:rolleyes: i have no problem with the "wife submissive to her husband" rule. ooh, see that? it said WIFE! that, my friend, is where the line is. i am generally submissive as a fiancee, but not to the level i will be after we say "i do"...

my problem with the "our women" slant a few of you mentioned, is that i hear it too often. it is the answer a lot of times to the "why are you dating outside your race?" question. i dont mind interracial dating at all, mind you, but think its unfair to black women when we are stereotyped in that way. after all the oppression we, as a people, went thru together, you would think you would want a strong black woman. there are so many of "our women" who are without men and raising children for various reasons. you should support that strength in us!

we, in turn, AS WOMEN need to learn that skill of letting you all do your thing. not specifically as black women. oh, and uh, dont tell me every man is MAN ENOUGH to lead a household...hmm?

Roles according to who? The religious right? If this works for you and your wife cool..


See, this is where I have a problem. I don’t let a book run my life. Say what you want but I know exactly why I'm single and this is the root. I'm too much of an individualist esp. when it comes to religion. I got into it yesterday on my date about this very topic. Men and women can lead each other equally but because of society rules (Christian), women feel like they have to be subservient, on all levels. Sorry, I can’t do that.

As far as Im concerned, we MUST walk side by side.

you know what, i think the problem is exactly how the family should be led by the man. my father is head of the household. did he make all the decisions by himself? no. my mother has input on every major decision. if he disagrees, nothing is done until they resolve it. that sounds 50/50, and looks that way from the outside. but we all know deep down that daddy wears the pants. its nothing that we see or hear. we just know it. the one thing we do have proof of, is him including her in decisions. i dont think hes ever made one without her, and thats the way it should be. hes more like, the speaker of the house lol

That worked for them however my parents did everything equally so in essence they were both head of the household. They were married for 62 years and seperated by his death. My issue is that men expect women to be strong yet subservient and LET them be in charge. Why cant both be in charge? I can not and will not let someone, esp. a man tell me how, what, when, why, where... and expect me to just go along. That's me. I will hurt a mans EGO (because that's what it really about) in a second and not think twice if he tries to "put me in my place". I've done it before and have NO problems doing it agin.;) My life is by MY terms and no one elses.

MARRIED TO THE DAY I DIE AND BEHOND BRO
 

AND IF I HAD TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN I WOULD BE RIGHT HERE W? YOU

So why couldnt you walk by her side WITH her? Would it have killed you?

i think my mom is just the type of person who was happy in that situation. now me?? or either of my two sisters?? hell naw. it is an equal walk. i dont do anything major without him, and vice versa.

someone, i think Prettyboy, said that women arent designed to "take on the load"...what the hell? not only are we designed to do it, there are just as many of us actually doing it as there are men! like i said earlier, and i will say it again...women need to know how to run a household. if she is willing to sit back and let her man make the decisions, she may be in for a world of disappointment.

"honey, pack the house up, we're moving to Canada because i said so!" it seems funny, but i have a girlfriend who has 5 children, living 250 miles away from home while her husband aka head of household, is off working at a job he could have easily gotten here where we live. she is alone, no car, no job, no spending money, no cable, no neighbors...see where i'm going with this? she was "submissive" because thats what her mother told her she should be. she loves her family but she's miserable...what about her needs? being head of household should first and foremost incorporate the other persons wants and needs and feelings.

too many men feel that "submissive" equals "i do what i want, when i want and you cant do anything about it".

And then get all offended when you call them on it. Hypocritical and a blown up ego.:rolleyes:

if shes not behind you, but you are in the lead...please explain!:confused:

oh and uhh, do you explain that exactly how you put it when you enter relationships? even my most religious, old fashioned girlfriends would be a bit surprised. it comes off a bit...pushy?

You're right, there are some sorry jokers out there who don't/won't work, cheat, run the streets, hang out at clubs w/o their woman beside them, hang out at bars to get drunk and pick up hoish women. Yeah, that's a poor excuse for a man, and I wouldn't give a squirt of piss for a joker like that. And hell no, they won't lead. Men like that are content with the woman leading. In fact these men look for a sugar mama. They literally want to be taken care of. Lazy jokers.:mad:

As far as black women are concerned, according to Ebony, 70% of them are single. What I have a problem with is when black women get mad when they see a black man with a white woman. Hell, that's their business. I don't know what's up with that.

No, I don’t agree with it but I wasn’t trying to argue with you either. I though it was decent dialogue. You put it out there and I was responding to your opinion. Just looking for some insight.

And for the record, I never said anything about her being behind, I simply asked why you couldn't walk together. :cool:

Dont get it twisted. I said equal

Merriam-Webster English dictionary
http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary
Main Entry: 1equal
Pronunciation: 'E-kw&l
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin aequalis, from aequus level, equal
1 a (1) : of the same measure, quantity, amount, or number as another (2) : identical in mathematical value or logical denotation : EQUIVALENT b : like in quality, nature, or status c : like for each member of a group, class, or society <provide equal employment opportunities>
2 : regarding or affecting all objects in the same way : IMPARTIAL
3 : free from extremes: as a : tranquil in mind or mood b : not showing variation in appearance, structure, or proportion
4 a : capable of meeting the requirements of a situation or a task b : SUITABLE <bored with work not equal to his abilities>
synonym see SAME



Merriam-Webster English dictionary
http://www.m-w.com/dictionary.htm

submit

Main Entry: sub·mit
Pronunciation: s&b-'mit
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): sub·mit·ted; sub·mit·ting
Etymology: Middle English submitten, from Latin submittere to lower, submit, from sub- + mittere to send
transitive verb
1 a : to yield to governance or authority b : to subject to a condition, treatment, or operation <the metal was submitted to analysis>
2 : to present or propose to another for review, consideration, or decision <submit a question to the court> <submit a bid on a contract> <submit a report>; also : to deliver formally <submitted my resignation>
3 : to put forward as an opinion or contention <we submit that the charge is not proved>
intransitive verb
1 a : to yield oneself to the authority or will of another : SURRENDER b : to permit oneself to be subjected to something <had to submit to surgery>
2 : to defer to or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another
synonym see YIELD - sub·mit·tal /-'mi-t&l/ noun