Would my last name blackball me?
 

consider this post deleted. I had no idea such a response would be prompted. I am simply putting to rest something that I have heard...and I thought this would be a reliable source to ask. However, instead, I am ridiculed. So nevermind. Thank you for all of the patient responses.

It is difficult here for me to take you seriously... and I am really trying not to answer you in a manner which might be upsetting.

But the fact that you would even ask a question like this makes me question your intentions here. Searching through your posts, I see a very inarticulate person, who I have a hard time believing is a junior at an SEC school, who is trying to elicit admissions from members here about the sort of discrimination which occurs in the selection process.

I could be completely wrong about you, and I apologize in advance if I am.

And for what it's worth, if you pull this odd, overinquisitive stuff during recruitment, you're going to be discriminated against, not because of your age or your ethnicity, but because you're acting like a social leper.

The sort of people these organizations target are the sorts of people who know what it means when they are told to dress 'business casual' or to wear something that's in good taste. I'm not sure what sort of upbringing you've had, but this stuff isn't exactly rocket science.

QFP

and in response... SERIOUSLY???

The Dekes blackballed me because of my last name. :(

Ummm, based on what you've written, if they would discriminate like that, you wouldn't have to worry about being a part of it.

I have a traditionally jewish last name. I am not jewish either. I don't believe I was ever discriminated against going through recruitment. Even if I was cut because of it, I wouldn't have wanted to join that house anyway.

You may have faced discrimination about 40 years ago, but many, many parts of the greek experience have changed in those 40 years.

Including blackballing. AFAIK, inter/national fraternities & sororities rarely use the archaic blackball method anymore.

I am not talking about you or the other people that gave me patient responses. The reason is 20 years ago my aunt rushed at the same school that I am in the spring, and was only considered by a Jewish sorority. And...the moderator most certainly did ridicule me. A ?social leper? in my book that is not support, that is ridicule, and really I don't appreciate it. If you are no longer giving advice to prospects/ or answering questions thats fine, but when a question arises and it is answered in such a demeaning way...that is not ok. I am most definitely not talking about the people who gave me answers that are helpful and I will take your advice whole heartedly.

That unfortunately did happen sometimes, 20, 30, 40 years ago. It's not something that happens now, just because those last names aren't considered exclusively Jewish anymore as they were in the past.

Thank you. I hope this can be put to bed. I did not want this to turn into what it became. It really made me sick to my stomach when I read his post. I know what business casual is. My University has not yet released dress code for informal Spring rush. I was brought up just fine, and just because I asked a question does not mean that I am inarticulate in any way. Wow, It's sad that I come to get help and I regret it. I hope that prospective members in the future do not get treated that way, it's a turn off.

Well thank you for clearing that up. My Aunt's story prompted the question. I just found his response unnecessary, that's all. It hurt my feelings, and insulted me quite a bit. You have been great, however.

He didn't call you a social leper.

He said that if you ask random questions like this during recruitment...like, with the girls in the room, you will look like a social leper to them.

I understand that, thank you for clarifying for him. However the last bit about how I was raised...well, you can't argue for him in that respect. It was disrespectful. I am not going to argue who is in the right and who is in the wrong, my simple question turned into him publicly saying that I am soliciting this community, when there are tons of girls on here doing the same thing. I'm done talking about it and I got my answer from people who are less rude, and more patient so it doesn't matter. You can't tell me that was a polite post on his part. Because well, it wasn't. It doesn't matter anyway, like I said, I got my answer and I thank you all.

OMGWTFBBQ

BBQ huh. I am done with this. If a simple question will be turned into harassment. :) well...I'm done.

YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY NOT DONE BECAUSE YOU KEEP RESPONDING.

Look, I know my post and thread are going to likely disappear because anything that's not seen as holding a PNM's hand inevitably is seen as harassment, but I'm going to say it.

You're asking stupid questions and you're being ridiculously sensitive.

Kevin (who I could take or leave on a good day) REALLY did not disrespect you. You are acting like you don't have any common sense or any friends to ask these ridiculous questions of.

I mean, you admit yourself that you got information from non-Greeks.

So AGAYNE I say:

OMG

WTF?

BBQ!

Are you serious? Please be done, and leave, before you see "harrassment." Really, don't go on a message board and ask an absolutely ABSURD question if you can't handle a response that's a little critical.

I got everything but the BBQ... what does that mean?

Not to stir the pot some more, but I do know of some schools where a Jewish last name would prompt some groups to assume a PNM will go to a certain sorority. I am not saying the OP needs to start freaking out, but depending on her school, it's a legitimate question.

