Recession Proof Dating? Is there such a thing?
 

We all know that the bottom line for some relationships is MONEY.

'What have you done for me lately'

'Ain't nothing going on but the rent'


and so on but we all know hard times is not just around the corner, they are here.....so answer the following if it affects you:

- How has your dating habits changed since the recession kicked in? Do you go out as much as you used to? Do you spend as much as you used to?

- Ladies: How do you deal with a man you may have been dating for a while (6 MONTHS OR MORE) who just recently lost his job due to recession? Has it out a strain on your relationship? What about someone you jusat recently met? Do you also frown upon a man taking you out on a 'cheap date'?

- Men: How do you feel about a first date? Do you still think you should foot the bill for the whole date or do you negotiate? Is this new or something you have always done?

- Are there some activities that you avoid doing or can't do because of money situation?

- How has the economy helped you creatively express your feelings for someone that you have been seeing?
Also, did it affect your Valentine's day and if so how?

The recession really hasn't hit OKC. Real estate prices are still going up, the jobs market is fine. We've lost a few national chains, but that's not our fault.

So no, nothing's changed with me... Except my portfolio. Ouch.

Bruh...that wasn't the question....LOL

Or at least you aren't going in the direction I am trying to you to go in.

But I am guessing what you are saying is as far as your dating habits, you are ok?

This really wouldn't apply to me. At least not yet.

ETA: it did when the gas prices were sky high, but not so much anymore.

Ditto that, one of my friends had to break off with a girl because she lived 40 mins away and she always wanted him to drive there to see her...never met halfway and she refused to drive to him.

I asked him, that now since gas is cheap would he reconsider....LOL

Depending on how they spend their time together as a couple, meeting halfway is fine. If they're staying over each others places for the whole weekend, then I don't see the point. If they were doing the whole weekend thing, then I think it's pretty much about give and take.

And they only lived 40 minutes apart?

All take on her part...no give...LOL

lol

sounds like it. and for only 40 minutes? Sheez.:rolleyes:

They haven't changed, much. I'm a homebody for the most part. No and no.

I prefer 'cheap dates' actually. If I can't have a good time while we're at McDonalds, I surely would not have fun with you at Ruth Chris.

Ditto.

ETA: Yuck to McDonalds, but I see your point, and agree.

I believe Kevin's married, so I don't think he would be in your target demographic, so to speak, for this thread.

I'm married as well, so I can't answer the questions personally, but from talking to my friends it doesn't sound like things are terribly different. A few couples (mostly in the financial and legal industries) have put off taking trips this coming summer or have cut back on expensive nights out, and are re-routing the money to their savings accounts in case their jobs are cut.

cool...and my fault to not include you all, because I am sure married couples have had to change some of their habits when it comes to going out.

All take..no give.:p

We're not married but live-in and I definitely don't go out as much. We probably go to as many movies but we don't go to bars with friends anymore because we can't justify spending 10 bucks on a cover and 9 bucks per beer.

We'd probably go back to the casino, though. We had a lot of fun and both of us are pretty good at stopping when we're up or when we've lost how much we promised we would stop at.

well...shoot, married people don't date....LOL

Yes they do. Because a couple gets married, doesn't mean the dating (each other) should stop.:);)

Good one..

Now umm....aren't you supposed to be studying?

hehehehehe

I still have 20 minutes before my 11:00 starts.:p

I'll tell ya one thing, there's nothing I hate more than double dating with a married couple.

All they want to talk about is how they dated before they got married. And how similar it is to how we're dating. Seriously, if I wanted a romantic history, I would ask for one.

Of course it always makes me think "Is this how it's going to be when we get married???"

But the WORST is when they have kids. I love kids, but I don't want to talk about junior all night. There's just no way to transition politely out of the baby talk.

lol this is funny. And it's always the married couples who haven't been married that long. They're married for like 2-3 years and they talk you like they've been married for 25...:rolleyes:

lol at the junior comment.

o.k. Daemon, now I'm going to class.:)

I hope that by the time live-in and I get married we'll have been living together for so long that we can quickly transition out of the newlywed phase because I have a feeling behaving like some of our newlywed couple friends would make me barf on a daily basis.

OMG did I just use barf in 2009? RIGHT ON!

Take that to the Back in the Day thread....LOL

I'm married, but we still go out quite a bit. As far as cutting back, God.. lately, no.

You've got to start hanging out with different married couples. We're not all that bad, I swear, haha.

As for the question - I don't think my wife and I have really cut back, although, with me in law school, we were never exactly throwing money around anyway.

Maybe I do. I suppose if live-in and I are leaving both thinking "I never want to act like them" we need to stop hanging out with them, lol.

