New School, New Sorority?
 

I have a question for anyone that can answer it. (Bear with me, the story is a bit long but I promise it'll make sense.)

I rushed and was initiated into a sorority (which shall not be named) at the college I used to attend. I was active for two semesters and then I got really sick, (we're talking chemotherapy and radiation treatments sick) and I was forced to withdrawal from my school and return home. During this, I withdrew from school and tried my best to make the transition as painless as possible, however with the chapter that I had joined, I was having troubles getting the information I needed as far as medical leave, becoming inactive, etc. (I wasn't sure if I would ever end up back at that school). In any case, I've gotten better, but during my treatments I was ...short on medical insurance so I was left with a hefty bill from my doctors and that made it difficult to pay for my obligations with my chapter.

I am planning on attending the university in my home town, and I called up the girls from my old chapter and spoke with some of our advisers to see if I would be eligible to join the chapter at my new university. However, I was told that they had processed paperwork to deactivate me(?) and that I was no longer a sister of that sorority. Aside from being blindsided with this information, I didn't even know they could do that without me at least knowing about it. Especially since I was in the middle of treatment.

So, my question is: Since they had apparently "kicked me out", or whatever am I forever ineligible to be initiated in to that sorority, or any other for that matter? I miss the sisterhood, I miss being a part of something so much bigger than myself. And I am desperately wanting to be a part of something like that again, if I can find a place that I am welcome and a place that I can call home again. Does anyone have any ideas on this situation?

First
You say you have been initiated into a sorority. Assuming it is an NPC sorority, you are not going to be eligible for any other.

Second
I do not know the details regarding your "deactivation", but I think, judging from what you have told us regarding your illness, a call to your national headquarters to get clarification regarding your options would be in order. In this instance, you should get the most definitive answer going this route.



Good luck with your health issues. I hope you are doing better.

Talk to your nationals. Each sorority differs with their "kicked me out" process.

nicci8702,

I'm so glad that you are getting better! It sounds like you are a very strong, amazing young woman.

My advice is to get in contact with the international (or national, depending on the organization) headquarters. Make your case and explain what happened. Stay in contact with the old chapter and ask for copies of EVERYTHING. Ask for copies of records from International, too.

Different organizations work differently, so I can't really tell you what the path will look like. My best advice is to stay persistent, but be respectful about it.

I really appreciate your responses. I might add, that any financial obligations that I did have, have been met and paid, in full.

I certainly hope something can be done, because the situation wasn't one where I was simply refusing to do anything or one where I didn't care. It really really was out of my control. And thank you for the warm wishes on getting better. I'm working on it. :)

Please keep us up-to-date on the what happens!

Good luck!

I will most definitely do so. :)

If you withdrew from school, you should have had alumna status. :confused:You may have been "kicked out" due to unpaid bills at the time.
Definitely contact your national/international office on this.
Much good luck to you!:o

Yeah, they never mentioned alumna status to me. Again, I hope I can be reinstated, at this new school, because it was a financial issue and it wasn't a moral issue at all.

good luck!

WHAAAAT????? :eek:

What kind of sorority deactivates a sister who is undergoing such a serious illness? My gosh, if this happened to me, I know my sisters would not only be visiting me everyday, but would be out there fundraising to help me pay the medical bills. Deactivating me or putting me on "alumna" status would be the LAST thing they would do, and I am 100% sure about this. I'm sorry, ladies, but I just don't get NPC sororities sometimes.

To the original poster, I am very glad to hear that you are better and are going back to school.

My org has similar policies. I would think that any member who withdrew from school would automatically be granted early alumna status, and you could be reinstated at your new school, possibly if you pay off your debt to your old chapter?

However, if the bills piled up BEFORE you withdrew from school, like more than a semester of being in school and not paying dues, as opposed to being paid up when you withdrew from school, I could see why your chapter would have financially expelled you.

