Margretlee, I understand what you've said, although it took me a while to get there. But when I read things like "we'd like to stay in a certain range" and requests for rankings of sororities by cost, along with:

Quote:

Originally Posted by margretlee (Post 1834368) What if she likes one of the highest priced ones. We could come up with it, but do we want to do that with little sisters coming up??

I don't think it is unreasonable for someone to infer that your top concern is the cost, not where she feels most like she belongs. That may not be an accurate inference, but I don't think it is an unreasonable inference. It was how I read your posts at first, anyway,

All I'm saying is that in internet discussion like these -- where we have no facial, tone of voice or other cues to give context to our words and where the back and forth of face-to-face conversation is missing -- we all would do well to remember that sometimes misunderstandings may come from a simple failure to communicate as well as we would like.

So what house did she join?

As a father who was in a Fraternity and also put 2 girls through school and their Sorority here is my experience for what it is worth.

As with everything else in life it usually costs more than you are told. Take the top amount and add 10% and you will most likely be in decent shape. If you just take the lower cost Sororities numbers it will probably not include many items the higher cost Sororities include. I just think they all are going to be somewhere in the same ranges on cost unless they do not have a house.

That's exactly how I read her posts, and am still reading them. I mean, she made a big deal out of how they COULD afford it, so what exactly was the point of this thread?

To bitch about old row sororities not disclosing costs, methinks, and bash old row in general.

Margretlee:

I am really glad, for your daughter's sake, that this endeavor worked out. It could have turned out very badly for her. What you should have done, from the BEGINNING, is tell her: "Honey, we have X amount of dollars to give you each year for your sorority membership and expenses. If you join a house that is more expensive, you will need to come up with the difference on your own." Several people told you this, and it is great advice that makes complete sense.

I hope that with your other daughters, you will rethink the approach you took with the first one. It really was not fair to put that kind of pressure on her during recruitment.

I've been on GC for a year and I still don't understand the whole "Old Row" thing.

I still don't understand why she couldn't get a job to help offset costs...plenty of sorority girls in the SEC have jobs.

This might help:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...t=32105&page=5

I cut a good house for $ issues. On house tour day, when there was a Prada bag hanging off every single bed, I knew I would never be able to keep up materialistically, so to speak. I complimented the dress of one of the girls who rushed me. She thanked me and told me that she bought it in Italy because her parents sent her to Italy to go shopping for school clothes every summer.

Although I could have afforded the chapter, I knew I would never be comfortable spending all of my spending money on designer shoes and bags. On the other hand, I wouldn't be comfortable not fitting in with my sisters.

I guess I can agree with the point that you can actually choose to not join a house that you really like due to the costs. If it's a scrape for you to pay the dues and you don't get to do any of the extras, like spring break, game roadtrips, etc., what is the point of joining? I'm glad MargaretLee's daughter found a middle of the road (costwise) house and hope that she will fit in and be happy.

That's not really the same thing at all. The OP's questions were about housing costs and dues, not what the sisters choose to spend on their own. There's a possibility the chapter with the lowest dues and rent is also the one where the sisters have a Prada bag for every day of the week.

This, for eternity!

I'm a mom and agree with everything you said. Just curious, how did it all turn out? Ie, how does your daughter rate the experience of greeklife at UA and what do you know about the costs?

Who are you responding to? No one has posted in this thread since 2009.