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-   -   DARK/LIGHT...SKIN COLOR.........Is this still an issue? Let's be honest Sorors & SF' (https://greekchat.com/gcforums/showthread.php?t=3485)

Still BLUTANG 11-08-2007 11:17 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1545683)
Oh man, about two weeks ago, the boy and I were at an event...one of the waiters, who's from the same area of the world as the boy, tried to convince him to have a kid with me! :eek: He was all, "my girlfriend is Dominican, and our kids are gorgeous." The girlfriend was a waitress at the club too, and he brought her over to show us! She also tried to convince us how beautiful our kids would be.

I thought it was hilarious until I remembered that some people have to go through this nonsense every day.
i get that when i go out with by bestguyfriend. he's Filipino and dates black women exclusively (another story there). When we go out his friends who haven't met me, they assume we're on a date and feel the need to tell us how cute our kids will be. :confused:

Still BLUTANG 11-08-2007 11:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by PerfectMistake (Post 1546017)
Good Evening all,

This post is right on time for me... I'm a beautiful dark-skinned Black woman who feels that we're all beautiful in our own way... I was raised to think that being dark skinned was wrong and I've been asked if I was adopted since I could remember (my mom is caramel, my older and younger sisters are light/medium brown, my dad is really dark, but he wasn't around)... It took a while for me to embrace this God-given beauty, but it happened... As a people (all people, all races) we still have a problem with skin color... it's sad, but true... The only solution to this problem (it's ideal, but not so real) is to just love people for who they are... It may not be that easy for everyone, but if you wanna get over it, then you'll do it...

I've received compliments for having long, permed, good hair and I've been called "pretty for a black girl"... I recently cut my long, permed hair and I'm natural (which is a whole 'nother ball game entirely)... In the end, I'm just me... Question: Why is it that I'm more accepted as a dark skinned woman with shoulder length permed hair, but overlooked or shunned for having natural hair?


While I was an undergrad (Sociology major) at a predominantly white institution, I took a class called Racism in American Society... The professor was AWESOME... On the first day of class, she put everyone in order from lightest to darkest... As a Black woman, I was proud to stand at the darkest end of the spectrum (If I'd been light skinned I'd be proud there, too!)... Funny thing is, there were people who were clearly darker than me who didn't want to be the darkest person in the class... They looked ashamed and moved closer to the middle of the spectrum... The professor gave money to the 6 darkest students in the class... It was an experiment to show whites/lighter skinned people how it felt to be rewarded solely on the basis of skin color....

I STILL HAVE MY DOLLAR 3 YEARS LATER....

This experiment touched me and made me look @ PEOPLE differently....

It's just my thoughts :)

girl, you are touching on so many things right there. :)
<--- dark sista who has been natural as well as permed and has recieved TOTALLY distinct treatment depending on hairstyle. LOL.

skywalker20_99 11-08-2007 05:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jill1228 (Post 1541027)
Wonderful, I think we have the same grandmother, sisterfriend! If not, they gotta be related (my grandma is 1 of 12 kids). :)

I am rather dark and I kept hearing the stay out of the sun. I love the sun and the ocean...not gonna happen

WTH is "good hair"?. If it is on your head and you like it, it is GOOD HAIR

AMEN! This is the EXACT response that I use when people talk about "good hair". I even had to clown some family members recently for saying that my son has good hair. I told them that ALL of our hair is good because we have the fortune of HAVING it. When people make such foolish comments, I think about a friends of mine who doesn't have hair because alopecia - she would be happy with ANY type of hair.

skywalker20_99 11-08-2007 05:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkies up (Post 1546550)
Ugly is a genetic trait. Flav and some random white girl will not equal pretty babies; just light skinned crickets.

