I want to grab hold of you and shake you!!!(edited-but first I'd HUG you!) Don't EVER feel that way about yourself! I know how excited you were and I can usually tell the ending before the thread reveals anything. I honestly believed things were going 100% your way.

Don't let those words you read on some little twit's computer screen damage your self image.:mad:

I know girls, WONDERFUL girls, who didn't even get past round one! Homecoming Queens-Danceline Captains-4.0s. They are doing just fine. They would NEVER question their self worth. Don't you question YOUR'S either!You NEVER would have come this far if what you are THINKING about yorself was true!!! I agree with what people are suggesting. Go to pref- KEEP THE DRESS, EVERY GIRL NEEDS A COCKTAIL DRESS!!! On another thread they said LOOK AT THE GIRLS AROUND YOU-the ones that would be in your class. Use that to help in your decision. Put a smile on, hold your head high and see what happens. If you don't see it through, you may be making a premature decision. Good luck to you! You KNOW we are pulling for you.

PS-that little snot will get hers one day-you can count on it!

I am sorry I got so angry...

Melissa, don't give up! My rush was a lot similar to yours -- getting cut by some of my favorites after round one, getting cut by more favorites after round two -- I only really liked one of the houses I preffed at. But I did end up in that house, and I love it there! The fact that this group invited you back to pref means a lot, it means that they can really see you in their sisterhood. I know so many wonderful girls who hated all the houses they preffed at! So just walk in there and wow them tonight -- I know you'll do fine.

ohhh sweetie- trust me babe when I say i know how you feel... this was my 3rd time rushing (oh yeah) and again similar things happened... i was cut by many houses i thought i liked and was really only invited back to one house i liked for pref... but i decided to go and give it a chance, and actually had fun at the house that wasn't really my favorite... so this year, i didn't suicide- i figured i would go where i was meant to go and give it a chance- luckily i ended up in my fav. house and am so happy now- please, just give pref a chance- you may be surprised at the house you're not too fond of... also, if you don't end up joining a house- there are so many other things you could get involved in, and so many things to be happy about w/ yourself- you really are an awesome girl, and i agree w/ others when they say it's their loss if they can't see that... good luck babe and I'm so proud of you and all your strength!

here's my story:

i was cut from every house except for one. before rush (we have winter rush here at W&L), i'd had many people (mainly guys) tell me nasty things about the house. well, guess what? i was disappointed, but decided not to drop out of rush, and accept my bid. i'd still had fun there at rush, even if the rumors about them didn't seem to be things i wanted to associate with. and i loved it! at the same fraternity chapter where i dated a guy who told me "we don't date that house because they're too academic" (??? don't ask me why i dated THAT guy), i counted more women from my sorority there at their formal than from any other chapter! if you have had fun there, don't let the rejection from other houses get you down! i didn't, and i would probably go insane without my wonderful, wonderful sisters!

Melissa
Be bold and take a chance.
Go to those parties and have a good time. Don't worry if they want you----make them worry that you'll want them!

You went thru this process for a reason. Think about how much you wanted to look at the Greek systen and possibly become a part of it. Keep an open mind and heart and if it's suppose to be the right thing for you, it'll happen.

As it was said eariier, if you don't go, you shut yourself off from the opportunity to find out. You're not suppeosed to end up in all those groups----just one!----and it may be the one you go visit tonight!

Be Bold and Shine Bright!

I could not say this any better, but it bears repeating!!

NEVER, EVER give someone else the power to change YOUR self-image!!! You will come through this a stronger and most lovable woman, IF YOU ALLOW YOURSELF!!!!

Wear that dress & knock 'em dead!

fyi - I can remember seeing a pnm that wasn't on our pref list on her way to the other houses, and I thought, "We must have been on drugs to lose her..." Buck up!

Well, I went to house 3. I have an hour before I'm supposed to go to house 7, but I've decided not to go.

When I went to house 3 before, I had the same 2 girls rush me both times, and I really liked them. Tonight it was 2 different girls and...I just don't know. I didn't like it this time, and I don't know if it's because I'm still so upset about getting cut from the other houses or what. But one of the girls started telling me this really long, really personal story about one of her friends, and that just made me feel really uncomfortable. I really don't think I can be in this house. So when it's time to fill out the pref cards, I will be dropping out of rush.

At least if I drop out, I'll be eligible for an open bid. I'm not sure but if I suicide house 3 I'm pretty sure I won't be able to get an open bid anywhere. And I would rather not put down a house I can't see myself in. It's just such a huge decision, and I wanted to be in a sorority more than anything but I just can't commit myself to a house if my heart isn't in it.

I just really don't know what to do with myself now at all. I mean, ever since I came to this school I've been counting on being in a sorority. It's not easy to have a social life on this campus if you're not greek. Even when things didn't work out last year I had every confidence that I'd rush this year and get into a good house and be happy. I should have realized that if I wasn't good enough then I'm not good enough now either. I thought it must have been the way I dressed or the way I acted that got me cut last year because I was clueless, but this time I knew every rush tip in the book, spent hundreds of dollars on outfits to wear, asked all the right questions, and had what I thought were great conversations. I did EVERYTHING I was supposed to do, so that can only mean that since there wasn't anything wrong with what I said or wore, there has to be something wrong with ME. This was my last chance to rush. It's all over for me now, and I put myself through all this emotional bull**** for NOTHING.

