Questions and Concerns
 

Hello Everyone,

I am a freshman attending the first HBCU. I know that I cannot become eligible for intake process until my sophmore year but I am very interested in a certain sorority and have been doing research to try and learn alot more about my choice. There are no greeks in my family so I am really unsure how to aproach a member of the sorority that I have taken interest in. My question to anybody who can answer it is what do I say to express my interest without really expressing my interest to them. I know that you are not directly supposed to tell a a greek that your a interested in their organization.

Why not?

Yeah I have the same question to, why aren't you allowed to say your interested in a specific organization ? If you do I hear its disrespectful

I am not really sure I've heard it at some forms at my school during my transition week.

Like I tell everyone.... befriend members....the rest will come.

Alot of the members in the chapter are seniors and juniors I just dont want them to look at me like just another freshman. The chapter was suspended and just got reinstalled last year. I know most of the basic history that I should and even some chapter history. I am just unsure how to approach without making my self look weird or saying the wrong thing. I know that I would start off with hi my name is ..... but then do I follow it up with "What steps do I need to take in order to be a member of your organization? I know all of the school requirements and even the ones from the chapter too so what do I really say. I just dont want to make my self look silly.

I don't know what else can be said. If you can't make friends with strangers, then sorority life won't be for you.

Making friends is not a problem by far I am one of the most outgoing peole that you will ever meet. I guess I will just have to go on insinct. I just thought that some one would be able to give me some direct help which is why I came to the form. I know that you guys cannot say but so much but I only asked a general question. But thanks for your advice.

The word is FORUM. Whew! Now that that's out of the way...

You ask a "general question," yet you want "direct help." The advice that you were given is sound: BEFRIEND MEMBERS. There is no other way to put it.

"Befriending members" means becoming their friend. There is nothing else to it. Forget about the organization and the fact that you'd like to join. Just introduce yourself like you would any other person, and talk to them like you would any other person. If they're friends with you, they'll want you to join their organization. You could say, "i want to be a part of your sorority," you could throw all the facts in the world at them, but it won't mean anything if they don't like you.

So once again... BEFRIEND MEMBERS

Y'know, I didn't know about GC until I'd already been an active for several years. Looking back, without the intertubes, I wonder how I managed to get a bid at all. *rolleyes*

thanks alot for the help everyone I hope everything goes smooth

I would equate the "befriending" advice with the process you go through whenever you join any type of group -organized or unorganized.

Step one - meet someone; strike up a conversation; find common interests, likes, dislikes; laugh, smile, chat.

Step two - invite or be invited to a movie, study session,football game. "Hey, Mary, are you going to the pep rally? Why don't you come with me and the other girls on my dorm floor?"

Step three - you begin hanging out on a fairly regular basis. If you had a party, you would definitely invite Mary. Soon, you consider Mary in your "group" of friends and she considers you in hers.

Step four - You are invited to join her group.



Just let the friendship evolve without any other influences or pressures. Be a friend, with no strings attached, and you will make one.

Are there specific reasons why you're interested in that particular sorority? For example, does their philanthropy mean a lot to you? What I would do to befriend the women is attend their events/fundraisers, and just show them that you're interested. Of course, introduce yourself and try to talk to them. Just be friendly, and if you're outgoing you should be fine.

How do you know this is the group for you?
 

Just wondering how you know you you want to belong to this specific group? If you don't know any one in the group how do you know it would be a good fit? It is always dangerous to go into a recruitment situation with a narrow mind. That brings dissapointment a lot. I would get to know lots or girls in different groups then go through recruitment and keep an open mind. Good luck

HBCUs don't have "recruitment." You give good advice for NPC sororities, but in this case, it doesn't apply. Sorry.

NPHC recruitment is to NPC recruitment as apples are to hippos.

Your advice is the opposite of what she should do to attain membership in an NPHC group.

