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I do have a question. You say she was only released by two chapters after Round 1, and only one out of those seven invited her back after Round 2. At Mizzou, PNM's may visit up to 11 chapters during the second round. There are 15 chapters at Mizzou, so if she only had seven invitations for Round 2, that would mean eight houses released her after Round 1, not two houses. When your daughter is referring to total invitations and being released by chapters, is she talking about all houses, or just the ones she would be interested in pledging? |
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MIZparent, I must be confused about the round numbers. Mon and Tues she visited 15 houses. She was cut by 2 of them. She then picked the 11 houses she wanted to go back to on Wed and Thurs. Thurs night she preffed 7 houses and Fri morning was only invited back to 1. She released herself that morning. Does that make sense?
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I knew I would probably get some grief about that question, but I asked so I could get an idea of how many released her in the first round, and I was a little confused by how you explained it. Anyhow... My guess is her grades, even though a 3.4+ is a very good GPA. I get a sense there is a reluctance at Mizzou for the pledge classes to get as big as they are at other universities like Arkansas and Alabama, and maybe they are using a higher GPA grade cut off to keep the numbers down? A 3.5 and above is a fairly high green light. Maybe someone has more insight into that than I do in regards to that? I don't think she did anything wrong. From reports in local news outlets, this incoming freshman class at Mizzou (not just PNM's) is considered one of the smartest and accomplished classes they've ever had (make sure she knows she's included in that assessment!). She just ran into a lot of competition, and perhaps missed the cut at some of these houses by just a few places on their invite lists. In any case, if she is still interested in pledging, make sure she fills out that COB form on the PHA website. It's only good for one semester, so she'll need to fill it out again in January if she doesn't COB with a chapter this fall. One of the chapters is already listed on the PHA website as COB'ing right now. Good luck. |
Thank you to everyone who has replied on this thread or sent me a private message. I'm touched by the amount of support and advice I have received in just a few hours. This forum is exactly what I needed! I'm so thankful I stumbled across it.
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Unfortunately, what you would have gotten, had you come to GC before rush is a lecture in managing expectations. The cuts can be brutal and really emotionally devastating if she lets it. And clearly she did. That sucks but I'm glad you didn't break down and take her home.
The good news is there will be other opportunities, in COB (probably) and as a sophomore next year. Tell her to keep her chin up, keep her grades and her reputation pristine, be involved and make friends. And not being Greek isn't the end of the world there. Best of luck to both of you. |
Tigeralum,
Please keep stressing to you daughter than she did nothing wrong and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. Every process has its imperfections and recruitment may be poster child for imperfections. I suspect that her GPA was indeed the downfall. If her GPA was in the 3.4 range with AP and IB classes, it is not out of a possible 4.0. It may have been a 3.4 out of 5.0 or 6.0. When her GPA was re-figured on a 4.0 scale, it may have been considerably lower. That is one of the downfalls to weighted grades. It gives students a false sense of GPA because they forget that most colleges are converting to 4.0 scale but noting that the student did participate in AP and IB. There should be COB opportunities in the spring if her college GPA is good. These friends in sororities can let her know second semester if their chapters have openings and invite her to events. It is normal for chapters to lose women to early graduation, study abroad and internships over break. Hopefully, she will be able to take advantage of those connections. Best wishes to both of you! |
To tiger alum
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Thanks again to everyone who has replied on this thread or sent me a private message. My daughter seems to be enjoying Mizzou although she hasn't given up her hope of being in a sorority. She absolutely loves her major so thank goodness for that. She is getting involved with other organizations on campus. She says she is going to get a 4.0 this semester(fingers crossed) so she can try to COB this spring. I think it's too early right now even though PHA has several sororities listed as currently participating.
I do have a lot of questions about the COB process. I get the feeling that some sororities do not advertise if they are participating. My daughter did register for informal recruitment this semester. I understand she will have to do it again second semester. Should she also email the houses directly? Even the houses that aren't posted on PHA? She has made a lot of friends in sororities as I mentioned in my original post. From what little knowledge I have on COB none of the houses her friends are in participate in it. I told her...you never know...tell your friends to keep their ears to the ground just in case. |
Some sororities only have a few spots open and it is far easier on both sides to not publicize it - for the sorority so they do not have to throw large parties and for the rushees so that dozens of girls do not get their hopes up for one or two spots. The best thing she can do is keep her friends aware of her interest.
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To answer a few of your questions, no she shouldn't email the chapters directly. Only a very few would be doing anything this fall and a few more than that in the spring. As 33girl said, she should express interest to her friends, but don't beat it to death. She very well may have to wait until next fall, but it's great if she will allow herself to be open to the options available to her sooner than that. Do keep in mind that the most competitive chapters will likely NOT be participating in any informal rush but as has been abundantly clear, all of the chapters there are great and she'd have a great time in any of them.
