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Giving this white lady the "You better come get these nigglets before I stomp a mudhole in them look"
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Imma need you to get a new username, that DOESN'T USE ALL CAPS.
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Here comes another one.....
Dear Jr:
Christmas Day was fine while our nephews and mother were opening their gifts and stuff. Once that was all over and the excitement died down, you decide to do something that only you would do: YOU TAKE A BOX OF CEREAL THAT YOU KNOW HAD ROACHES IN IT, STAND OVER ME AND SHAKE THE ROACHES ONTO ME!!!!! :mad: I knew to expect something like that from you b/c you're just like your no good daddy; TRIFLIN' to the nth degree!!! Then you proceed to laugh like the $h!t's hilarious!!!! Now I dunno WTH you were thinking when you did that, but the next time you decide to try to disrespect me in front of family like that and think you won't get cursed out, I'll be sure to drop kick you where you stand and drag your tall lanky azz down to the garbage cans so you can be properly disposed of. *Quick footnote: We were at our sister's house when this act of stupidity occurred. |
[quote=lil_sunshine;1577278]Dear Jr:
I knew to expect something like that from you b/c you're just like your no good daddy; I'll be sure to drop kick you where you stand and drag your tall lanky azz down to the garbage cans so you can be properly disposed of. quote] lmao! i just choked! I'm sorry that happene to you, does he always like that? |
God's Gift.....
Unfortunately, he is ALWAYS like that. And I have to live with this foolishness while our father says not a dayum thing!!!!!! He's one of the main reasons why I don't wanna have kids!!!!!!
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woww....dont worry one day he"ll have kids and they will do him ten times worst. Karma is a.....you know!
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I do, and that's why I wanna make sure I continue to work to save money to get my own apartment. That way, I don't have to deal with that nonsense, especially if it's condoned and not disciplined. :D
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And you didnt turn around and hit him?! :mad: Because there would have been some skin to skin contact at that point, for REAL. |
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*Sidebar* I don't condone violence against family members, but if you feel the need to pimp slap someone to knock some sense into them, I surely won't judge you. I'm sure there are a few people who have judged me, but at this point, it's whatever and I don't feel like trying to find the extra energy to care. |
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Dear co-worker R:
I pity you. You seem like a great person, yet you remind me of Dory from "Finding Nemo"- you seem to have a hard time remembering anything after awhile. But one thing you should know is that you should've NEVER EVER EVER told me that you were bulimic. I already knew that when as I was exiting the bathroom, I heard you hurl chunks into the toilet. This being AFTER you told me that you felt like you had eaten too much for lunch. I take eating disorders VERY seriously. But just know this: the next time you come up to me and ask me if I think you're chubby, I'm gonna JIGGLE YOUR DAYUM BONES!!!!! |
To the lunch lady: Why can't you wear a sweatband or something when you come into work? It's bad enough that I have to eat these 3 month old chicken strips, but you perspiring onto them has got to STOP!!! :mad:
(Although I wouldn't get into any serious legal trouble by saying this, it's the only thing I can equate to losing a job, getting prosecuted, etc. lol) |
To the 1st lady at work. You mean to tell me that you've only known this joker for only 4 weeks and you've already had sex with him?:confused: I understand you're separated from your husband, but you are still married to him. I know you're excited and happy about your new relationship and all, but I'll be surprised if it works out.:rolleyes:
To the 2nd lady at work. You've only known this joker for 9 months, according to you, his mother doesn't like you, you're a 30 year old woman, and he's a 21 year old kid, you've been divorced from your 1st husband barely two years, and you were recently practicing the FWB thing with a fire fighter you met on myspace, you screwed the Italian joker you were telling me about shortly before you met up with the fire fighter, and now you're engaged to the 21 year old after knowing him for 9 short months? If you make it down the isle, I'll give you 2 years tops, before you two are ready to call it quits. The following year, you two will be divorced. You should be ashamed of yourself...he's too young for you. You should try keeping your panties up for awhile. Doing that may help you. Also, I'm flattered that you two ladies come to me for relationship advice.:) |
PB yo0u are a sucker for relationship stories anyway!
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PrettyBoy=http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/...ticons7/26.gif lol lol :p |
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SNAP!
