Congratulations to all the new pledges. My daughter had a sweet friend pledge Tri Delt, and we got to watch the live feed this morning and that was so fun to see!

My daughter is thrilled. She received her first choice of Kappa Delta 🍀. It was so fun to watch bid day live streamed. What an exciting day 💚 with a happy ending for her. Thank you to everyone for your support on here!

Momoftiger that's wonderful! I'll PM you re: my daughter's friend.

Yeah, what she said! ;-) Happy for every girls who matches, but always a little extra excited for a new SK!

My daughter has several good friends in KD. Congrats to her!!

Hooray! Congrats!

thank you! It seems like a house full of nice girls :)

MomofTiger, tell your daughter welcome to Kappa Delta!! It is a wonderful organization and she will love her experience.

Thank you! She is so happy 💚

Momoftiger, so happy for your daughter. It's so great when they are happy.
Walkinthewoods, my daughter is an ADPi. She is over the moon with happiness with their new alpha group.

It's been great fun sharing the recruitment experience with all of you lovely ladies. Thanks so much for including us in your daughters' experiences.

Bluedoor ADPi is such a great house! One of my close college friends was an ADPi and her daughter is there now. So happy for them and their new members! Yay.

Walkinthewoods, She has loved her experience there, especially this year living in the house. It has been really special for me as I am an ADPi, too. I'm sure you understand having your daughter in your house. It must be extra special to have her at the same school you attended. I attended a different SEC school, but still love sharing the ADPi experience with my daughter.

GoMizzou, would love to hear where your daughter ended up. Hope she is happy with her new sisterhood.

Yay! I'll be updating the Who is Rushing thread with these new ladies :)

Yes Bluedoor you're so right--it's an amazing connection and a real blessing. So glad for you to have an ADPi daughter! My daughter being at the same sorority house where I went, on the same campus, is surreal (in a good way!) So wild watching her Bid Day videos, attending initiation and Moms' Weekend, walking through the same house where I lived. Many good memories and it is wonderful to know she's making her own memories and connections there now.

COB Info
 

pbear19: Thanks for the information above. I sent a PM but not sure if it was received because it doesn't show up in my "sent" box. I would be interested in hearing if any chapters are considering a Fall COB and/or Spring COB. Thanks very much for all the great information.

You have to enable things to be saved in your sent box. I ran into that trouble too....thinking I sent things, but then not seeing them sent.

As I understand it, some chapters may still add members because they are not at their chapter total - based potentially on number of seniors or older girls who go inactive for a variety of reasons - studying abroad, internships, etc... But I am fuzzy on the timing of all that. Not sure what happens now or what happens in spring. Pbear19 surely knows more!

My daughter has known several friends join through COB and been very happy. I went to dinner with one of the girls and her Mom who COB'd my daughter's sorority during Mom's weekend last year, and was just floored she was dropped during formal recruitment.

From one "NorthernMom" to another...thank you for the information and sharing stories. It is very helpful to know there are all sorts of different situations out there and she is not alone. :)

Hi! Responded to PMs. :) By the time I got home from CoMo and from picking my son up from my parents' house last night, I crashed. I think I fell asleep last night earlier than my 3 year old did!!

Some houses will probably do some informal COB this semester. It's nice to be able to pick up a few extra women right away so they can be integrated with the fall new member class! But some houses will also do a slightly more structured COB in the spring. It really varies from one house to another, as some will have advertised events that any interested PNM can attend, and some will only have private events or issue bids to friends of friends without opening up to the campus at large. Some of that depends on how many open spots they have!

Definitely the best advice for anyone interested in COB is to just be friendly and natural with any sorority women. Being friends with women in a chapter that can COB is the easiest way to get a bid. Second, be careful about any craziness. Mizzou's syllabus week is notorious, and women will find it much harder (or impossible) to COB if they become known for something inappropriate. Same goes for interactions with guys. Hooking up with a sister's ex (whether you know about the relationship or not) is a very quick way to make COB difficult. Finally, keep an open mind. Every house at Mizzou is amazing. If the woman wanting to COB had options and dropped out of recruitment because she didn't like those options, she really needs to take some time to evaluate what really happened. I know not everyone will get along with everyone. But generally the houses that can COB are the houses that those PNMs had invitations from in formal recruitment when they dropped.

