New here, in AI process!
 

I've been in the process of AI since about October. I've met all the women of my local alumna chapter and actively participate in their events. The next step for approval before I am initiated is to meet the women of the local collegiate chapter. I get to do this finally on Saturday, at their annual formal! I'm so excited!

Any tips on my first sorority formal? I'm taking my significant other, am wearing a black halter cocktail dress, and have ordered our corsage and boutonniere (the sorority's official flower, of course!) Any other ideas or things I should think about ahead of time?

If the collegiate chapter agrees, I will be initiated on April 26.

As a collegiate chapter adviser, the thing that creeps me out is when alumnae members want to become overly involved with a collegiate chapter. Remember that you will be joining as an alumnae and not a collegiate member and should act in that regard. I'm all for assisting a collegiate chapter but remember that their chapter is for collegiate members and not alumnae hoping to relive their collegiate days.

I think she's saying that she HAS to meet the collegiate women to get approval for initiation. The collegiate chapter doing the initiation may have to okay her application. As for the corsage, I think that it's a little much. I can't remember anyone wearing them at formals in college.

Agree. My caution was intended for her to downplay the excitement of attending a collegiate formal since she is obviously enthuastic about her date, dress and corsage. I do not know the organization or AI process that she will be undergoing but wish her luck in the alumane chapter upon initiation.

AI
 

At this point, it probably is not a good idea to wear the sorority flower or in any way indicate that you already consider yourself a member. Even though you are an adult pending initiation as an alum, you are a PNM to the collegiate chapter and should not wear their colors or flower yet. Just be pleasant and meet as many members as possible. Watch the drinking if alcohol is around (although it shouldn't be) and no making out or too close dancing with the SO. You don't have to be prudish but there will probably be some alums at the formal watching you as well.

Best of luck to you. I am sure you will enjoy being initiated.

Paula M.
Sigma Delta Tau
Patrae Multi Spes Una
One Hope of Many People

Is it common for AI candidates to "get to know" the college members at a formal event? From a collegian perspective, this thing has awkward written all over it.

I think it would depend on the organization, the chapter, and the type of formal. If the formal was a philanthropic event that parents and other alumnae traditionally attend, it may not be uncommon for a potential alumna initiate to be there. If the event is the chapter's own annual or semesterly formal, I can see how that could be awkward; however the formal may be QueenCity's only real chance to meet the entire chapter before initiation.

I agree with what others have said about the corsage. Check with the alumnae to see what the norm is for the chapter, but in my experience, people didn't wear corsages to Greek formals. Wearing the sorority's flower is a lovely sentiment, but it might come across as presumptuous.

Best of luck to you, and have a great time!

Wearing the sorority's flower (and giving it to your date) is very presumptuous before you're a member.

Unless this "formal" is an event that parents and older alumnae attend, I would look for another chance to meet the chapter. For many chapters, formal is a very special occasion for active sisters and their dates only - I can't imagine how upset and resentful I would have been to have a woman I didn't know attending, let ALONE to have her bringing a date.

This may be your last chance to meet everyone this school year, but if you weird everyone out, you may completely ruin your chance to become a sister. Just because the alum chapter or the national office thinks this meeting at the formal business is fine doesn't mean that the collegians will.

Do what you feel is best and do so with your whole heart.

I wish you the very best! Please report back on the formal.

The formal went well; the event was held about an hour from the campus. The women and their dates took two buses and due to some logistical issues, arrived a bit later than expected. My date and I socialized with the chapter advisor and her husband while we waited on them. The truth is many of the women were relatively intoxicated by the time they arrived, but it was a pleasant time, nonetheless!

I'm meeting with the women again in a regular chapter meeting this weekend. They will take a vote at that meeting, and if approved, I'll be initiated in two weeks!

SERIOUSLY.

I agree about discretion and would recommend not being so quick to judge the actions (intoxication) of those that ultimately vote on your fate.

Wow. Just wow.

Holy Jebus.

I guess wearing the sorority flower before she was a member WASN'T the biggest blunder she could make. Live and learn.

