Good Recruitment Icebreaking Questions
 

You can always discuss anything pop culture...tv, books, movies. The problem is that no matter what you talk about, you have to be careful not to sound too stiff. A conversation about majors, etc that is natural is actually not a bad conversation, but you have to learn to naturally segue from one topic to the next.

Hey, I actually love recruitment conversation so hopefully this helps. I found that the best way to go about it is ask one "boring" open-ended question and then use that to spring to something else. For example, come in with a question in mind ("What's your major?") and then prepare different "tangents", so to speak, depending on whether her answer is a major identical to yours and if it is completely different.

Think of those questions as conversation starters...she's been getting questions like that all during recruitment, and what will make you (and ultimately your house) stand out is if you can skillfully take that initial question into a conversation about similar interests or experiences. Focus more on asking the question to get to a conversation rather than just listening to her answer and moving on.

OK, I just thought of my favorite icebreaker that has led to me forming (and pledigng) some of my biggest rush crushes, but you kind of have to be fashion obsessed (or at least fashion literate) to pull it off.

Comment on some part of her outfit that you sincerely like in a cute/sincere way that doesn't make it look staged. Let's say that she is wearing an adorable charm necklace. You can say, "So nice to meet you Patty PNM! OK, first things first, I am in love with that necklace haha, I spotted it from across the room. Is it vintage?"

If she says, "Yes", you can be like, "I am obsessed with vintage clothing, there is the cutest vintage store a block away from here, STORE NAME, do you ever go there?" If she says, "No, I got it at XYZ," you can say, "Wow, it's adorable and looks so vintage. I am obsessed with vintage clothing...well, just fashion in general. What type of look do you usually go for?"

This obviously only works if it's apparent she put time into her outfit, but from experience if the girl has put some time into her clothes, chances are she at least likes clothes enough to talk about them for a second or two. Maybe that's just the more "high maintenance PNMs" that I get paired with haha, but it definitely works if the girl is right. If it's clear she's more of a tomboy then don't go for it, but it works wonders with the majority of women I've met in recruitment...who doesn't like talking about clothes for a little?

As has been mentioned, open-ended questions are always a good thing. For example, you ask her, "where are you from?" It's basic enough, but when she gives you an answer, you can take it to another level...

If she lives close by: "Oh, that's close. Have you traveled anywhere else farther away?"
If she lives far away: "What made you come to school all the way out here?"

Or when you ask about her major, if it's completely different than yours, a very easy way to open up conversation is to follow her answer by saying, "What made you decide on that?"

Another good way to go if you run out of things to say... talk about recruitment and/or sororities, without bragging about all the great stuff you do (because while winning Greek Week and getting the highest philanthropy award at convention might mean a lot to you, it means very little to a PNM). For example:
- What made you decide to go through recruitment?
- What do you like about recruitment thus far?
- Do you have any questions about sorority life?

In recruitment workshops, we were always told not to ask PNMs "Any questions?" just because recruitment is such a nerve-wrecking situation that they most likely will go blank and not know what to ask, and they probably have a million questions.

I can agree with you on "what made you decide to go through recruitment?" That's a good question to ask because I found that you can learn alot about a PNM by asking that.

Good point.

I think that where I am, very few PNMs know much of anything about Greek life, so when I ask this, they'll usually ask me 10 different questions.

But when I do ask it, I generally give them "options" to choose from. Example: “Do you have any questions about sorority life? Scholarship opportunities, philanthropies, the time commitment...?” Usually something will hit them, and they’ll have a question to ask.

I also had one girl last semester who asked me about hazing. She felt bad asking about it, as she said she didn’t want to imply that we did it. But she was generally concerned. I said, “That’s a legitimate concern, one that I used to have at one point, but I can assure you that I wouldn’t have joined if I was hazed. Has anyone explained our new member program to you?” From there, we talked for 20 minutes, and the questions just poured out of her.

Another good option is to have numerous “visual aids.” Even though we don’t have a house, we make sure that we have as many paddles, t-shirts, mascots, awards, pictures, etc. there at our recruitment events. If you’re talking about why she’s participating in recruitment, and she brings up the fact that she's worked on many philanthropic projects, you can ask, “Can I show you some of the philanthropic activities we participate in?” We would then bring the PNM over to the table of stuff, and go through things with them. A scrapbook is always a good item to have. It can show PNMs a whole semester worth of stuff through pictures. It’s easier for you to talk when you have something to look at, and most likely she’ll have questions.

I'm an alum. Last year during recruitment I was serving drinks. One of the actives brought over a PNM and when I was handing her the drink, I said, "Great shoes!". I'm sure there could have been some kind of recruitment infraction, but it started a different conversation between the PNM and the active on shoes.

Also, I agree about complimenting someone on jewelry. If they are wearing a cute necklace, pin or earrings, mention something about it. It's easy and it's natural.

Assuming that your recruitment is coming up, "Did you do anything exciting over winter break"? or "My sister and I were just talking about movies, did you see any good ones over the winter break"? or "We were just talking about the basket ball game State University won last week. Did you get a chance to go"? Hopefully, you will get more than a yes or no answer.

