Previously released pnms
 

Hi! I was wondering if anyone had any information on whether or not chapters which release a pnm one year (during first round of releases specifically-like after the first event)are required to do so the next year. The sororities I'm talking about specifically are Chi Omega, Tri Delta, Kappa Delta, Pi Beta Phi, Alpha Delta Pi, Kappa Alpha Theta, Delta Gamma, Delta Zeta, and Phi Mu.

I've heard that some chapters have a policy of "trusting" the judgement and reasoning of the sisters the year before and se they automatically release those girls which were released during first round (or maybe even second round) but I'm not sure because its just hearsay I guess.. I'd like to be prepared for the event that I'm released heavily if that is whats going to happen, just so its easier to handle :)

Thanks girls!!

Nope - we do not have information on the specific membership selection procedures of sororities. If we did, we couldn't talk about it. Chapters make their decisions on a local basis, and no one knows why.

Your best bet would be to do any advance work regarding recommendation letters that might help out and work to make sure your GPA and resume are the absolute very best possible. If you get released, you get released, and there's no way to know why - even if someone tries to tell you why, you have no guarantee that they are telling the truth.

Don't worry about that which you cannot control and focus instead on that which you can. :) Good luck!

What jwright25 said. Period. Close thread.

My sorority has no formal "once cut, always cut" rule on a national level and I doubt if any other NPC sororities do, but on a local level I think you will find that the top sororities probably do, especially in a competitive rush but it is an informal policy. Some also have a freshman only policy. Just don't worry about it because there is nothing you can do about it.

Thanks for the advice.. I figured nobbody could say anything definitively. Its just I went through rush and wasnt happy with the results and I honestly think that if I went through it again I would accept any bid offered regardless of if it was a 'top house'. I know this is off topic...but have any of you ever known a girl who was cut really hard and honestly felt like bad depression from it. I never wanted to tell my friends how affected I was by my first rush experience.. Little girls always grow up being told that they're beautiful and perfect and all that. Then, I go through recruitment and all the sudden I feel like there must be something terribly wrong with me. I walked through the doors with great, high self esteem..and somehow I left scarred almost. I feel like I'm missing out. I feel like there must be something wrong with me. Does anyone know a girl who felt like this after rush rejection or am I just dramatic...

No one likes to be rejected, and EVERYONE has experienced that feeling more than once in her life. Some schools even have therapists on hand at Bid Day. So no, you are not alone in feeling this way. However, if those feelings persist, please talk to a counselor or doctor to help you move past the disappointment and focus on being happy and well!

Everyone's different, so things effect them differently. I wasn't in that situation but as a Rho Chi I equated it to getting dumped by a boyfriend. Sometimes when they say "it's me, not you" it's true. And just about every girl has been in THAT situation to some degree. It doesn't suck any less, but it isn't always you. And if it was partially you, depending on the campus it could be for an extremely trivial reason. Remember that sorority women aren't a chosen race...they are women JUST like you and you'll find friends, I'm sure, whether or not you end up being Greek. There's no reason to think that they know something about yourself that you don't. You know who you are, what you have to offer the world, and as cliche as it sounds, if they can't see that, it's not your problem. Take your assets and talents elsewhere, join a club on campus, make new friends, and enjoy yourself.

No one here knows why a particular PNM gets cut. No one here can or will say if a particular chapter has a "Once cut, always cut" policy. To be clear though, no GLO has an official policy regarding that.

I will say a PNM can improve her chances for a 2nd try. If the cuts were due to grades, buckle down and pull that GPA up. If her HS resume wasn't all that stellar, get involved on campus in clubs, activities, community service, etc. If she didn't know anyone in the chapters, spend the year getting to know and making friends with as many sorority girls as possible. If she was incredibly overwhelmed and/or shy during Recruitment, work on coming out of her shell in social situations.

Just remember on many campuses going through recruitment as a sophomore can be more difficult simply because they are not freshmen. On some campuses, year is school doesn't matter that much. On others, there are special upperclassmen quotas so sophs and jrs are competing directly with freshmen.