My GC ppl are still here. I hope someone logs on before I leave! |
Dear C, W and Lil C:
The next time I decide to come over and visit your triflin' azzes, you better work hard to keep your inner hoodrat in check. I know you girls are 11, 10 and 6, respectively, but as your godmother, I won't tolerate having to feel like I'm staying in a homeless shelter and have to keep my boots on b/c you want to steal them from me if I don't have them on. I've never done anything to disrespect or dishonor you, yet you decide to take your joke too far and make it last an entire weekend. As we all know, hoodrats lack discretion, so there was a lot of yelling throughout the weekend. Here's what went down, GC: I went to visit my best friend and godchildren to babysit them while my best friend and her hubby went out for some alone time. I usually enjoy staying at their house b/c it's a welcome respite from arguing with my 18 year old brother who's a gigantic Mc@sshole. Being that it was snowing on Friday, I wore my pink Pastry boots that I recently purchased for half price online (in addition to a light brown pair; yes, I got two for the price of one). The moment I stepped foot into their house, I was bombarded with hugs (the usual) and then the 10 and 11 year old girls looked down at my boots and began admiring them. When I sat down, the admiration grew into rude gawking. They like the song "Low" by Flo-Rida, especially the opening line by T-Pain, "Apple Bottom jeans, boots with the fur...." I just happened to also be wearing Apple Bottoms jeans. The 11 year old, I soon found out, wears the same shoe size as me and asked me if she could try on my boots, to which I replied no (I thought "Hell no" in my mind). Then the 10 and 11 year olds sat at my feet and started to feel inside my boots and they got excited at the fact that there was fur inside the boots. Then the 11 year old comes out her face and tells me, "Titi, if you take off your boots, I'm taking them. They will be mine." Their parents both warned me that if I indeed took off the boots I wouldn't be going home with them. The 11 year old WOULD trade my boots for her Payless footwear and I'd have to wear that home. For the entire weekend I went to sleep after all of the children did just so that I could find proper hiding spots each night to put my boots. Here's what happened Saturday morning: The youngest godchildren woke up to use the cpu. I was still laying down on the couch supervising them when the 10 year old woke up. She looked at my feet and yelled for the 11 year old to wake up to help her find the boots. I then raced into the hiding place and put my boots on. On Sunday morning, I was asleep in the same room as the hoodrats and the 10 year old woke up again b4 the 11 year old. She yelled for the 11 year old to wake up to find my boots, which I had hidden in another hiding spot. I got off of the top bunk and went to said hiding spot and retrieved my boots. Then later that morning I needed to brush my teeth and take a shower, so I hid my boots once again. In the process of trying to do so, the two older hoodrats looked at my feet and saw a free opportunity to take my boots, which I had hidden behind my back. The youngest godchild who's 6 yelled, "The boots are behind Titi's back!" This little hoodrat in training was tipping off the older hoodrats to what I was trying to do. Then after I successfully hid my boots, I went and took my shower. As I was putting my pajamas on again so I could go into the living room to get my clothes and get dressed to leave, I heard my godson scream my name. I then ran into his room to find out what was going on to find the two hoodrats in his closet trying to find my boots. I successfully got them to leave the room and I took my boots and put them on. My best friend commented that it was a damn shame that I had to keep my boots on so they wouldn't get stolen. Well, I learned my lesson well this past weekend- I can't wear nice name brand clothing in front of my godchildren. They might steal from me. I think they inherited this gene form their father who used to be a crackhead and sold a lot of their possessions so he could get high. They also learned this hoodrat behavior from their hoodrat friends in school. I'm sure my best friend has tried to teach her children that they live in the projects, but they're not OF the projects. But if I have to endure such behavior, those hoodrats will get a pimp stick beating from me IN FRONT OF their parents, and I dare them to say something! :mad: |
^^^^ If the parents were serious when they said I would be wearing the Payless boots home then they would have had to cancel their weekend plans.
It does sound like you fell hard for the joke. |
^^^^ Yeah, I did, but after awhile, they knew it wasn't funny and I wasn't laughing, so why continue on with the joke......
Oh yeah, b/c my reaction was funny to them (including my best friend; hubby is a cpu addict and was in his virtual world while all of the shenanigans were occurring). I'm now starting to get flashbacks of Christmas Day....... :( |
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I would gave them the boots, right in their little ____. Kids can smell blood. They are alot like sharks in that way.
