I can't speak to the Greek Life office's policies or from an advisor standpoint. Ole Miss is just a whole 'nother animal compared to where I live and volunteer now.

I agree that the centrality of frat parties to the sorority recruitment scene is not ideal from a risk management standpoint or a socialization standpoint. It sets the tone that the primary reason for Greek life at Ole Miss is alcohol and parties, when it can be so much more. I wish parties where alcohol is present weren't so central to the pre-recruitment scene. But they're a fact, so savvy PNMs going to Ole Miss should be aware of them and how they might affect their recruitment.

I say, don't drink. It's illegal, could be dangerous and could lead to bad behavior that affects recruitment. But most Greek groups use the parties as a neutral place to meet potential new members. It's also a place where freshmen meet. So the PNM who avoids them entirely will miss out on meeting many potential fellow new members, as well as upperclassmen sorority sisters. A PNM won't be judged for abstaining at the parties, because the point before recruitment is meeting and greeting, not getting wasted.

You can go Greek at Ole Miss without hitting the party scene, but PNMs who so so need to make a much bigger effort to meet sorority women through on-campus activities, church, etc. That's my #1 piece of advice for PNMs at Ole Miss--get out there and MEET PEOPLE! And, don't make a fool of yo' self.

Old_Row, you made a great point and this is very accurate. If a PNM does attend parties and is hosted by a certain sorority, it will be a part of "her story." If she does it multiple times with a single house, it may reduce her appeal to other houses who think they won't have a chance with her; at the same time, she is not guaranteed a spot with the women who host her.

It's OK to stay with women from one group. It's not the kiss of death to do it once, maybe twice, but PNMs should make an effort to meet women from as many houses as possible. It's not to your advantage to cling too tightly to one house where a bid isn't guaranteed.

As an OOS mom who's daughter is going through recruitment at Ole Miss this fall, OleMissAnchor hit the nail on the head.

Her past few posts are exactly as we were told about the greek scene.

The high school seniors who are attending these spring parties are not being encouraged to drink by alumnae, and they are not exactly staying with complete strangers. Often times, it is the sorority officers and recruitment teams who are doing the inviting. The girls who are drinking are still being warned not to make fools of themselves. We have heard from several sources that girls are being cut from lists based on their behavior at these parties. Girls do need to be warned that their behavior could make or break a successful recruitment.

Ole Miss is a very competitive recruitment and often times party lists are made in advance. You have to get on their radars early! The Savvy PNM knows this! From an OOS perspective, these parties are the only way for OOS girls to meet sorority girls. Clearly Mississippi girls, especially those from Jackson, have the advantage here as they went to high school with girls in each house. My daughter was grateful for the opportunities that presented themselves to her in the way of invitations to these spring parties.

Trust me, I have been clutching my pearls since April!

Isn't this the story of Ole Miss recruitment in one sentence :eek:?!

There's a lot of talk about how difficult it is now that recruitment is in the middle of the semester. I agree the timing's awful for academics and it does stress everyone out. PNMs are on tenterhooks, waiting to find their place and compete amongst each other while actives get stuck with weeks of recruitment practice and all sorts of other things......

....but, on a positive note, I do think it helps PNMs make a wider variety of friends at different houses. For one, they're with an unaffiliated group of freshman women for several weeks. Cliques will form, but they'll get spread out over several houses post-recruitment. Those first friendships can be intense, and sometimes do last. Mine did. Compared to my parents' friends, I think I was able to make friendships and have a more "Panhellenic" social life than women in previous generations.

DUH. PNMs should NOT make fools of themselves.

Risk Management is one thing, and is absolutely an issue for the sponsoring groups; acting like a woman is a harlot because she attended a party is outdated and quite frankly, pretty sexist if you are going to give the men a pass at the same time.

There's a difference between taking some friends from high school to a baseball game or having them meet you at a mutual friend's lake house for barbeque and an all-out kegger or toga party.

Going along with a friend to introduce you to people an mind your p's and q's is one thing. Not really knowing what is up is dangerous.