Oh my goodness. I just choked on my gum!

southernelle25 03-06-2008 02:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pretty edAKAted (Post 1545441)
The first couple of days of school I was in the financial aid office and there was a young white girl with a mixed looking baby with her calling her mommy. the majority of the black guys that were in there started talking saying


" see that is why i want me a white girl so i can have some pretty children"

all of the other guys in the room followed saying

"yeah, man i know what you are talking about, that is a beutiful lil' girl"

Why do people think they have to get pregnant or have a baby by a white person in order to be considered beautiful. Why are they so afraid their children will be dark skinned? I think this is just ignorance and someone needs to raise thier children correctly without superficial thoughts like that. :mad:

Sure, they say that, but then they become upset when the children are born pure white in appearance or simply non-black, which is certainly possible given the already mixed heritage of most African Americans. I have read too many stories about black men abusing, emotionally and sometimes physically, their children (born of white women) for being "too light". I have seen posts online from men complaining because they thought their children would be born "with some color", i.e. "kinda light" with "good hair". These men don't consider that their children may not look anything like what they expect racially, that they may find it difficult to relate to sons who more closely resemble Wentworth Miller or "the man" than themselves. Though I feel for the children, I can't help but laugh at those who roll the dice and lose.

Munchkin03 03-06-2008 04:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by southernelle25 (Post 1613608)
These men don't consider that their children may not look anything like what they expect racially, that they may find it difficult to relate to sons who more closely resemble Wentworth Miller or "the man" than themselves.
Totally off-topic, but I feel that this is a good time as any to remind our readers at home how fine Wentworth Miller is. :)

darling1 03-06-2008 04:49 PM
I second that emotion
 
That is a fine man..lol. I went to school with him and he was adorable then and very sweet.:)

lovehaiku84 03-07-2008 11:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by southernelle25 (Post 1613608)
These men don't consider that their children may not look anything like what they expect racially, that they may find it difficult to relate to sons who more closely resemble Wentworth Miller or "the man" than themselves. Though I feel for the children, I can't help but laugh at those who roll the dice and lose.
Exactly. And on the other hand a lot of mixed kids come out looking full black with nappy hair. Bet they don't count on THAT happening. At any rate though, since black people are so mixed up in the first place it really is just a toss up when it comes to how your kids will look.

Little32 03-07-2008 11:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by darling1 (Post 1613757)
That is a fine man..lol. I went to school with him and he was adorable then and very sweet.:)
I would just like to co-sign on Wentworth Miller's fineness.

aopirose 03-07-2008 12:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little32 (Post 1614141)
I would just like to co-sign on Wentworth Miller's fineness.
Yes indeed. :D

Jill1228 03-07-2008 01:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Munchkin03 (Post 1613718)
Totally off-topic, but I feel that this is a good time as any to remind our readers at home how fine Wentworth Miller is. :)
Back off ladies, he is my next ex-husband! :D Yeah, he is hella fine

IVY BEAUTY 03-08-2008 04:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrese Turner (Post 1614685)
I like them light skinned honeys, you know what I'm sayin.
ok...........?????? :-)

NappyBison 03-08-2008 04:20 PM
*sigh*

ms_gwyn 03-08-2008 11:30 PM
You know..I just read Reaching Back and Reborn by Nea Simone and I just purchase Passin' by Karen Quinones Miller...that deals with this issue...

This whole subject is foreign to me and my family because it was never important to us and we are all shades.

But its still an issue in the community, which I think is a damn shame, esp. since Millions of blacks, "disappear" annually.

Educatingblue 03-09-2008 01:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS (Post 1545609)
That annoys me too because ugly children can happen to anyone.

ROTFLMAO!!! You sound like one of those drug addiction commercials :D

Blacksocialite 03-13-2008 07:32 PM
Wentworth Miller
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little32 (Post 1614141)
I would just like to co-sign on Wentworth Miller's fineness.
I wrote about Wentworth on my blog some time ago and I'm still getting emails from white and black people questioning whether or not it's true that he identifies himself as Black!

http://theblacksocialite.blogspot.co...-to-black.html

Good grief!!!!

Little32 03-13-2008 08:45 PM
From the first time I saw him, it was clear to me that he was not white.

AKA_Monet 03-14-2008 12:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by southernelle25 (Post 1613608)
Sure, they say that, but then they become upset when the children are born pure white in appearance or simply non-black, which is certainly possible given the already mixed heritage of most African Americans. I have read too many stories about black men abusing, emotionally and sometimes physically, their children (born of white women) for being "too light". I have seen posts online from men complaining because they thought their children would be born "with some color", i.e. "kinda light" with "good hair". These men don't consider that their children may not look anything like what they expect racially, that they may find it difficult to relate to sons who more closely resemble Wentworth Miller or "the man" than themselves. Though I feel for the children, I can't help but laugh at those who roll the dice and lose.
You know I had no idea who that little boy is, nor his political "genetic inheritance"... Now that is funny...

