Young & Married
 

I am almost done with my degree at a Technical School and whant to join a soroity. I am only 22 but married with a son, can I still join???

This is a non-collegiate sorority that you might consider looking into:
http://www.betasigmaphi.org

There are others out there also, but this is the one that I know of.

If you're looking to join an NPC sorority, KSUViolet is right, you must be an undergrad at a 4-year university. <drifts briefly out of her lane> My understanding is that NPHC orgs frequently accept new members who are older / married / with children. Other sororities may have different requirements. <merges back into her lane>

No matter what type of sorority you're interested in pursuing, do you really have the time to commit to a sorority? Successful completion of a new member program requires a lot of time (new member meetings, perhaps chapter meetings, rituals, bonding activities with your pledge sisters and older sisters, service projects, etc). Being the parent of a small child also requires a lot of time. Your studies, and later your job, will also require a lot of time. I don't mean to discourage you, but do think about the time factor.

You're correct. This is true for NPHC as well.

There is an active poster...um onetimesbx. I'm not sure about the eligibility requirements for her sorority...

http://www.sigmabetaxi.org/

From their FAQs:
What is Sigma Beta Xi Sorority?
Sigma Beta Xi is an organization, which started with the vision for true
sisterhood between all women but specifically for women with children.

Sure they can. Whether or not one is a parent is not a protected status such as one's gender or race.

It's correct.

Though I'm a litigator and not a constitutional lawyer, I'm pretty sure we didn't cover parent/child discrimination in law school. Perhaps you might be thinking of is FMLA, where you can take (unpaid) time off work to care for a sick child/spouse/self.

Perhaps some organizations out there might have policies where they say they won't discriminate against someone because they are a parent, but I've never heard of one. Feel free to post that info if you have it.

Thanks, but no research necessary. It's just common knowledge.

Thank you everybody for your posting your comments. Fortunatly for me I live with my husband and also have all of my family around me that supports my decision on trying to join a soroity. They offer to help with my child through out my college period. I am going to purse to the soroity that I do choose. The worst thing that could happen is they say NO. But I will never find that out until I try!!! I think that by being married to my childs father would be a postive that a soroity would look at, not a negiative. Thank You all!!!

I think having a child will be weighed negatively. I don't know one person in my school's Greek system who had a child. Maybe it happens elsewhere, but it definitely is not the norm. Your life as a wife and mother is 100% different from that of a typical college student.

A girl in my pledge class was 23 or 24 and received a bid because she was a legacy. She never hung out with the rest of the pledge class, who were a bunch of 18 and 19 year olds, and eventually dropped out of the sorority within a year. If age makes that much of a difference, I'd think motherhood would be even worse.

I don't want to sound harsh. You may be a wonderful person, wife, mother and student and those are where your priorities should lie. Things like new member meetings, chapter meetings, hanging out at the chapter house, late nights pomping homecoming decorations, recruitment and those workshops, swaps with fraternities, fill in the blank isn't where you should be spending your free time now. Spend it with your husband and child. You'll never get these early years of your child's life back, enjoy them while you can. I recently lost a child and I would do anything to have had more time with her.

Zillini, I am so sorry for your loss.

Babygirlash, your little boy needs you. I am an elementary school teacher, and I see so many young children who are desperate for attention because their moms are pulled in so many different directions. Your son will grow up so quickly, that you could blink and you'd miss it. Give yourself the gift of his childhood. :) Later, when he's a little older, you can investigate community sororities such as Beta Sigma Phi. But for right now, just enjoy your beautiful little boy. JMO

No one is asking for brownie points to enter a soroity. I want to work hard just like anybody else. I understand what every body is saying. All I want is a chance. The worst thing they can say is NO.

If you attend a VERY untraditional school where the sororities contain returning students, married students etc and typical college social activities are a very small part of it, then give it a try.

But if you go through rush and they tell you that there are mixers every Thursday, fraternity parties that members are "encouraged" to attend on the weekends, and many all-Greek philanthropies to be attended, I would not join. You'll either be away from your baby far too much, or paying for something you can't fully enjoy. Lots of bonding gets done at social events and if you're always hanging back or unable to attend, you'll miss the whole point of being in a sorority.

What type of sorority are you trying to join?

There are NO NPC sororities at Technical schools. I could be wrong, but I don't believe there are any NPHC sororities at technical schools either.

If there are no sororities on your campus, you can't join one and there won't be anyone there to tell you 'yes' or 'no'.

I'm so confused by the OP's thread and post.

OP - Maybe you should consider joining an organization through Alumnae Initiation. Some NPC organizations (mine included) have a process by which to join as an alumna member. This a good option for women who attended a college without a Greek system, or who simply missed out on the chance.

It sounds like your options (for many, many reasons) are limited if you're thinking about joining almost any social sorority as an undergraduate member.

Service GLOs are a whole other ballgame. Check with your school's Student Life/Organizations office.

I know you meant well, but I feel the need to point this out:

AI is not for EVERY woman who for whatever reason didn't join in college.

It's also not something you can just "apply for."

It's more like an honor for certain women who have contributed to the sorority or for a woman whom the sorority feels is so worthy that they should make an exception to the normal mode of joining (collegiate recruitment) and initiate her as an alumna.