And sending a girl to stay with people she basically met on Facebook? Assuming they're OK just because they're in sororities? That makes all my organs churn and I don't even have a kid.

Everything I said about HS girls, I'm sure men would think of HS guys the same way, as well. I realize there are different campus cultures, but HS guys wouldn't even get within 50 feet of one of our houses (unless, as I said, they are accompanied by a friend or bio-sibling who stays glued to them).

I assumed they were okay for my daughter to stay with because they were personal friends and/or family members of the Alumnae we did know. The girls who invited her to stay with them lived in the dorms on campus, not some random seedy apartment on the wrong side of the tracks. Most high school seniors have already turned 18 by the spring of their senior year. Hopefully by the time our children are 18, they are set to make responsible decisions all on their own, they are adults after all.

As far as staying with girls she met on Facebook, essentially, that is exactly how she found her roommate that she will be living with next year. (Ole Miss's housing website links to Facebook so the kids can check out potential roommates). I am assuming her roommate is okay.... (she looks adorable on Facebook) ;)

I'm sorry I made your organs churn, maybe by the time you have children of your own, you will understand that 18 year olds ARE adults capable of attending a party on their own with out parental supervision.

I apologize for sharpening my claws here..... I asked for advice on how PNM's should act prior to recruitment on a campus known for being a party school, I did not ask for parenting advice from someone who has yet to raise a child. :mad:

Because only parents have ever been 18. :rolleyes:

The only advice I see 33girl giving is on drinking mixed drinks.

Excuse me ladies, but if anybody starts acting like "two slice" Hilly around here the moderators will come carry you away. Please act like your grandmother is watching and that what you say might end up on the Society page this weekend.

My apologies! I haven't been myself lately. :o

That's right - I don't have 1 18-year-old daughter - but I have helped with at least 600 or so daughters by now

*crash* what is a "two slice" Hilly?

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qcMPOoJqG0...s320/Image.jpg

Hilly Holbrook, the main antagonist and the town's racist, snooty ringleader from The Help. Hilly could get very testy and did things to others most normal moral people would deeply regret.

I'm still in school. I have been to a lot of parties and obviously I don't have any 18 year olds haha. You have already let her travel far away to party with strangers so however that is going to affect her recruitment is done. This is for any future mommas coming here. I just want to tell you that from a kid's perspective this is a very bad idea. I think parties are probably pretty different than they were in your day and situations can be very bad for someone who is still in high school, far away from home and with people who aren't necessarily going to be there and interested enough or sober enough to always look out for your little girl especially since they don't know her. Bad stuff happens all the time. It's not a good idea.

Oh, Old Row, we might be holier than thou NOW, but our parties were every bit as bad, stupid, dangerous, etc., as yours are now. Actually, I think generally kids are savvier about what's what than they were back in my day, the 80's. The problem for so many parents is, yes, I might have done several seriously stupid and health threatening things as a teenager, but my kids would NEVER do any of that. Sleep with a boy she doesn't know? Get so drunk she passes out in a fraternity house? My snowflake? NEVER! Which is to say the exact same thing our parents were saying 30 and 40 years ago.

Living in dorm with RAs on campus to diffuse any issues =/= going to a party weekend with people you don't personally know.

And if this whole scenario is making a college age student talk like she's 40, that's something to think about. ;)

Yeah but the guys didn't have roofies back then....I know what you're saying. I'm a 60's flower child and yes we did stuff our parents would have cringed at...and that was with a 21 year old drinking age, campus curfew, and very few people with cars or apartments. Certainly no women students had apartments. it wasn't allowed. But I can honestly tell you - it's different today. They all live with their boyfriends, have freerun of the place at 18 - or younger. Toto, we are not in Kansas any more.

Haha I know right? Good thing I already got some pearls!!

There are too many things at work that can separate a baby girl from the herd you know? Without someone with you that really cares about you stuff can get very very ugly fast and a bad recruitment is going to end up as the least of your worries you know?

