Chapter meeting secrecy
 

This may seem like a silly question, but does your chapter have a policy where everything discussed within a chapter meeting is closed to non- members? Because we seem to have a problem in my chapter where many times, information that should be confidential is leaked to inappropriate people from other sisters.

There is nothing in our constitution that says anything about a secrecy clause.

Input?

This isn't anything that should require a "clause." It's just common sense. It's sorely lacking in most college age students today, unfortunately. (Yes, I am having a cranky old bag moment.)

in my own chapter as well as chapters i work with as an alumna, it is understood that things which would be considered confidential will not be discussed outside the chapter room. i am not sure that it is stated as such in the by-laws or constitution.

We have meeting rituals. So, yes, everything discussed within is completely secret.

Thanks you guys. What do you think is the best way to convey this to the sisters without pointing the finger?

In my Phi Sig chapter we had a big problem with people breaking secrecy. We ended up passing an amendment to the bylaws about it.

If a brother knows another brother broke meeting secrecy they can tell any member of EB. Once EB is informed, they handle the situation. But, basically, there is a succession of consequences ranging from a warning (1st offense) to expulsion (numerous offenses).

I think it was a pretty idea, but it doesn't work. No one is going to tattle on their best friend/brother.

We've never had a problem with things showing up on Facebook, but sometimes when there's a big controversy, girls will discuss it on campus. Usually, when this happens the President simply makes a comment in her report during meetings about "Remember anything that happens under ritual is private, and if you need to discuss it, make sure you're in the house." And that's all. I suppose maybe some people get called up to our standards board about it, but I've never heard about it if they do. It's just a general admonishment. I think people will always talk after a big decision, and it's best if there's a place to do so (if you don't have a house, maybe make sure you're in your own room/apartment/suite/whatever)

Here's how it would go in my chapter (and I can picture the sister who was president when I graduated saying this to a tee.) President would stand before the chapter probably before beginning the regular business part of the meeting but while we're in the more serious meeting mood. She'd probably say it just like this: "Ladies, we've had some instances of a few sisters discussing private chapter business with people outside of our chapter and I think it would be appropriate for us to review what can and can not be discussed with non-members. Ritual, of course, is never to be mentioned or discussed at all with any non-initiated member of Tri Delta, but chapter business is also private and requires a certain level of discretion on your parts. Please be respectful of your sisters and keep our privacy in mind. Does anybody have any questions about what would be considered private and what is public?"

Senior year, I lived with two other members of my chapter and a fourth roommate who was a member of another sorority on our campus. She was our best friend and she even came with us to some of our events. Some people thought it was weird that she wasn't there at our senior soiree. By default, she knew pretty much everything about our chapter except ritual, because she was such a trusted friend. Tri Delta loved her and she loved Tri Delta and her own chapter too, of course.

Oh, and I swear that I didn't reveal anything secret in this post;)

what happens in the fam stays in the fam, and anything dealing with business stays within the people who are in that business..... like everyone else said that's should be a given no need to be in your chapters Constitution.

Kind of a different question but within the same topic... What about alumni/alumnae? I've seen problems with this in the past. Active members confide in alumni/alumnae members about things that happen in meetings, which most of the time isn't a problem. But on some rare occasions, those graduated members get involved where they probably shouldn't.

What would you say concerning a situation such as this?

Most of our meetings are actually open. We recently had one where parents were invited and if we have bidded a guy but have yet to put him through, we let him sit in our meetings. But we have ritual meetings once a month that are obviously closed. Also there are occasional meetings where we discuss things that outsiders shouldn't hear.

Haha.

Alums are still members so I don't really know what you mean by "shouldn't" get involved. As an alum myself, some of the actives and pledge sisters come to me with questions/problems/etc and I help them with it or address it to the proper person... I feel like that's what we're here for...to be the pillars for the current actives to lean on...
Maybe I'm misunderstanding...:confused:
Feel free to elaborate/give an example or correct me if I am way off-base.

Get off my lawn!

Seriously though, if this is a problem, there shouldn't be the need for a "clause." It should be something discussed with the offending members.

I had a similar concern when putting together an advisory council for the chapter I advise. I specifically requested that alumnae on the council be 5+ years post-grad not because they weren't passionate about helping but because there is a level of life experience a mentor needs to have that comes with a little of seperation. I find that alumnae too close to the chapter (recent grad, family member as a sister, etc.) have a greater tendancy to stir the pot instead of control the simmering drama. Once there is a seperation from the collegiate chapter, an adviser/alumnae can come back and support operations because there is a realization that it is no longer their chapter but now belongs to the collegiate members. I would recommend recent alumnae that want to continue post-graduate involvement to do so with an alumnae chapter to support the organization.

My chapter doesn't really have alumnae (outside of advisers) interested in hanging out with the collegiate chapter during formal business rituals. I believe that most alumnae would prefer to attend the less serious and fun events.