Did your chapter President and/or VP Finance make attempts to contact you or your family about the situation? Were you confronted about your unpaid bills and warned about financial expulsion? ( I understand that you and your family definitely had other, more important things on your mind, but I think it's very strange that they wouldn't have known your situation or tried to warn you.) I would think your badge and membership certificate would have to be collected to complete your expulsion too.

BOTTOM LINE: Each NPC has different policies, so you'll need to check your org's policies and figure out what happened and figure out if you are eligible to join your sorority's chapter at your new school.

As others have pointed out, you may not join another NPC, no matter what.

Let's not make this a "NPC vs non-NPC" battle. I have a feeling there is something she is not telling us. Alumna status would be the standard procedure in my org when someone withdraws from school for any reason, with the option of being reinstated when you re-enroll in school or transfer.

As said above, don't turn this into an NPC thing. Should we generalize all sororities like yours because of some hazing incident one did?

Also, did the sisters even know about the illness? She hasn't said that she ever even told them. If someone just drops off the face of the earth and doesn't tell anyone, yes, they're going to get disaffiliated.

It is also strongly possible that it is just a mix up of terminology. If she was truly "kicked out", there's a lot of paperwork that goes along with that and the sister isn't exactly in the dark about the process.

I agree about not making this an NPC issue. A close friend of mine was in an EXTREMELY similar situation of the OP. She pledged an NPC sorority the fall of our first semester at school, was initiated, and didn't come back the second semester of our freshmen year because of cancer. During her time away, her sorority did fundraisers for her and I believe there was even a blurb about her in her organizations magazine. She recieved dozens of letters and cards from chapters, actives, and alumni from ALL over the country, just to let her know shes in their thoughts and prayers. I was truly in awe by the support that this organization showed for my friend through her tough times, and honestly, seeing that made me want to join a sorority too (since I had no joined yet at that time).

As someone mentioned before, we don't know all the details, therefore I think it's totally unfair to judge the organization and accuse the members of basically abadoning her. It has nothing to do with the fact that it's an NPC chapter.

ETA: Sorry, I don't like to continue discussions, especially like this these^^, that stray away from the main topic. But I was just VERY upset by that, especially since I saw just how wonderful my friend's NPC organization was to her in her time of need.

Granted I am making assumptions here. I bet whoever you spoke to had no idea what the I/nat'l policies were. I also suspect all the info regarding your situation was either not understood or not passed along to the appropriate people (rest of Exec, Advisors, and/or I/natl officers). If that was the case, then your cancellation could have been processed inaccurately due to ignorance of the facts. It may have been an honest mistake and misunderstanding.

I believe you have grounds for an appeal. I suggest you write a letter explaining everything, including the fact that you never received a cancellation notice. Include a copy of the paperwork from the University showing the date you withdrew from school. Also include a financial statement showing that all your outstanding debts have been paid. Send it to your Grand Council (or whatever your org calls the governing body), then CC your Chapter President, Chapter Advisor, and any regional I/natl officers that oversee that Chapter.

Even if that was not the case and I am way off base with my assumptions, some orgs have a process to overturn a cancellation for financial reasons. Those groups who offer this understand that sometimes financial difficulties cannot be avoided. Later once circumstances change and debts can be repaid, plus a "processing fee", a membership can be reinstated. Obviously this would have to be investigated with the org to see if is is even possible.

I'm guessing (or should I say hoping) this is a huge chapter where everyone doesn't necessarily know everyone and they had no clue she was sick. Like kddani said, if you just disappear, you're going to get terminated.

We had a really similar situation with our chapter, and even though were were pretty small at the time (~45 sisters) the sister kept us completely in the dark. She rushed, was initiated, and then completely disappeared when the semester ended. Someone saw her moving out, and she just said she was moving back home, across the country. After that she completely went dark - she wouldn't respond to any kind of contact, even by her Big. We were really worried about her, but there was nothing we could do. She did contact us about a year later to say she was ok, but to this day no one knows what happened, why she left or if she's ever coming back. We really miss her! She was a great sister. I don't know what ever happened in terms of her status with the fraternity - I'm not sure if she could be given alumna status because she was only active as an initiated sister for a few weeks, and then she was gone. Like the OP's situation, it's probably very convoluted.