You may be way too sensitive to go through life, let alone go through sorority recruitment.

With all the responses you received that answered your question, you are going to hang on to his response and change your (already quoted) post because of his reponse? Seriously, you're that easily knocked off kilter?

Newbies usually only rant like you are when the majority of the posters in a thread respond as Kevin did.

Barbecue. I had some turkey BBQ for Thanksgiving. It was splendid.

Anything's possible with these hypotheticals. That reinforces how some PNM questions are best left for real life observations and interactions and can't be answered by message boarders.

I suppose no one remembers when they were a newbie, and had reasonable questions based on what recruitment used to be like.

Last name a problem?
 

My take on it - unless she is planning on changing her last name, there is nothing she can do about THAT. I still think that the odds are very high that it will not make a bit of difference to most, if not all, the sororities on her campus. She should focus on what she CAN do something about - namely recommendations, preparing for recruitment conversations, etc.

Better a critical response here than a lack of one, sending you on your merry way to completely embarrass yourself during recruitment.

GC has been around 9 years. If you're [referring to OP] the first person to ask a question about recruitment, then it probably doesn't need to be asked.

I have no clue what the OP is like in real life. She could be the warm, attractive, socially adept, etc. That, however, is not the way she's presenting herself here.

This isn't disrespect, it's help. If these comments hit a little too close to home, then I think we may have identified some areas where she needs to improve herself.

I just want to know what her last name is. . .

Will your last name blackball you? No.

Will your attitude (as evidenced in this thread)? Yes.

'nuff said.

As the mother of a daughter your age, and as a Jewish woman (without a "Jewish" last name) who went through rush at a time when Jews only were invited to a "Jewish" house I will try and answer your question.

If you a so inclined to exclude a house simply because it is historically Jewish (or mostly Jewish) wear a cross. I imagine that the sisters at that house (or houses) would get your message very quickly. If a house excludes you because of your name (at least in your mind) then you must ask yourself if that is a house that you want. If the answer is, Yes, I want to be part of a house (if they still exist) that would exclude my mother or grandmother because of their religion or suspicion of a religious affiliation...why? You will always be watched for "signs" of being Jewish. And that isn't sisterhood.

No, it's totally ok. Because you're an idiot. We should take bets on how soon after your rush you start posting questions about how to start a colony.

Ellebud, thank you for adding your opinion to this thread. Your perspective is so important to this woman's genuine concern regarding discrimination. You are able to relate to the experience of sorority recruitment as it relates to Jewish (or possibly-Jewish) women and Jewish (or not exclusively Jewish) sororities. It probably helped her, and if it didn't, it will help other prospective sorority members who will have the same question in the future. Mothers, aunts, grandmothers will continue to share their sorority stories for years to come, and the biases of yesteryear will be the fears of tomorrow's prospective sorority members.

Wouldn't it be nice of the responses to this OP were stories of what it is or was like on different campuses? For example, if you are a current sorority member, which religion is most largely represented in your chapter? What is the "norm" on your campus?

Lovelyinpearlss, thank you for coming to GreekChat to openly express your concern. If you can practice ignoring the posts that offend you, and focusing on the helpful posts, you will find an absolute wealth of resources here. There are countless intelligent, articulate, well-mannered members who can give you good advice. Good luck with sorority recruitment!

I would imagine you have that concern because either: a) you're going to a very big, traditional and/or Southern school where that kind of shit still matters or b) the people who told you that are complete idiots.

The Deephers and PhiSigs on my campus aren't very Jewish, if at all. (DPhiE started off as a Jewish sorority and PhiSig was founded by Jewish girls as a non-sectarian sorority). There are more Jewish girls in another group than either of those two.

Anyway, my point is that nowadays in most places it doesn't really matter what religion you may, or may not, belong to. At least not to the point of you getting blackballed because of your last name.

ETA:
Nevermind. That solves it all.

If a group cuts you because they think you're Jewish, they're obviously a bunch of snobby bigoted bitches.

However, if that group of snobby bigoted bitches is where you want to be, do as ellebud said and wear a cross.

That was way out of line.


OP: While I see why some people think this is a silly question, I have to say that considering your aunt WAS discriminated against for this very reason, I understand exactly why you are asking. All we can say is that no, you will probably not be dropped because of your name - very few, if any, campuses follow those procedures any more.

And we know that how?

Membership selection is secret. For all we know, the aunt could have been a douchebag.

Membership selection criteria have probably changed somewhat over the last 2-3 decades. Even if the story is true, it's pretty easily dismissible.

:rolleyes: Passive aggressive.

Actually, passive spamming for her stupid blog.

LOL....