Don't stop midway to answer your phone. NOT cool.

Do know the difference between nibbling and biting. one feels great, the other leaves marks and will cause the involuntary motion of kicking you in the cash and prizes.

Do tease
Do act like its the BEST you'll ever have

Don't talk about the future... EVAR

don't try to cyber with me on Gchat during the day while im at work and THEN say "hold on" and then take the convo "off the record."

not only is that ridiculousness on so many levels, who still cybers anymore? geez.

Don't say: We would have some pretty kids during foreplay and get mad when I don't want to have sex.

Don't roll over and go to sleep.:rolleyes:

do call me at 12:17am on a saturday night to "just come over and chill." just be sure to
do put blueberries in my pancakes the next morning. ;)

Fixed that for you. Funnier that way :)

Do check the caller ID if the phone rings.
Do answer if its a parent. :D
Do keep going while on the phone. :D

Don't make it obvious what you are doing.
Don't rush off the phone.

Do get a quickie right before friends come over. And I'm talking walking down the walkway to your apartment building quickie.
Don't grab my crack when trying to grab/slap a butt cheek.

LMAO! That's soooo wrong on so many levels, yet also extremely funny!:p

WoW! This was hilarious. ;-)

Cash and prizes....LMAO.

umm are you my ex of who knows how many years ago??? LOL

p.s. my momma is not an easy woman to fool - she was like "you're having sex arent you?! you call me back when you finish!" it was quite hilarious recalling it but then and there - mortifying...

Just read this one -- HILARIOUS.

Do not forcibly remove a testicle from his body if he refuses to have sex with you. Do not attempt to swallow aforementioned testicle. It is a choking hazard.

Refuses? We are talking about a guy, right?

Don't get mad if I fall asleep after a good long session...you have done your job well.

Do close the door when you pee afterwards...me hearing blows the whole mood.

Did you not see that story? Girl actually did that and YES the guy declined to engage in sexual relations with her (because she was clearly a psycho) ;)

But seriously, just because he's a guy doesn't mean he wants it all the time.

You are so bad at threads related to sex - I think we all 'get' this, especially MysticCat (who is both a guy, and perhaps as far from functionally retarded as possible). Seriously.

There are days that I'm sure my wife would have to really give the possibility some thought.

I know HE gets it. I also know plenty of people don't. :rolleyes:
I could name a few on here.

LOL. Okay, Rihana.

Precisely.

I'm not sure why you think I'm one of the people with sex issues here. My boyfriend certainly doesn't complain, nor do my professors complain about my coursework in my sex related classes. So neither knowledge nor experience is lacking here :rolleyes:

(You also must have missed the thread where one GC member was SHOCKED that men could be raped.)

Nah, I didn't actually mean you have a "sex issue" at all - just that you take this 'teaching' thing a little too far, to the point where it's borderline condescending.

I'm not sure the Mother Theresa bit works, anyway - there's a reason why some of these individuals are un-/under-informed . . . I'm not sure they're really getting what you're saying, either. It just comes across as preachy and bizarrely missing any sense of humor or sarcasm detection - think back to the thread where you flipped out about the 'joke' about tying the woman's tubes while performing a c-section . . . sure, it wasn't good taste, but your reaction was incredible (to me).

No worries, dude - it's not a big deal, and I probably should PM this stuff anyway. My bad.

My reaction was like it was because I'm in the field I'm in. I'm studying to be a counselor and in taking family law classes and my counseling courses there are a lot of people who truly believe in sterilization for the poor out in the world. It didn't come off as a joke to me at all. We all have our hot buttons though. I'll try to ease up a little. The lack of sex education (of any sort) drives me crazy sometimes.

Do let me play with your hair
Do tell me what I am doing well
Do speak another language.
Do look me in the eyes.

Don't get mad if you ask, "who's is this?" and I say, "mine". (If you have to ask, :rolleyes:)
Don't tell me to call you daddy. That is NOT sexy to me. AT. ALL.

wait, first Dionysus, now MysticCat? geez, im really bad at this!


OK back to topic:

DO cry a little when you're done. You may think its a little weird and unmanly, but a little part of me knows that if i made you cry, then I.AM.THE.SHIZ.

DON'T cry a lot when you're done. I think its a little weird and unmanly, and a little part of me will think that if i made you cry, you probably have some unresolved issues in your past that i prolly can't help you with.

Huh? You thought he was a woman?

hey..I aint crying if it wasn't all that......if I can toss it up and call it SUNSHINE...then I am crying....LOL

I haven't heard of the tossing pussy in the air and calling it sunshine thing since 1990. Coming to America? Harlem Nights?

Well that was the biggest laugh I've had all day, and it came just when it was needed most. Thanks! (I think.)

And sorry but no, I won't be crying at all. :p

i never really thought about it, i wasnt analyzing HIS posts. i just got a female vibe. not that i think you're femmy MysticCat. really, now that i know, youre 100% dude in my book.


BWHAHAHA

UMM you havent gotten the memo? the early 90s are making a comeback!

you're most welcome sir! i'm starting to wonder who else i'm "wrong" about...

hell yes! just a tear will do, and admit it. dont front like your eyes are watering.

I'm gonna be honest with you. If a guy cries during sex, even a little, he's gay.

-Rudey

I have to agree with you. I could understand if it was a very special moment like a wedding night and both man and woman were to shed a tear. On the other hand, if the guy started to cry on his own, then that would be kinda...well creepy.

Thats still pretty gay ;)

I don't expect you to show just a shread of sensitivity ;)

But yeah you are right, it is a little gay.:)

Here are some things that should make the list

1.Ladies don't get mad if after having sex you may find youself in the wet spot.
2.Don't get mad or think that your partner isn't in to you because he's watching his d**k going in and out.(shoot you may be looking too.)
3.Don't act like you are the bomb in bed and you know that your skills are BULLS**T because no one likes to waste their time with someone who doesn't know what they are doing.
4.Don't try the stuff that you see in the porno flicks because they are professionals and your partner might not like double penetration or getting her azz,t*ts, or face creamed on.