I guess my point is, don't blame the sorority - they could be completely in the dark as to what happened or unable to contact her. If we had known our sister was in trouble and needed our help, we would have done everything we could. But it's understandable that someone with serious health or family problems might not feel comfortable sharing that information, even with her sisters.

Ok, what I should have said was "I don't get how NPC sororities tell someone they are no longer a sister if they fail to meet financial obligations"...am I allowed to say that?? I don't understand how that fits in with the concept of sisterhood. We have sisters who have not paid dues in a long time. They are still sisters although they are not permitted to participate in particular activities.

Also, no one said anything about NPC vs. Non-NPC. I spoke of what MY sorority ONLY would do, not ALL non-NPC organizations, but I guess some of you did not process that.

What works for your org, might not work for all orgs whether they are NPC/IFC/NPHC/MCGLOs, or whatever.

Chapters participate and put on activities that cost money to do and the chapter gets just about all of it's operating assets through the use of dues. When you join most (if not all) NPCs there are very well-known costs and the members promise to uphold their financial obligations in order to remain in good standing.

Each sorority also has different protocols as to how to work with members who can no longer pay dues for various reasons (lost jobs, illnesses, etc). Those are defined by each organization and are all unique.

I don't feel that tone was necessary. In your original post, you pretty much made a broad generalization that NPCs stop caring about it's members when they are unable to pay their dues.

This is a message board. The OP has only given us some and not all the details on her situation, so without knowing the full story on all sides (see posts above on how maybe the chapter was unaware of what was going on) it's not right for you to make a generalization like that based on a couple of posts that all of a sudden the OP was kicked to the curb without being told and all NPCs were big bad organizations.

That statement " I'm sorry, ladies, but I just don't get NPC sororities sometimes." is what triggered the "Let's not make this a NPC vs. Non-NPC statement. If that's not what you meant fine, maybe it would have been prevented if your point was articulated in a way that didn't sound like an attack on NPC sororities.

< and now back to the topic presented by the OP >

If a woman would have posted something like: "I just don't GET Latina sororities sometimes!" I would have thought: "Hmmm, well, she's not a part of it, so of course she doesn't, and she doesn't need to understand" and moved on. But that's just me. :)

Do you mean alumnae or collegians? We are talking about collegians. I don't know how any collegiate chapter of any sorority could function with such a laissez-faire attitude where dues are concerned. I mean, if Sue and Jane don't pay dues, why should anyone else?

It wasn't just the one line... it was the context of it. You went on for a couple of sentences implying that that this sorority must be so awful for deactivating or putting on alumna status because of the circumstances and then ended it with "I don't get NPC sororities sometimes" which further implies that all NPC sororities care about is money and just go around deactivating members for no good reason without telling them and that there are not NPC chapters who care about their members enough to visit/send cards/fund raise for sick sisters when clearly there have been examples of such.

I know enough about GLOs to know that not all of them are the same and not all of the umbrella organizations operate the same either and therefore wouldn't need to throw out a "I just don't GET < insert whatever type of GLO here >" statement. I may not understand how or why they operate, but I do know whatever they do works for them, so I will just leave them be and not question it

My take on it: Some sister she is if she is failing to live up to her obligations by helping support the sisterhood financially and is instead letting the rest of the sisterhood take up the slack. Of course, as pretty much everyone here has said, if it's something like illness and the chapter knew what was going on, then surely a chapter should support and help her. But a sister (or brother) who just persistently fails to love up to obligations without a reasonable excuse? It seems to me that they're the ones who've given up on sisterhood (brotherhood). A chapter's expulsion is just making official what the "sister" has already in effect done.

