| Boom_Quack13 |
03-05-2006 07:25 AM |
Quote:
Originally posted by ladygreek
Wow, I avoided this thread because I thought it would make me angry. But there is some good discussion on here.
Personally, I dated a White man for over a year, but probably would not do it again. Why? there were just too many fundamental differences. But I don't criticize Black women that do who have managed to overcome those differences.
Now I will be hypocritical and say I have a real problem with Black men and non-Black women. Why? Because I live in Minnesota where it is very prevalent, and while I understand the concept of true love knows no color, my personal experiences here have been very bad.
I have had White women smirk at me when they pass me with their Black man on their arm. I have had Black men nearly knock me down in a club trying to get past me to talk to a White woman. And I have had Black men who were friends and proclaimed their love for Black women to be busted out otherwise.
When interracial dating and marriages are equal, i.e. just as many White men seeking Black women, then I think I will be okay with it. But the bottom line for me is until then, the number of eligible Black men is significantly lower than the number of eligible Black women, and add that to the fact that we have to compete with non-Black women leaves many of us and our daughters out in the cold.
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I have been on the receiving end of the smirks, as well. And worse, I've had them clutch their man, as I pass by, or enter a room. I refrained from posting those experiences, because I knew some Becky (or should I now say Jeni) would come in here explaining and going on and on, trying to negate my experiences.
While I am married to a Black man, I do understand and agree with your point about the IR dating and marriages becoming equal. What's more troubling for me is how Black men tend to lower their standards, when it comes to dating outside their race. I can use my cousin as example, although he is not the only one, by far.
My cousin has always had to have his (Black) women come from a certain kind of family, with a certain level of education and physical appearence. He married a Caucasian chick, and all of thath went out of the window. Her appearence is subpar, as well as her education. We won't talk about her breeding (or lack thereof :rolleyes: ).
A friend, who I graduated from high school with, always had to have the cream of the crop sista. She had to be shaped a certain way, even if she wasn't the most beautiful girl, facially. He had a serious track record of dating sistas who had very nice figures. Along comes truckish Becky, and I'll be darned, if he didn't trip over his own feet to get to that big ol' pale chick. Becky was a run-through girl. She had been run through by A LOT of guys (and a couple of girls :eek: ). But he lowered his standard in a major way for her. He stayed with her for years, trying his best to get that light-skinned baby from her. Come to find out, she couldn't have children, and she was dropped for another Becky. |