Probably even worse than giving us their whole dating history is giving us their whole dating history when one of us was THERE for it. "Oh you mean you had a fight during your senior year of college? Yeah you know your wife wanted to break up with you so she slept with another guy after that fight?" I would never say that but MAN I wish I could without getting slapped.

Or "we don't feel like we've changed since getting married." ("Yes, yes you have. Now you're really annoying.") "So when are you guys going to take the plunge?" (Never if we end up like you assholes.")

Wow... I never realized I had so much animosity toward my married friends.

Geez - GreekChat is going to ruin all my friendships because I realize I can't stand them!

Im not a fan of their food anymore either! I think I officially just grew up. :(

Rule of dating: whoever asks, pays. Still applies for long term daters.

what if, 7 or 8 months in, he lost his job....?

You know what...if this recession is as deep as some people claim, then the women who always fuss and complain about not being able to find 'a good man' are gonna find themselves a bit shorter. Then what....he's good for a lot of things but he is out of work...what do you do?...hehehe

knows he trying to stir up some shyte!!

Hopefully, one isn't dating someone because of their JOB.

I can have a good time on the dollar menu or $5 foot longs, but that is me.

quit trying to stir up shyte!!

LOL


and not everyone is you, m' sweet !!!

and no...you know how I roll

My boyfriend and I had been dating for about 4 months when he lost his job. (We've known each other for 20 years and had dated for 5 months a little over a year ago, but that's a story for another day.) For a while we didn't go out. At all. We would cook dinner at one of our homes, but that was it. He became pretty depressed for a few weeks, so leaving the house just didn't happen. After a few weeks we started doing things like going to the park on warmer days (here in Tennessee it gets up to 70 one day in January, then the next is 35 degrees.) I finally just said, "Look, you've spent lots of money on me over the past few years, you need to let me do some nice things for you too. I need for us to go out some." So he's finally started letting me pick up the check sometimes whether it's dinner, going to a movie, or going to see a show. We don't go out much at all because he still feels strongly that he should be picking up the bill, but we go out as often as we can without him feeling like he's "doing his job to take care of me." (His words.) I figure, I'm not dating him because I want someone to spend money on me. I'm dating him first because I liked him, then because I'm in love with the guy and want to spend time with him, and now because we care deeply for each other and see a future together.

We're talking about getting married, and the way I see it at this point we're not just dating for the heck of it, so we can practice taking care of each other now. I appreciate it when he spends money on me, but it's not necessary and I think it's only fair that he allows me to do nice things for him as well.

Some back story - I spent a couple of years looking for a full time job and juggling three part time jobs. I still was barely able to make ends meet. During this time, he took me out all the time, cooked for me, etc. There are no tabs kept, and I don't feel like I have to "repay" him, but I do think that it's unfair for a man to have to dish out all the money after you've established that you're heading for marriage, and I think it's selfish for women to expect them to when the man is experiencing financial hardship.

That is a realistic story and I appreciate it very much.

That 'male pride' thing sometimes really gets in the way of us men having a good relationship.

He is really thankful for having an understanding person how doesn't mind picking up some of the load and sharing.

Trust me, every year of marriage feels like at least a decade...

I don't notice a major difference. I mean, if you invite someone to something, you should pay. I've gone on more dates so far this year than last, but that was based more on what I wanted to do than the economy.

I feel like such a horrible person for hating all my married friends now.

I don't hate them. I just don't like going out with them.

The only married couple I like hanging out with is my brother and his wife. And mostly because they're pretty much the same as they were before getting married. They're having a baby this summer. I wonder if I'll like talking about my niece or nephew more than I like talking about other people's kids. I have a feeling I will.

I do. :)

I can't imagine that I'll love my own children as much as I love my niece and nephew, but everyone says I will.

DS, you do date your spouse when you marry... That is what keeps it exciting...

I lost my job in late 2008. It impacted our relationship severely. Now I am retooling and redirecting my efforts to a new kind of career dependent on me, my successes and my failures.

My husband has stepped up. I am not trying to go to the mall and buy the latest fashions. I am not about running up major credit card bills in the $5K range+. That is not my M.O. And I could take on a position, but I really would dislike it and I would have to relocate to another city...

Creative dating methods could include developing a "career portfolio" for the desired career. Dressing the role, while not buying... In fact some places when they see you trying to improve your situation might help--like suit rental. A one page business plan development. Speed interviewing, like speed dating, but for an interview... If there is emotional issues, if it is a man, he needs assistance--such as a coach to be motivated and become accountable...

That is if you want to follow all the laws... :rolleyes:

Ouch.

*is now scared to get married*

lol