Everyone handles rejection differently, but I do want to share with you what I witnessed. Several young women on my floor went through the process together their freshmen year at University of Florida. I would say six women to be exact. I had already been through the process, so I was able to watch and listen to their stories. They all were wonderful women with various strengths/weaknesses. IMO, what happened as the week went on was quite shocking. They were met with horrible rejection. They had very hard cuts and were left with little to no houses to return and very early on in the process. They all had super grades and high school activities to back them up. Only one of them made it through to the end and pledged. It was gut-wrenching.

They all felt awful and I do not say that mildly. I thank goodness they had each other to bond with and the strength to make it through as the semester was just getting started for them. They actually went on to get involved in various clubs and even the famed Dazzlers (dance squad) and one a UF cheerleader. They even started their own sorority.

It does hurt and I think it is a learning process. It is a life experience. Please try to not take it personal. It happens to many young women every year. I wish you the very best!

You are not the only one who feels that way. My HS BFF was cut in UGA rush and transferred to Georgia Tech as a junior. She told me that she just couldn't stand the thought of of spending the rest of her college career at the same school with the sorority girls who cut her the year before. She just wanted out.
Just try and remember that at most schools most of the girls are not in a sorority and they function just fine. Get involved in a campus organization and make non greek friends. Only try a second rush if you feel that you can handle the real possibility that the second one will be no better than the first.

This really stood out to me.

While it may not be the case with you, I have encountered tons of PNMs who felt this away about themselves as they were going through the Rush process. It came across as snobbish and aloof, and not the type of sister that many chapters are looking for.

If, and note that I did say "if," it is possible that you were giving off these types of vibes, then that is one more thing that you could change about how you present yourself if you decide to rush again.

Conversation skills and attitude/personality can be just as necessary to the rush process as grades and involvement. All are important.

I think this is a generational thing, kids nowadays get handed a trophy for showing up and girls in particular have their self esteem tippy toed around. if the 1st disappointment you get is at age 18 of course it's going to hit you harder.

i wouldn't be at all surprised if there were other girls who were depressed after recruitment. depression is so much more than just being disappointed when things don't turn out the way you had hoped. if you feel that you are still suffering from depression, please go to the health clinic on your campus and talk to someone.

Thanks for all the kind words-i mean i've faced rejection before..but its usually so concrete, such as you didnt make cheerleading this year bc your front hand spring was off or your toe touch was sloppy. That way your like okay, I'll work on that and make it next year. Constructive criticism. My major mental breakdown moment with rush was that I felt like this was a 360 examination- my hair, grades, clothes, friends, reputations, extracurriculars, etc. etc. I felt like these groups thought, well on an overall level..your just not good enough so we're going to cut you as quickly as possible (1st round). Its hard to try to improve when all you can think is wow, everything is wrong with me.

My boyfriend told me he'd break up with me if I rushed when I was a freshman. So I didn't. Then I rush as a sophomore and this happens. Now I'm going on as a junior. I know quite a few sweet, nice girls.. I've made it a point even to befriend greek women and ask the friends I've had since before college for their advice. I'm trying so hard..

I have a question. If I have a stellar gpa, should I even bring it up? Someone told me I may have gotten cut because I had a hard major and a good gpa. I dont see how this could be bad? But I dont know..thats just who I am, thats whats important to me. Another question-are girls looked down upon who re-rush? Will they wonder whats wrong with me and be confused as to why I'm still trying to get a bid? I don't want to look desperate or be "that" girl.

If they ask, how do I even explain consisely why I'm re-rushing? Also, I know this is really random but..the last day of recruitment I went to I wore these shorts and a polo. I feel like my shorts might have been slightly too short. Not ridiculous, but maybe slightly. I was also too tan..but it wasnt fake. I worked on the beach an entire summer. Could that have been a turn off? Does that stuff even really matter much?

The attitude toward girls who re-rush depends on your school. At some schools, it's not looked at weirdly. At others, it is. I'm sure some girls will wonder why you're rushing again.

In terms of your grades, again, we can't really say why you were cut. But if your GPA is pretty high, that's probably not the reason.

If asked, be honest. Some girls will probably already know that you were released last fall.