What you are looking for is a connection.

One of my cousins said that she distinctly remembered her opening conversation at the house she ultimately joined. It was beastly hot, as it can be in August. When my cousin was ushered in, the active said to her, "you know, (sister name here) and I were just talking, and we were saying how great it would be if we could set up snowball fights during recruitment!" The conversation was off and running and then eventually they got to major, where she was from, etc...

As a collegiate, I always wanted to hear about a PNMs friends from back home. This can then lead into what to expect from a sister and from the chapter's perspective, how this PNM might interact with others in the organization. As recruitment progresses, the rusher can then try to explain how their organization can provide that same friendship.

It also works for family members but is usually more touchy to talk about family members because you can choose your friends but not your family. ;)

Thanks for the great ideas! Only a few days left until recruitment starts! I'm so nervous/excited!
I like the idea about family and friends. I don't think anyone asked me about that when I went through a year ago. (actually, I barely remember my coversations at any organization!)

we have an icebreaker activity... i dont know what to call it but its really fun.

everyone stands in a circle and each girl one at a time takes one step into the circle and says "i like girls who ______." and if you agree with her, or you do what she likes, you step in the circle. the the next girl goes.

"i like girls who like sex and the city". if you like sex and the city you take a step in the circle... its fun and its a great way to see what girls are interested in.

good topic for this time of year!

I think a good tip (that's obviously not sorority specific) is to do as little talking yourself as possible.

People like to talk about themselves, it's a fact, and if you let the PNM do most of the talking you put all of the choice in your hands. For example, if you talk a lot the PNM gets to decide whether they like you (and by extension, your chapter), but if you steer the conversation but let them do most of the talking you get to decide whether or not you like them. They will automatically have a good time and a positive opinion of your chapter because they were talking about their favorite subject - themselves!

I hate the "hi my name is ____ and i'm a blah major". Those get so boring at dinners. I love the scavenger hunt ice breaker. You have to find a girl from your town or who has your same Steven Madden shoes on. That way if we can see who we have in common and when we invite them back we can say things like how we can't wait to go shopping at Coach with them etc.

this would work great for a cor event!

For some reason, talking to perfect strangers comes very easily for me. I didn't realize how easily until I was helping form a colony, and one of my chapter sisters said, "Honey always was our best rusher!" I think it surprised me more than anyone else!

Anyhow, the thing to remember when meeting someone for the first time: You all do the same thing when you wake up in the morning - even the Queen of England! A PNM is probably a gazillion times more scared than you, just don't get cocky about it.

Another rule of thumb: If you smile when you talk, your voice automatically takes a pleasant tone. I try to remember to do this at work every day.

-If she reminds you of someone, mention it in a funny way: "You don't take that horrible Rocks for Jocks class, do you?" or the standard, "I think I know your evil twin" but tweak it. "I think I know your evil twin... unless you'd rather be the evil one!" This can segue nicely into soap operas or movies.

-As said before, if she's wearing something that shows effort, mention it. "Wow - I love that pin! Where on earth did you find that?" then spin off to funky little shops or Tiffany's or whatever.

-Always know your sisters WELL! If someone says she's from Tiny Town, and one of your sisters is, too, for heaven's sake, say, "Oh, do you know Suzie Sister? She's also from Tiny Town." Or, you can say, "What is that near? Maybe we're neighbors!"

-If the PNM has a "famous" last name, ask about it. One of the PNMs for the colony had the same last name as a major distributor locally. I asked her, and sure enough, that was her dad. And he owned a soccer team. And she had a crush on one of the office people I knew. Etc, etc.

-During the last of a given day's parties, it's always a given that you can say, "These long days must be killing you!" or "Between you and me, I can't wait to get my shoes off!" but in a conspiratory way, not negative. Of course her feet hurt, and she's emotionally exhausted - she'll be thrilled that you recognize this.

-NEVER say "Where are you going next?" You don't know if she has anymore parties to attend or not.

-What dorm she lives in, what does she think of her professors, the mandatory textbooks - all of these are much better than, "What's your major?"

Practice, practice, practice! Do it in front of a mirror, with other sisters, your family. You want to have this down so pat that you will NOT sound (or in reality, be) phony. You will become a sparklingly conversationalist in no time flat.

Now, there are PNMs who are going to read this and say, "What a crock! I knew they were phonies!" But! Think of it as an opportunity to learn how to "make friends and influence people" to quote Dale Carnegie. One of my sisters was constantly put in charge of the social aspect of one of her adult life. Someone asked her how she was able to put people at ease so quickly, and she responded, "I was in a sorority!" That, dear PNMs, is what sisters who are recruiting for the first time are trying to learn, too - how to put you at ease.