I'm just thankful the legal drinking age was 18 in the state I went to college.

In our day, people didn't have cell phones with them at all times documenting bad decisions and then uploading it to social media to be a permanent record for all to see
:eek:

They had roofies in the 80s. One of my sorority sisters was a victim...and the perpetrator was one of our fraternity busboys. She and her family didn't press charges, but he was persona non grata in the Greek community because the word got around.

Glad I grew up with just drugs, sex and rock 'n roll...

Thank goodness!! We were laughing about this a few weeks ago when a group of us met up for a weekend in Bloomington! We cringed at the thought of some of our escapades going viral! :eek:

The thing is - going to these prerecruitment parties - no one wants to be THAT girl before you even walk in the door.

My chapter was pretty prudish under anyone's definition, and we wouldn't have passed a Facebook test.

*Lane swerve* Our chapter is so prudish that we would pass a Facebook test. Every single one of us. I think that the most out of line thing that any of us has was someone taking a picture of us toasting with water in glasses at a restaurant and one of the glasses had a snapped off half open rose bloom in it. :D Such is our humor.

I like boring. :-)

*back into lane*

oh. OH! Ugh. Thanks, MP, for the reference. I had blocked it out of my mind.

I'm with Titchou, very grateful that my escapades weren't captured for posterity in perpetuity.

:rolleyes:

It is completely different. And I only graduated in 1990. Seriously, people. This was not the norm even twenty years ago. I cannot think of one sister who acted like this in a chapter of 100 women. Did girls sleep with their boyfriends? Yes. Did girls sleep with guys they liked? Yes. But this is something completely different.

Seriously, you never heard of this type of behavior? I did and I was in school before you.

In my years in college ('83-'87), we saw a significant change in behavior because of HIV. There was a huge hook up culture my freshman year (not just among freshman). By the time I graduated, people were afraid. The reality of death due to casual sex did have an impact.

But STDs have once again receded from the radar, and of course young adults think they're bullet proof.
And a media that encourages casual sex and cohabiting before married doesn't help.

You know which segment of the population has shown the biggest increase in STDs? The nursing home population!

And from all accounts, the pot was a lot less potent back then.

Re living with boyfriends, we (this is the mid-80s) had a girl basically living with her boyfriend on our floor in the dorm (this was not a 24 hour visitation dorm BTW). His roommates were assholes and he was a good guy, so no one cared. If they did, I didn't know about it.

AGDee is right in that AIDS (especially after Magic Johnson was diagnosed) changed things up, but being at a small school in the middle of nowhere, we were slow to get the memo. When I was in college, being a virgin was something to be ashamed of and you would never admit it. 6-7 years later, people were virgins or abstinent and proud of it.

Re that article, I think there are a lot of girls saying "oh, I just want to hook up and not get emotionally involved, I don't want to get tied down, I want a career, blah blah blah" that are completely full of shit. You can say over and over and over that you're just doing something for physical release, but hearts and emotions are funny things. We didn't really "date" either. We went to fraternity parties and hung out together. If you hung out with the same person all the time, you were a couple. The only people having actual "dates" were longterm couples who would go to a nice restaurant or whatever.

Shrieking laugh. This reminds me of Grandma33's nursing home roommate who was forever bringing men back to their room. It never ends, kids. :)

So few men and so many women - more or less a captive audience as well!

Yes. I think that there are a lot more in the media that are highlighting the outliers. There is a lot of craziness that goes on at parties, but not as much as movies or tv would have you believe. And if she is seeing the same guy over and over - they are in a relationship (just not a very good one.)

Does anyone know how party invites are handled at Ole Miss? Do they get slipped under their doors the night before, or do they pick them up minutes before they are expected to attend round 2 and/or pref?

How much time do the girls have to process their invite list prior to actually attending the parties? Seems to me that if they are having a less than perfect recruitment, they may need time to collect themselves before having to put on a pretty face.

Somebody told me they were slipped under their doors the night before, but that doesn't seem right...