Formal recruitment is crazy, fast, and it can be hard to make a decision when emotions are involved. Just because you thought that a house wasn't right for you during formal recruitment doesn't mean you should automatically discount them for COB. Quite the opposite, really!

pbear19: Great advice...thank you!

Hi Momoftiger!
Congrats to your daughter and to you for surviving the momma nerves that go along with our daughter's recruitment! My daughter pledged KD in the Fall of 2013 and loves, loves, loves it! I received a text from her this afternoon and she said that she is so excited about this new pledge class and that it's a fantastic group of girls!
Maybe we will meet sometime at the house- we will be out for homecoming:)
So happy for your daughter!!

[QUOTE=AZDBeachgirl;2328277]Hi Momoftiger!
Congrats to your daughter and to you for surviving the momma nerves that go along with our daughter's recruitment! My daughter pledged KD in the Fall of 2013 and loves, loves, loves it! I received a text from her this afternoon and she said that she is so excited about this new pledge class and that it's a fantastic group of girls!
Maybe we will meet sometime at the house- we will be out for homecoming:)
So happy for your daughter!!
[/QUOTE

Thank you! She went to her first chapter meeting last night and has her new member meeting tonight. She is very very happy. She said her pledge sisters are all sweet. I was in a different house in college, so I know very little about KD other than they were very nice girls on our campus way back when. Anything I should know as a new member mom? Any words of advice (like they will need to make this craft by X date? Or is there a yearly parents event we may want to put on our calendar now?). Thanks so much! I am so glad to hear your daughter loves KD!

My daughter's good friend who went through recruitment this year is in your daughter's new member class in KD :)

Mizzou COB
 

Congratulations to all the new members of Mizzou's 15 terrific sororities! Great news that each chapter matched to quota. If that trend continues, Mizzou might open for expansion, although some space needs to open up in Greektown.

Moms... if your daughters are interested in Continuous Open Bidding, here is the link to the form she must fill out before she can participate in the informal recruiting process.

http://orgsync.com/100308/forms/151447

I have no idea if any houses will COB this semester, or next semester for that matter. That will depend on a variety of factors. There is at least one chapter that I think will be under house quota, so they may COB in the fall. What I do know is if she wants to participate in COB, she has to complete this form. The fact that PHA has already posted this form to their website so soon after recruitment, I think, is a good sign that maybe one or two chapters are at least looking for some potential new members. :o

Good luck! Filling out the form is not a guarantee a sorority will contact your daughter, but it's a start!

COB and Grades
 

MIZparent: Thanks for the information.
Does anyone know if it makes sense to try to COB now if your grades were most likely your biggest issue...or, does it make more sense to wait at least one semester and get your grades up and then COB in Spring (if available)...or, wait until sophomore year? I'm just trying to get a sense of what is reasonable, as I wouldn't want her to go for it again so soon and then possibly be disappointed again so soon after formal recuitment.

So, your daughter was a "grade risk" and she didn't "feel a connection" to two sororities who were willing to overlook the fact that she could barely make the grade? Now, you want to know if there will be COB? I hope your daughter realizes that these two sororities that she overlooked, even though she is an admitted "grade risk" are the ones who are most likely going to be doing COB events in the spring.

I just have to say that this entire attitude, at every school--especially in very competitive recruitments like the SEC, blows my mind. I am beyond shocked that girls go in with bad grades or other issues and then get upset when they are not chosen by what they perceive to be the "top" houses due to "not feeling a connection" (which we all know is code word for something else, at least in the case of those who are grade risks). Just wow.

I really liked this thread, because we were all supportive of one another. It's a complicated system and many come here seeking guidance. To immediately jump the the conclusion that one dropped simply because "top" houses dropped her, is a bit presumptuous. I don't think she said that at all.