Maybe all the chapter members will be too hungover to bother voting on her membership application.

Are people really surprised that college kids were drunk at their formal?

One can only hope.

No, people are surprised that the OP completely ignored everyone's advice and can't STFU, and has her city in her post, therefore probably making it really obvious who she is.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I know what campus she's talking about.

It really isn't hard at all to figure out what campus she is at. :rolleyes:

For reals. A caveman could probably figure it out. I wonder which sorority?

Ooh, broadcast it on SL for us non-Ohioans, will you? :D

Uh, no. But one would think a prospective alumnae initiate (or an alumna for that matter) would be discreet enough not to air that kind of dirty laundry on the intargoogles. Especially since it's pretty easy to figure out who she's talking about given the previous indiscretions.

And considering how few of the sororities on that campus do AI at all, it isn't hard to narrow it down to the chapter. Especially when she's blabbed the date of their formal, initiation date and alumnae meeting and voting day. Pretty embarrassing. She can only hope that women from this AC or chapter aren't here reading this.

The "Oh my" has nothing to do with fact that the women were intoxicated.

It has to do with the fact that she (as a woman seeking membership in that sorority) would post that. Like a "why does that matter" kind of thing.

I think I'm still shocked they even had her meet them at a formal!?! Whoever thought that up was not thinking clearly.

See, I'm thinking of another place altogether b/c I can think of another city that uses the same slogan.....

When I was a collegian, we had strict rules about communicating with alumnae. Advisors were accessible whenever possible, but if it came to trying to get a hold of a non-advisor concerning a non-business item, we had to go through proper channels, namely through our Alumnae Relations Coordinator.

I guess I'm just :eek: that a non-member being considered for AI was even allowed to attend a collegiate function...and bring a date. :rolleyes:

I guess maybe some NPC's do have them meet collegians? But I'm still :eek: at the thought that the person who set this up thinking FORMAL was the right event!!

Her city is clearly listed in her location.

This outcome is exactly why I mentioned how awkward having a prospective AI at a formal would be when she first posted. I can't even fathom it.

I'm familiar with the school and for that campus environment, it would be seen as totally weird for an alumna to be at formal. You MIGHT see a recently graduated alumna as someone's date or something. Most alumnae live in the larger cities about an hour away (such as Cincinnati :)) so there isn't usually a lot of day-to-day alumnae involvement.

My bad! I was just looking at her screename!

I now revise my thinking and echo everyone begging the OP to use some discretion.

I'm a little scared. She said her "first" sorority formal.... as in "the first of many"... WTH? I've been an alum for a few years now, and not once have I ever gone to a collegiate chapter's formal.

Even if I was allowed, I wouldn't even want to go - I'm way too old for that scene!

And in my sorority/chapter, no alums were even allowed at formal or other events unless they were advisors (risk mgmt). And I think there was one... maaaaybe two advisors that went to formal but that was about it.

WOW:eek:

Um also do most sororities have their advisor at their formal?

I'm an advisor, and I go to formals. It's sort of expected of me (as someone else said, risk management). Plus I'm another car in case of emergencies.

If not the advisor, definitely a chaperone. I attended a collegiate chapter formal as the advisor's "date" once...and it was very awkward for me. I imagine it was the same way with the girls as well.

We try to have an adviser at the larger events to assist in monitoring risk management issues however, I suggest that my advisory council members play a low key role from the corner as an observer and not attend with date, corsage, etc. Advisers should be there to do their job and not unnecessarily socialize as was the case with the OP AI candidate.

This is kind of what I was getting at with my first post on this topic. I think that it is creepy when alumnae members try to re-live their college experiences which was my impression of the initial post considering she spoke of her dress, date and corsage at her "first sorority formal." I wonder if the OP remembers what it was like to be 20 years old and in college. I know that it wasn't always a prim and proper experience for me.

I attended formals as an advisor - it was not something I looked at as a social event (although I did enjoy being with the actives) but as part of my "job".