My little nephew is gonna look JUST like homey when he grows up...

Anyhow, do you have any references to those stories you read? I just do not understand why bruhs would do that when it was exactly what they wanted? The alternative is SOME bruhs are misogynists--generally speaking and would beat any kind of woman and their children because of power issues and compensation.

southernelle25 03-15-2008 02:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AKA_Monet (Post 1617789)
You know I had no idea who that little boy is, nor his political "genetic inheritance"... Now that is funny...

My little nephew is gonna look JUST like homey when he grows up...

Anyhow, do you have any references to those stories you read? I just do not understand why bruhs would do that when it was exactly what they wanted? The alternative is SOME bruhs are misogynists--generally speaking and would beat any kind of woman and their children because of power issues and compensation.
Not off hand, as this is the kind of thing I usually just SMH at and move on. However, there was a custody case in Louisiana awhile ago that stands out because both parents were attorneys, McCorvey v. McCorvey. The father was outraged that his daughter was “too bright” and felt she needed to “to color up”, instead of remaining light skinned like her mother. The fact that the mother regularly exposed the child to "diversity" only made him worse. You can read all about it here:
http://www.la3circuit.org/opinions/2...05-0174opi.pdf

lovehaiku84 03-17-2008 09:47 AM
I read this and just....wow. Too much drama for me. Personally I think that these people have bigger problems than the racial slur/diversity issue with their daughter.

unspokenone25 03-17-2008 09:55 AM
Reading a fictional book called Caucasia about this very issue within our community. Very interesting.

mccoyred 03-17-2008 12:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little32 (Post 1617682)
From the first time I saw him, it was clear to me that he was not white.
He has that Vin Diesel/The Rock/David Justice thing going on. Not bad looking but his eyes are spooky :eek:

delph998 03-17-2008 01:05 PM
This is still definitely an issue. My sister-in-law was reading a book to my nephew that dealt with people with all shades and he immediately pointed out the darkest skinned person and said he doesn't like her. My nephew is 3 years old and our immediate family are all shades. He's very fair, but my sister and father are darker skinned. We're trying to get him out of that mind-set, but more importantly, we're concerned about how he's conformed to that.

AKA_Monet 03-17-2008 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by southernelle25 (Post 1618423)
Not off hand, as this is the kind of thing I usually just SMH at and move on. However, there was a custody case in Louisiana awhile ago that stands out because both parents were attorneys, McCorvey v. McCorvey. The father was outraged that his daughter was “too bright” and felt she needed to “to color up”, instead of remaining light skinned like her mother. The fact that the mother regularly exposed the child to "diversity" only made him worse. You can read all about it here:
http://www.la3circuit.org/opinions/2...05-0174opi.pdf
This court document you posted is a H.A.M. Woman married ex-husband of the mistress of the Man who married the ex-wife? IMO, no one should have children under those circumstances. That is nuts!!! Oh well there will be plenty of shrink bills to pay...

Just all over the place... So sad the poor kids suffer these issues with dumb parents, on top of life issues that go beyond comprehension...

NappyBison 03-31-2008 05:36 PM
Just ran across a video that made me think about this thread...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0BxF...eature=related

5Knowledge1913 03-31-2008 08:19 PM
I do not dislike dark-skinned people, but I don't want daqrk-skinned kids. Simply being honest.

Blacksocialite 03-31-2008 08:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5Knowledge1913 (Post 1627045)
I do not dislike dark-skinned people, but I don't want daqrk-skinned kids. Simply being honest.
Wow...

