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-   -   Do your parents like your girlfriend or boyfriend? Would you break up if they didn't? (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=100983)

Zephyrus 11-09-2008 05:14 AM

Do your parents like your girlfriend or boyfriend? Would you break up if they didn't?
 
This is my first thread and this isn't a real life thing here. It has happened to me before, but right now I'm single so it's nothing recent. If you're in a relationship, do your parents like your girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife? Would you break up with your girlfriend or boy friend because of it? Has this ever happened to you?

I think I would have to weigh it out. I would want my familiy to accept who I'm with, but if they didn't I would ask why and just watch for those signs if they came about.

sceniczip 11-09-2008 11:54 AM

My parents really like my boyfriend and it makes me really happy. My parents and I are very close so it's important to me that they like whoever I'm dating. However, they are also really good at not letting me know who they like and don't like unless they feel something is really wrong or dangerous, they like me to make my own decisions which is nice. But I can definitely tell that they really like my boyfriend, though my mom didn't at first lol.

agzg 11-09-2008 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sceniczip (Post 1742419)
My parents really like my boyfriend and it makes me really happy. My parents and I are very close so it's important to me that they like whoever I'm dating. However, they are also really good at not letting me know who they like and don't like unless they feel something is really wrong or dangerous, they like me to make my own decisions which is nice. But I can definitely tell that they really like my boyfriend, though my mom didn't at first lol.

They tell me they like all of my boyfriends until it gets to the point where the boyfriend is just a jackass. You can definitely tell, though, that my dad really likes my current boyfriend a lot. He was there for me when my mom died, he's doing really well in life, and my dad was the one who made the suggestion that he and I move in together.

You don't tell your kid to "live in sin" unless you really like the guy!

christiangirl 11-09-2008 06:12 PM

I don't have a bf now, but my parents LOVED my last one to the point where, when I wanted to break up with him, they tried to talk me out of it. It was a sticky situation, but they really cared for him and my family still asks occasionally if I'd consider talking to him again and rekindling our friendship (even though it ended badly, we were friends first).

AGDee 11-09-2008 06:52 PM

My parents never expressed dislike of anybody I dated until after we broke up and then my dad would always say "I never liked that kid anyway". I think it was actually his way of being supportive after a break-up. Either that, or he really wouldn't ever like anybody I dated .. the old "Nobody is good enough for my little girl" mentality.

aephi alum 11-09-2008 07:09 PM

My father took an immediate and intense dislike to my husband. DH was a "heathen" (read: not Catholic), we were having premarital sex (horrors!), and we lived together for a while before we got married.

I married him anyway.

At our wedding, my father refused to do any of the usual father-of-the-bride stuff. He even threatened not to attend at all (I think my mom twisted his arm). Mom walked me down the aisle.

It's my life, not my father's. The decisions I make in life, including my choice of husband, are mine, not his.

SWTXBelle 11-09-2008 07:53 PM

As a parent, I try to find something to like in my girls' boyfriends. I love gypsyboot's beau! They are smart, level-headed girls, and I trust them. Even if I didn't particularly like a boy, I'd keep my mouth shut.

Unless the boy in question were verbally or physically abusing her. Then it's Katy bar the door! (After my grandmother's death I heard about her threatening the HORRIBLY abuse husband of my aunt with a shotgun when he tried to pursue her - go Grandmere!)

OHNOITSJESS 11-09-2008 08:18 PM

my parents hate my boyfriend. or any guy that talks to me for that matter. {yaay for culturally different overprotected only female children.}
They won't even meet him and he is such a gentleman. [It was his idea for me to tell my parents he exists, and to try to get their permission to date him... which failed, but we're still together] But i'm still working him in.... very slowly.
[like molasses on a winter day slow]

LucyKKG 11-09-2008 09:05 PM

My parents haven't met my current boyfriend, but I know they'll love him. I told my grandma all about him and she said "I like him already!" Hahah YES!

I don't think my parents have ever been SUPER opposed to anyone I've dated, but I would take that into consideration if it happened.

KSigkid 11-09-2008 09:15 PM

My parents love my wife. When we were dating, it wouldn't have made a difference either way, and it wouldn't make a difference now. It makes things a lot easier, though...

epchick 11-09-2008 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OHNOITSJESS (Post 1742577)
my parents hate my boyfriend. or any guy that talks to me for that matter. {yaay for culturally different overprotected only female children.}

Sounds like my mom. As much as I love my mom, she is a typical Mexican mother. When I was in HS she told me, "I don't want you dating [insert specific race/ethnicity]. You can have them as friends, but not as a boyfriend."

Well I am partial to dating that specific race/ethnicity that she mentioned. She's met people i've dated, she just didn't know I was dating them. I'm not sure what would happen if I brought home someone I was dating. I guess that is why i'm very hesitant about dating anyone right now (since i'm living at home).

