Serious Preference Help Needed
 

I am currently in the process of arranging the preference ceremony for formal fall recruitment for my chapter, and I am having a lot of problems making it personal. Our chapter (Alpha Gamma Delta) has always used typical preference ceremonies that basically just tell potential new members what our values are, what we get out of the experience, and how new members are valuable, but I don't think our preference either helps us get women or loses us women. It's just kind of...blah.

I have heard of chapters doing things like writing letters to rush crushes, etc., but I don't really know how it works. Can anyone expand on this idea or give me ideas to make our preference more unique and memorable for new women? I would greatly appreciate it. :)

I go to a small liberal arts school, where some pref parties are as small as 10-15 PNMs. Pi Phi always has a great party, where they write letters and read them out loud, one about every girl at the party and what the chapter admires about her. Who wouldn't like hearing someone read them a letter of compliments? What a good strategy.

I graduated eons ago, but we followed the Alpha Gam ceremony and wrote letters. We took the PNMs to our rooms (our roommates had PNMs too, so no hot-boxing) and had them read a letter that we wrote to them. They were not allowed to take it with them but gave it to them on bid day.

The letters must have worked; I never lost a PNM from Pref to another chapter.

From my "all-knowing-PNM" point of view (;)) that sounds really great. As a PNM, I would love to experience something like that.

Also .. I have a question. I've heard the term "hot-boxing" used on here before, but I'm still unclear as to what that is?

If this isn't giving too much away, do you have a specific AGD ceremony you must use? Also your problem might be in the delivery. If your president is supposed to read something but she sounds like Ben Stein in Ferris Bueller, consider having another sister read her part.

We alternate who spoke just for that reason. I never thought it was boring because we did have a sister sing, "The Rose" and was accompanied by a sister who was an excellent pianist.

Since prefs were typically large, one group took PNMs to the rooms for the letters while another group ate dessert. Then each group switched. This took up about 2/3 of the time. The rest of the time was the ceremony.

Ahh, thanks for clearing that up KSUViolet.

And I'm seriously laughing so hard @ 33girl's Ben Stein comment.

Anyone...anyone...

To the OP - please be sure and check the Panhellenic rules as on some campuses you're not allowed to give (or I think maybe even make and read) letters to PNMs.

I don't know what your pref ceremony is like, but do you have people give testimonials or tell stories about their time in AGD? That might help make it more personal.

Thanks so much for all the suggestions about reading the letters and then putting them in gift bags on Bid Day, etc. That's exactly the kind of personalization I was looking for. :)

Also, because some people asked, we do not have a specific preference ceremony we have to follow. Usually we find stuff on our organization website and look at past preferences and come up with one unique to that year. And we do include personal testimonies. I don't think our pref is bad, I just think it needs to be more special for PNMs, and having our members say something nice about them in front of everyone sounds like a really great way to help with that.

Just another thought. Have your read the three pref ceremonies on Alpha Gam website in the Member Section? I really like the one that Omega does.

We do a lot of storytellling. It is really beautiful!!!

We don't do letters on our pref night. One thing that I've heard about the letters to be wary of- sometimes, there's a PNM that the active's haven't gotten to know well, due to the amount of girls going through the recruitment process. If one of these girls ends up at your pref and you don't know her that well, it could be a turn-off if her letter is too generic. Some girls have ranked the non-letter writing sororities higher because their letter was "impersonal". I think letters are beautiful- I know I would love it but the letter has to be sincere and specific!

Just thought I'd pass that along. :)

I had my eye on that one. It's very pretty.

** Let me qualify by saying my Chapter does not write letters so my knowledge is strictly from conversations with others that do.**

I've heard mixed results about using letters with far more positives than negatives though. I've heard some Chapters and former PNMs say a personalized letter is an amazing yet simple way to truly touch a PNM's heart. Their Recruitment results proved this must have been true.

