fraternity and maybe do the same thing to them? I mean, just so we're clear, here.

If you want rainbows and sunshine, this is not the place...but I know of one.

PM coming in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1......

pshsx1 08-30-2009 09:24 AM

I know the answer is more than likely no, but does the Fraternity you pledged, by chance, have a chapter at your new school?

Kevin 08-30-2009 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1841413)
So, in other words, you don't really want to know what we have to say unless it reinforces you wanting to break your vows to one fraternity so that you can join another fraternity and maybe do the same thing to them? I mean, just so we're clear, here.

If you want rainbows and sunshine, this is not the place...but I know of one.

PM coming in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1......

For such a question, I would think even HPRL would have the correct answer.

LatinaAlumna 08-30-2009 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheah (Post 1841405)
well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

I completely understand the situation. You're selfish and disloyal to your brotherhood, and are more interested in having fun with your buddies from back home. When I was an undergrad, I had plenty of best friends from my hometown, but my SISTERS were on another level. You do not understand what being in a fraternal organization means, and neither do your "buddies" or else they would not be encouraging you to drop your letters.

knight_shadow 08-30-2009 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheah (Post 1841405)
well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

Do you think that you have to stop talking to your buddies just because they wear different letters? I have several friends who joined other organizations. We don't stop hanging out just because our GLOs don't match.

LatinaAlumna gave you a good answer. Take it and keep it moving...

Quote:

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna (Post 1841447)
I completely understand the situation. You're selfish and disloyal to your brotherhood, and are more interested in having fun with your buddies from back home. When I was an undergrad, I had plenty of best friends from my hometown, but my SISTERS were on another level. You do not understand what being in a fraternal organization means, and neither do your "buddies" or else they would not be encouraging you to drop your letters.

Yep.

MysticCat 08-30-2009 09:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1841284)
You need to get an official letter from your national office, which most would not grant.

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1841289)
Why don't you think they wouldn't grant such a letter? . . .

This should have gotten one of those "it depends on the organization/chapter" answers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psi U MC Vito (Post 1841296)
Granted I'm using just my fraternity, but it wouldn't surprise me if this was teh case was with most. Psi Upsilon constitutionally doesn't recognize somebody withdrawing from membership.

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1841299)
You should have prefaced your response with that statement :)

I've seen several people drop one NIC organization and join another.

But do you know that the "several people" whom you've seen drop one NIC fraternity and join another had a letter from the first fraternity stating that they had withdrawn from membership? (And if not, should you maybe have prefaced your response with that statement? ;)) Maybe they were doing it all without any national offices. or maybe even chapters, being any the wiser.

Just based on the responses that have come up when this has been raised before, I suspect Vito's assumption is fairly accurate. And in any event, it doesn't matter here whether most fraternities would or wouldn't release the OP -- it only matters whether SAE would release him.

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog (Post 1841413)
So, in other words, you don't really want to know what we have to say unless it reinforces you wanting to break your vows to one fraternity so that you can join another fraternity and maybe do the same thing to them? I mean, just so we're clear, here.

Yep. We're clear.

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheah (Post 1841405)
well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished . . .

Actually, she and everyone else understands your situation better than you seem to do. You've gotten the only constructive advice you're likely to get -- see if SAE will formally release you in writing (ie, release you from your oath) and then take it from there. But don't expect people here to encourage you to lie or break your oath -- in other words, to gain membership in a new fraternity by demonstrating a complete lack of integrity.

VandalSquirrel 08-30-2009 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheah (Post 1841405)
well latina...you obviously do not understand my situation....these guys in these other fraternities are my best friends from home and I fully plan on continuing trying to get this accomplished so if anyone has anything constructive to say I would really appreciate it

If you're best friends with them, shouldn't your friendship be strong enough to withstand you not doing all the same things together? It withstood you going to a different college, so why not being in a different fraternity? If they are your friends they will invite you to parties and events as a guest, and you can maintain your membership in SAE.

I didn't do anything the same my best friends from back home did, and we're still friends.

knight_shadow 08-31-2009 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 1841621)
But do you know that the "several people" whom you've seen drop one NIC fraternity and join another had a letter from the first fraternity stating that they had withdrawn from membership? (And if not, should you maybe have prefaced your response with that statement? ;)) Maybe they were doing it all without any national offices. or maybe even chapters, being any the wiser.

Just based on the responses that have come up when this has been raised before, I suspect Vito's assumption is fairly accurate. And in any event, it doesn't matter here whether most fraternities would or wouldn't release the OP -- it only matters whether SAE would release him.

I'm not sure that they received letters from I/HQ, but a couple of them repledged at the same (or nearby) universities. People knew about their previous affiliations, so I'm assuming that they followed the rules to the T.

I didn't preface my statement because, unlike Vito, I wasn't making blanket statements about how organizations operate. I was simply clarifying the NIC bylaws and bringing up folks that I've seen do this IRL.

MysticCat 08-31-2009 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1841736)
I'm not sure that they received letters from I/HQ, but a couple of them repledged at the same (or nearby) universities. People knew about their previous affiliations, so I'm assuming that they followed the rules to the T.

I didn't preface my statement because, unlike Vito, I wasn't making blanket statements about how organizations operate. I was simply clarifying the NIC bylaws and bringing up folks that I've seen do this IRL.

And you were assuming that the people you've seen do this in real life were doing it legitimately. I wouldn't assume that the rules were followed to a T and that's the part that might have called for a disclaimer. Just because the chapters involved knew what was going on doesn't mean they told their HQs.

Of the three us, Vito is the one who is a member of an NIC fraternity. Maybe on the question of how likely it is that most NIC fraternities would not provide the needed letter to a member who wants to pledge a different fraternity, we should yield the lane to him. ;)

knight_shadow 08-31-2009 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MysticCat (Post 1841747)
And you were assuming that the people you've seen do this in real life were doing it legitimately. I wouldn't assume that the rules were followed to a T and that's the part that might have called for a disclaimer. Just because the chapters involved knew what was going on doesn't mean they told their HQs.

Of the three us, Vito is the one who is a member of an NIC fraternity. Maybe on the question of how likely it is that most NIC fraternities would not provide the needed letter to a member who wants to pledge a different fraternity, we should yield the lane to him. ;)

FYI -- My organization is NIC as well :)

But I get what you're saying. I think the OP's question has been answered at this point, so there's no need for us to go back and forth.

MysticCat 08-31-2009 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by knight_shadow (Post 1841748)
FYI -- My organization is NIC as well :)

Oops. My bad! That's what I get for not looking at the list and going by memory, ain't it? :o

Oh well, can that be my mistake for the day?


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