In terms of your shorts, if they were REALLY short, it may have raised an eyebrow, and so could your tan. There could be any number of reasons why you were released. We will never know.

I highly suggest reading this thread: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...light=released

It is a 360 examination.
And just because you were cut doesn't necessarily mean you are a terrible person and you have all kinds of stuff wrong with you.

No one can really tell you (on this board or otherwise) what went wrong. Maybe you really did have stellar grades and extra currics and community service, but a LOT of other people going through recruitment have the SAME THINGS.

People get lost through the cracks sometimes b/c of the release figures. It happens all of the time.

That sucks that you potentially missed a great experience as a freshman b/c of your jerk boyfriend. Personally, someone who gives you ultimatums like that aren't worth being with anyway.

It's possible that even as a Sophomore you were cut hard because of your class standing, and you need to prepare yourself for that again next year if you plan to rush again as a Junior.

If you are going to dumb yourself down to get into a sorority (a plan that likely won't work) you probably have some deeper issues that you need to deal with before thinking about rushing again.

I think generally there are women who remember pnms that went through the year before.

Also, you mentioned previously that you went through rush but "weren't happy with the results" -- is that because you dropped out? Or were you dropped by all houses?

well technically i dropped out myself. But I did so when I was dropped by all the houses but 1. I didnt think the lone house was a good fit..and so I left in tears. I really want to be in a sorority. I'm thinking seriously about rushing again..i just dont want to make myself look pathetic or anything. I know a lot of girls in the various houses (like 2-3 in each instead of a lot in just a few..which doesnt really work out I dont think)..and I dont want those girls to think 'god, just give it up already...' ahh. advice?

i know this is yet again, random..but what length in shorts is considered appropriate? (the mediator I think mentioned they might have been too short which might have been an issue). Should I not wear flip flops (such as rainbows)? And most importantly, should I not directly bring up my GPA when asked about my major? Also, if I know someone in the house and the conversation begins to feel like its slowing down..should I not mention the person I know? Bc i did that and the girl was instantly like "oh here I'll go get her so you can say hi"..it seemed awkward almost..like I shouldnt be talking to or mentioning someone I know already. I also went into a lot of detail on my application saying how I love social activities and volunteering..am very amiable etc. Should I keep it simple and leave all that stuff off?

Understand that if you were released by all but one chapter last year, that there's a chance that the SAME thing could happen next year. You could even be dropped by ALL of them. Just understand that rushing again doesn't always equal a better result the second time around.

To be quite honest, this depends on the attitude of the women at your school. Some people might stigmatize you for having rushed last year, and some might not. There's no real way to change that or get around that.




The sororities will already know your GPA from your application without you having to talk about it.

Whether flip flops are appropriate depends on your school.

To be honest, I don't really think it's a good idea to "name drop" during recruitment. It's annoying. I mean, if a girl is a chapter, chances are good that the girl you're talking to knows her.

Activities are good to put on your app if you have any.

would you consider honor societies an activity? I think that may be part of the problem..too few activities since high school

sorry forgot something. is it looked at weirdly if you tap the girls knee your talking to while talking (not weirdly, just like I use my hands when I talk and I think I said something like "oh my god I know.." and tapped my hand on her knee for like..ehh emphasis I guess). I know they arent supposed to touch you.. so i was curious. Also, is it bad to talk about silly things. I kept relating to girls about topics like cheese cake and celebrity gossip magazine things and silly stuff..but stuff they seemed really interested (like genuinely, not the whole "scripted" interest).

Honor societies count. However, having TONS of activities is great, but that's generally not the MOST important part of recruitment.


I don't know about touching. That depends on the individual person. Some people are weirded out by being touched by strangers in ANY situation.

In terms of conversation, talking about silly things in itself isn't bad. Members don't want to have scripted and serious conversations all the time in recruitment. Conversation is one of the most important parts of recruitment. A girl can be amazing with GPA, activities and such on paper, but if she can't hold a conversation, she's probably not going to get a bid.

I suggest reading this thread about conversation and recruitment: http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...t=conversation

I suggest you get to know the sorority women that you have met. They will be able to give you more concrete advice about recruitment and expectations for an upperclassman. They may even be able to give you some insight on why you were cut before.