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Hello! Love to hear some updates from everyone since recruitment!
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Just got back from parents weekend at Mizzou. I got a chance to see my daughter's sorority house and meet some of her sisters. She made a fantastic choice. She seems so happy. The girls I met were genuinely kind hearted. I had no tears leaving after our visit knowing she is building wonderful friendships and memories. Could not have been more impressed! ❤️
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How wonderful!!
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My senior DD got her new great grand little last weekend and she's adorable! What a wonderful experience she has had in her house.
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That's so sweet and exciting! Is your da SK?
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Momoftiger, Yes she is! They lost their homecoming partners, Sigma Nu, and now they are doing it alone. I have no doubt they will prevail!
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Had so much fun watching the first night of the homecoming talent competition live streamed. Here's the link in case any of you don't have it. Http://livestream.com/Mizzou/homecoming2015
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When I click on it a company's website comes up?
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Well,my daughter is no longer a new member, but now a newly initiated KD at Mizzou! ��
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Welcome daughter of momoftiger ;) to the Farmville Four!!
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Correct me if I am wrong |
It's not an NPC rule, they can't make rules like that. Most groups have individually decided to shorten NM periods, although some have realized it resulted in undereducated sisters and have added weeks back in.
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Chi Omega's new member period is 1 semester (or quarter), unless it's deferred Recruitment and grades are already established. Exception would be if a university's Panhellenic sets the NM period.
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I personally ,SO WISH, other groups would add weeks before initiation. I understand the why it was shortened but so much is lost and one of those is the incentive to make grades and demonstrate the importance of grades.
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I hate the 6 week new member period my org instituted. As a former advisor, I can attest to the fact that in that truncated time, new members do not adequately learn the history, founders, values, philanthropy, creeds, purposes or even the names of the actives in a large chapter, nor do they have time to adjust to being in an organization. If it's worth joining, it's worth learning and preparing for membership.
Bring back the semester system! It's only a few more weeks, and I can't be convinced that those few weeks make such a difference in retention or the propensity to haze. However, our nationals think it is great. Me, not so much. |
Although I was relieved to complete our quarter-long pledge period, late September through early January, I was able to really appreciate what had transpired during that time when we were initiated. Our PC grew close, I bonded with my Big Brother (who was so important to me during my freshman year), and it gave me time to consider if it was something I wanted to make a longtime commitment to.
You don't get this kind of experience in 6 to 7 weeks. I'm not sure that gives new members/pledges enough time to experience what true brotherhood and sisterhood is. |
Personally I think that saying x weeks is the right amount of pledge time for both chapters of 30 and 300 is beyond ridiculous.
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Even as I complain at how short the New Member period is now, I have to say that my Southern Belle Sixth Grade Teacher taught us to say the Greek Alphabet (backwards & forwards) in such a way that I hadn't forgotten when I pledged. Most of my pledge class were behind that very first day because of that. (Thank you, Mrs. Bridges!) |
I'm ok with an 8 week new member period. I actually like it.
Why? Because I think that our members should continue to be educated about their organization and learn about it throughout their entire membership. I don't see any reason why learning has to stop at the end of 8 weeks. We voted them into our sisterhood already. New member period is already chaotic, and that extra meeting a week doesn't need to continue through finals IMO. Again, that doesn't mean that the learning stops. We have the opportunity to continue to teach them what it means to be a Gamma Phi Beta every single time we interact with them, whether it be as active members or as new members. Considering how little is usually retained from one's own initiation, and how much one learns about ritual through post-initiation reviews and future initiations, I think it's clear that not everything can be absorbed when one is brand new. Whether that period is 6 weeks or 15 weeks, it's not all going to be absorbed. So we continue to educate all the way through their collegiate years and as an alumna, too. |
I don't think it should stop either....most groups have an office who's responsible for continuing to educate members. The problem is, women are being initiated (as in, lifetime commitment) without even knowing the basics as far as founders etc and without understanding how big of a commitment it truly is. A brief pledge period full of presents and poems is no preparation for the amount of work (and mandatory events) that is part of being an initiated sister.
I also don't think there should be an "extra" meeting - in other words, pledges should not be attending every chapter meeting - but that's another subject. And if there's a culture of hazing in a school or chapter, it will happen regardless of the length of the pledge period. Even after initiation. Unless GLOs adopt rolling admissions and initiations, there will always be a youngest class. |
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I also think, if hazing is a concern, NM's should be told on DAY ONE just what would have to happen for them not to be initiated. I think a lot of NM's have a perception that they could be blackballed or something, and I don't know of any NPC group that actually allows such a thing. I don't think breaking a pledge is easy in any group. |
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