They must know you wont spank them. |
Well, I haven't had to discipline them b4; their parents always did that. This time they didn't and went along with the kids' joke. :(
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I'm glad I found this, now I can vent:
2 my sister: I love you very dearly, but now you have got to go. You will be 20 in a few months and you act 13. Our 15 year old sister is more grown than you. Unfortunalty I am tired of you and your monkey ass of a boyfriend. We have all done so much for you and you've taken us for granted, especially me. Ok, so you got fired from your job for being a childish little brat almost 2 months ago and didn't tell me. I don't know how you expected me not to find out? What were you going to do when I asked for your half of the rent? When you got a new job 2 weeks ago, why did you have to get fired after 4 days b/c you decided that it was more important to go to a party in another state in which you didn't have no idea on how you were getting back home? I thought getting stranded in MO with no way home would wake you up some, I guess I was wrong. Why do you do so much more unmentionable shit! Mom said that's the same reason she got rid of you but told me to give you another chance. Gran'ma said I should have kicked you ass out over a month ago. I think I'ma listen to grandma because I'm putting you out tomorrow morning. Don't worry, I's sure that rusty monkey ass dinosaur looking ass boyfriend of yours has a place for you to stay, since you say that "He is all that you got." He isn't anything and hasnt done anything for you. How dare you!!! 2 my sister's ugmo of a boyfriend: Why? Oh, Why are you dating my sister? You are 28 years old, no job, no car, no life, you are completely worthless. Why don't you date a woman, instead of a lil girl. Are you intimidated by a woman with a job, a car, and acts her age. I feel that you are taking advantage of her naiveness. You are not a real man for that. Every day that she spends with you she gets younger and dumber. Should I be collecting rent from you too since you be over here every day of the got darn week!?! Since I'm kicking her out that is bye bye to you too. I am the type of person who avoids conflict, but it's gon be some conflict in the morning cause ya are GONE!!!! |
Dear R:
The next time your rude and unprofessional azz does or says anything stupid, I will proceed to pull a "Krystal (from College Hill: V.I.)" on you. I know I've known since day 1 that you were a Buttinsky, but being that today is cramp day and I haven't taken any Midol yet, keep your distance from me and stay at your desk. If not, WWE Smackdown will be in progress after lunch. |
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woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowww wwwwwwwwww
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Dear Barbie:
Thank you for taking a vacay day today so I could get this off my chest in your absence. Now, can your bottle blonde azz PLEASE get your stuff together? I know the old adage about blondes being dumb is true in some remote cases, but you as a BOTTLE blonde make them all look bad. Your blatant stupidity knows no bounds. A bag of rocks has a higher IQ than you ever will. You, as my immediate supervisor, give me tasks to complete for you which I do because it's my job. But why do you choose not to give me a deadline or time frame when these tasks need to be completed and then you catch an attitude when I don't finish in lightening speed? The last time I checked, I was a human being, not Superman or Cheetara from the Thundercats. So you need to fall back with that stupid attitude of yours and continue surfing the internet during work hours, since it seems to be the only thing you're good at anyway. So I'm gonna give you a stern warning- which you may take as a ghetto attitude since I'm the only AA person in the entire office: Next time you ask me to do something and you either don't show me how to do it right the first time or complain about how long I'm taking, I'ma smack you upside your cabbage with a jar of mayo and make cole slaw!!!!!!! |
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CTFU @ NP & PB!!!!!!! :D
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REAL NUPE PERRY
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Dear My-Soon-2-B-Ex,
You promised that your move to San Antonio wouldn't break us up. Its been 2 weeks and I haven't heard from you. I know you're in basic training, but its been 2 weeks. I take it that I have been dumped. I will proceed to screw my way into emotion atrophy. Thank you. |
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Okay everyone. Remember that crazy chick Kim I told y'all about in past posts? I haven't been in touch with her- nor have I seen her- for awhile and everything was fine. Life was going great as usual until she sent me a note and friend request on Myspace last night. She wanted to know how I was doing and that she missed me. :rolleyes: So of course I DENIED her friend request and sent her a nice little note, but my guess is her bison headed azz won't get that I'm talking about her. Now I'll have to block her again. The only reason why I unblocked her is because I thought that she'd get the hint and not contact me again since she'd been blocked for so long before. Obviously, that didn't happen. :rolleyes:
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