I know that I want to belong to the group that I am interested in because of the programs that the sorority is involved in. Alot of the programs that the do or plan on doing cater to how I was before and the woman that I plan on becoming. Just some information about me during my tenure in high school I was not the best student I graduated by the skin of my teeth. With hope and a dream I knew that i would not be like the women in my family and that I would be the first to attend college. I applied to Fifteen schools and got accepted into ten leaving five schools that denied me. If it wasnt for a program at my high school to help me called AVID, a program that helps students with the willingness and determintion to succed I would have not been given a chance. The sorority that I would like to join has a program simular to this that not only helps high school students but students no matter what grade level. I just finished my first semster of my freshman year with a 3.24. This program I dont want to say the name and many others are a determing factor as to why I want to become a member of XYZ. As far as knowing the girls since the first post I have joined some clubs and have always been going to the fourms and things that they have in order to get my face known and I am using everyones adivce that they have given me.

ok so what should I be doing I have been talking to people and dont know what other way to go about it.

I know that I want to belong to the group that I am interested in because of the programs that the sorority is involved in. Alot of the programs that the do or plan on doing cater to how I was before and the woman that I plan on becoming. Just some information about me during my tenure in high school I was not the best student I graduated by the skin of my teeth. With hope and a dream I knew that i would not be like the women in my family and that I would be the first to attend college. I applied to Fifteen schools and got accepted into ten leaving five schools that denied me. If it wasnt for a program at my high school to help me called AVID, a program that helps students with the willingness and determintion to succed I would have not been given a chance. The sorority that I would like to join has a program simular to this that not only helps high school students but students no matter what grade level. I just finished my first semster of my freshman year with a 3.24. Since I have graduated and owe alot to the AVID program at my high school I am starting a scholorship at my former high school its only a small amount this year which is 250 i use my allowance that my mom gives me insted of spending it on my self. This program I dont want to say the name and many others are a determing factor as to why I want to become a member of XYZ. As far as knowing the girls since the first post I have joined some clubs and have always been going to the fourms and things that they have in order to get my face known and I am using everyones adivce that they have given me.

O.K., first of all, Sen I was right, befriending people is good and members of that sorority is cool. However, just being yourself is one of the best ways to go about it. Being in someones face from that sorority will NOT get you in! It will only lead you to being sorrowfully disappointed when it comes time for decisions to be made about who is going to be on that line and who isn't.
Being able to maintain your grades and keeping yourself focused on what it is that you want from yourself and within your life helps to show various sorority members on campus that you are able to deal with life and deal with the pressures that are thrown at you.
Believe it or not, many people are looking at you and may have been for years as a potential member for the organization. Thing is, you may never have known it because you're not supposed to. People get to know you on campus as to how you and your activities have been on campus. This is something that I know.
And no, going up to a sorority sister and saying, "Hi, my name is Alexandria and I want to join DFG" is not the way to go about it at an HBCU in fact for the next four years, you will probably be DENIED access to that campus' membership for ANY of the organizations present.
You also say, "ok so what should I be doing I have been talking to people and dont know what other way to go about it. " My question is who HAVE you been talking to? Your friends, roomies, sorority members, advisors? Who have you been talking to and what were you trying to find out? What you may WANT to know, from members, you WON'T ever find out and you'll probably have locked yourself out of membership for the next four years there. However, you have to make sure that you want to be a part of that organization for a reason. Look at what is it about the sorority that attracts itself to you that makes you believe that you would be a good member for it.

Since this thread was resurrected:

Not necessarily. There are many great women in the world but not all of them will be Deltas. :)

A lot of people get their hopes up and feelings hurt assuming that being someone's friend means the GLO world is their oyster. I know people who have hung with BGLO members for yeeeeeeeears and still haven't been accepted into a BGLO.

Befriending (which also means you are making acquaintances, not always friends) is good for basic people skills and for building networks. That's how we did it before websites were the go-to for aspirants (and members) with questions. Message. :)

Actually Doc it can't be said any better than that!:eek:

No sweetie, you were on point. AXOrushadvisor was the one with the bad advice. Keep doing what you're doing. :)