Is she pregnant?
 

I was going to just make this a post and not a whole thread, but I'm a little worried. I've seen a lot of great responses to a lot of "question threads" so your help would be appreciated. Remember the chick I was talking about a few months ago? The one I really "thought" I liked? Some of you do. Well, she was costing me too much money, so I felt that we were incompatible. She was fine with that, so I hadn't heard from her until Sunday night. She told me she missed her period. At first she thought she could have been late, but now she says she missed it. I don't know how this works, especially when she "supposedly" was on the pill. She told me she's going to buy one of those pregnancy test today, but I don't know how accurate those things are? If she missed her period, does that necessarily mean she's pregnant? She also says I was the only guy she was having sex with. How accurate are those tests? Help me out here, I'm worried shitless.

I'm also removing my letters from my siggy just in case.

Those tests--even the store brand ones--are pretty accurate. Granted, there can be false positives (I've had one before), but those are usually caused by conditions completely unrelated to pregnancy. Whether or not she's simply late or she missed it entirely is based on how regular she is, but if she's been taking the Pill properly she should be beyond regular. If she's had a stomach virus, food poisoning, or even a particularly nasty hangover this month, however, the Pill could be rendered moot--which is why most doctors recommend using a barrier method as a back-up.

Good luck. Pregnancy scares suck hard.

Usually, pregnancy tests are very accurate if you do them correctly. If it isn't awkward for you to see her, I'd go with her when she takes the test. You don't have to neccessarily watch her do the test, but read the directions together and make sure she does it correctly to yield the most accurate answer. Also, make sure you see the negative or positive result. I work at RiteAid, and a couple who had just broken up came in and bought a pregnancy test because the girl claimed she was pregnant. They went into the bathroom and did it. She ended up not being pregnant. I think she said it only to scare him.

If she is indeed on the pill, the chances of getting pregnant are like, 1 or 2% I believe. It goes down if she takes it religiously (everyday at the same time). It's very rare, but it could happen. What Munchkin03 said is true - if she's on the pill, her periods should be very regular. (ie. When I was on it, mine came every Wednesday between 10am-12pm.) However, do you know if she missed a pill and had to take two? That might mess it up. Also, if she's just started to take the pill, she might not be adjusted to a regular schedule yet.

Calm down, and just make sure she's not lying to you.

Co-sign all of this! I'm currently on the pill, and my cycle is VERY regular. It used to be all over the place before I was on it, mainly because I'm often stressed out, lol, but even now, stress and all, the pill makes it very, very regular.

I have heard of some cases where a woman just flat out skips a period, even on the pill, but I'm not sure how true that is. I've been on it for just about 2 years, and haven't skipped it once.

Take a deep breath. Yes, this is scary, but don't panic yet. Be ready to be supportive and clear-headed.

Pregnancy tests are very reliable. False negatives are FAR more common than false positives, and as another poster said, a false positive can be due to issues unrelated to pregnancy, particularly having to do with hormones and/or medications.

A "missed" period might actually be an extremely late period due to a late ovulation. Anything from illness to travel to stress over a job/family/etc. can cause a woman to ovulate late. The period comes 12-16 days after ovulation, but if the ovulation happened a lot later than usual, a woman's period can be much later than she expected.

Best wishes.

That's exactly what I'm thinking--she might be lying. I don't know how many times I've heard of a female who comes up with a pregnancy scare in order to get the guy who dumped her to start talking to her again. :rolleyes: But it is always best to go for a test to be sure.

Perhaps TMI, but I don't get a period on my pill for months at a time, and the doctor said it is normal. This is on a regular pill (not Seasonale).

I don't know if this is what you're referring to, but many of my friends on the pill make themselves "skip" their period. With birth control, simply put, you have 3 weeks of "colored" pills (blue, green, whatever) and one week of "white" pills. When you take the white pills is the week you get your period. However, my friends will skip over the week of white pills completely and just start taking next month's birth control - causing them not to have a period that month.

So just be sure she's not lying to you!

Well good luck there. Let me just tell you this -- if you do end up having a child with this woman, do not sit on your butt. Make sure to talk to a lawyer to get the right stuff done. If you doubt the kid is yours or think she's not being truthful about the kid being yours, tell your lawyer that.

I've represented both mothers and fathers in paternity cases [as a legal intern and under supervision] involving infants. It is all too typical in my experience for one of the 'parents' to just roll over because they're not ready to become moms or dads (and before you assume I'm talking about deadbeat dads, I've seen my share of deadbeat moms). In my experience, you can really screw your rights regarding your kid up for the next 18 years by stupid inaction right after the kid is born, whether you want custody, visitation, etc. or not.

If it's a money thing, don't worry, if you're about to produce offspring, in many cases, your parents will be secretly thrilled and will be more than willing to help with expenses. In fact, I can't think of but a few select cases where we were representing a young 'oops' parent and grandma/grandpa weren't footing the bill (but that might have something to do with what we charge).

It needs repeating time and time again.

^^ YUPPP.

No offense Xanthus (because I hope everything works out for the best), but I remember you posting that you slept with her a few times before you realized she was "high maintenance". This is just my opinion, but I honestly think this could have been avoided if you would have gotten to know her first, or at least something about her to give you an idea if you two were compatible or not. It's just that based on your posts about her, it seems like you totally did the opposite. You had sex with her first, then you started to get to know her, or you found out something about her that was a total deal breaker for you. Mistakes happen, but I think it really sucks having a kid with someone you don't even want to be with. Like I said earlier, this is just my opinion, and I really hope everything works out for you and her.