No!! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Melissa! I am sure you are a wonderful, beautiful girl with a great heart. I know I am only echoing what everyone else said, but you cannot base how you feel about yourself on what happens during rush! I really want to encourage you put house three down.
The long personal story may have caught you off guard, but during prefs that is really what you are supposed to do. I am like you in that it would make me feel uncomfortable too. But the girl was probably rushing like she was told too.
You can't really get a good idea of what sorority life is from rush. Rush is this big huge production, but when it is all over you get to have fun and no one is putting on a show any more. So basically I am saying not to drop house three because of a bad night when you said previously that you had liked them before prefs.
I know it is up to you, but I just feel so horrible for you! I COBed, and I wasn't sure if sigma kappa was the house for me, i didn't really feel like i connected with them at first. But then I realized that if you give it a chance, it will become what you make of it. Please reconsider Melissa!!! And more than anything else, PLEASE dont' think you are poorly of yourself!!! We all are pulling for you and hope that whatever happens makes you happy!!

sign the card...
 

i know you are sad. i know you are hurt. sign the bid card and see if you can't get a snap bid out of the deal.
otherwise, i ditto everyone else. you are smart, strong and talented. DO NOT let this bite you. i know it's awful right now, but it will get better. there is nothing wrong with you. don't even allow that to stay.
keep in touch.
lots of love
:rolleyes:

Melissa - decide to go into COB whole-heartedly, or sign the card tonight! If your heart isn't in it during COB, you'll end up wasting your time. I'm sure you've met a lot of nice women this past week, and surely there are more that are worth getting to know better.

Remember that you are responsible for your own self esteem, so hold your head up high and *WOW* them all!!

Best of luck, sweet Melissa!

honeychile

I totaly agree all the way. I went through rush last fall and was droped by everywhere I really thought I liked. I was only kept by one sorority that I was slightly indiferent towards. But now as a sister I cant see myself anywhere else. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! dont think badly of yourself due to what happenes in rush.
I know rush must be over by now, but I hope everything turned out for the best.

Whatever you decide (and by this time you already have) please rea;ise that formal recruitment is no way to gauge what Greek Life can be. I wish you had gone to your second pref party. Sometimes all it takes is one special time for everything to "click." You might not think so, but think about how you've let an individual sad or hurtful one influence you-----try to allow yourself to have good ones.

Melissa, you are a valuable person in your own right. Good luck in your decisions.

I've Been There
 

I know very well how you feel in one aspect. I went thru informal twice before getting a bid. The way I approached it the last time I did it was to say to myself "You know what? FUCK ACTING LIKE I THINK THEY WANT ME TO ACT!" Lord, did I feel so much better! I was a total laugh riot, and that's what got me a bid! I got noticed for what I brought and who I was, not by being a stiff ass!
I laughed the whole time and made them laugh too! People remember those who don't try to echo everything that is already part of the chapter.

I remember every woman in my chapter because she made an impact on me during recruitment. During one recruitment event, we sat around in a circle, introducing ourselves. One of the women (who is no one of my FAVE sisters) was sitting there, with a pleasant grin on her face. She's really petite, like 4'9". So, she didn't stick out at first. I actually didn't notice her at first. So, we get to her and she introduces herself, and she mentions that she reads Shakespeare. Well, no offense, but my school was an intellectual graveyard! So, we are all impressed. Someone asked her what her favorite piece was and, instead of just telling us, she stood and recited a beautiful piece. Well, she had a bid as far as we were all concerned. She showed brains, confidence, poise, and THAT'S WHAT GETS YOU A BID IN THE RIGHT CHAPTER!!!!!!

These are my words of wisdom for the day: BE YOURSELF!

Hi Melissa! My heart really goes out to you. I wanted to let you know, that even though you may be down on yourself right now you really have to realize what a corageous person you are!! You have tried for something that you really wanted, and no matter how it turns out you have to be proud of yourself for that. There are women out there (ME) who never went through recruitment with NPC sororities out of a fear of rejection, not thinking she is good enough, etc. And here you are thinking about trying for COB!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, you are a much stronger woman than you give yourself credit for. I am so sorry that things have turned out the way they have right now, but don't think poorly of youself because of it. You have a lot of reasons to think highly of yourself!! And there are a lot of people here on GC who think well of you, too!

Melissa,

Please don't put yourself down!! You are a great person and precious to your friends and family. Do not let the recruitment process get you down --- as said even terrific outstanding women get cut, reasons unknown -- it's just the way the mutual selection process turns out sometimes.

I'm so sorry the way things have turned out for you but please do not blame yourself. If Greek life is really what you want, then give COB another chance.

And I hope, in a couple weeks after this has simmered down a bit, you will come back to this thread and reread all the uplifting encouraging remarks that have been written to you and that you will remember how loved and cared for you are.

Thank you for sharing!
Jen