I'm off to the AOII house to help with recruitment first round of philanthropy parties tonight!

GO OLE MISS!

As far as this article is concerned...I am a PROUD member of AXiD at UT. We DID extend her a bid, and waited...and waited...through all of the streams of women in the building... for leslie. Her nametag and bid day pack were made for her, and the girl who preffed her was holding them and LOOKING for her. At least we gave her a chance. I've always loved my sorority because we're able to look past the obvious flaws in looks, clothing, etc, and get to know the real person underneath. It really hurt to find out that she was a REPORTER. One question...why? Why hurt the recruitment process for a story? It's not to sell more newspapers...they're free. Past this, we've moved on. We have an amazing new member class, and we are probably better off not having someone who lied to our faces.

I think the funniest part was that she was extremely judgmental about the cuts the sorority girls might be making based on shallow characteristics, but then she admits that she based her cuts on mascots and colors.


Also, tee shirts on pref night? Oy.


I do like that she expected to get cut when she was wearing thrift store clothes but not when she was wearing "sorority girl clothes" . . . but it sounds like she was cut equally heavily both rounds, which leads me to believe that the sorority women were probably more attuned to her personality than she'd like to believe. ;)

I'm glad y'all have a great class of new members. I definitely had some choice words to say about this girl. What she did to y'all was unacceptable... but I'm glad to see that you're happy with the new members you have and you're not dwelling on the way this girl acted.

Congratulations on your new member class! As I read your post, I couldn't help but think about that last word - class. Your chapter obviously showed a lot of it, while this reporter was nothing but a charleton, a fraud.

I wish you every success!

OK, I'm totally not disagreeing with you all at all...

However, on a side note... the article is very well written. I hope she got an "A."

A lot of that is how I remember rush. Blisters on the feet, sweating on bid day. Ahhh... memories. (Notice that I'm ignoring the blatant mockery of the process)

I agree with the others that she was biased going in. I mean, typically the first time you meet people - be it your dorm roommate, a new job, new classmates, etc. - you at least run a brush through your hair.

And I'm glad the AXiD's have held their heads high and moved on.

I would like to quote her last couple lines though:

"But anybody can look through a window. It takes guts, more guts than I have, to knock on a door. "

Seems someone realized she had an opportunity presented to her and she didn't have the courage to give it a try. I think there is a compliment to greek women in there somewhere...:)

So I wrote her!
 

Hi All.....I wrote her a little note....obviously not telling my affiliation. I wanted an honest response and I'm not one to slam anyone for writing an article....allows for too much negative PR in the end.....

Here's what I wrote
Dear Miss Wylie,

I felt compelled to write you to say I appreciated your article "One Week In The Life Of A Sorority Screw-Up." As a sorority Greek alumna, though not from University of Tennessee or in a Greek system so large, I am able to relate to this article on many levels. I fully agree with the quote from the Alpha Chi Omega alumna who stated that what you see during recruitment isn't necessarily reality. For some chapters more than others it can be a show. I also was impressed that you seeked input from a social psychology professor and how his assessment didn't positively or negatively misconstrue Greek involvement. I have read many, many articles written to smear the Greek community and though I did not like certain aspects of your article, there was truth and responsible journalism throughout it. I applaud that.

I do feel, at the end of your article, that you may have overlooked one vital piece. How did the Alpha Xi Delta chapter feel when you did not go to their suite? As a collegiate there were years when a potential new member did not show up for bid day festivities for whatever reason. It broke the heart of chapter members because they look forward to new women joining their chapter and what they can bring. Knowing you would not take a bid if offered one...how many hearts did you break? Had circumstances been different, I would have loved to find out how your talents, specifically writing and the ability to see a different perspective of sorority involvement, could have benefitted this Alpha Xi Delta chapter.

Thank you for your time,

Here was her RESPONSE and it was quite interesting!
Thanks so much for your feedback. It was a tough story to write, because I had to identify and break through so many of my own prejudices in order to see the situation more clearly. Sorority sisters, contrary to what some people would have you believe, have emotions and sensitivities and depth. It broke my own heart to not go up to the Alpha Xi Delta suite at the end. Here were a group of young women who were open minded enough to see me for beyond the appearance I conveyed, and I in the end I was the one being fake, taking advantage of their kindness. In short, I learned a lot. I hope readers do, too.
Best, Leslie

*edited 'cause I can't spell!

WOW!

So my question.... If she DID grow to like the AXiDs so much, then WHY didn't she just accept the bid and pledge? It could have at least been worth a try. From what she said in that last sentance, and how she felt in their suite, it seems to me like it might have been good for her to go with it and SEE if it could really be something for her.

That's what I was thinking too. But if their free newsweekly is anything like ours the general attitude among the staff is Greeks are bad, people who don't surround themselves with a rainbow coalition of friends are bad, Republicans are bad blah blah. Completely left wing and written assuming that if you like going to see bands and plays and stuff like that, that is your political view. She would have probably gotten fired from her job, and if not, her coworkers would have never left her alone about it. Yes, just the attitude that people accuse sororities of having.

That is so sad. :( I find it interesting how sometimes people can be so closed-minded in their open-mindedness.

And you are exactly right.... Exactly the attitude that they perceive from the greek system.

>If she DID grow to like the AXiDs so much, then WHY didn't she just accept the bid and pledge?

This is speculation, but based on the article and the e-mail, it seems to me that she felt that she didn't deserve the bid -- that having gone through rush under those circumstances, she had no right to take it, because it didn't really belong to her, but to the person she was pretending to be.

I liked the article a lot.

You know, I thought her comments we completely hilarious. Yes, not appropriate, but come on, "Is that your natural hair color?" How many people would have loved to have asked that if there had been no repercussions? Or maybe turn the tables: "what does your father do for a living?"