However be careful, especially when dealing with a campus that has a very large pool of PNMs. There may be PNMs who make it to Pref that never quite created a meaningful bond with any one active. (It can and does happen when dealing with recruitments of well over 1,000 PNMs.) So some ended up with a form letter feel, almost like "insert PNM name here". That defeats the whole purpose.

Also keep in mind, some people (actives) simply aren't comfortable writing these sorts letters even to PNMs they did connect with. Maybe writing about feelings is just not their thing?

It doesn't matter the cause as the end result is the same. Seemingly insincere letters can turn a PNM off of a Chapter. This is especially true once they leave and start sharing and comparing. (Yes, we all know PNMs are not supposed to talk after leaving Pref and before signing Bid Cards, but let's be honest many still do.)

Do you guys perform your preference from memory or read it from cards? I only ask this because we started doing it from memory when I was an active and it came off more heartfelt and personal that way. Idk whether my chapter is still doing it that way though.

Of course, if recruitment is next week that's not a possibility, but maybe something to think about in the future.

Depending on how large the pref party is, reading letters out loud could get dull. I have seen the letters incorporated into the one on one time between active and pnm. Active takes pnm into room, they talk for a while (time to get serious!) and then she says something like, " I am going to step away for a minute but while I'm gone, I want you to read this." It is a letter from a different active (most likely her "special person") who voila shows up in front of her after she is through reading the letter. This sets up the all important "closing of the deal." Very effective. The letter does not leave the house but is put in the Bid Day bag.

Also, taking a picture is another good pref night activity. As pnms enter the house, they are handed your GLO flower. Hire a professional and set up your entrance "route" so that there is a quick stop for a photo between active and pnm on their way to sit down. This is just another way to let the pnm feel special. Pics can be ordered at a later date.

Last but not least, I agree with those who are pointing out that the delivery of the pref ceremony/speech can be crucial. The speaker needs to be relaxed, and really connecting with pnms - not reciting the Declaration of Independence. This sort of thing takes practice, practice, practice.

The letter reading would cause me to be uncomfortable, and I agree that if you are having to listen to everyone else's letter it will get quite boring. Our pref nights / pledge classes were so huge this wasn't an option, but one of the houses I attended on pref night did something similarly personal to the letters. I was just uncomfortable, possibly because I knew that my heart wasn't at house XYZ and that I wasn't going to rank them first. Looking back, I think I probably made it somewhat akward for the active rushing me!

I graduated a long time ago, but my chapter used letters, and I think they were effective. I think our letters generally worked for several reasons. First, we didn’t start the night off with the letters. We did a meal first, so it gave the PNMs time to get comfortable before they received the letter. Second, we avoided the bore factor by taking the PNMs to our rooms to present the letters so they didn’t have to sit and listen to everyone else’s letters. (We were careful to avoid hot-boxing.) Third, we tried to make sure the letters did not read like form letters and were not too cheesey. Fourth, to the best of my recollection, the person preferencing the PNM did not write a letter. Instead, she talked to the PNM. The letters, instead, came from the actives who met the PNM throughout the week but did not pref the PNM- it was a way for them to make sure the PNM knew they liked her, even if they weren’t preferencing her. I just think it would be uncomfortable and cheesy for a PNM to sit there, in front of the active who is preferencing her, and read a letter from her. Finally, we ended with a group ceremony, so if the letter thing was a miss for some of the PNMs, then at least we weren’t ending on that note.

We memorized everything, right down to initiation. I don't think anyone does that anymore.

We made a push while I was a collegian to do things from memory - new member ceremonies, initiation, preference - I'm really not sure if they do it now but it was nice while it lasted - people actually understood what things meant!

My chapter always did little notebooks (black and gold since its Theta) and several different sisters write short notes to the pnm, either saying how great they are and how they think they would fit in with us or even just saying what Theta means to them. Then at pref they got to read their books but had to hand them back when they left but we gave them back to the girls who joined on bid day.