DreamfulSpirit 11-09-2008 10:47 PM

My parents really like my b/f!! They know that he treats me very well, caring, and really sweet to me. February will be 2 years for us. This year, we decided that for my birthday we were gonna go away out of town (especially since my birthday fell on a weekend that he had off). As a surprise, he called and asked my parents permission to fly me out to Phoenix (where I graduated HS, and went to Arizona State for 3 years)! He's the sweetest guy I've ever met and love him very much!

KSUViolet06 11-09-2008 11:12 PM

My parents have usually kept their opinions to themselves when it comes to the people I date. I would like for my parents to love every guy I date, but sometimes they don't. They don't usually tell me though, I find out via my brother or something.

WCsweet<3 11-10-2008 02:14 AM

My parents never expressed dislike until the relationship was over, but I could usually tell. Either way, their opinion didn't matter that much. What did matter was my brother's. If he didn't like the boy, then there would be a dark cloud above me. The current boyfriend I believe is the first or second one he has actually liked. I mean they go out and play pool and get drinks together. This is how I know I am dating a good catch.

PrettyBoy 11-10-2008 02:58 AM

My parents only met 3 of my lady friends.

1st one: When I brought her home, I had to tell her to put on a sweater or something to cover herself up. My parents said she was nice, but not nice for me. They said she was too fast for me. I didn't listen to them and found out the hard way. They were right..she was a hoe. I should have known that by the way she was dressed when I 1st met her.:rolleyes:

2nd one: They both said she was pretty. My mom liked her up until we split, and my dad never liked her from day one. I learned the hard way with that one too.:( Plus, she slept with too many jokers anyway.

3rd and current one: They only met her once so they really haven't formed an opinion about her yet. The only thing they said (so far) was that she's pretty and seems to be more my speed. Slooooooooow.:o

ETA: In my past relationships, I never was good at catching some of the games they played on me. My Dad and my brother on the other hand, who I'm very close to can see the games a mile away.

Taualumna 11-10-2008 08:35 AM

My parents are okay with my bf and think I can do better (they don't feel he's refined enough (he is a little rough with certain things, but I think he'll grow out of it)).

DaemonSeid 11-10-2008 03:19 PM

I didn't read all of the responses before this but if someone said it already...my apologies...


I have always been one of those that believed in not taking someone around my fams until I was comfortable with her.

I do remember a few times there were some women I dated that my mom hated but my grandmother liked....and one good time everybody liked someone but I was not feeling...but truth told, if my parents had a serious problem with someone, I would have a conversation to find out why and see if I see it for myself.

And sometimes, this doesn't just stop at friends this could also be applied to friends and associates too!

ASTalumna06 11-10-2008 03:52 PM

My mom usually doesn’t say anything bad about a boyfriend until after we’ve broken up. I once pointed this out to her and she said, “Like with anything else, if I tell you to run away from it, you’ll probably cling to it.” Very true, as is the case with most people if you tell them to leave the person they're with (even if you know it's for the best!)

But she never disliked them for any major reasons. She'd know when I wasn't completely happy, though, but she'd keep her thoughts to herself. And then she'd make fun of them with me after the fact, saying things like, "What was up with his hair, anyway?" :p

One of my sisters, on the other hand.. her parents completely HATE her husband. They were just married this past summer and they didn't even attend the wedding. Her and her parents have never really been the best of friends, and most of their fighting stemmed from her dating this guy. But I've known him for years, and I've never heard anyone say anything bad about him. He's a really great guy, and perfect for her, and her parents are simply crazy. She actually had to return home to pick up a few things she had in her parents' house this past weekend, and her husband went with her, and her dad said to her, "If that neo-Nazi husband of yours even gets out of the car to help you, I'll call the police." Yea, it makes no sense, and it's ridiculous.

Parents can be weird and/or insane :rolleyes:

Munchkin03 11-10-2008 04:27 PM

My parents have only met one of my boyfriends--that's because I live almost 2,000 miles away. They liked him as my boyfriend, but not as anything more. I didn't understand that then, but as the relationship failed to progress, I saw what they're saying. The funny thing is that I have friends in similar relationships, and I want to tell them to run for the hills! But that's a decision we all have to make for ourselves. :)

Sometimes, parents have a hard time with someone because of their religion/race/social class, and those complaints are effed up. Equally messy are the cases where your parents don't think anyone is "good enough," or they don't want to share you with anyone. But, if your parents don't like your significant other--and this gets important as you approach marriage--because of substance abuse, perceived possessiveness/abusive tendencies, failure to hold a job/provide for themselves, or anything like that, then their concerns are justified.

XOMichelle 11-10-2008 10:43 PM

my parents haven't met my boyfriend, but they like what they have heard so far.

I have a friend whose brother is married to an awful woman who keeps her husband away from my friend's family and is purposefully mean to them. This crazy girl wrote a letter to my friend after what seemed like a friendly first meeting that attacked her and described all sorts of ugly attributes that aren't true. The letter reduced her to tears! The family doesn't know what to do and have had to accept that their son is not a functioning member of her family. Totally sucks!


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