Sorry if I sound like the asshole in all of this but I am kinda salty at the "she was supposedly on the pill" part.

You are just as responsible as she is.

And me personally, I don't care how much she is supposed to be on the pill, or got tubes tied, looks clean or whatever,

WRAP IT UP!

You liked her enough to go bareback, you like her enough to be responsible if she is having your child.

Yep, I agree.

eta: and no you're not being an asshole.:p

I now know way more about Xanthus than I should about a username. Overshare.

No, that's not what I was refering to, although I have heard of women doing this as well! What I had read was something about skipping a period while using BC regularly...but I read it a while ago, and I can't remember where I read it, so I might be missing something or misquoting or something... :o

I chose to ignore that part, since I can't imagine that someone, who ostensibly grew up in the age of AIDS, would have barrier-free sex outside of a committed relationship. I just figured that the condom-wearing was a given, and he was asking that even if something got through, if the Pill would be good protection.

... YDI?

kinda insensitive, but i get REALLY PISSED when i hear about people getting "accidentally" pregnant. i know stuff happens, but they are GIVING away condoms all over the place (and if you really need BC for cheap/free, it can be gotten). there is very little excuse to get pregnant unexpectedly.

i just find it really careless. it doesnt take much to make a child - tab A into slot B. she's a fool for not taking BC correctly (and if she slipped up somewhere, yall shouldve laid low in tEh sex0ring department for a minute)) and you for hittin it raw.*

*i missed the part where OP mentions this: are we assuming it or did he say so and i skipped it?

Nope, I wouldn't be surprised. I just got home from visiting a little "oops" buddy of mine in the NICU. The difference? Things happen in a committed relationship. After a while, some couples forego barriers. That's understandable.

What I'm talking about is casual sex, or commitment-free sex, without a condom. I'm sure it happens, but in a case like that, pregnancy should be the least of your concerns.

It also bears repeating -
 

NO BIRTH CONTROL METHOD IS 100% EFFECTIVE. It is possible to get pregnant while on the pill, or any other birth control.

If you can't discuss how you would handle an accidental pregnancy with your partner how in the world are you going to handle the conversation when you/she turns up in "an interesting condition"?

well, other than the (harsh but true) advice given here, it should go without saying that if she is indeed pregnant and decides to keep it, you should get a paternity test.

and PLEASE, learn from your mistakes. that's the one thing you can control.

If she is pregnant I hope she does keep it. Either that or give it up for adoption. I hate it when people use abortion as a form of birth control.

Having an abortion because you were on the pill and it didn't work (somebody has to be that 56/100%) is NOT using abortion as a form of birth control.

so do i.

maybe so, but i still cringe @ the thought of abortion in that situation. but, i also realize that the available choices in an unexpected pregnancy all have very difficult cons, even adoption.

Sometimes people use protection, it fails, and have an abortion because they have other health conditions or are taking medications that would affect the fetus or their health. I'm taking three medications at the moment that are not healthy for a fetus or during breastfeeding, and I told a man in my life that until I'm off those medications I am not interested in a physical relationship as I am not okay with getting pregnant and being faced with a) an abortion b) going off my medication and having poor health while pregnant c) taking the chance there aren't birth defects d) having a miscarriage if I chose to continue a pregnancy that didn't start out healthy. Not all women who take medications that are unsafe for fetuses will make the same choice I do, but sometimes things happen and just be glad it isn't happening to you.

the health of a mother and/or fetus can change everything.

(now we're totally off topic :o)

I hope it turns out the way you want. As far as accuracy of pregnancy tests, even the dollar store tests are accurate...sometimes they are more accurate than the more expensive tests

I drilled into my now 19 year old stepson:
Of course, that damn near gave my late MIL a heart attack but she got over it

If it's not a rape or a health issue then YES it is a form of birth control. I don't care if it's with or without a condom, pill or no pill, having sex equals the possibility of pregnancy. They can take those stats and shove them where the sun doesn't shine. If you REALLY don't want any kids, then STOP HAVING SEX. Period. I don't want to judge anyone, because I don't know everyones situation. I also can't say I'm following my own advice because I enjoy having sex, but at the same time if I were to end up pregnant I wouldn't get an abortion. It's wrong and it is a form of birth control.

If I have health issues, then I'm not having sex. Dry hump or something.

That's good you told him you didn't want a relationship. A lot of people aren't like you so they wouldn't care. The joy of having sex is more important to them.

So, is she or isn't she? Or was this all just a sad, pathetic cry for attention on her part?

:rolleyes: Thank goodness your opinion only guides YOUR vagina and YOUR womb.

Thank goodness women have the choice of not being stuck with a pregnancy despite taking the necessary precautions. In fact, it's still their business and their choice even if they were careless and stupid.

I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with CG (partially) on this, but I think that the situation (strictly as 33girl described it, without any mitigating health factors) is using abortion as a form of birth control.

That said, I also agree with you that I think the choice is properly left with the woman/potential mother.

For most responsible people, it goes without saying that abortion should not be used as birth control. CG isn't just speaking on that extreme and the choices of the careless, though. She feels that even the most responsible approach to sex precludes abortion simply because having consensual sex means even the smallest possibility of pregnancy.

That is ridiculous.

Yep.

I'll agree on that - it's a pretty unrealistic view on the whole topic.

lol, i tried to re route, since it was my comment on getting a paternity test that sparked it all. :)

The OP opened the door for all of these side topics. This is a dumb thread, anyway. He could have found out whether she is really pregnant and figured out the next step without creating this thread.