If you can read between the lines, you would recognize that the perceived "top chapters" would not take grade risks whereas chapters who may have a more difficult time recruiting would take a chance on her. To drop two houses as a "grade risk" through competitive SEC recruitment says a lot about entitlement mentality.

I really don't want to argue. I hate this concept of "top" and "bottom". My daughter is not in what some would say is a "top" house by any stretch. I'm not sure who feels the need to subscribe to this sort of caste system. Just because a house has an overall higher GPA doesn't mean it's tops in everyone's book. And just because a house has a lower GPA point, also doesn't mean it's not desirable to girls. I understand that there are definitely girls who do come with with the "top" and "bottom" mentality. And when the perceived elite chapters drop them, they run for the hills. But again, I don't know that is what was being asked here, and I hate for someone to get jumped on. In the end, fit is not all about elitism for all girls.

Leaving the game with cards on the table in a competitive rush is not something that is going to get a lot of positive feedback here. Speaking the truth does not equal jumping all over someone. Attending additional rounds of parties frequently changes the perception and experience considerably for PNMs--we have seen and experienced it time and time again. So who knows how she would have felt about the remaining groups?

Her focus at this point should be school and grades, and using natural opportunities of classes and activities to meet and get to know actives. In competitive schools, chapters frequently COB among friends of friends--quietly. She should let GL office know she is interested. The groups extending COB bids in the spring may well be the same ones she rejected.

And yes, "Not Feeling A Connection" in large recruitments with 70+ new member classes and 250+ chapter size is frequently, though not always, code for "They seemed weird", "They had girls of diverse sizes", "My boyfriend's fraternity doesn't exchange with them", "My Rho Chi group trash talks them".

You're missing the point. And let me put it a bit more bluntly. All but maybe 1 chapter at Mizzou are at total. For COB to be an option the chapter has to not yet be at total or drop below due to dropouts, transfers or graduations. Even the smallest chapter there is large and diverse. Not feeling a connection is a silly answer, with 250+ girls in the chapter and she met MAYBE 10 in each chapter. The young lady in question had 2 opportunities and declined them. I would consider future options this year to be zero.

And when people talk about strongest recruiting chapters where it applies to grades, yes the two aren't necessarily mutually exclusive, but the fact is the strongest chapters normally have the best grades. Because they choose their membership very carefully.

I do wish her the best of luck, but she had her chance at an SEC school and declined it. She likely won't have another chance. Thankfully you don't have to be in a sorority to have a positive college experience at a school this size.

If you get through Pref and still don't feel like you could make it work, so be it. Being Greek didn't work out for you and that is disappointing.

If you drop before going through Pref round, I don't have a ton of sympathy for you.

If you drop before preference, then you don't have all of the information available to you. You've met a handful of women in any oneorganization. You still have 1-2 parties and an opportunity to meet some more, if you just take the time to go the parties. We see too many PNMs who are sure that they don't fit with a chapter and then meet their new BFF at the last round before Pref or who go to Pref and end up changing their mind because the Pref party showed them a sisterhood that they didn't fully appreciate before. If you don't hang in there for the whole process, you are short-changing yourself.

Just a note to my fellow long-time GCers:

Mizzou has a major problem with recruitment retention. Nearly ONE THIRD of all PNMs who registered this year chose to drop out or didn't maximize their options and ended up without a bid.

ONE THIRD. 547 women to be precise.

I am the last person to ever excuse dropping early. It breaks my heart every time, because I see what kind of amazing experience these women are giving up on. But, please know that making a few moms or PNMs feel bad about it after the fact is not going to even scratch the surface of the problem.

Also, the COB opportunities at Mizzou are pretty good, compared to other SEC schools. Do the "top tier" COB? Not really. But a lot of chapters do. Last spring, thanks to some retention issues and (in my personal, unverified opinion) some incorrect reporting of pre-recruitment chapter size, 12 out of 15 chapters either did COB or were eligible to COB. Not all of them did, but it just goes to show that there are potential opportunities.

