How much is appearance weighed during rush?
 

Hi. I'm currently a sophomore and plan to rush in the fall. I was just wondering how much appearance is weighed when it comes to rushing, in your sorority or in general? That is, weight-wise. I know that appearance isn't everything and personality carries a long way too, but I'm a bit nervous about the pictures I see of sororities on my college campus, through the Greek website at my school. My body type doesn't seem to fit in with the majority of the girls in sororities! I'll admit that out of everything there is to worry about rush that this is what I worry most about (and it's quite silly), but I've learned that first impressions are made on appearance alone in the first 7 seconds of meeting and we girls alone are very judging by nature. I know that there's a lot more to it, like how you carry yourself and confidence, but it's just so nerve-wracking. I especially freak out when I see pictures of girls in bikinis at some event... I've never worn a bikini in my life.

On an off-note, so maybe my question can be answered better, I'm a bigger girl. I weigh 170 at 5'9" and have been losing weight since January (successfully have lost 23 pounds, for health reasons). I'm still working out now and plan to continue to lose some weight throughout the rest of summer (hopefully 10 - 15 more pounds). Any help would be appereciated!

Nobody on here can tell you how sororities choose their members, that is private information, however, a sorority choosing based solely on appearance and weight issues seems highly unlikely. Unless you roll up to recruitment in stained overalls, knotty hair, dirty white flip flops and no makeup on..that is a different story lol. I think sororities are more concerned with how put together a woman is..not her weight b/c trust me I would rather take a girl that weighs 200lbs with an awesome personality that dresses cute and stylish over a skinny stuck up beeyotch..but that's just me :)

Oh and P.S...I would'nt consider 170 for a girl who's 5'9" bigger...just so you know :) I would worry so much...be confident!!! Good luck

First, different chapters have different membership selection procedures. Second, the importance of weight may vary among the individual members of a chapter. Third, membership selection is private, so no one can say for sure.

Like others have said, make sure you look polished during recruitment, neatly styled hair, flattering clothing, etc. When you look your best, you'll feel more confident and your personality will shine.

I disagree.

I'm not saying, "lose weight because sororities don't like fatties," I mean it more in that if it takes losing that extra 10-15 pounds this summer for the OP to be that much more confident in her own skin and less self-conscious, then that's what it takes. Sometimes a few extra pounds lost can really make the difference between a confident young woman who carries herself gracefully and a wallflower. If she's self-conscious about her weight, it will show.

This could apply to things other than weight, too.

If you (or any woman) commits to taking care of her health it pays off in the long run. Learning about nutrition, portion sizes, and how to handle situations where you don't prepare food is a good life lesson, and for many it will result in natural healthy weight loss and increased health. Pair that with drinking water, vitamins, and some physical activity daily (even walking counts if done long or fast enough), there are benefits with skin and hair for those who are at a weight or size that is healthy for them.

Also when this goes for women of all ages, DO NOT BE A SLAVE TO NUMBERS ON CLOTHING! You will make yourself crazy and it is pointless to wear something ill fitting or unattractive because one mostly wears one size and this garment is different. Even more so for shoes. It is beneficial to have good undergarments, shoes that actually fit (no one can tell if that shoe is a 7 or 10), and if something needs to be taken in, up, down or what not, see a tailor.

agreed! as long as you're losing healthily, of course. unhealthy methods will take their toll on your appearance in other ways.

Exactly what I was going to add - don't starve yourself or work out 10 hours a day or take laxatives. These things tend not to have a good effect on your personality and if you're crabby because you haven't seen a sandwich for 3 weeks, it won't matter if you lost the last 15 pounds.

Make sure you dress for your body type - don't try to dress like the 5'1" girls who are 95 lbs soaking wet. Even when you do lose all the weight you want to, there are some "young" styles (particularly nowadays) that are not becoming at all for taller women - no matter HOW thin they are - and should be avoided. (Been there done that, I'm 5'8".)

No matter what your size--LOOK POLISHED AND PUT TOGETHER!
Looking tore up from the floor up ain't gonna cut it...period!

Good job losing 23 lbs so far! From a medical perspective, 170# for a 5'9" woman is nearly a normal weight. Make sure you have a reasonable goal for your weight loss and keep up the good work! I hope you find a group of sisters who will accept you for you no matter what your weight might be.

totally agreed with the above posters.

I think the best thing you can do for any woman going through rush - is to be as polished as you can and be confident :)

You're going to be rushing as a Junior. At many schools that's going to be a much bigger issue to overcome.

Serious note: All stated above are true and I would follow that advice. :)

Funny side note: A close guy friend of mine said he likes 'bigger chicks' because the 'bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'. ;) So, just stay healthy and don't worry about your weight.

This is SO true. Every company's sizes are different. Heck, I have tried on what i thought were two pairs of the same pants in the same size and both fit differently! In pants, for example, I have anything between a 6 and a 12. It just depends on the style, company, fit, design, etc. (It's annoying as heck, because I can't buy anything without trying it on...)

I agree as well. When you're going though recruitment, if you're not a size 2 don't dress like a size 2, if your not a size 16, don't dress like a size 16. Often times it's not the SIZE of the clothes, it's whether or not the size you're actually wearing FITS you! For example, if you are a bit bustier than the average college girl, then please do not wear a tight top that shows off cleavage, we are girls, it's not what we're looking at. If your jeans give you an extra curve, that's not flattering either.

Personally, I want to see a girl who looks comfortable in her her own skin. If you do, and i hope you do, then you will be much more inviting and more girls will think "i want to talk to her."

Recruitment is all about being yourself, and because the first thing we know about you is how you look, (because we haven't talked to you yet) we want you express yourself though what you wear, don't wear something that isn't you.

This. So important.

