| DTD Alum |
08-23-2011 09:31 PM |
I hate to rain on the snark parade, but I disagree that "I liked these guys/girls but don't see myself here" is always a code for "I thought I was better than this chapter."
At my school, most fraternities were somewhere within the range of 80-120 brothers, far big enough to ensure that there were guys you'd get along with in every house. That being said, despite an incredibly diverse membership, the house as a whole would definitely have distinct characteristics in terms of how they ran their events, how they presented themselves, etc. There was one fraternity that most of my close friends (many of whom are closer to me than guys in my house house) were in that I never would have felt at home in, and this was a chapter that was considered "better" than my own.
Some chapters would take risk management risks that might seem inexcusably irresponsible to some guys and not enough of a risk to others. Some chapters would run their events with strict business like procedure, some would go for a more laid back "let's have fun and not take this too seriously." Some social events would be notoriously rowdier than others. Some chapters would have a much stronger focus on athletics to the point of alienating those who aren't into sports, and some chapters might not even show up to games and alienate athletes. It doesn't matter that the guys were nice and people that you'd be friends with outside of the chapter...the overall culture and experience the chapter offered could be a bad fit for any number of reasons. And frankly, although a PNM is not going to be able to see all of these specific examples during rush, I do believe they get a very clear signal on a subconscious level of whether the culture/vibe is a good fit.
While I obviously can't give you a firsthand example of going through sorority rush, there were HUGE differences in how the sorority chapters presented themselves and the types of experiences you would have at a chapter's events. The mood and vibes at a DG event vs. an ADPi event vs. a Theta event or whatever were distinctly and consistently different from each other despite the fact that the chapters were enormous (200ish) and there were clearly girls of just about every personality type in them. There may be alternative girls in the "girly" chapter, and you might get along with them, but that isn't going to change the fact that you might want to be playing capture the flag with the XYZs rather than attending the Pink Party with the ABCs, despite that there are ABCs you think are fun and nice.
The cultures of each group, no matter how gigantic or small the group, can vary widely at some campuses. Although I don't doubt for a second that many (if not the majority) of PNMs ARE making this excuse to wiggle out of a group they deem "not good enough", if you don't seem to believe that PNMs can sense the culture of a chapter from NPC recruitment enough to determine whether they'd fit in in the chapter's culture (not just getting along with the girls), then there are probably bigger problems with the process than just pretentious PNMs.
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