Well, since I'm going through rush in a few months, what answer should I give when a house asks me what other parties I'm attending? That sort of puts someone in an awkward situation.

I would just say you're really glad to be at that house and hope that's the end of it. Like others have said, they really shouldn't be asking that (but some people do anyway).

out of sheer desperation during a conversation with a girl who REALLY did not want to be at my house during recruitment, i asked her that question. her response was "i really don't feel comfortable sharing that"-- polite, but sure as hell put me in my place!! :o

It shouldn't have been asked.

It's certainly not your fault it was asked, and it shouldn't have been held against you that you answered honestly, but you might be on to something about your rusher concluding that you would be more interested in the other chapters.

It's really a shame she didn't have more confidence in her group, really, if you think about it.

I'm glad things worked out overall!

This was an especially interesting and educational thread for me. Thanks for posting it!

Someone asked me that during recruitment, and I was embarassed by the answer, because the chapter where I was was the only one I was interested in at that point. I already knew the girl who did it pretty well, so I don't know if that's better or not. I definately felt like I HAD to answer.

Well, at least if the chapter you're at is the only one you're interested in you can say "This is the only chapter that I am visiting that I am interested in pledging." I would think it's kind of hard to argue with that.

During recruitment my freshmen year (before I transferred), I was asked this question on Pref Night by the only chapter I was preffing... I answered that I was only attending that party that night. The girl who was preffing me told me that maybe that was best. I agreed with her, but the rest of the party was strained and awkward. In hindsight, I'm not sure why... but it was. I didn't receive a bid from that chapter - but it really was for the best. I transferred back home the next semester and found my real home! :) Moral of the story: Don't ask that question. It can make things very awkward.

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bravo, bravo, dgdramadawg; lovely thread

and as to the question about what other prefs you are attending, that would be a BIG FAT RECRUITMENT INFRACTION to ask a PNM such a thing at my school. yeah, it would be helpful when making bid lists, but you could never ask the PNM such a thing! shame! it's right up there with, "what does your daddy do for a living?"

Great thread!

As for asking what houses you go to- I don't know that there is a good way to answer it.

I rushed back in the day when you were given flowers at each house during prefs. So by the time you arrived at your third house, it was obvious what other houses you were preffing. We had two houses that gave pink roses- but one of the roses had a pearl hatpin stuck in the middle of it. A friend of mine took out the hatpin so that everyone thought she had preffed the other house.

Plus you had to sit through pref holding the flowers from anothe house!

Um, I am retty sure that is a Sopranos joke, right? They were afraid Tony might come after them? Anyhow, loving the thread!

She pledged before the Sopranos was ever on TV, but I love that everyone is making this connection! :)

when I was a PX, I advised my girls to answer the "who did you get invited to" question with,

"i got invites from a few chapters that I'm really interested in, I haven't made up my mind, I'm trying to get a feel of where I'll fit best. I'm very glad to have been invited to your (insert round name here) party, though!"

Unfortunately, chapters at Otterbein DO ask, and always ask, and I still think it is not quite right to do so.

phoenix, you are such a good recruitment counselor!! your suggested response is very good.