I can't believe what I just heard!
 

Post stupid stuff you overhear. I'm borrowing one from gypsyboots -


"I hate philosophy. It's so much learning."

This thread is already SO WACKY!

"If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

:p

"Celeste, these are amazing brownies!"

(They weren't. They were awful. Just like her Amish Bread.)

Ew. What's amish bread?

Is that Amish Friendship bread? It's like a sourdough starter thing ...

Student: "All people who make under $40,000 are on welfare and are bad for society"

Me: "Student, who told you that?"

Student: "My Dad, and he is always right!"

(A real conversation I had with one of my 9th graders......Apparently I live on welfare and I am a detriment to society....I couldn't stop laughing afterward...)

"So, like, does a laser printer use ink or does it just burn the letters onto the paper?"

Girl in the HONORS COLLEGE computer lab.

Overheard in chemistry class years but zoo classic I still remember it . "umm miss kindell, I totally don't get this avacado's number thing." :p

Overheard in chemistry class years but zoo classic I still remember it . "umm miss kindell, I totally don't get this avacado's number thing." :p

I also heard that as Alvarado numbers (which makes me think of the delicious Alvarado Street Bakery).

And don't forget Ava Gardner's number.

:p

Is that funny if you've taken chemistry? Sorry, I totally don't get it.

"So why would a guy sleep with me if he doesn't really like me?"
"Well I think he's in love with you but scared to admit it. It's the only thing that makes sense."
"But he won't answer my calls!"
"DUH! He's scared!"
- Two girls in the Elementary Ed hallway, while I waited for a class to start

Lol, yes it's a chemistry thing (and the correct term is Avogodro's number which, as you've surmised, everyone gets wrong. ;)


There was a girl in my 6th grade class who said the world's largest bird was an "Alcatraz."

The etymology of "alcatraz" is related to birds, pelicans which roosted on the island of Alcatraz hence the name. So she was right about birds, just not the largest birds in the world (thank you fourth grade California history module, and third grade San Francisco history module). Maybe she meant albatross, but are we talking largest flying or flightless bird? Those are quite different.

Here's something I can't believe I heard:

Oral sex is completely safe from catching STDs (college junior, male, fraternity member).

girl: starts story about one of her daughters
guy: which daughter?
girl: I said MY! MY is singular for one!!!

I had to wait a second to see if she was serious before I corrected her. Said girl/woman was in her mid 20s with a degree in general studies.

Yes, she meant "albatross."

Somebody once told me (in college) that they didn't use condoms because she knew which guys weren't "man enough" to be able to get her pregnant. :confused: She's probably a mother right now.

Mom: Josh is NOT coming up here
Daughter's friend: But I need my retainers. They're very important to me. I'm gona get a gap

a lot funnier to be there

This reminds me of something my biology teacher in HS said:

"What do you call people who use the rhythm method of birth control?"

"Parents"

Awesome! Maybe infected would work too?

Years ago in a Blockbuster video store my sister and I are browsing the new releases. We're standing in the 'H' section near two "dudes."

Dude #1 picks up http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a3...e87/henryV.jpg and says, "Dude, Henry Five. Wonder what that's about."

My sister and I try desperately not to burst into laughter right there in their faces. Nonetheless, sister says under her breath, "Henry Five! - Henry takes Manhattan!"

Teacher: I know the weather is nice outside and this is mundane, but we just need to get through it.

Studen (senior in high school, in Nat. Honor Society): But today isn't mundane, it's Wednesday!

Guy:(talking about a girl he hooked up with coming out of the closet) And I said, "So you mean to say that I'm the last guy on Earth to fully satisfy you as a woman? Allll right!"

Someone needs to watch "He's Just Not That Into You."

See if you can follow this connection-My best friend's daughter's half sister's mother told her (the half sister) she can't go to college for a year after she graduates high school because she needs to spend a year taking care of her horses. We both were like, what?? :confused:

LOVE IT ;)

In my inbox:

College junior: ...yep those were the days, indefinitely!

I believe she meant definitely.

so apparently are most of the households in america.

isn't that like the mean or median household income in this country?

"can i get pregnant if a guys came on my stomach?"

"But I can't be pregnant!! We had sex standing up!"

Would that be the same as your best friend's step-daughter's mother? ;)

Actually, my best friend had a daughter with her ex-husband. Her ex had a daughter with his second wife-so she has no real connection to the girl. Her daughter, however, is the girl's half-sister.

Basically, her daughter was complaining about what an idiot she thought her step-mother was and my friend agreed and decided to share with me. We both had a :confused: over that story.

I was on the 4 train, somewhere between Wall Street and Grand Central, when I heard the following:

Announcement: This is a Bronx-bound 4 express train. The next stop is <whatever the next stop was>.
Bimbo tourist (to her bimbo tourist friend): This is an express? So that means... it doesn't make all the stops?

Hahahahah I almost LOLed in the computer lab at this one. That's hilarious.

A conversation my cousin and I had about Gladys Knight and the Pips:

mom: who sings this song?
me: Gladys Knight
cousin: It isn't Gladys, it's (emphasising) GLAAAADVVIS.
me: no it's not, it's GLADYS Knight and the PITS (think armpits)

My mom ended up rolling on the floor laughing

This reminds me of a cute one:

Me: "What is 1+4?"

3yo boy: "Math." :D

My first job was at McDonalds. One of my coworkers shouted to the kitchen "where is my cheeseburger without cheese". The worker back there was like "Mindy it's called a hamburger".

having a conversation with a friend that just got out of a relationship:

me: you can't make someone love you
friend: yah i know i've seen Bruce Almighty

Yep...I think the median income is around 44,000.....

Disclaimer: I teach private school, so I tend to get a few more of these comments than I did when I taught public school.