I've actually mentioned this in another thread before.... On my campus, there actually WAS a chapter who regularly asked this question of PNMs. Completely inappropriate, and I find it offensive. What business is it of theirs?

Had I been asked that (and there were no repercussions) my answer would have been something along the lines of, "My dad is a crack-head and a pimp... But he is still nice enough to pay my tuition and sorority dues!" :rolleyes:

Hahaha had you said that to me, I probably would have had to give you a bid on the spot, just for saying that.

I think this is a bit of a reach. There's almost no chance of her getting fired from her job for this. As for her coworkers, they might have been incredulous at first but they wouldn't have given a damn after a couple days. Most of my non-Greek friends came from the sort of atmosphere you described, many of them worked/volunteered for the local weekly papers, and many of them were deeply involved with the local rock/indie/punk scenes (tattoos, piercings, mohawks and all) and none of them have ever harassed me about my choice to go Greek. Some of them were surprised at first, but I've never had anyone be rude about it -- and this is in a city where I imagine the anti-Greek sentiment runs deeper than it does down South.

As we all know, simply liking the girls isn't necessarily enough to get anyone to join. I imagine factors like feeling too old for the whole thing, being busy with the paper, or simply not being able to afford it were bigger considerations than what her coworkers would think. Grad school takes up a ton of time, especially if you have to TA or work to pay for it. I agree with IvySpice as well -- I don't think that she ever intended to accept a bid, no matter what the end result had been.

YES!!!!!! I'm in! WOO HOO! :D

I know it said round-about figures in the article, but I'm not sure about AXiD...

Anyway, my reasoning would maybe be that for me it was $1200 my first year, and that's a lot of money to sink into something that you weren't truly planning on doing in the first place. My guess is AXiD up there is probably around $600-700 your first year... still a lot of money. Someone else can say if that's close.

As far as that question, it's a completely rude way to ask it, I'll admit, but the fact of the matter is that you want to make sure the girl can pay her dues. I mean, there's not really a tactful way to ask it, but I understand the question.

Ole Miss Skit parties have started...I know Phi Mu and AOII did really well with return rates. I don't know about any other chapters. Anyway, when work is over at 5pm I'm to the AOII house to help with Skit and then on to Bid Session!

GO OLE MISS!

perhaps she did not accept her bid because accepting it would go against everything she is against. i too think it was cruel what she did to alpha xi delta for the sake of "journalism". maybe she will be able to get a job with the ny times? she seems right up their alley.

Maybe, "Do you work close to campus?" or something along those lines? Maybe you'll get an answer such as, "No, I don't have to work because my parents want mt to enjoy college without stressing about money," (my roommate's response) or "No, it's on the other side of town." Do you enjoy it, do you work many nights a week, etc etc.

Maybe you could get a little more of an idea if she could pay her dues, but politeness aside because I don't know another way to say it - Isn't that her problem? Panhellenic was upfront about dues during recruitment. There was no going in blindly.

I know that my school is a little different because we have deferred recruitment, but the PNMs get the list of dues and GPA requirements in October...a good 2 months before recruitment. I would imagine that most schools, even with fall recruitment, give this info to the PNMs before recruitment starts...? If not, I think they definitely should.

Any Ole Miss updates?

Men too if you know 'em.

The young lady I wrote a rec for pledged Phi Mu.

I just emailed the only rushee I wrote a rec for. I know rush is hard at Ole Miss so I'm praying she got a bid from somebody and I didn't just stick my foot in my mouth.

Ole Miss Bid Day is over! Quota was 84! I am pretty sure all but one house made quota but I'd rather not say which one.

AOII got 84 + 2 quota additions for 86! I know that most girls got their first choice and I heard that something like 680 pledged a sorority out of 839 that were registered.

Overall it went very well and I know that all of the houses got who they want and vice versa with the potential new members!

Yay for the Ole Miss sororities and their new members!

Aww...she'll probably know my cousin.

The Chi Chapter of Tri Delta at Ole Miss pledged 83... with a total of 275 members.

The Tau Chapter of Chi Omega at Ole Miss pledged 84 NMs (unless this is last years number.. it is late and I am tired!).

Just heard from my Pi Phi friend at Ole Miss. She is an active, so she is "in the know." Quota was 84. Pi Phi pledged 87. Chi O pledged 89, so A&A, that must have been last year's number. Tri-Delt did have to snap bid--she didn't say, but I'm assuming they snapped to quota. Another chapter didn't make quota, but I won't say which one.

She said the Kappas did really well. :D

P.S. Edited because I wasn't finished typing and accidentally hit the "send" button!

Well, if they didn't make quota I'm sure it was close. The chapters at Ole Miss seem to be great- all of them!

My thoughts, too!

Thank you! I heard Tri Delt snaped, I know they pledged 83, so if quota was 84, that would make two chapters.

Nonetheless.. everyone did well.. I cannot believe all the chapters are over or close to 200, several are over 250... It absolutely amazes me!

250.....wow

its been said repeatedly

ole miss needs another chapter, but I completely understand the investment of at least 3 million from the org and a strong prescene in the south...a vicous circle.

congrats to all the chapters at Ole Miss!

wow!!! thats a large chapter....

so I'm behind... for ole miss to get another chapter they have to have what is stated above to even be considered?

wow....:eek:

congratulations to all the ole miss sororities.

ukdaisy-there is a fascinating thread that goes in depth into the who, what where and why of a new sorority coming onto the ole miss campus-i believe that it was in a rush thread. anyway, it is worth a look if you can find it.

can any of you mississippi ladies answer this? what sorority was former homecoming queen, mother of peyton and eli manning, wife of archie manning in?