I am NOT trying to blow smoke up anyone's nether regions. COB is hard. Only a tiny fraction of those 547 women will have a chance. Especially since a number of COB women will not have even signed up for formal recruitment at all, so the pool is bigger than that.

Moms and PNMs, it is very true that you need to accept that the chapters you weren't "comfortable" with are likely to be the ones doing COB at some point this year. Some chapters may take 5 or fewer women in COB. It is not easy, and it is not a guarantee. It is also hard for sophomores to go through recruitment and have better results the second year, although it is not unheard of. Especially if there are significant improvements in grades!!

Stay out of trouble. Stay out of any bad-news scandals, especially this week when everything is a little crazy on campus. Focus on grades. Be a decent human being to every single sorority woman you meet. They do talk amongst themselves and being nice only to ABC and not to XYZ could be a deal-breaker. Register with PHA, but don't think that filling out a form is enough, because it probably isn't. You need to get to know the women in those chapters that invited you back, and decide for yourself if you really want to be greek or not. There is not a bad chapter on this campus.

What happened last week happened, and there is no changing that at this point. Tent talk, peer pressure, etc etc etc are all pretty bad and dropping can often seem like the best choice in the moment. Now that the decision has been made, for good or ill, just focus on moving forward, whether that be as a greek woman (eventually) or unaffiliated.

Off my soapbox. :) Again, congrats to all who had a successful recruitment week. Best wishes to those interested in COB, I truly hope it works out. I know I have some unanswered PMs and I have not forgotten you!

Sounds like some good, honest and fair advice.

Momoftiger- I PM'd you earlier but I don't see that message in my sent box...hmmm...let me know if you received it.
Thanks!

Not that I see

I don't think any of the moms here had daughters join Gamma Phi, but just in case anyone wants to relive Bid Day a bit... :)

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I4arrqG9fqQ

tangent, not Mizzou specific
 

It amazes me - in a good way - the emphasis that both PNMs and the Greek community put on chapter GPA nowadays, in terms of it making a chapter more or less desirable. Highest GPA has always been a bragging right, but people saying one chapter is "better" than another because of grades is something slightly odd to me.

Sad Daughter and Mom
 

I wish I would have discovered this forum before yesterday. I'm amazed at the support and wonderful advice I've read throughout the Mizzou Recruitment thread! My daughter participated in Mizzou's formal rush as a freshman this year. She released herself from rush on that Friday after the second round of cuts. The first round only two houses cut her so we were off to a great start. I'll never forget that Friday morning when I got a call from her saying only 1 house out of 7 invited her back. She was so devastated we had to send my in-laws from St.Louis to get her. We currently live in the North Dallas, TX area. She begged us to fly her home but everyone told me that was a big "NO". My in-laws took her to STL for the weekend. She went back to Mizzou but it's been 3 weeks and she has still not emotionally recovered from her rush experience.
We had all the recs. I also attended Mizzou and was in a house so she was a legacy. She knew going in there weren't any promises because she was a legacy. I'm still struggling with my feelings about my house cutting her. She only had a 3.466 high school gpa but all of her classes were IB or AP. I'm not sure if that is even considered. Her ACT was an average score 25. Where she truly shined was her community service and philanthropy work. She is outgoing and has a bubbly personality.
She keeps asking me "What went wrong mom?". It breaks my heart that she is still dwelling on what went wrong. Of course we will never know but we are guessing maybe grades were a factor. I'm trying to be as supportive and encouraging as possible. She did sign up for informal but I'm aware the houses that participate are unknown at the moment.
My daughter has made a lot of friends but they are all in sororities and she gets so sad when they come back to the dorm from chapter events with Greek gifts and decorations. These are the hardest moments for her.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

As far as what went wrong...it's a big recruitment. There is definitely such a thing as slipping through the cracks, especially for an out of state PNM.

Hanging around with only sorority women is not going to help right now. I'm not saying dump them as friends - she shows great maturity and class in NOT doing that - but it's kind of like hanging out with all newlyweds right after you go through a breakup. She needs to branch out and make some additional friends that will help her see things from a different AND POSITIVE vantage point.