It's occurrence across the sororities is extremely rare (a handful of women per year).

It's more of an exception to the rule, not something that is available to every woman who didn't join in college.

So it's not really something that should be suggested for PNMs on GC, simply because it's not something that is for everyone.

See the AI forum if you need more info.

I will say that PennTech (Pennsylvania College of Technology) does have some NPCs...and some National Fraternities...I'm pretty sure. If we are talking about something like ITT-then, I agree. It all depends.

Dear God, no.

I also do not understand what a married mother (although somewhat young) would have in common with single 18-21 year olds. Yes, we did philanthropy and study together, but a huge part of sorority life is social and meeting with fraternities for mixers and date parties. I just don't see how a lot of this would be appealing to a young married woman.

Also - I could be totally off base, but I seem to remember either my school / NPC or chapter limiting recruitment to unmarried undergraduates. Does this sound familiar to anyone else? (Probably not or else it would have already been mentioned!)

I don't know if it was just my chapter or my entire GLO, but I do remember that we could only pledge unmarried women into our chapter. **

However, I pledged over 15 years ago so that rule (whether it was local or international) could have changed since then.

**I can't remember anyone under the age of 30 who was married on my campus anyway, so it wasn't ever even an issue.

A married girl pledged my chapter the semester after I did.

To the OP: As a married mother who went early alum, I empathize with your desire to still feel a part of the group, and want to find time and inclusion in the things other girls your age are a part of and able to enjoy. On the other hand, the words of those who've already posted are true: your priorities now rest elsewhere. There are plenty of other organizations available that will allow you to fulfill your need for social interaction and/or philanthropic participation. Give those a try.

I feel like it's this way still... I had a conversation with someone in my chapter when I was pledging about how we couldn't be married, as a joke. My school has a pretty traditional greek system, though, so it is definitely assumed that no girls rushing are married... I doubt any are engaged either..

mea culpa
 

Ok, points taken. I failed to adequately express how rare the process is, and that it is something primarily undertaken by close family members or very close friends with existing members - AND for women who have demonstrated outstanding qualities that would make her an asset to the organization. These qualities really have to shine.

Babygirlash - just to clarify, alumnae initiation is generally for women who already have some significant tie to women in an organization, if the organization event supports alumnae initiation at all.

Though, I will say that I have always had a tendency to think that a significant portion of the rarity of AI is due to the lack of interest from potential initiates. I don't know of too many grown women who are willing to go through the process.

I'm not sure what the "process" to go through is if a woman is just being her awesome self without the goal of AI. The alumnae and/or collegians recognize how amazing this woman is an extend her an offer of membership, there isn't much of a "process" on the potential AI end if she's genuine. If she's involved just to get membership extended that's kind of shady. If someone is participating or involved for the express purpose of seeking membership as an AI, that's kind of strange to me.

But that's a whole other discussion we've had many times.

Hello all,

I probably should make a better introduction, but since I think I'm going back to lurking after this, it probably won't matter. I came to Greek Chat a few times last summer. I was going into my sophomore year, and decided I was going to rush that fall. I did some reading here and it got me very excited (and prepared!) for recruitment. In my research, I read some threads about alumnae initiation, just cause I was curious of what that meant. When I read it and realized that had nothing to do with me, I moved on. Since summer started, I re-discovered this website, and I've been reading semi-regularly.

Back to the point: I joined the new chapter on campus (one that was colonizing that fall). I love my sorority and I'm really happy with the decision I made! But something happened before initiation that made me remember things I read on this website. When we were getting information about initiation, our adviser told us about alumnae initiation, and our moms, sisters (already out of college), aunts, grandmas, etc., wanted to, they could get initiated too.

I was really confused because from what I read here, I didn't think alumnae initiation worked like that. They made it seem like it was really easy to do, and that it was an option open to many people. In a founding class made up of about 50-70 sisters (I'm not saying the real number in case someone can figure it out or something) there were 2 moms that got initiated as well. Is my sorority doing things completely different then others? Has anyone else heard of something like this?

I thought this was a relatively common practice during colonizations. I'm a charter member, and my mother could have initiated with me as she was not a member of another NPC group.

I was part of a colony too, and I had no idea that AI was common at colonizations. I did know, however, that we did have two moms and an older sister (or maybe it was a cousin??) get initiated through AI at mine. The more I think about it, though, it makes sense that they would have AIs at a colonization!

I was referring to the process of learning about the history of the organization, going through whatever new member education program is required, and going through the steps to actually, physically get initiated. Not everyone is interested in that.

Sorry, I should have been more specific - by technical schools I meant those along the lines of ITT.

I would assume (or I guess I should say hope) that any female relatives that are initiated are women that assisted a great deal with the colonization, or women who do so with the understanding that they will be active alumna volunteers. Not just "oh, isn't that nice and cute that our whole family initiated together." To me, that's making a mockery of the women who busted their butts to get that colony chartered.

Thanks for the replies! I also had no idea that this occurred often (or at least more often) during colonizations. I don't know why I just didn't ask about it before. :o Anyways, thanks for filling me in!

::tiptoes back into the shadows to be a lurker again::