Honestly, your posts come off a little bit desperate - letting a boy influence your choices, no extracurriculars but reeeeally wanting to be in a sorority, stressing if you are too tan/gpa is too high, etc. Try to spend the summer (and fall if this is deferred recruitment) figuring out who you are and what you want to get out of college. Joining a sorority won't fix your problems - if anything it will bring out your insecurities, etc. However, it can be a wonderful experience if your expectations are realistic. Continue trying to meet sorority women to make friends anyways, and they may be able to help you in the next recruitment. Good luck!

Fleur brings up some important points.

Finding out what you want out of your college experience (and life) is something you need to do. Also, it sounds like you are trying too hard and over-thinking everything. Just be yourself and stop thinking about what everyone else wants or what they are thinking. You will also come across as more self-assured and not insecure. The foregoing advice is based on life experience and has nothing to do with sororities.

Also, (and this is advice I would give emphatically to my own daughter) NEVER make major decisions based on a boyfriend. Save that for the people to whom you will be committed to for life. You sacrifice for your children, husband, etc. Save this type of sacrific for later on in life. That was unfair of your boyfriend to make such a demand. However, we all live and learn painful lessons as we go.

If your depression does not subside, please, please get help.

I would like to add to this thread by bringing up the issue of the OP's year in school. Depending on the campus, going through recruitment as a junior can be very difficult. Further, depending on the campus, her sophomore status could have very likely been the factor that hurt her the worst during recruitment.


P.S. Kudos, KSUViolet06, for your very helpful comments to the OP.

OK, so you said you dropped out of recruitment because you were dropped by all but 1 house that you felt wasn't a good fit for whatever reason.

I know that recruitment can be hard - but it just seems to me like you were set on certain groups because of the statements above and because you asked about specific sororities in your original post.

I think if you REALLY wanted to be in a sorority, you would have at least stayed with recruitment and gave that house a shot. Sometimes it's hard to form correct opinions of the houses in short 30-minute recruitment events. There have been a zillion stories in these boards about girls who got bids to houses they weren't sure about and ended up loooooooving their house & sisters & experiences.


So if next year's rush turned out like this years (dropped by all but that 1 house) would you accept a bid there or at least finish recruitment?

Just asking b/c if that were to happen, you need to be prepared for that

I'm not sure how to get your quotes on here but in reply to texas princess, yes i would accept a bid I was offered regardless of what it happened to be ("top" choice or not). I should have done that last year; they deserved a chance. I was being snobby and it was dumb...

In response to fleur de lis... I dont feel "desperate".. my whole issue is that I wasnt sure if certain things were even important to the process (being tan, extracurriculars, etc).. I just wanted to see exactly how much weight each of these facets held. No exact answers, but opinions I guess. I'm not trying to "fix all my problems".
This is how I look at it:
I missed out on something great because I allowed myself to be controlled by my boyfriend (a guy I had been dating since I was in middle school, ridiculous i know). I made a terrible mistake and ever since that moment I've felt deep regret. I hate regret. I'd rather make a fool out of myself than feel regret about something. I decided to rush and for some crazy reason I decided all of the sudden that there was no way in hell I wouldnt get a bid to a "top" house. I'm not sure why I felt this insurgence of confidence but for some reason I did. All of this just made the rejection unbearable...I built myself up, made myself fall hard. I screwed up not giving the house that didnt reject me a chance.

I keep thinking..dont rush again, you'll be seen as "desperate" and people will wonder why you didnt get a bid last time/what happened/etc... then I think about like 15 years down the road when I'm older..am I going to wonder what would have happened? Will I even care.. well just in case I do, I think I'm gonna give it another shot. Someone posted above that I was over analyzing/over thinking this and I think they're right. I always do that...ha and I guess its not the best thing. Hopefully it will work out..

I agree with KSUViolet06.

Only you will know if you will regret not tying again. The problem is if you do not try this one last time - you will not be able to try later in life. I know I would want to look back later in my life knowing that I did try and then I will have little to regret.