As someone who drafts a lot of bylaws and deals with parlimentary procedure, I will give you my 2 cents worth (ha - that is less than free at today's prices) If the violation of confidentiality is something that you want to be sanctionable, it should be in the bylaws. That is, if you forsee having to discipline someone, as mentioned by an earlier poster, you should spell out the violation (at least in general terms) and the consequence. I am (proudly)in it with the other 'old bags' - this should be unneccesary if common sense and respect are exercised by the sisters. However that was taken out of the growing up curriculum a while ago, so sometimes it has to be taught through rules and regs....

See, I don't think that it was though. I'm fairly young (graduated college 2003), but I talk to people who were Greeks at a bunch of different schools over a bunch of different time periods (70s, 80s, 90s, etc.), and I've heard stories from all of those time periods about secrecy being a problem with certain people in certain chapters.

It's not that collegiate Greeks (or college students for that matter) are less responsible than in the past; I think it's more an issue that we tend to gloss over our experiences as we get older, and forget that some of the same issues existed.

ETA: Not to harp on the point, but I always get a little squeamish when people (especially those in their late 20s, 30s and even 40s) start piling on the current college students. For me it's right up there with "You'll understand when you're my age."

My college experience is long in the past but I deal with alot of high school organizations and so my view is tainted. (However, in many cases I will acknowledge that parents can be just as lacking as the kids when it comes to common sense.)

I agree (as a 90's graduate "old bag" :)) but it has become much easier with technological advances for secrecy to be compromised. What was one girl talking to another outside of a meeting has now become a Facebook status or email that is too easily forwarded.

Back before the turn of the century, I had email in college but didn't get but probably 20 in 4-years of undergrad. Cell (bag) phones existed but were too expensive for the majority of my friends to regularly own. Don't even get me started on the whole texting thing, I'd rather pass a note!

I actually give a lot of credit to the college students today who exercise discretion. I think it is harder by far, with facebook, email and chatrooms to be discreet because you do not always remember how public it is.

Back in my day, when you went on Spring Break, for instance, that momentary lack of judgment would not appear on the internet, someone's phone vid - or Girls Gone Wild.

Fair enough - Facebook, MySpace and the like have made it that much easier for students to spread around (possibly secret or embarrassing) information.

That said, I always think we need to be careful when we start saying "This never would have happened in my day," or things along those lines.

This.

This is the problem. They're not going to meetings. But active sisters will leave the meetings, talk to the alumnae about things that happened, and then it causes issues.

For example: Changing the mascot. Our chapters each have local mascots in addition to our national one. The chapter wanted to change it. There was a lot of discussion about it, and people said they wanted it to MEAN something to them. Then sisters would bring in ideas and they had discussions that weren't.. well thought out? I don't want to go into too much detail, so we'll leave it at that. Some of the active sisters relayed what they considered to be "ridiculous discussion" to alumnae. Some alumnae were mad and "offended" because they were changing the mascot that they knew throughout college, and it appeared they were doing it "just because".. even though they have the right to do that, no matter what the reason.

Alumnae can still attend business meetings (not that it happens often), so where is the line drawn?

I second this BIG TIME. Alumnae can be as bad a helicopter parents, especially if the chapter has changed and they don't approve of how things are going. Advisers are one thing, because they do have the right to be there at the meetings, but even that can come off as overbearing and even make it seem like they don't trust the chapter to do it themselves. My sisters and I would have thought it very strange and out of place if alumnae started showing up at chapter... Even our alumna adviser was like a helicopter mom and it got really bitter by the end.

Hear, hear! We were taught while new members that the D in Delta stood for Discretion.

We have a similar rule, but I was surprised to find out that some GLOs don't have it.

It should go with out saying to any member of a GLO that is a meeting is closed, than things that occur within its doors are private! Unfortunately, as some other have said, people just don't have the common sense anymore to understand this!

i agree with KSU.... undergrad are suppose tu use their graduate members as a guide and to confide in when seeking advise, yet, at the same time undegrad and graduate chapter are different and handle and view things very differently. Therefore, grad is an option when looking for guidance and to be utilized as an advisory member. That doesn't mean that grad member have that right to take over the situation and handle it the way they want. You have to have confidence in your undergrad chapter. if you didn't then that's when grad steps in and speak with the executive board.

I agree with you wholeheartedly, however, in my local, it's difficult to follow this. I've been an alum for a few years now, and I just don't have the time or resources to be as involved as I'm needed to be or want to be. Actives will contact me with problems, but usually after its too late to do damage control or they just plain don't take my advice. Then I get phone calls from other people bitching and want me to get involved (I held a number of positions when I was active- the girls usually followed/listened to me- not to sound like that but you know...). Once I do say what I have to say things tend to settle down. My point is, in my case its hard to walk the line.