DSTCHAOS 03-31-2008 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5Knowledge1913 (Post 1627045)
I do not dislike dark-skinned people, but I don't want daqrk-skinned kids. Simply being honest.
Because it isn't enough to just pray for healthy kids? :rolleyes:

NappyBison 03-31-2008 08:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5Knowledge1913 (Post 1627045)
I do not dislike dark-skinned people, but I don't want daqrk-skinned kids. Simply being honest.
Guess you can't be at fault for being honest :confused: It's unfortunate to see that as a people, we've been conditioned to favor one complexion over another. I know when I was little I used to question complexion but not to the point where I wanted a white baby doll over a black one. To be honest, I got ticked off when I rarely saw a black Barbie on the shelf. Even when I did see one, the lighter complexion dolls always had cuter outfits with better colors :mad: Why did the black Barbie always have to wear puke orange? Black Barbie could rock lavender, pink, fuscia, or baby blue too!

RedVelvet 03-31-2008 10:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5Knowledge1913 (Post 1627045)
I do not dislike dark-skinned people, but I don't want daqrk-skinned kids. Simply being honest.
Seriously?:confused:

Dionysus 03-31-2008 10:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedVelvet (Post 1627125)
Seriously?:confused:
Maybe she's scared they'll get hit by a car if they walk on asphalt roads. Who would see them?

Jill1228 03-31-2008 11:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS (Post 1627051)
Because it isn't enough to just pray for healthy kids? :rolleyes:
or to even be blessed with one at all, especially if you desperately want one? Don't get me started :mad:

Nappy Bison, that is a great video. I feel you about the Black Barbies.
Last weekend, I was in Toronto for my godchild's baptism. As you can guess from the picture, she is biracial (mom is Black and dad is White). My friend (the mother) and I had a conversation about this very topic and dolls. It really peeves her when people (mostly in her mom's church) say, "she is so beautiful and look at that LIGHT skin." WTF? She wouldn't be pretty if she were medium or dark skinned like her mother?

In reference to the dolls:
The paternal grandmother of my godchild (who is Scottish) sent her a doll from England. (you can see the feet of the doll in the picture). The doll's name happened to be MULATTO. My friend and I were like, "Oh no she didn't!" :rolleyes:
Part of us loved the fact that she did not up and get a White doll, but dude, did she have to get one named Mulatto? :rolleyes:

Little32 03-31-2008 11:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5Knowledge1913 (Post 1627045)
I do not dislike dark-skinned people, but I don't want daqrk-skinned kids. Simply being honest.
This just makes me sad for you.

5Knowledge1913 04-01-2008 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedVelvet (Post 1627125)
Seriously?:confused:
Serious as a heart attack!

DSTCHAOS 04-01-2008 10:57 AM
Well, I have to say that people are being really nice to 5Knowledge1913 right now.

If people weren't so baffled and felt so sorry for her frame of mind, the responses would've been different. I know that I'm holding back.

Little32 04-01-2008 11:02 AM
I am just too baffled for words. I don't even know how to responds to that comment from someone who was ostensibly born in the last 60 years.

I guess that whole black is beautiful movement fell on deaf ears here.

DSTCHAOS 04-01-2008 11:06 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Little32 (Post 1627321)
I am just too baffled for words. I don't even know how to responds to that comment from someone who was ostensibly born in the last 60 years.

I guess that whole black is beautiful movement fell on deaf ears here.
Unfortunately, there are people of racial and ethnic groups who don't want their kids to be of the darker shades.

They don't articulate it the way 5knowledge did but they will say things like "get out of the sun, you're dark enough." :rolleyes:

5knowledge made the confession and left it open-ended so we can infer whatever reasoning from it.

Little32 04-01-2008 12:25 PM
I guess I frequently associate that kind of thinking with people much older than what I perceive your soror to be. I just don't know how to respond to it; except to feel sad for a person who's perspective is so limited.

I agree with the notion that all I would want is for my children to be healthy and beautiful (which they would be because they would be my children), however that health and beauty might be packaged.

nittanyalum 04-01-2008 01:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by NappyBison (Post 1626942)
Just ran across a video that made me think about this thread...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0BxF...eature=related
Pardon the crash, but that youtube link was amazing, those young women so impressive. The updated doll experiment made me :(.

unspokenone25 04-01-2008 01:55 PM
well, since you put it out there
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 5Knowledge1913 (Post 1627045)
I do not dislike dark-skinned people, but I don't want daqrk-skinned kids. Simply being honest.
Why?


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