Practice, practice, practice! Do it in front of a mirror, with other sisters, your family. You want to have this down so pat that you will NOT sound (or in reality, be) phony. You will become a sparklingly conversationalist in no time flat.honeychile

yes-practice!! you can also practice when you are out and about. try to engage the cashier at the grocery store/target, etc., the barrista at starbucks, your waiter/waitress in a brief conversation. everyone is fair game.

Me too. I can have a perfectly lively conversation with drywall. Which is fortunate, because I got a TON of semi-mute girls last year.

One thing I've found that can be a great conversation starter is asking the PNM why she wants to go greek, or what it is that she's looking for in a house. This opens the door for talking about involvement, sisterhood, etc. And for the girls that answer "Because omg I just love frat parties. I've already made out with 31 boys in ABC, aren't they just the hottest?" well, at least you know now :rolleyes:

From a PNM's perspective: What if someone DOES ask "Any questions?"
Yes, I do have questions. I have a lot of them! However, any time someone asks that no matter the situation, my mind blanks and I respond "No, I don't believe I have any." Then I step outside and a million questions flood my mind.

When a sorority member asks if you have any questions, does she mean about the sorority, about recruitment in general, about something else entirely? Are there any ways to avoid a brainsplode?

I always fell back on travel, because honestly, who doesn't travel at all and doesn't plan to? "Are you planning to study abroad?" or "if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?" are pretty tough to answer in one word and always worked for me.

If a sorority member asks a PNM "any questions?", she is not a gifted conversationalist and is looking for help. Ask about her favorite date party theme or if she has any funny stories about sisterhood. You can always ask "what is it like living in the house?" or "since there isn't a house, do sisters live together often?" Try to make the focus on community and sisterhood rather than philanthropy or recruitment, because you will probably both be sick of talking about this by the second or third party.

Sometimes it is good to ask if a PNM has any questions, because they do often have questions not normally addressed in small talk (housing, dues, social calender, etc).

On Philanthropy day, someone asked me 'if your phone rang right now, who would you want to be on the other end?' I used the same question when I was on the other side of recruitment and it was a great conversation starter. Girls usually said their boyfriend, or best friend, or mom, but it gave me a better idea of their relationships and what was important in their lives.

Pirouett - I love your quote!!

I have to agree with many of you, the best thing I've used is taking a part of her outfit and telling her why I loved it. They usually spill into a great conversation - so be genuinely interested.

I ended up having my best Recruitment conversation from this – all about the PNM & I’s love of eBay!

Some questions I've used are:

Where is the furthest that you have traveled? What have you spent your past few summers doing? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Where did they go to school? Has anyone else in your family attended this university? What are some of your favorite books? Movies? TV shows? Do you have a significant other? How did you meet them? What kind of activities are you looking to get involved in here at school? Is anyone in your family Greek? What did you think you were going to be when you grew up?

Basically, I have a list of topics in my head that I can make questions about and then I return to my internal list when the topic starts to run dry. Some tips I have for recruitment are:

Listen to the PNM's ENTIRE reply. Yes it is important that you keep the conversation going, but let them breathe and think for a second! I definitely struggled with this as a first timer in recruitment, I was so nervous that there would be an awkward silence that I cut some PNMs off! Not a great way to make a first impression. Besides, both of you are likely tired, overwhelmed, and really nervous so if you can make the conversation more laid back (although interesting), it could make the PNM more comfortable and allow them to think of your chapter as one they felt comfortable in.

Also try to think of questions that really get at the heart of the issue-- would this PNM make a good sister or not? Some good questions that I've thought of (some of which have been mentioned already) are why are you going through recruitment, what do you hope to get out of a sorority, what are you looking forward to the most if you do join a sorority, what is your family like, do you have a significant other, how did you meet them, what are they like, do you have any good friends from home, how did you meet them, how long have you been friends with them, do you have a job, have you ever had a job, what was your most memorable job, how did you find out about it, what kind of activities were you involved in in high school/are involved in in college, did you spend a lot of time with those, what is your favorite brand of makeup/hair stuff/clothing, do you usually pay for things yourself or do your parents, etc.

Some of these may sound odd at first (especially the last one), but I've though about them and most of them reveal how the PNM is is various aspects of her life-- how she acts in a family, with her friends, with her significant other, does she work, how committed she is to her involvements, does she save money, etc. All of these are part of what makes a good sister. At least I think. I hope to try these out for formal fall recruitment and hopefully it goes well. I am already excited to see my sisters again and meet my future sisters. =)

I would stay away from this question. It was asked of me when I was a PNM, and PNMs asked me when they were going through, and every time it made me really uncomfortable. Even if you think you know the answer and are planning to use it as a conversation starter, don't. Personal anecdote to explain why:

My first year as an active, a bunch of my friends were all dating guys in the same fraternity. One of the PNMs we loved was dating a guy in the same fraternity. When rush rolled around, the girl who was rushing her says, "Oh, I hear you're dating [name redacted]" planning to use it as "Some of my sisters know his friends" or something. It was a little iffy at best, but unfortunately, over break the PNM and her boyfriend had broken up. It quickly became VERY awkward.

(It worked out okay, she was at our house on Bid Day!)