Also, I think that you have to brace yourself that at many schools, especially the larger universities with more competitive recruitment, there will be a couple chapters who are only interested in taking women that fit within a certain image unless they have other connections (legacy, friends in the chapter, etc.) that can outweigh the image component. I'm not saying that a chapter will only take 5'9" blondes with D-cups and a size 0, but some chapters will have a very strict image they are going for (whether it is intentional or unintentional varies from chapter to chapter). If a woman is plainer looking I think they can reach that image with incredibly well put together designer clothes, but still...

I think it is important to note that chapters do care about grades, letters of rec, extracurriculars, etc. but if a girl comes in who looks like Megan Fox or Scarlett Johansson, and she has an outstanding personality, some chapters will overlook any mediocre aspects of her application. As a recent college graduate you do see some sisters who simply do not care about grades or achievements, but want attractive women with extroverted, confident and fun personalities. This is especially true at schools where the admissions standards are high enough that every freshman had a 4.0 and lots of extracurriculars in high school. So I think it is less "shunning the less attractive girls" and more "putting extra effort to get the attractive girls"...same outcome perhaps but less ill intentioned.

That being said, there is no campus where you won't have a ton of options that are interested in taking women of whatever shape as long as they are dressed appropriately and do the best with what you have. And honestly, personality is more important than looks...we released women who were solid 10s but had boring conversation, were shy, were obnoxious, etc.

But do try to figure out if the chapters at your school are interested in taking juniors at all, because that could be a HUGE detriment.

When someone says "currently a sophomore" in June, it could mean rising sophomore or just completed sophomore year. She kinda left that ambiguous. I read it as rising sophomore since she didn't use the word junior at all.

In my opinion, don't worry about things like that and don't change yourself in any way. The right sorority for you will be the one that likes you the way you are.

But I do agree that showering and regular personal hygiene is important. But it's important for life and health, not just for joining a sorority.

Eh, I don't know about this. I'm constantly trying to improve myself, and in a way, that is an attempt at changing myself. I believe that the very foundation of sororities has been to cultivate and elevate the kind of women who are in the chapter, and make them better people for being involved.

There's a difference between pretending to be something that you're not and cultivating habits that make you a better person: how you feel about it. If you act a certain way and find that you have more confidence and are more organized or whatever, then that's a facet of your personality that you should cultivate. Obviously if you feel uncomfortable or phoney, then don't do the activities that make you feel that way.

Diet Coke - kudos to you for losing 23 pounds! I hope that this is a journey that has given you more energy, and has made you more confident and healthy.

Should looking polished include wearing designer label clothes or just clothes that truely look the best on you? I don't wanna wear head-to-toe labels and look like I'm trying to hard or some uppity rich girl.

Wear whatever looks best. I'd rather see a $25 dress that fits than a $2500 one that doesn't--and that goes for church, work, recruitment, anything. Think pieces that fit you well, that are clean and pressed, that are in good condition, and that make you feel good. It's the same as what everyone else has said, really.

How is anyone going to know if they are designer unless you wear them inside out?

Agreed! I understand there are sororities out there that care, but they really are the minority. Young woman need to understand, these questions are nothing to worry about. If you are worried about designer labels, and not being rich enough, why would you even want to join a sorority who DOES care???

People who wear designer typically recognize it.

Honestly, when I rushed (a long time ago!), there were 12 houses and I remember noticing that one was all clad in head to to designer clothing on the first day of rush. I remember because it scared me! Just wear what you normally wear and be comfortable as your own self. Now, if you typically wear head to to designer, I'd tone it down....don't wear several logos (I'd personally opt for no logos, unless TB shoes). Go for an understated, classy look.

If you don't typically wear designer clothes, that is OK! Some girls in my house did, and some girls never did. I cannot remember it ever making a difference. It's much more important to be yourself and wear clothes that fit and bring out your best!

Tuberculosis shoes?

Also, I personally think designer clothes are kind of a joke at this point since you can get them 1/2 price on ebay. Wear what you like and what fits you and your style. If that happens to be a Chanel jacket, that's fine, but don't make a big deal out of it.

a good tip to looking expensive without spending a ton of cash is to mix pricier items with more affordable ones. also-- if you're going to wear clothing, make sure it's not overpriced, badly made garbage.

Tori Burch?

I think that overall, chapters are looking for someone that they feel will be a good fit with their chapter, and someone that brings something to the table. I remember cutting many a pretty face because that's all that she was. As others have said, just put your best foot forward in terms of your styling, be confident and let your true self show through.

Yes. And I did not mean to imply that TB Revas are a must for rush! Please don't take that from my post! I just meant that if you normally wear something with a small logo (such as Revas) then go ahead...but don't go through rush wearing a bedazzled-like Chanel tshirt just to have a logo!

Maybe those Tory Burch flats were a rush necessity...two years ago.

I would say logos are a no-go.

There's a shoe named after Reva Shayne even though Guiding Light got cancelled?

I'm so confused :confused::confused:

Heh.

haha, oops. i would highly recommend that all pnm's wear clothing.

DUH. Pink sequin pantyhose!

The girls will also know if you're trying too hard. If you are wearing a bunch of stuff that makes you uncomfortable, it's easy to tell. And if you put on an act and get in a house with a bunch of girls that you aren't like or don't like, it will have been a waste of time. Just wear what fits well and what you're confident in. I think back to what I wore during recruitment and I cringe! But then I realize I ended up where I did because of who I am, not what I wore or didn't wear.
Also, I would recommend against referring to anyone as "uppity." That will not endear you to anyone, especially potential sisters.

OMG!!! I just have to say I think you need a reality check. I do not think you are overweight at all! Just because there is a hollywood ideal of what a sorority girl should look like does not make it true!!!!

I think you'll do great at rush :) I wish you luck!!!