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We Just Can't Know Why.....
Do not beat yourself up wondering why your daughter was cut from her favorites or isn't receiving bids from many sororities! There is no way to know why things turn out the way they do. Yes, the truth is that many ofthe girls who will get bids are not valedictorian, homecoming, honor society go getters. But they were the ones who were able to make the most of their 20 minutes of facetime with each house. There are some girls who are naturally good at this and others who struggle with it. For a lot of girls, this is not the optimum atmosphere to showcase their personality. The sorority girls have seen many of these girls on paper via recomendations and rush applications. When they get a chance to see them in person it is up to the girl to make the most of that brief time. Some can do it and some can't. It doesn't mean that one girl is better than the other it just means that she was more comfortable in the rush situation than the other girl. As parents we would do anything to ensure our childs happiness and well being and your feelings are totally understandable. Please keep us posted on what your daughter's or sister's choices are, I truly wish them every happiness!
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Hmmmm...I'm thinking about skipping church to await AuburnMom's post.
Nahh...I'll check back later! :) |
Dropped
My daughter got dropped from sorority recruitment. I really just don't understand what the heck is going on down there. I am very very sick and mad and upset about this. She says she doesn't know what she did wrong. She said it isn't any big deal. I said maybe that is what is wrong she didn't try her best and take this seriously enough. I am starting to wonder if she even belongs at Auburn.
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Auburn is a great school - sure it's not 'Harvard' but what is, Harvard??
Second, yes, recruitment is competitive but it isn't everything. There's a reason your daughter chose Auburn. It's a school. It's a spirit. There's no campus on earth like it. Greek life is not the end all be all at Auburn. There are a ton other ways to be involved on campus. I had just as many friends that were independent as greek. I know it's a tough time but don't let it get your daughter down. It will be tough but she'll weather it. War Eagle!!!! |
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She had good friends in one group, though, and when they had a few spaces to fill, they pulled her in. Then after her first recruitment on the sorority side, she found out they had to cut MANY girls just to get down to the number they were allowed to invite back. There got to be no real rhyme or reason why they cut, they just had to limit who they invited back. The good thing about Auburn - and I had children at both Auburn AND at Alabama at the same time - is that although sororities are a kind of big deal, they really are less at Auburn than at Alabama and other SEC schools. Plenty of girls make it "big on campus" without being in a sorority. I know that after 24 hours, it was WAY less of a big deal to daughter than it was to me. By the time she was asked to join, it was nice, but there were other things to do, too. |
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You are starting to wonder if she belongs at Auburn? Because she didn't get a bid? You've got to be kidding me? The last time I checked, I thought that we went to college to get an education. To question whether you belong at a college based on if you get a bid or not, shows a SERIOUS set of whacked out priorities or an obvious lack in faith in your daughter that she can find a niche on her own in a non greek organization. I feel sorry for your daughter, but not just for getting cut from rush, but having to listen to comments like this from her own mom... |
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One must also think about how an established Greek community will treat a new chapter. Many PNMs are looking to join the "best" (read: old, established, traditional) chapter and may not give a new chapter a chance. Because quota would decrease (unless more PNMs sign up) the top chapters would take fewer new members, and recruitment could become more competitive. |
No one likes geting cut . . .
Momto2gals - I am truly sorry at the way things went for your daughter. But these boards are full of stories of heartbreak that turned to joy - either through informal recruitment, involvement in other activities, or any other way of finding your place on campus.
It's tough - but your daughter may well learn a great deal about handling rejection (which, let's face it, we all have to do) with grace and then moving on to the next thing. I hope she will go through informal recruitment - if she does, be sure and let us know what happens! |
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But you know, a lot of it is in who cuts you when. Let's say that a PNM gets asked back to 15 sororities after first parties and has to choose 12. She cuts M, N, and O. She doesn't know the groups too well yet but would have been comfortable in all 15. Then the big cuts come after second parties and she's suddenly down from 12 groups to 5 or 6. Later she's released from rush. She might have fit in wonderfully with M, N, and O and they were great chapters, nothing "wrong" with them. It was just a luck of the draw thing. This is why I maintain that in a big recruitment, the girls who get cut more heavily after first parties often end up with more options later than those whose heavy cuts come after second parties. A lot of times, the showier sororities might keep a girl until after second parties because she's a legacy or because she has good recs but they don't intend to pledge her. Then they cut her and she can't go back to the groups she cut earlier. |
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