You said:

Quote:

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna (Post 1818847) WHAAAAT????? :eek: What kind of sorority deactivates a sister who is undergoing such a serious illness? . . . . I'm sorry, ladies, but I just don't get NPC sororities sometimes.

The "I'm sorry" pretty much equals "No offense, but . . . ." Surely you're not surprised that NPCers "processed" what you wrote exactly the way you wrote it. It sure looks like you meant it the way everyone seems to have understood it.

I've stated what happened very clear, there are no details missing. No one contacted me in regards to my expulsion, and no one has asked for my pin or my certificate back. I did not owe any dues from that semester at all. I owed for housing, but that was paid up BEFORE they mentioned to me my expulsion.

I've not even seen any paperwork. They made the decision after I had withdrew from the school.

Also, they were made insanely clear of my medical condition months before I withdrew from school. I did not just "drop off the face of the earth". They knew EXACTLY where I was going and why I was leaving.

My chapter was a smaller one, at a small school. We all knew eachother personally. And, again-I saw to it that EVERYONE (including a few new alumnae) KNEW what was going on.

I keep posting, sorry ladies. :) I miss my sisters terribly. And I most certainly did not abandon them, nor do I blame them for whatever misunderstanding has taken place. I love them with all of my heart, and I would give my heart and soul to be a part of what I once was. My sisters are truly amazing women and I just hope that this can be cleared up with EVERYONE so I know what is going on, so they know what is going, so we can put this behind us and move on.

Bottom line: I miss my sisterhood. It was where I belonged. I wouldn't ever abandon my sisters, in ANY scenario. And I am thankful to have met and shared so much with them. I pray that I can continue to do so in the future.

So I take it my read on your situation was correct. I'm sorry that this happened to you. I suppose you are not able to join another sorority, but perhaps there are other women's groups that you can take part in at your new school. Not the same, but you might enjoy participating in something new.

Everyone? Really?

Kudos to you!! ;)

I agree with you KSUViolet, completely.

Yes, everyone. In case you didn't read her entire post carefully, note the part I bolded above and read again what came before it:
So I stand by my "everyone." :rolleyes:

nicci8702 -

You need to get in touch with HQ today and begin this process. You have gotten some wonderful, detailed info (see Zillini's post) regarding some steps you can take. This will involve more than a simple call to explain the circumstances, but I am sure you are up for the task.

We can tell you loved being in your sorority and want to continue that experience in whatever way possible.

I hope everyone will wish nicci8702 well and then sit back to wait on her progress reports....

Indeed! Best of luck!!

I will keep everyone posted on what happens. Thanks for your support ladies!

nicci -

It sounds like what might have happened was that there was a disconnect between the officers at your chapter and the advisors, since it is the advisors who told you that you had been terminated. The chapter officers might have just checked the wrong box when sending your paperwork, or something. Are your advisors actually at your campus or are they elsewhere?

If your chapter sisters wanted you out, they would have asked for your stuff back. It doesn't seem like this is the case - just incorrect reporting.

Are you sure you were completely terminated as a member or were placed on involuntary inactivity? Those are two completely different things.

I would take the advice of others who have posted here and contact your membership person at the HQ of this sorority. She should be able to clarify any terminology mix up and your actual standing as a member. She may also be able to get you reinstated as a member if it is determined a mix up has occurred.

Make sure you have documentation to present to HQ regarding your medical condition/making the chapter aware, any emails/paperwork between you and the chapter, and official school withdrawal papers. Not having those items available to present to HQ may make you and your claim less credible. Also familiarize yourself with your organizations bylaws both national and local regarding membership. This can also help make your case to HQ.

Nicci, I don't have any further advice to give- you have already gotten some excellent feedback- but I wanted to wish you well in your continued recovery and on your quest to hopefully re-activate with your sisterhood. Good luck!