I totally agree!

my ex's sands asked if it was different.


uhhhh......

im living vicariously thru this thread
 

i turned after the first 5 minutes. i love me some oprah but she is really getting on my nerves with these shows that have little to no substance. she's making me feel like her tenure on tv is what is separating her from maury or tyra.

I did not know she was a Soror. :o I have to watch part III on my DVR later on.

On another note - just saw the ep with Tyson Beckford. His part was so touching. Wished they'd spent more time talking to him....:o :p

I had this discussion with a friend of mine who is an African American female. I must admit that I do get somewhat confused when I see a white man with a black woman. I just wonder what is it that he can do for her mentally. I don't really get concerned with the sexual part of it because any man can adore a woman's body, but I want to adore her mind first. Can this dude be there when she comes home from a hard days work and is stressed out because she is struggling to break the glass ceiling? Can he really identify? I make it my assignment to love every square inch of my black woman (mind and emotions included);) . And yes I am equally confused when I see black dudes with white women. No offense, but white women just don't do it for me. They can be physically attractive, but can they suite my needs mentally and emotionally?

Black girls like me cause I got skilz.

The most important thing is I am there for them. I was only incarcerated one time but that was back in the day when I was pharmaceutical sales rep.

I don't mean to intrude, but...

I think we've all seen couples that have left us scratching our heads saying, "what does she see in him and what does she have that I don't have"?

The poster I have quoted asked whether a white man could identify with a black woman and support her when she comes home stressed out about work and is having troubles. I would venture to say that he would have trouble identifying with this women because he can never truly know the type of hardships this black woman faces everyday. But by the same token, me being white and having a white boyfriend, he sometimes has trouble supporting me and identifying with me and my problems, however trivial they may be, but stress me out nonetheless.

Not every relationship is what it appears to be. Some relationships might be purely physically. So, to use this couple as an example, to say that the white man could never truly support this black women might not even apply because they may not be interested in what each other can do for them intellectually.

Unless we are actually walking in their shoes, we can never truly comprehend the relationship.

I actually agree. If the relationship is purely physical, then it doesn't matter about intellect. However, the couple which we were referring to were engaged or married. I believe that once you enter that realm of relationships, physical attraction has to be supported by something else. Otherwise, once I've you've got your back broke in, then you just need to go home. Men and women will never fully understand each other b/c we are two different species and think differently(I'll never know what it is like to be pregnant...thank God), but I do what is like to be followed in the "high-end" shops. That is all I am pointing out. But I believe "if you like it-I love it". Do whatever works for you:)

Ahh, ok, I didn't actually watch the Oprah show in question.

KAPPAtivating's (albeit a lil old--sorry, I just saw this) echoes the sentiments of some of the Black men, on and off this episode (like my father, who's rule is "If he aint an Omega...then baby, I'm sorry! ;)And if he aint Black, then...:("). My *ideal* mate is not just someone who looks like my daddy (any 6'11 men out there?), but someone who is a proud, qualified, meaningful MAN. I must admit, there are time when (in a former relationship with a White guy) that I wanted to say "Jeremy. Babe? You just don't get it." It was an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Yes, I did have to explain things time and time again that he didn't understand. How could he? But then, the last guy I dated (who is Black)--we went through the same thing---different subjects, but same thing (misunderstanding/non-relation). A lot of times, I was like "Greg. Babe? You just don't get it"

But don't get it twisted---as far as what he (Jeremy) and other men have done for me mentally, emotionally, physically, etc is beyond color. Some things are, believe it or not, beyond color. Not everything...but love/being in love is not defined by race, color, creed, nationality, sexual orientation, or ANYTHING else. I'm not that old (turned 21 in December--FINALLY) and haven't been that super-duper involved in a ton of relationships but I can say that I have had edifying relationships with Black men, with White men, with a German guy, a Greek man, a Vietnamese guy, and a Nepali male. And at the end of the day, I connected with them ALL on a super-conscious level. And STRUGGLED WITH ALL. To different degrees, yes, but it was more, for me, about seeking love for the sake of love--about honoring what love is about and beyond the superficial level. And besides, just because he's Black, DOESN'T MEAN THAT AUTOMATICALLY CANCELS OUT THE BULL^&*. And just because he's White, DOESN'T MEAN HE CAN'T RELATE/CONNECT.

I don't think you've seen what a White woman can do for you because you haven't been with a White woman who could do for you, yet. Also, you're not dating an entire race. Have you ever been in love with White? Have you ever been in love with Black? No-you've been in love with Ashley or Michelle or whomever.All persons are a product of their culture/environment BUT my point is, relationships are on an individual basis, not on this huge construct that defines finite standards for who can/what can and who cannot/what cannot work out.

Just a rant...

enigma_AKA

This is a valid concern from a worldly perspective. So, it depends on whether or not a relationship is based in God or in man. A relationship based in God automatically has bridges to the inevitable gaps faced by all people - regardless of the distance. So, what we consider to be smaller (the gap between men-problems and women-problems) as well as what we consider to be bigger (the gap between couples of varying races, ages, educational backgrounds, etc.) are completely covered in God.

One thing I am learning is that I have to be extremely patient (as I am often reminded by my fiance) because we DO have very different perspectives and methods of communication.

But, to say that a white woman can't provide enough support to a black man in a serious relationship is taking God completely out of the equation. (Of course, if that's where you stand, I know where you're coming from.)

YES

I think you need to remember that no everyone believes in God or believes in God the same way that you do, so your statment may have no meaning to to some people.

For some people God is not a factor in how their relationship works and not having God in their relationship doesn't make their relationship less meaningful or supportive and does not mean their relationship is doomed to fail.

back to Oprah...
 

Soror Tickled Pink 2,

What ended up happening? What was the big issue that they were talking about in the previews? I hope she got some serious help--homegirl soror was up in straight up denial!:(

enigma_AKA

I have not been in love with a White woman. I have tried. At the end of the day, we just did not connect. She was very much attractive, but I felt like I was a konquest...a prize. I know that is not the case for every couple like that, but that is what happened to me. I just feel as though another person of color (black, vietnamese, whatever) can understand what racism in America is like. I do believe in God and believe that God will send me the RIGHT woman. If He sends a White woman then so be it! My options are open right now, but I always wonder will she be able to really understand my struggle. If you haven't fought the battle, then you don't know.